Fair Whether Girl Friends

[Almaz]

I have a friend she is a sweet person. But when she is with a man I don't hear from her for about 6 to 8 months then when she breaks up with this guy of the moment she is calling me like I just spoke with her yesterday. When my friends are in relationships I totally understand and I respect boundries. But she gets totally Dic*matised when she is with a new guy and she disappears.

I laugh about it. But then I found out she was doing this to EVERYONE in our environment. We told her to remember you GF's have been here so don't forget about us and don't take us for granted and don't expect us to always be around to help you pick up the pieces after you latest breakup.

She is not a fly by night aquaintance. We were born in the same City we immigrated to Israel together we were in the Army together. I have known her all my life.

But sometimes I worry but she is grown. But it is nerve wracking cause I told her the other day NO more crying to me when you break up no more.

She had the nerve to get mad at me. I was like UHHHHH.

Did/Does or Do anyone on here have someone like that in their lives and how do you deal with that. If she were anyone else I would have cut her loose like that. But we go back since birth basically and we grew up like sisters. But she is flaking now.

Should I cut her loose?

What would you do?

Thankserplexed

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

My bff did that and I was devastated! I lost my bestfriend. But I respected her and her relationship but I felt kicked to the curb. And when I was dating, she once made an off-set comment about dating and I didn't know if she was talking about me or what. Then she found her beau. Good! But it hurt the way she just pissed me to the side. I let it go. Never called her again. Got word she was trying to contact me. I'm like, dude, you know where I live but I ain't chasing you. You value friendship, you come round here. Anyhoo, mamiye, you know I'm there for you 24/7, no matter what...even through my poor understanding lolol! Love you

 

[janaq2003]

I've had that happen. Some folks just aren't used to having a man.

 

[bimbabe]

I think it is too soon to "cut her loose".
Have a heart to heart. Tell her how you feel again. And then if she repeats the cycle when she has a new man and you hardly hear her make yourself unavailable when she comes back around.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

I've been there, and I cut them loose. I just let it be. Sometimes, they have to live and learn. When you try to talk to them, they don't want to hear it.

 

[Syrah]

Talk to 'em about it, and if they're not trying to hear you or flip it and try to make it seem like it's you, cut 'em loose.

You have to BE a friend to have friends. And it doesn't mean that as friends we don't go through "lulls", ebbs and flows - but damn...if the status of our relationship as friends is dependent on whether or not you have a man in your life, you're really not my friend.

 

[luvn_life]

Yeah that's how some of my friends get. When our friends used to say stuff to them they used to be like... that's how its supposed to be when you get a man or you're just jealous, or go ahead or I don't need no one but my man. So, if you do talk to her, don't be surprised if you get one of those responses. If its becoming toxic to you, then let her go. But, if she's a good friend then don't let her go. She still needs you even when she doesn't realize it. She doesn't understand that her relationships will never work with those guys because when a good guy comes, he wants to join your life, not take your life from you.

 

[ClassicChic]

I've noticed this and cannot understand it. Men keep their friends/ties. They keep their 'foundation'. Women let everything/everyone go. Not all the time but I see this quite often.

 

[bermudabeauty]

I have a friend exactly like this however.....it isn't when she necessarily has a man, it is when things start going bad she blows my freaking phone up. Then whenever the issue is resolved. I'm on millitary silence for weeks sometimes months. I haven't talked to her since her 30th birthday which was over a month ago. I guess she got her gift and she'll be cool for a while. Till the next issue comes.

 

[lilsis]

I hate that type of ish! I've been there with my ex best friend and it was an awful experience because she had the audacity to tell me that I'm just jealous etc. Anyhoo... the story is long and convoluted and she ended up cutting me out of her life for 5 years. These days she's wanting to be friends but I still harbour feelings of resentment and sometimes I feel like she takes me for granted.

So what do I do? Cut her loose or not? Let's say I decide to just end the friendship... do I talk to her about it?

 

[akeli]

I have an acquaintance like that, whenever she is seeing someone none of us hear from her for months. Then when the relationship ends she expects me to kick my friends/plans to the curb and hang out with her. I did try to include her when I had plans with other friends, but then she would try to isolate me from them and hog all of my attention. Needless to say, I kicked her to the curb. Now, she calls my party buddy and tries to insert herself that way. My friend invited her to hang out with us and the first thing she does when she gets there is gets a chair and places it between me and my friend. Then she proceeded to ask me why I am so busy that I cannot bother to call her. erplexed

 

[Almaz]

oh so not only is she flaky she is also obtuese

I have an acquaintance like that, whenever she is seeing someone none of us hear from her for months. Then when the relationship ends she expects me to kick my friends/plans to the curb and hang out with her. I did try to include her when I had plans with other friends, but then she would try to isolate me from them and hog all of my attention. Needless to say, I kicked her to the curb. Now, she calls my party buddy and tries to insert herself that way. My friend invited her to hang out with us and the first thing she does when she gets there is gets a chair and places it between me and my friend. Then she proceeded to ask me why I am so busy that I cannot bother to call her. erplexed

 

[StarFish106]

i have a friend or whatever that does this whether it's a man or her other so called friends. If her other hang out buddies have pissed her off, then I get moved to the top of the list as the Best Friend for the moment. As soon as they are back to speaking, I hear nothing from her. We have known each other since we were 11 (we are 37 now). I tried to tell her I didn't appreciate it in the past but she thought i was making an issue out of nothing. So now I have removed myself from the rotation. Don't call/email me to bich about this other shady chicks that you roll with. I don't want to hear it. They treat her like crap at times but she runs back to them. Those of us (i went to HS with her BFF) who are normal get kicked to the rear and we have always been there for her even though we were the ones she treat(ed) like crap.

So I stepped to left and kept on moving. Now when I do hear from her it's a" hey hi what's going on good to hear from you talk to you later "type deal. I.don't.have.time.