Ever had a bad friendship go wrong?

[lenu80]

I'll try to summarize this; Had a friend for 9 years, made her godmother & shared stuff with her. Regardless of her insecurities - stopped her husband from talking to me about her, always compared my husband to hers, negative remarks like her kids birthday party was better than mine. My dh is african, we got married & my parents refused to show. Anyway my mum came to visit when I gave birth.
So "Sade" & her husband tells dh to stay away from my mum because she could have a hidden agenda, not to eat anything she cooks & she could be a witch.
I told her she couldn't be godparents any more, we still kept in touch but I later found out she was telling people stuff I told her. I was wicked & heartless to remove the godmother title.

What would you have done in this situation? P.S They are not aware that I know of the bad advice given to dh. She has made negative remarks indirectly on Facebook.
Do I let her know I'm aware of what was said? I'm heart broken because I know of the sacrifice my mom made for us & don't take it lightly. How do you forgive & move on?

 

[GoldenRule]

Sever the friendship and move on with your lives. The damage is done.

 

[nlamr2013]

Yes cut this person off completely protect your mind and heart

 

[LiftedUp]

Could you "remove" someone as a godparent? I thought that it was written in the books and set in stone lol.

I guess you cannot acknowledge her as a godparent and leave it as that.

If I were in your situation I would be upfront with her and tell her that I am aware of what she told your husband regarding your mother. Tell her why her words hurt you and the sacrifice that your mother made in being there. Let her know that you know the rumors that she is saying and you do not appreciate it and that you will be severing ties with her and that she would no longer be acknowledged as a godparent.

 

[hairqueenny]

I was in a similar situation as you. The best thing to do is let her know exactly how you feel and cut off the friendship. Using Facebook as a way to make negative comments about the situation was very childish of her and proves that she is not a real friend.

 

[Sosoothing]

I agree with everyone who says you need to cut this woman and her family out if your life. If it makes you feel better, tell her your reasons. If you don't care either way, then you don't have to explain yourself to her.

Are you angry, hurt, disappointed or all 3? Part of forgiving IMO involves reflecting and finding out why you have the feelings you have. Yes, she betrayed you and wasn't a good friend. But why do her actions affect you like they do? Do you feel guilt because you believe you could have done more? Do you feel hurt because you associate other actions towards you with yourself worth?....and so on.
Don't give her actions and words any more power than they deserve. You already have all you need in Christ. Pray, read inspiring scripture and most of all believe it. It sounds easier said than done, but I have had disappointing friendships before and understanding that friends not proving to be real friends can happen because no one is perfect makes it easier to move on or deal with situations.

 

[lenu80]

Thanks everyone. I did cut her off and it's been a while we spoke or saw one another. I saw her in church & had a rush of emotions thank God we do not attend the same church. It's sad because some people I thought were my friends also cut me off because of the nasty things she told them about me.
I forgiven them & trying to move forward knowing God loves me. I'm an introvert so making friends is not so easy for me & opening up also. And I pray God sends good friends my way. I do have 2 good ones for now but live out of state.
Thanks again ladies for having me vent out.

 

[Blackpearl1993]

Thanks everyone. I did cut her off and it's been a while we spoke or saw one another. I saw her in church & had a rush of emotions thank God we do not attend the same church. It's sad because some people I thought were my friends also cut me off because of the nasty things she told them about me.
I forgiven them & trying to move forward knowing God loves me. I'm an introvert so making friends is not so easy for me & opening up also. And I pray God sends good friends my way. I do have 2 good ones for now but live out of state.
Thanks again ladies for having me vent out.

Hi,

I am praying in agreement that God will send you some good, trustworthy friends. I do understand how you feel. I am praying that God heals your hurt and that he heals the hearts of the people you have mentioned. People who act this way need healing from God.