lady_godiva
Well-Known Member
I just want to know your thoughts. Is this possible? Has anyone been in a relationship with one? Or is their such a thing?
Effeminate Heterosexual Men
- Thread starter lady_godiva
- Start date
I was in a casual relationship with one recently. I'm attracted to "metro" men, but this one was something else.
He didn't have a single hair on his body, shaved it all off. Eyebrows were always maintained. He clothing shopped when he was bored or had time to kill. (Other ex's would beeline to bestbuy to play video games as soon as they get to the mall, metro or not.) He spent hours working out and tanning. I had to beg him to wear a pair of draws just so he could prove he in fact owned some.
And he had a somewhat homophobic attitude. I think if you are totally comfortable with your sexuality you should be able to go to a gay club and not worry. Furthermore he had "gayface" as perez hilton would say.
I've debated whether he's just effeminate, or if one day he'll come out. I mentioned it to him and he said he was tired of hearing it. He was so chill, never got upset or heated about anything, but when I brought up that subject, he made sure I knew to back off.
For now, I believe he's straight until he proves otherwise. The jury's still out for me on whether effeminate men exist.
He didn't have a single hair on his body, shaved it all off. Eyebrows were always maintained. He clothing shopped when he was bored or had time to kill. (Other ex's would beeline to bestbuy to play video games as soon as they get to the mall, metro or not.) He spent hours working out and tanning. I had to beg him to wear a pair of draws just so he could prove he in fact owned some.
And he had a somewhat homophobic attitude. I think if you are totally comfortable with your sexuality you should be able to go to a gay club and not worry. Furthermore he had "gayface" as perez hilton would say.
I've debated whether he's just effeminate, or if one day he'll come out. I mentioned it to him and he said he was tired of hearing it. He was so chill, never got upset or heated about anything, but when I brought up that subject, he made sure I knew to back off.
For now, I believe he's straight until he proves otherwise. The jury's still out for me on whether effeminate men exist.
deltadreamland
Well-Known Member
It can all be so confusing. I knew a few in college that had "girlfriends". But on the other hand, you have very fine masculine men
that turn out to be gay.
erplexed I think I was more shocked to learn of the masculine men that turned out to be gay than I was of the feminine men that turned out to be straight. 
that turn out to be gay.erplexed I think I was more shocked to learn of the masculine men that turned out to be gay than I was of the feminine men that turned out to be straight. 
TheGrimPhreaker
Active Member
Yes I dated on for about 7 months and after a while, I couldn't take it anymore. He had a higher voice pitch than mine, and his actions were very feminine.....he had longer hair than mine at the time too...
He was always telling me "You should wear this....", "Try this on".... "Oh this would make your shape look better".... I was like , then I would make a beeline to the video game store, while he was busy getting his "shop on". Then he'd get mad because I owned him in video games, and always embarrassed him when his friends came over to play video games.... I'd want to invite my friends over and he'd be like "Oh, why don't you just get to know some of MY friends....." Ugherplexed Now that I think of it, I spent alot of time ignoring EVERY single word he said, especially over the phone and He's all like....
and I'll say something to the effect of "Mmmmmhmmmm, yeah, I know what you mean...." then he'll come out and say "What did I just say?"....
Till this very day (we've dated for 7 months), I still think he is gay, and should come out. I've been pressing him about it for YEARS. He still won't explain to me why I saw him talking to a tranny prostitute late at night in Times Square....
He was always telling me "You should wear this....", "Try this on".... "Oh this would make your shape look better".... I was like , then I would make a beeline to the video game store, while he was busy getting his "shop on". Then he'd get mad because I owned him in video games, and always embarrassed him when his friends came over to play video games.... I'd want to invite my friends over and he'd be like "Oh, why don't you just get to know some of MY friends....." Ugherplexed Now that I think of it, I spent alot of time ignoring EVERY single word he said, especially over the phone and He's all like.... and I'll say something to the effect of "Mmmmmhmmmm, yeah, I know what you mean...." then he'll come out and say "What did I just say?"....Till this very day (we've dated for 7 months), I still think he is gay, and should come out. I've been pressing him about it for YEARS. He still won't explain to me why I saw him talking to a tranny prostitute late at night in Times Square....
For me effeminate and metrosexual are 2 completely different things. I would date a metrosexual man but not an effeminate man. One acts like a woman while the other like to pamper themselves like one. Some guys are both.
Metrosexual -
A heterosexual male that:
-is ONLY attracted to women
-give great attention to his appearance
-uses plenty of skin/hair care products
-dresses in style and enjoys shopping
-is hip to all things sophisticated
-prefers wine to beer
-is extremely name-brand conscious
-enjoys hosting parties/events
-is a romantic with an appreciation for art
The guiding light for all metrosexuals - David Beckham
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=metrosexual&page=3
Effeminate-
a man or boy having traits, tastes, habits, etc., traditionally considered feminine, as softness or delicacy.
characterized by excessive softness, delicacy, self-indulgence
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/effeminate
Metrosexual -
A heterosexual male that:
-is ONLY attracted to women
-give great attention to his appearance
-uses plenty of skin/hair care products
-dresses in style and enjoys shopping
-is hip to all things sophisticated
-prefers wine to beer
-is extremely name-brand conscious
-enjoys hosting parties/events
-is a romantic with an appreciation for art
The guiding light for all metrosexuals - David Beckham
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=metrosexual&page=3
Effeminate-
a man or boy having traits, tastes, habits, etc., traditionally considered feminine, as softness or delicacy.
characterized by excessive softness, delicacy, self-indulgence
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/effeminate
I'm not seeing the difference in these definitions. Stereotypically feminine traits, tastes, habits are listed under the metrosexual man.
I'm not sure if I believe in bisexuality, I'm one who thinks those people are just being greedy. Chose a sex and stick with it.
But does anyone believe that a gay man can be physically attracted to and aroused by a woman. Meaning if a male you suspect might be gay, enjoys heterosexual intercourse, is that proof enough that he's straight?
RoundEyedGirl504
Well-Known Member
One of my good friends is one. He always has crushes on girls but they never want to date him because, well, I think they suspect he is gay. I honestly don't think he is gay, I think he just didn't really grow up with any male role models. He is very neat, but not really metro (overly groomed). He is just kind of "sweet" as my granny would say.
soulfusion
Well-Known Member
I have a friend that kinda falls into this category and he's married (for many years ... not to me!). He's not really effeminate, but there's something about the way he carries himself that makes me "forget" that he's a guy when I'm talking to him. We've been talking about folks before and I've just caught myself from saying "gurrrrrrrl .... blah blah blah". I could never be attracted to someone like him, but he's a great friend.
Bachelorette
New Member
For me a man is effeminate not only because he acts like a girl as in pampering himself , liking the finer things in life etc but the effeminate characteristic is shown in his hand gestures, the way he walks, holds himself, talks sits etc. Metro sexual men can be the masculine alpha male without being effeminat. An effeminate man is not a masculine man-but a masculine man can be metrosexual. The effeminate man is girly in more ways than just liking to go to the ballet, liking art, having pedicures etc- that is the difference.
EG
Frasier (in the sitcom Frasier) is metrosexual and the supporting character in Will and Grace- the guy- (not Will) is effeminate but not necessarily metrosexual.
P Diddy is metrosexual but not effeminate, the gay guy in real housewife of Atlanta (Nene Friend? I think) is very effeminate and also metrosexual
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Have you ever read the Kinsey report/study. This definately happens all the time. It's called bisexuality or (sometimes denial). How else would so many gay men father children the traditional way? They must have enjoyed it at some point to impregnate their former wives/girfriends (the traditional way) before they decided that gay was the way for them.
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I like pretty boys who take care of themselves. One it keeps me on my toes to be the pretty one in the relationships. Secondly I think it's because my older brother was/is a pretty boy but he will still go out there and fix a car, mow the lawn, etc. I look for that in dates as well. That's not always who I date but I realized I look for that in some. I like a man that can dress.
Now I don't like a man that has gestures, shape, features, etc of a woman. That's where the effeminate part comes in.
Now I don't like a man that has gestures, shape, features, etc of a woman. That's where the effeminate part comes in.
lady_godiva
Well-Known Member
This male to whom I am referring is very much an alpha male.