Dysfunctional Family

[Choirgirl]

I'm trying to figure out how to help my family. Unfortunately, I must face the fact that I cannot help them. I have one aunt who is about to be evicted. She has three children, one of whom is pregnant. The other is 15 and has boyfriend that pretty much lives with them.

I have another aunt who is in jail. She goes on trial today. She has plead not guilty. If she is found as such by a jury, she will be released and homeless.

I can't allow neither of them to move in with me. I'm stressed out because they put all this in my lap. Aunt number one doesn't have heat and the door to her apartment doesn't lock. She swears like a sailor. Her pregnant daughter is also mean.

I have a brother who's not married, but due to have his first baby in about 24 hrs. He is not working -so of course I need to help him.

DH expects me to fill in for him to help care for his elderly parents.

All these people need me to be there for them. I cannot... I have my own set of responsibilities between school and work. I feel bad about it, but what can I do?

 

[Almaz]

Can the one that is getting evicted and the one that may be released from jail go to social services and get some help. That is too much of a burden for you to bare when they got themselves into this situation.

As far as your brother he got the girl pregnant not you he has to man up. You sound very kind My hugs and prayers are with you but don't wear yourself out worrying over people who put the fun in Dysfunction

 

[Choirgirl]

Social services was my thought as well. However, they don't help as much as you might think outside of checking to see if she qualifies for stamps and then send her on her way.

I really feel bad for the children involved. Both aunts have small children. One has a 7 yr. old and the other one who is in jail has a 15 year old. They've been putting their problems in my lap for years and years. I have learned to let go and let God...but, almost too late.

Tonight, the first aunt left me a message stating, "The N**** (referring to her landlord) gave me a 3 day eviction notice as I was returning home (with the baby) from school. Please hurry up and find us a house because I'm not trying to go back to the shelter."

You know what? I can't "find" her a house. All I can do is glance through the classifieds and I barely have time to do that. I just feel so awful. What really bothers me is that both aunts are older than I am. I'm supposed to be leaning on them!

 

[Almaz]

Yeah I know but some people never grow up they just get older. well are there any neighbourhood housing services that are not affiliated with the city or maybe Catholic Charites and why isn't SHE on blowing up the Classifieds looking for a place that is not your job.Does she have deposit or first months rent. Credit check money I am sorry why is she trying to put all this burden on you? she has a small child in tow so maybe she can get some emergency services. It won't be easy but it can be done

 

[Choirgirl]

Yeah I know but some people never grow up they just get older. well are there any neighbourhood housing services that are not affiliated with the city or maybe Catholic Charites and why isn't SHE on blowing up the Classifieds looking for a place that is not your job.Does she have deposit or first months rent. Credit check money I am sorry why is she trying to put all this burden on you? she has a small child in tow so maybe she can get some emergency services. It won't be easy but it can be done

I will recommend all of the above to her because because really, there is nothing I can do. She wanted me to offer to open my home. But 1) DH can't stand to be in her presence for too long because she swears violently at times. 2) I need peace in my home.

As for money, she did mention that she has some money. I didn't ask how much. At the time, I felt so overwhelmed, I was speechless.

 

[Almaz]

Some days it just good NOT to pick up the phone

Caller ID is a wonderful thing. you cannot allow that mess in your home. Boundries are important

 

[Choirgirl]

Some days it just good NOT to pick up the phone

Caller ID is a wonderful thing. you cannot allow that mess in your home. Boundries are important

Yes! Family often complain that I don't answer my phone enough.

 

[donna894]

These burden need to be taken to the Lord. You, as a human being, can only do so much. I can understand your aunt not wanting to live in a shelter, but given her situation, that might be her only choice.

Choirgirl, you can not solve everybody's problems. You have to prioritize. Do what you can. Your family will have to find other resources for the rest.

This is a lot for you to bare. Please take these burdens to the Lord in prayer. Seek His guidance and direction.

God bless and keep you.