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sunkissedskin, if I followed your regimen, I'd have as much trouble as you do. Like @
laurend, I found all the things you're doing way too much. I also have never understood why people feel the need to make their own products when there are professionals who have done all the homework to come up with products that actually work. So many times I read of someone mixing glycerin with water and not having good results. I had someone try S Curl instead and she was surprised at how well it worked for her. Clearly, for her, glycerin and water were not cutting it. She needed a product that was made with a certain recipe that she couldn't replicate and now she's happy.
Also oils...
Nothing makes my hair hard and dry like oil...not to mention just icky grossly slick and slimy.
I wouldn't be surprised if all the oiling you're doing isn't why your hair is dry. Your scalp produces sebum to moisturize itself and it would take care of the your hair if it were straight but it most certainly takes care of the section close to your strands. If you baggied, you'd find it takes care of more than that. I never use oils and never oil my scalp. My scalp is left clean and free for sebum to flow and do its thang. Baggying encourages this so my scalp is never dry and my hair is always soft even though I don't use anything to moisturize.
There was a time I had hard hair. At the time I used everything under the sun. I joined the forum and started using Creme of Nature Shampoo and Castille and my hair turned into steel wool. Just a hard dry mess that would shrink and be difficult to do anything with. No elasticity...and it'd have this grayish hue. I also tried to go "natural" and use only natural shampoos. I forget which one it was but it was by Aubrey and it made my hair feel as if I coated it with sap.
It just didn't feel clean.
So I stopped the madness and returned to so-called commercial shampoos. I stopped freaking out about being "all natural" and while I do use some natural shampoos like Giovanni 50:50, I also use shampoos like Garnier Fructis, Nexxus Therappe without fear.
I shampoo my hair mid-week using any of the shampoos I have in my collection--all clear shampoos as for me shampooing is mainly for cleaning my scalp and I feel creamy shampoos just coat my scalp
(Giovanni 50:50, Trader Joe's Nourish Spa, Garnier Fructis). I condition after that shampoo (with any conditioner eg Aussie Moist Deeee...p, Organix, Trader Joe's Nourish Spa, Humectress, Pantene, etc). And then I finish my wash with an ACV rinse dunk or spritz. On the weekend, I DC on dry using AO GPB for 15 minutes. I then shampoo, then condition with a moisturizing conditioner, then ACV rinse. Alternatively on the weekend, I'll shampoo first with any of my clear shampoos. DC with Emergencée for 10 minutes. Then I shampoo that off with Nexxus Therappe (I don't apply conditioner to my scalp; I skip an inch from my scalp or so when I apply conditioner, so when washing off with Therappe, I also don't apply that creamy stuff to my scalp). I then follow that with any conditioner usually Humectress and then ACV rinse.
After that I use no other products. I baggy nightly or if wearing a head wrap. My hair is very soft (which could also be because I have fine strands--but I remember a time when it was hard). I never use pure protein on my hair. I believe in simple regimens. If I need to comb my hair (like if it's loose) that is the only time I will use a leave-in and simply because I need some sort of slip for the comb to glide through my hair. And that is when I use S Curl. And my hair becomes like butter. It feels like baby hair when I use S Curl. I don't mind shrinkage so the "moisture" from S Curl doesn't bother me.
Anyway, as you can see, not everything that works for others will work for you.
I find a lot of times that the people who have problems are the people trying to copy others. I honestly think the best thing for you to do is first understand your hair. Read a book on hair and get to know what hair likes or needs. And then from there, don't just do what someone else says worked for her, but look at the things you already have on hand. I'm sure they work for someone here. Find out how that person uses them. Are they things that you believe your hair needs? Like after you understand that your hair needs X, Y, Z...what will that product be bringing to your hair. And now that you know how your hair should respond when it has X, Y, Z...do you find that you get those results? If not, toss it out and try something else. In other words. Do less because if you're doing too much, you will have no idea what's undoing what.
When I joined LHCF and tried to do everything folks were saying, not only did I have a setback, I think I wasted a lot of time. I returned to doing nothing...and I'm still doing nothing. I think watching a lot of videos and reading a lot of blogs also takes one from learning about one's own hair. I think vids and blogs are good once you have your regimen down pat to tweak it a bit or get new styling ideas. But trying to read every blog and watch every video to build a regimen will not only drive you mad but also leave you feeling hopeless.
Anyway, I'm rambling...but what I just wanted to bring to the table is you're getting 1947379277 suggestions from all over and if you apply all of them, you'll be right back where you were. I think you should first learn about hair from a book on black hair or from a website like
P&G The World of Hair and then use that info to get to know your hair and then what it needs and start from there.