Don't Shoot Me Anyone...

[SoAnxious12]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

ms_ Kenesha it all ball downs to what makes you happy. Don't let society dictate your happiness because it's not what you really want to do. In the end no matter what others are doing you'll be the one to live with whatever decision you made. Be happy.

 

[bettydavis]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

Ms K I know how you feel.

I am constantly debating the urge to relax my hair. I go back and forth alot, but I think wearing you hair in a way that makes you feel attractive is the most important thing, be it relaxed or natural. For me, I just feel better with longer hair, I want to see what length I can get to natural. It does take alot of patience though, but extensions really help me along the way.

Good luck with whatever you decide... my advice would be to just be patient right now.

 

[lovelymissyoli]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

Just know if you relax your hair there is no going back to natural. I'm currently debating about continuing to transition because I've wasted so much money on getting my hair done and then having it poof up because of my natural hair. Whatever you decide to do don't worry about what others equate relaxing your hair to or not relaxing your hair to; it's about what works for YOU!

 

[ImPradaModel]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

I think your hot with your natural hair you look way better and I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. I went though this a couple of time and regreted it. Men are men they will aproach you even if you have on sweats and bed head. Be true to youself

ImPradaModel

 

[ms_kenesha]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

Thanks everyone for all of your help. Last night I went home and really thought to myself do I really want to relax my hair or do I just want something to change in my life and the only thing *I* know I can change on my own is my hair.

Truth be told I love my natural hair and I'm probably just frustrated because I wish it were longer.

So, I am not *I Repeat* NOT relaxing my hair. I bought myself The Purpose Driven Life, the Amplified Bible, and I looked at myself in the mirror and said Kenesha you are a sexy *****! And I AM!!!

I will be henna-ing my hair black this weekend at least that way I can feel satisfied with a little change I've made in my hair.

Again thanks everyone, you're all sweethearts

 

[ImPradaModel]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

[ QUOTE ]
ms_kenesha said:
I looked at myself in the mirror and said Kenesha you are a sexy *****! And I AM!!!


[/ QUOTE ]

I do this everyday. don't worry about the length I was in the same boat then BAM I had all this hair

ImPradaModel

 

[soslychic]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

[ QUOTE ]

So, I am not *I Repeat* NOT relaxing my hair. I bought myself The Purpose Driven Life, the Amplified Bible, and I looked at myself in the mirror and said Kenesha you are a sexy *****! And I AM!!!

I will be henna-ing my hair black this weekend at least that way I can feel satisfied with a little change I've made in my hair.

Again thanks everyone, you're all sweethearts

[/ QUOTE ]

VERY PROUD

 

[FlowerHair]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

I'm glad you changed your mind.

I grew up with a mother who re-decorated the whole house every time she needed a change in her life. I think most women are the same, when we need a change we look to the external things that we CAN control. Because, Lord knows, there are plenty of internal things that we cannot change. Or at least it takes a lot of hard work.

On a superficial level, I think all of us (relaxed or natural) want to change our hair style every now and then. There are many ways to mimic a hair style without doing anything drastic, like pressing etc. If you find that you want to stay that way, just do what you need to do to.
It's our hair and our right to change our minds.

 

[ms_kenesha]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

[ QUOTE ]
FlowerHair said:
I'm glad you changed your mind.

I grew up with a mother who re-decorated the whole house every time she needed a change in her life. I think most women are the same, when we need a change we look to the external things that we CAN control. Because, Lord knows, there are plenty of internal things that we cannot change. Or at least it takes a lot of hard work.

On a superficial level, I think all of us (relaxed or natural) want to change our hair style every now and then. There are many ways to mimic a hair style without doing anything drastic, like pressing etc. If you find that you want to stay that way, just do what you need to do to.
It's our hair and our right to change our minds.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, usually what I do is a drastic housecleaning, but that usu. signifies a MAJOR change like someone is getting the AXE after I clean the house.

 

[Tonya]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

I think the reason I jsut colored my hair is because i needed that change...I will tell you again if it makes you feel better...

Kenesha, you are a sexy *****!! And I am too!!!! Sexy B*ith and I am proud!!!

 

[SilkyandSmooth]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

[ QUOTE ]
ms_kenesha said:

Truth be told I love my natural hair and I'm probably just frustrated because I wish it were longer.

So, I am not *I Repeat* NOT relaxing my hair. I bought myself The Purpose Driven Life, the Amplified Bible, and I looked at myself in the mirror and said Kenesha you are a sexy *****! And I AM!!!



[/ QUOTE ]

Good choice!

 

[deborah11]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

I think that u have to decide what works for you and go with that. If you feel attractive and desirable than u will be attractive to others. There is nothing more sexy or attractive as a confident black woman walking with her head held high, whether it be natural or relaxed. i have a girl friend like that and trust me, she will pull them in no matter how she wears her hair. Ms. kenesha, basically, i am suggussting that you have to feel good about yourself and figure out what works for you. You really look cute natural but if you feeel more attractive, confident and acceptable relaxed, than go for it. I remember when I was transitioning many people hated my hair and my father even said that I looked like a "motherless child," but I continued to do what worked for me. I ultimately texturized because I am hair challenged and I actually prefer up do's/ straighter styles and natural hair was not a breeze for me but a major challenge. Think about it, don't rush and make a decision and than do what is right for you. Good luck!

 

[Sweetyb]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

ms Kenesha, thanks so much for sharing your experience, God knows we all go through our own. I have a blurb of when I had mine somewhere in my hair journal. I totally understand how you feel and I'm so glad you've found a new path to follow. As far as hair goes, I felt most undesirable when my hair was short. My face looks best with lengthy and full hair, and that's why I'm here. Hope your henna treatment goes well.

 

[deborah11]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

good for u. hope your henna goes well.

 

[moneychaser]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

[ QUOTE ]
Tonya said:
I think the reason I jsut colored my hair is because i needed that change...I will tell you again if it makes you feel better...

Kenesha, you are a sexy *****!! And I am too!!!! Sexy B*ith and I am proud!!!

[/ QUOTE ]
ME three

We ALL are sexy b*tches

Ms_K I remember telling you when you first cut your hair that it will be long before you know it

Girl just keep your head up we all go through these little bumps along this hair-growth journey.

 

[deeshortesthair]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

I go through the same thing ... now that my hair is finally able to go into a pony(i'll post pics soon} i've dyed it with some crap which is causing breakage in one day, this is the main reason i will not relax my hair I have really fine hair and any major chemical process creates damage, As for the men, maybe you should move to NYC and get involved in the body and soul type social scene ... I've met some damn good men at these events and they do not play games when it comes to their natural women.I did get more attention from the regular "brother" when I blew my twa afro out and these were all types quality ones and thugs... so Maybe before you decide to change your hair braid it for a couple of months with human hair and based upon how you feel with those long flowing locks you may be able to make a decision.
good luck

 

[MissJ]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

Well, I admire all natural women for having the guts to cut all their hair off and learning how to care for their natural hair. If I could do that, I would, but right now I can't. I know that it's less acceptable and that with men the first step is attraction, but I think that you're really attractive even with the natural hair. I have a question. Would you have gone natural if you had not been engaged but still on the dating scene?

 

[Valerie]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

Miss K, I have seen your hair pictures and you look very lovely. It does take awhile for you to get into your hair. It took me about one year and I have been natural for nearly 2 years and six months. When the right man sees you, he will fall in love with your style, your essence and he will be attracted to how you look. Many times, these men who 'hit' on us are not worthy of us. Focus on looking after your hair, making yourself look good. Give yourself some time and you will find your hair easier to look after. Your hair is so lovely.

 

[ms_kenesha]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

[ QUOTE ]
MissJ said:
Well, I admire all natural women for having the guts to cut all their hair off and learning how to care for their natural hair. If I could do that, I would, but right now I can't. I know that it's less acceptable and that with men the first step is attraction, but I think that you're really attractive even with the natural hair. I have a question. Would you have gone natural if you had not been engaged but still on the dating scene?

[/ QUOTE ]

Honestly, no. I would have maybe gone the braid transition route & went natural that way, so I would have a security blanket. When I BC'd my fiance was my security blanket, but alas no more. But I'm making myself & God my security blanket *slowly but surely* because I will never leave me & neither will He!

 

[Lindy]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

MsK,

Sorry, I know I'm a bit late on this thread, but I still wanna put my 2 cents in!!

I think it would be a real shame for you to get a relaxer now, after you cut off all that long, healthy hair in a quest to become natural!!

This is precisely the reason that I would never do a big chop. I'd be too afraid that I'd end up hating it, and relaxing again anyhow!!

I know that you may just be going through a phase... and I think you should stick it out. Try to remember all the reasons you had for wanting to be natural!!!

 

[Netta1]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

I'm glad you decided to stay on the nappy side, its a journey girl enjoy every stage!

 

[ms_kenesha]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

BUMPING for Xerxes. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[sunshine91496]

Re: Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...

Just some thoughts on the subject. I've been wondering about going back, not to a relaxer but to a texturizer. I was supposed to go to Curve Salon this past July, but I couldn't get an appt when I was up in NYC. ANyways My family hates my hair two of my aunts bribed me to go get it relaxed Of course I took the money but did not get it relaxed. Everytime I think about relaxing/texturizing. I run my hands through my hair and say to myself I would be crazy to go back. So far here are my reasons:

1) I am in DC and there are a lot of cool Natural Hair Salons

2) I have mastered the art of the two-strand twist out

3) I have found the perfect products that don't give me the crynchy greasy feeling

4) I kind of like that I have to defend myself to my family. I am a lawyer so I always like a good fight

5) I actually get a lot more compliments since going natural. I think it was like when I had a really short relaxer cut (the old jada smith style) I had to be more confident b/c I was so self conscuous about my short hair. In the end, I was probably hit on the most in my life during that period.

6) My hair is growing like crazy. I can't wait to see what it will look like by January 05

7) It just looks feels healthy. When I had a relaxer, the ends were thinning, I was breaking and shedding all the time, even when I regularly went to the salon for treatments etc. Plus the fact, that unless you have really long or really short hair, a lot of the relaxer styles look the same on everyone (which can get really boring).


8) And finally, and most importantly, I just look damn good with the natural hair.


Don't get me wrong there are days that I miss straight hair, but its usally when I'm picturing with myself with a new touch up. I mean I never picutre myself 4-6 weeks in when there is a lot of new growth and I have to wear it in a bun style. Plus I figure, if I really want to wear it straight I'll just get it pressed at salon.

As for men, my deal with black guys has always been kind of weird, so I really don't even think about them too much

At work, its mostly the relaxed heads in mangement who make a big deal of it. Most other people just give compliments.