Does you mom regret ever giving u a relaxer?

[lamorenita02907]

Naturals does your mom show or express signs of regrets about ever giving you a relaxer? My mom is now seeing my progress as a natural and is in awwww...she says she should have never put a relaxer in my hair ever! ANd I feel so bad because I feel that she shouldn't have either but I don't say it to her. I know she feels guilty of my 24 years battling with my hair. But it's ok, that's all she knew and thought she was doing the right thing. Has anyone else experienced this?

 

[Ronnieaj]

Yep. My mom tells me that all the time. But I get why she did it. Washing my hair was sheer utter misery, and she literally had to wait for me to cry myself to sleep to do my hair. And then we'd get it pressed and I'd haul off and jump in the pool ! She did what she thought was best for both of us. She's told me on more than one occasion that if they had the products then that they have now, she never would have relaxed me. She's actually talked about going natural now because of the products available to naturals (and she's 64 this year).

 

[lamorenita02907]

Yea my mom Hasn't relaxed since December..I think she's secretly transitioning but doesn't want to admit it lol. too funny ... but i'm proud of her and will support her through her journey..i'm very excited!

 

[destine2grow]

I am not natural but I am transitioning. I must say that my mom does not regret giving me an relaxer. She said that the relaxer fit her lifestyle and still does. She is always on the go so...

 

[chantall214]

My mom has never said she regrets it, but i never asked her if she did so.....She always gives me compliments though on how good it looks and how long its gotten.

 

[iri9109]

i dont think so...i asked my mom why did she even let me get a relaxer, and she said b/c i asked for it...which is true, but i asked for so many things back then that i never got, so why did she have to cave in and let me get that?

 

[BeautyGoesDutch]

Yep my mom does,she always says she wish I would have stayed natural my whole life. She says'' I wish I would have not done that, you know I would not have done anything to hurt you.;; I'm like momma I know you would never hurt me and it was the 90's and early 2000's and they did not have alot of products for natural hair, My sister got relaxed because her hair was so so so curly like 3a hair they it was the 80's and my sister says that they definitely did not have products. I don't regret getting a relaxer though because I enjoyed it I just wish I would have stopped relaxing when I got in jr high tho.

 

[Qtee]

No..why should she..she did what was common.. she had a relaxer and when I came of age she allowed me to get one....now neither one of us has a relaxer...

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[LilMissRed]

I doubt it. Although Ive never asked. Whats the point? Yanno. I can say I wont regret relaxing my dd's hair..cuz its not gonna happen...not on my watch anyway

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[MsLi@512]

at 14-15 my mom just gave me what I asked, thinking it was the best thing for me at the time. It wasn't the worst thing she could have ever let me do. so, no biggie.

 

[wrapngo]

My mother regrets giving me a relaxer but for different reasons....We both transition for 13 months together and did our big chop on 04/05/2011. My mother loves her natural hair and has more confidence in herself than she ever has my entire life. She has called me everyday for the last 1.5 week and told me how much she loves her hair and can't believe all these years she has been hiding it under a perm. I don't think any mother should feel bad about giving their daughter a perm especially in the 70-90s because that is what was acceptable and the norm in society. We didn't have the internet, forums, products, knowledge and support group that we have now. I remember when Soul Train dancers were all natural (Afros, Afro puffs, (2) french braids, twist etc) then we went to the perm era. If you wanted to be considered in style you had to keep up with the changes. It is no different with Facebook, texting, ipod & cellphones you go along with the times.

 

[JayAnn0513]

She does but at the time it was just what you did. My grandmother relaxed her 5 daughters in the 60 and all if those daughters relaxed their daughters. Now there are more naturals/ transitioners in my family than relaxed heads. My granny is a natural now too!

 

[Priss Pot]

Nope. She would still put one in my hair now if she could, smh.

 

[destine2grow]

prisspot your siggy is so fierce! Will you start back doing youtube vids?

 

[Moca]

Yes my mom feels really bad. She sees how patient I am with my hair now and she wishes she was as patient. She also feels bad because I'm 24 and just now seeing my natural texture for the first time.... Plus perming my hair was something that she decided for me and not what I decided for myself... Since I'm natural again she feels better now lol...

 

[LoveLiLi]

My mother regrets relaxing my hair when I was young. She cut my relaxed hair off a couple of years after the first application and grew out my natural hair (or rather I did since she bc'd me and left me to my own devices at 11 yrs old ).

I can't even count how many times she looked at my hair over the years and said "I could just kick myself for giving you a relaxer! Your hair was so long and beautiful".

Mind you, my relaxed hair was in great condition since she always had good hair advice, but it was never as long and thick as my natural hair had been.

I can't be too hard on her though, she had three daughters and she grew all of our hair to waist-length. She dealt with different hair types (3b; 3c/4a; 4b) and lots of whining and complaining because we wanted to go outside and play on wash day , but she kept our hair healthy and in pretty styles.

She relaxed my hair as a last resort in a really tough situation, so I'm not mad at her at all.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

Yeah, she told me of her regrets when I informed her of my transition to natural. She wished she never permitted me to do so.

 

[tatiana]

No my mom does not regret giving me a relaxer. It was the norm and besides my mom gave me one when I was 14 or 13 so I thought I was gown when I got one. Besides my natural hair looks like a retro jheri curl so I can easily imagine the jokes I would have heard if I went to school with my natural hair.

 

[Maracujá]

I don't know I've never asked her. But I do know one thing: she doesn't want me to relax my hair EVER again, that she did tell me!

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

Well being that I begged her to do it, no lol. She isn't that big on the hair thing. I mean she is MBL relaxed( coarse 3b) now but she wants to cut it into a Halle Berry cut. Before she grew her hair out to MBL she had BC'd and went natural for awhile. She forever changing. She grew up during the 70s so she had her a fro she tried to prevent from flopping, cornrows, pressed.She has done every hair style under the sun. So she doesn't care. My daddy didn't understand why I wanted one because he thought I had pretty hair. Well, a lot of people wondered why I got one lol. Well simply put, one of my friends who had moved from New York had a relaxer. I liked how stretched out and long her hair looked so i wanted one(I never got my hair pressed). After my mom kept saying she would think about it every time I asked, she finally caved in lol.

Luckily my family never made a big deal about hair. And if they did it was about us not really needing anything.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Well my mom has nothing to regret, she always maintained a relaxer free zone in our house and told me my hair was beautiful every chance she got. It was actually my aunt that did it the first time and I was like 14. I was the one that begged and pleaded for it (caved to peer pressure) but my aunt regularly expresses guilt because she watched my hair go from lush and remarkable to mediocre.

To most black girls in my school, my bsb sometimes apl length relaxed hair with decent thickness was actually nice but everyone in my family knew the true potential of my hair so there was no comparison. Thankfully, that was only a brief 4 Yr period of my life that I was relaxed.

Now everyone loves the fact that I'm natural and my hair is thriving

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[Distorted Barbie]

Not at all. She just asked me when my phase will be over...smh 2 years post-relaxer

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[somewhereinbtwn]

No, but she should! That, and ever making me feel bad about my hair in general. *Sigh* Just got in another "discussion" with my mom aka her nagging me to straighten my hair. It's been six years you would think she would be use to it by now!

 

[PennyK]

My mom was the one who tried to talk me out of it. But I wanted one so bad back in high school. So I'm the one who regrets it I've come a long way though, only the last 3-4 inches of my hair are relaxed

 

[Fyne]

No she doesnt regret relaxing my hair...(I'm not natural btw) my mum started relaxing my hair when I was 5yrs old as she said I would cry so heartbreakingly she couldnt handle it. Even though my hair is healthy relaxed I wish I could have had a choice back then and know the information about hair care I know now.

I always discuss it with her she is a trained stylist and was taught to care for hair very different. She used to tell me my hair would break because im washing it too often and when I explained about cowashing she almost fainted but she's slowly getting there seeing that my hair is very healthy.

 

[Oasis]

i've never asked but i don't think so. she felt that she didn't have a choice and i don't really blame her. my hair, relaxed or natural, is a handful.

 

[HE_Blesses_MY_Tresses]

H3LL yeah she does and I regret begging her for one. My hair was so long and we had a garden tub that I used to try to " swim " in and when it was wet it used to reach down my back but then curl up so no one could see the real length. So my sister and I begged her for a relaxer and she finally caved. it was downhill from there... I font care what my daughter says or how hard she begs, I will never give her a relaxer....