Does anyone else here hate the term "talking"

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FemmeFatale

Well-Known Member
in reference to dating? It irks me to no end. What does that even really mean, especially for an adult :lol:? I just think that it's a juvenile term reserved for 14 year olds that cannot afford to or aren't allowed to go out on dates..you stay up all night on the phone "talking" to your boo.

As an adult to use the word "talking" is just stupid to me. To me it means you're wasting time letting a man or woman blow hot air into your ears without even going on dates :lol:. I prefer dating, whether it's casual or exclusive. I have no time for negros that want to "talk" :lol:

Am I the only one that hates this term?
 
Lol, I don't haaate the term, but I did stop using it after like...age 20. It does seem juvenile. Its like, if were involved, you're taking me on dates. If we have just had a few phone calls, I hope a date is coming soon, or our phone call sessions will be coming to an end soon. So for me, either were dating, casually dating, or just talked on the phone a few times. There is no 'talking'.

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I never knew what that meant in high school. Or the phrase 'get up". I would look at boys like they were idiots when they would say, "Yo, can I get up?" Get up where, fool? The crap are you talking about? No.
 
Doesnt really matter to me. I dont use it anymore. Sometimes people use it to reference the stage btwn meeting and dating. Especially if they arent actually dating them yet.
 
When I've heard it used, it seemed to mean that the person does not want to claim anything because they are keeping their options open. And they dont even want it to be any kind of serious.
 
I guess saying "talking" when you're past 20 is like also saying "go together."

I don't know what "can I get up" means though. We didn't use that phrase.
 
poochie167 said:
Doesnt really matter to me. I dont use it anymore. Sometimes people use it to reference the stage btwn meeting and dating. Especially if they arent actually dating them yet.
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I don't know if I've heard anyone use this lately but this is what I thought it meant.

The older I get the time between us meeting and our actually dating gets longer, if it ever happens at all. Don't know what you call that stage. Talking works for me :ohwell:
 
I hate "talking" with a passion. Talking better mean what happens pre-date. I've met this guy, and I've been talking to him for a bit, and we have a date coming up blah blah.

No date=no talking. Once we go on a date, it's this guy I've gone on a date (or a few) with. After that it's that we're dating. Then, it's we're in a relationship.

I also strongly dislike the actual act of "talking" to a guy. Why are grown adults with jobs staying up until 5am on the phone talking? why not go on a date for that??
 
I know folks that are having "sexual relations" and still use the word "talking." I asked them, "at what stage are you dating or have a relationship if you're sleeping with him?
 
I don't hate it, I like it. Call me juvenile, but unless I'm engaged I don't like the pressure of titles so even when I'm in a relationship, I usually refer to the nature of the relationship as "talkin" or "chilln."
 
Talking is not the same as dating cause there are no dates involved. People make up a lot of terms to cover all the ambiguity these days.

ETA: The time between meeting and pre-date should be two weeks or less. Dudes are so lazy these days. If you too busy to "date" then I'm too busy to "talk."

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I say i'm talking to someone. For me, all it means is that we are in that temporary stage right before dating. We both know that it's a "more than friends" situation but we are talking to each like friends would. Just getting to know each other with no stress. No sex or any sexual activities are involved.

In fact, i'm talking to someone right now. :lol:
 
It does sound juvenile but I prefer talking = dating rather than

dating=sex with no strings attached

friends=sex buddies

uncle=momma's/auntie's boyfriend

so I pick my battles....

Someone asked me what do I call a person who I would these things with like they were gonna trip me up....what I call them is their name...why do people feel the need to give someone a title...who does it make feel better?
 
CarLiTa said:
I hate "talking" with a passion. Talking better mean what happens pre-date. I've met this guy, and I've been talking to him for a bit, and we have a date coming up blah blah.

No date=no talking. Once we go on a date, it's this guy I've gone on a date (or a few) with. After that it's that we're dating. Then, it's we're in a relationship.

I also strongly dislike the actual act of "talking" to a guy. Why are grown adults with jobs staying up until 5am on the phone talking? why not go on a date for that??
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well it depends on the situation right? i've seen instances where people have started talking to someone from another state or to someone from another school (in another state). yes, they can go on a date but it would have to come at a later time b/c of distance or during school breaks. so in the meantime, you talk about random things. you keep in light but you still manage to get the person a bit. not as much while dating but that'll happen soon enough.

I don't agree with the whole staying up until 5am however. I say if you're just in that talking phase, don't give too much too soon.
 
janiebaby said:
why do people feel the need to give someone a title...who does it make feel better?
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It defines what behaviors are 'appropriate' and let's others know what's appropriate.

Example:

I'm dating a guy and the first time I go over to his place I see a big portrait of him and another woman. I might ask why he didn't tell me he was married or dating someone else. He goes, "I don't, that's my jumpoff." In our understanding of what a jumpoff is, would that be appropriate?


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BEAUTYU2U said:
It defines what behaviors are 'appropriate' and let's others know what's appropriate.

Example:

I'm dating a guy and the first time I go over to his place I see a big portrait of him and another woman. I might ask why he didn't tell me he was married or dating someone else. He goes, "I don't, that's my jumpoff." In our understanding of what a jumpoff is, would that be appropriate?


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A title can be helpful if a guy is approaching me and he wants to know what my relationship is with other guys. If he ask, then I use a title to describe the level. When I was younger it was simpler. I was usually dating someone. Now guys get grouped into categories.

I do say talking, because I can talk to several guys at one time, but I'm not dating any of them even if I have gone on 1 or more dates with them. A guy has to be promoted to dating. We are dating when I say we are dating. Otherwise we are just talking or we are friends or we just know each other.
 
barbiesocialite said:
I don't hate it, I like it. Call me juvenile, but unless I'm engaged I don't like the pressure of titles so even when I'm in a relationship, I usually refer to the nature of the relationship as "talkin" or "chilln."
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You? "Chillin"?????? I'm shocked! :blush:

:lol:
 
Some people equate the word dating to a having a relationship & sex...and that is NOT always the case.

So i see why folks say "talking". Because yall are still in the getting-to-know-one-another stage, or havent started dating on a regular basis. People will always try to assume your relationship status. Ever notice that?

I know folks who say "talking" to keep others out their business. You say "dating" then your friends & family want a full on interview about the guy & they go around telling people that you are together when you are NOT. You still dating and gathering "data" about the person or just talking to see if you even like the dude.
 
barbiesocialite said:
I don't hate it, I like it. Call me juvenile, but unless I'm engaged I don't like the pressure of titles so even when I'm in a relationship, I usually refer to the nature of the relationship as "talkin" or "chilln."
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This doesn't make much sense to me, you know you'll have a title once you're married right :lol:
 
I don't know, to me a man is either interested in you or not..this preliminary phase to dating is just silly to me. I've seen many "talking" scenarios drag out for months and months and then the woman usually gets upset that the man won't claim her.
 
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