Does anyone else feel this way????

[stacia]

Ladies I need some feed back. My hair is really coming along, thanks to all of you. I'm about an inch away from brastrap and I should be there when I relax again in about 4 weeks. The thing is when I look at other people's hair and even though I know in reality my hair is just as long or longer I picture everyone hair longer than my own. I don't wear my hair down and I think I have "hair phobia"
I think I'm a perfectionist and if my hair isn't perfect then I don't want to take the chance and wear it down.

I know it's stupid but can anyone relate???

 

[blue_flower]

I feel the same way you do. Actually, I've been feeling that way for a long time. When I was in high school most of the girls had long hair. Mine was only shoulder length and very damaged from chemicals. I told myself that since my hair was so messed up, there was no point of my trying to wear it done and style it. So I wore it pulled back in a bun for 3-4 years.

Today it is different. My hair is healthier than it was back than. It's very thick and quite long (I'm very close to bra strap). However, I still don't wear my hair down. Not even occassionally. I just have the feeling that my hair still isn't good enough to wear down yet and that I should wait before I do. Quite a few times I've worn my hair down, like a few years ago, and I felt like everyone was staring me, studying my hair. I didn't even feel like myself. I guess because I've worn it pulled back for so long.

For some reason I feel as though if I wear my hair down, then I'll be exposing a vulnerable part of myself to people. My aunt is constantly asking to see how long my hair is and one time she tried to take my bun down without my permission. I felt kind of violated when she tried to do that.

I don't think your question is stupid at all. I have social anxiety, so I think my problem may be more serious than yours. I don't know you personally, but you seem to be self-conscious about your hair but not to the extant as I am. I'm working on it though. This spring I've told myself that I'm going to wear my hair down a few times.

 

[CrownnGlori]

I can relate Blue Flower, my hair is special to me. I really am depressed if it is not in good condition. It is so precious to me I don't like leaving it vunerable to other peoples opinion.
I have discovered that it really is lovely based on the positive comments received.
Remember people sometimes stare at something beautiful because of shock almost. Can't put it into words how lovely it is.....

 

[aqualung]

I can relate.

I forget about the length of my hair when I've had it in a bun for weeks. This low hair-esteem generally coincides with being 8 weeks post-touchup and not having many styling options besides the bun -- kinda like NOW. *sigh*

Just maintain until your next touchup. Don't think about hair too much. Keep your chin up. It's not your life, it's just your hair.

 

[serena]

From what I can see in your albums, you have no reason to be insecure about wearing your hair open, Blue Flower. It's truly lovely!

 

[Supergirl]

I think it's easy to "forget" how much progress you've made and actually remember that your hair is pretty long.

 

[CocoaCure]

My hair isn't even all that long at all (only 4 inches past shoulder, but I too feel weird if people stare, especially if I don't feel "stare worthy". Weird huh?? I get lots of compliments, but sometimes even the compliments make me feel a little "looked at". I don't know. Heck, I ought to be happy to get them and I AM........I guess sometimes you can feel a little too "examined". Supergirl, do you wear your hair in a bun most of the time or do you wear it down mostly? I can only imagine the stares and comments (hopefully mostly positive - they SHOULD be positive) that you get!!

 

[Tracy]

I can definitely relate. For me though it goes beyond length - it becomes an issue of shine, health, movement, body, vitality. I also HATE the color of my hair right now. I feel like I'm "not me". Looking in the mirror and styling my hair is torture some mornings.

If I am having a low hair esteem moment (love that

) not only do I want it up, but I want it OFF. I have been this close to cutting my hair to my earlobes. Because I feel it's not growing. Because I feel I've caused irreparable problems that I'll never be able to bounce back from. Because I think it's just not as pretty as other heads I see (Adrienne, Leejure, Bevvie, CaramelHonee, Meeinzfuture, SUPERGIRL - whose hair specifically makes me want to have my head shaved WEEKLY just to start over so I can ever hope to have hair like that

).

But when I wear my hair down, I also gets stares, and comments, and people wondering how, and what, and can they....(and of course I share

)

That actually makes me feel better. It's when I'm home alone in the mirror that I have issues. I've chalked it up to being a little extra. but I forgive me, put my hair into a ponytail or bun and roll out. What else can you do?

 

[ladylibra_30]

tracy said-SUPERGIRL - whose hair specifically makes me want to have my head shaved WEEKLY just to start over so I can ever hope to have hair like that ).

now this IS what I can relate to....my hair is healthy and pretty BUT there are times that i think to myself that it can be EVEN more healthy since i really KNOW what i'm doing now! i also think that if i cut it all off and start over i can do RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING....BUT that's what DUSTING is for, huh?

 

[skegeesmb]

[ QUOTE ]
blue_flower said:
I feel the same way you do. Actually, I've been feeling that way for a long time. When I was in high school most of the girls had long hair. Mine was only shoulder length and very damaged from chemicals. I told myself that since my hair was so messed up, there was no point of my trying to wear it done and style it. So I wore it pulled back in a bun for 3-4 years.

Today it is different. My hair is healthier than it was back than. It's very thick and quite long (I'm very close to bra strap). However, I still don't wear my hair down. Not even occassionally. I just have the feeling that my hair still isn't good enough to wear down yet and that I should wait before I do. Quite a few times I've worn my hair down, like a few years ago, and I felt like everyone was staring me, studying my hair. I didn't even feel like myself. I guess because I've worn it pulled back for so long.

For some reason I feel as though if I wear my hair down, then I'll be exposing a vulnerable part of myself to people. My aunt is constantly asking to see how long my hair is and one time she tried to take my bun down without my permission. I felt kind of violated when she tried to do that.

I don't think your question is stupid at all. I have social anxiety, so I think my problem may be more serious than yours. I don't know you personally, but you seem to be self-conscious about your hair but not to the extant as I am. I'm working on it though. This spring I've told myself that I'm going to wear my hair down a few times.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're hair looks really similar to mine when I was natural. When my hair dried it shrunk up like that. It's really amazing that I found someone whose hair really looked like mine when I was natural. I read that you are texturized, so I skipped my next question. My hair looks a lot like Crysdon's hair now that it's texturized.

But I swear if your hair isn't a spitting image of my hair natural!!!

 

[patticake]

i didn't understand this post until a few weeks ago when i saw my friend. she's been away while she was pregnant and she came back with brastrap length hair. her hair has always been a lil about shoulder length for the longest. i was hit hard with a lil jealous while eyeing her long shiny hair. after that i've been wearing my hair in buns everyday. which is something i hardly every do for more the twice a week, if that much. i was just used to having the longest hair in my social circle and now i feel like maybe my hair isn't good enough anymore. i don't know, i guess i should feel silly about worrying so much about it.

 

[blue_flower]

Thank you, serena. I'm going to wait until the spring to wear my hair out. If I don't get lazy, hopefully I'll have reached my hair goal by then.

 

[blue_flower]

skegeesmb: I wish I could get my hair as straight as yours when you used to flat iron and roller set your natural hair. When I use a flat iron on my hair the ends feel crispy and when I rollerset the roots are still puffy. I'm probably not doing something right.

You know, sometimes it feels like my hair isn't texturized. It's easier to comb and the frizz is greatly reduced, but it's still so thick and it shrinks! Maybe it's the new growth that's causing the major shrinkage.

 

[localhost]

Yep, I can relate. I can only wear my hair in a bun, and I refuse to wear it out after what happened a couple of weeks ago...

I decided to wash and flat iron my hair one Saturday and I became disappointed with the length and the way it looked. It looked lifeless to me, kept getting in my face, on my lip gloss, etc. My friends and family said that my hair looked long and healthy, and wearing it down made me look YOUNGER (I'm only 21, but with my hair down, they say I look 17 or 18).

I was still unconvinced; in my eyes, my hair wasn't worthy to be worn down. I think I have a complex - I won't be truly able to wear it down AND BE HAPPY ABOUT IT until it is well past brastrap, almost elbow length. *sigh*

I ended up CW my hair and putting it up in a bun only after 4 hours. Sad.

 

[Boadicea]

Oddly enough, I remember sitting in class and wanting long hair like the other girls whose ahir was bra clasp length. Meanwhile my own hair was past my waist but I never noticed it because it was always in a protective style. Whenever my mom would do my hair, I would never pay attention to it because I was such a tomboy so I didn't really care. It was up so often, and because I wasn't the one taking care of it, I never really saw my hair. It was always up and behind me so I didn't really have a reference.

You just may not be used to having your hair down all the time like before.