Evolving78
Well-Known Member
Yeah just look for a conditioner that will work well with heat styling.
Does Anyone Else Feel Like They Cant Manage Their Hair Without Heat Or Chemicals?
- Thread starter Napp
- Start date
Ipanema
Well-Known Member
Two-strand twists with some of the hair pulled loose, some of the twists fat, some of them skinny--kind of wild. At night I sleep with the hair in a high ponytail with a satin scarf around the edges. I don't worry about tangles. Locs let me know that it takes a long time for something to be permanently tangled.
I've been transitioning for a year and I have to admit I hate the work that goes into it. I decided 2 days ago that once I reached my hair goal and finally chop the relaxed ends I would be back on this board asking how to texlax. If texlaxed hair is still to much I will go fully back to texturizing.
I wanted to be one of those naturals that was so happy flaunting my natural hair and hollering about how I would never go back to the creamy crack but Im really sad to admit that I don't like being natural. It really hurts my heart to say that. I dismissed these feelings because I thought it had to do with dealing with 2 textures but I had to come to the realization it's just not for me. My hair has never been this long even as a kid so the natural thing is working for growth but its just not for me.
I wanted to be one of those naturals that was so happy flaunting my natural hair and hollering about how I would never go back to the creamy crack but Im really sad to admit that I don't like being natural. It really hurts my heart to say that. I dismissed these feelings because I thought it had to do with dealing with 2 textures but I had to come to the realization it's just not for me. My hair has never been this long even as a kid so the natural thing is working for growth but its just not for me.
NaturalShe94
Well-Known Member
I once felt this way. I am not a type 4 but please don't make me feel that I can't relate... Just throwing that in there... I would straighten my hair every morning and everytime I washed it I HAD to blow it out... I thought I simply couldn't handle my natural hair, but, truth became it was because I didn't know how.... Once you know how to manage your hair, your hair will surprise you. I use to cry because I couldn't wear a wash n go or style my hair natural or even comb it out. Then suddenly I went two years natural, no heat. But, it, wasn't because I wanted to go natural, it was because I didnt have the time to blow dry anymore. I would wash it every few months and it was back in a bun or curly flip up. Then one day my friend decided she wanted to straighten my hair and I let her, my hair was at my hips. I didnt even know I could achieve that length, but it simply came from using no heat. It was damaged at the ends of course because of past overly using heat, but, when I went completely went natural, it grew like a weed. All I had to do was leave it alone. You CAN manage your hair, you just have to know what works for you. me and my sister have different moms. She is in the 4 range, she went from relaxed to natural. She has been natural for 5 years, she is waist length now. I remember her being relaxed and I have never seen her hair past shoulder length when she was relaxed.
VictoriousBrownFlower
Well-Known Member
I think it's okay to not be able to handle natural hair. If it doesn't work with your lifestyle,or styling needs then do what works for you. I think doing a chemical process like bkt or relaxers is better than heat everyday though. Don't try to stay natural when you don't like it simply because you feel you need to for whatever reason. Do what is easiest to care for, for you.
YvetteWithJoy
On break
Agreed 100%.
I felt guilty when I was frustrated with my texture when I was LEARNING how to handle it. I felt like I was giving off anti-natural, anti-type4, or even anti-black vibes.
But I would NEVER have put that on someone else: make them feel that to simply be frustrated with their texture was a problem.
I am both ridiculously excited about my natural hair and disappointed that it does not fall around my face for length and framing. Chemicals could "help" with this, but so does styling. I will avoid chemicals because that is causing my hair to thrive again. Also, my fine hair is SUPER FLAT when relaxed.
I've seen some GREAT texlaxed and relaxed hair.
VictoriousBrownFlower
Well-Known Member
I would never make someone feel guilty about their hair decisions. I'm not a natural nazi and never have been. When natural hair started becoming more popular it was very divided between the relaxed/natural community. It seems to have calmed down though over the yrs.
I've seen some beautiful relaxed/texlaxed hair too. I appreciate pretty hair period. I see hair as an expression of your style and lifestyle. I don't see hair as this deep thing... Never have.
We are not one size fits all and never will be. I don't see frustration with your hair as anti anything. Everyones journey is different. Do what's best for you.
MysTori
Well-Known Member
I think having locs in the past helped me realize that my hair didn't need to be protected so much. I don't even use conditioner. I wash with Head & Shoulders shampoo, and apply coconut oil. Then I blow dry it by holding the end taut and going slowly from root to end. At that point, it is stretched, and I can do whatever to it. In the mornings, it gets damp in the shower, so I use the blow dryer to dry & stretch it and make the hair fall in the direction I want it to go.
The only thing is, I try not to ever use a comb. With stretched hair, shed strands fall out easier without getting knotted up into the other hair.
I also use a bonnet dryer sometimes.
I'm going to try that blow-dry technique without the comb
I dislike air-drying sometimes. I've been sick and really just forgot about my hair (put in bun and done) for almost 9 months now, so I'm going to transition again but without the big chop. I've decided to take my hair care back to when my mom did my hair. Wash, apply grease/Softee, light blowdry or airdry in taut ponytails, and electric straightening comb for the new growth. My hair has never been so moist and easy to handle/manage. I was so busy buying and using all the products recommended on the board, I just skipped over the basics. I'm glad for this thread though. I don't believe heat is bad if used sparingly. I'm using heat once a week right now, then soon I'll push it to every two weeks and eventually once a month.
Last edited:
charmtreese
Well-Known Member
I don't think the OP is a type 4...
whiteoleander91
stay at your best ♥
I don't see anything wrong with doing what you need to do keep your hair from taking over your life and stressing you out. I have vowed to myself recently that anything I do to/for my hair has to fall within specific parameters:
Can't take forever
Blow drying can't take longer than 30 minutes. Same for flat ironing. (1hr total heat styling). If detangling is taking me longer than 10 minutes max, something will change. Wash and goes can't take longer than 10-15mins max. Or else it is too much effort (for me!!).
My hair WILL feel good and smell good
I absolutely refuse to have crunchy, sticky, or otherwise untouchable hair. I refuse to use a hair product that makes my hair smell bad or that is overly fragranced.
My hair will not dictate my life
I cannot live my life around my hair. I cannot live my life from my bathroom sink or shower. My hair is a part of my basic up keep and grooming, and that's it. I cannot schedule my life around wash days, deep conditioning, detangling. No ma'am.
This list encompasses all of the things that stress me the fluff out lol. But no more!!
Simply put, my hair WILL be quick and easy because I will no longer settle for anything less. I will change my Haircare to fit MY needs, not my life to fit my hair's needs. If that means blow drying and flat ironing, then that is what I will do. No shame over here!!
*please note that I am ONLY speaking for myself. This is not condemnation or a passive aggressive dig at anyone. This is about what I can and cannot tolerate. I have a lot of feelings on this subject, obviously
Can't take forever
Blow drying can't take longer than 30 minutes. Same for flat ironing. (1hr total heat styling). If detangling is taking me longer than 10 minutes max, something will change. Wash and goes can't take longer than 10-15mins max. Or else it is too much effort (for me!!).
My hair WILL feel good and smell good
I absolutely refuse to have crunchy, sticky, or otherwise untouchable hair. I refuse to use a hair product that makes my hair smell bad or that is overly fragranced.
My hair will not dictate my life
I cannot live my life around my hair. I cannot live my life from my bathroom sink or shower. My hair is a part of my basic up keep and grooming, and that's it. I cannot schedule my life around wash days, deep conditioning, detangling. No ma'am.
This list encompasses all of the things that stress me the fluff out lol. But no more!!
Simply put, my hair WILL be quick and easy because I will no longer settle for anything less. I will change my Haircare to fit MY needs, not my life to fit my hair's needs. If that means blow drying and flat ironing, then that is what I will do. No shame over here!!
*please note that I am ONLY speaking for myself. This is not condemnation or a passive aggressive dig at anyone. This is about what I can and cannot tolerate. I have a lot of feelings on this subject, obviously
NaturalShe94
Well-Known Member
Even better, I only threw that in there because Ive had conversations with other naturals trying to give them tips and tricks on hair care and then was told "youre not apart of this conversation" or that I "cant relate" ...
Napp
Ms. Nobody
I consider my natural hair to be mostly 4a with some 3c. It's very tightly coiled when it's virgin.
MysTori
Well-Known Member
OP has 3s and 4s covered
But thanks for sharing that. I'm 4a also, so I can definitely use any additional tips you share in this thread/forum. Evolving78
Well-Known Member
People should do whatever they wanna do with their hair. If somebody is struggling and feels using heat will be more beneficial for them, then so be it. Proper use and techique is the key. What work for you, may not work for someone else. You don't sound like you have a very good relationship with heat. Others thrive from using heat. You didn't, so therefore you can't relate. That's logical from your statement. Heat, or the way you used it was bad for you. Not so for others.
larry3344
Well-Known Member
refreshing. Not all natural hair textures are created equal. Like skin some people need to put in more work than others. Acknowledging it and finding solutions isn't the same thing as being anti-type 4 or pusher of good hair. Or else, we would not have the multitudes of hair tools/methods/techniques to improve hair quality. I am glad more of us are moving away from the natural fanaticism and more so to individualized hair care.
As for me I did the keratin treatment for exactly that reason. Too many splits, single strand knots, low definition and dry hair which means breakage.
As for me I did the keratin treatment for exactly that reason. Too many splits, single strand knots, low definition and dry hair which means breakage.
Last edited:
Autumn~Tint~Of~Gold
Rocking the Casbah
I wouldn't say I can't manage it. I'd just say I prefer how my hair looks straightened as opposed to curly.
But I hate how straightening requires me to be a slave to my hair so I'm losing either way lol.
But I hate how straightening requires me to be a slave to my hair so I'm losing either way lol.
NaturalShe94
Well-Known Member
Understandable, but OP mentioned crying over not being able to do her natural hair or it not looking right and I'm just giving my experience over it being the same way for me at one point. I'd tear up as well over my natural hair being too much to handle or not looking how I want it to look, as I mentioned. Therefore, I am giving my opinion on not to give up on her natural hair just yet because I know the feeling. Just giving a bit of hope based on my experience. I am not saying not to use heat or completely being against heat. I still use heat for styling sometimes because sometimes I simply want a straighter look. However, I know how to use it now to not damage my strands. But, hair care was the focus, not styling, so I related based on the struggle she may be facing caring for her hair in a natural state and how stressful it may be before knowing how to properly care for it. If that still doesn't work then that is absolutely fine, by all means do what works, but, it was my opinion, my experience and my advice. Not once did I say "dont use heat" ... The sum of my paragraph was to basically say "I know how you feel, I've felt the sameway, don't give up yet!"
Similar threads
