Do you try to educate others or shrug them off?

[Leslie_C]

I have a friend whose hair is tore up from the floor up. Its really short and damaged, yet she doesnt want to cut it. First of all she doesnt have anything to lose by cutting it and it would help her make a fresh start. Its really dull and dry with a lot of breakage and split ends. Plus she perms her hair EVERY 4 WEEKS and using a curling iron daily! Then When I talk to her about hair, SHE starts giving me advice, like telling me that washing our hair too much is bad, and that stuff is for white people.

First of all I only wash once a week and maybe co wash another time, and Im interested in increasing co washes. I know thats a myth. She washes her hair every 2 or 3 weeks, plus she packs grease in it(u have to wipe your hands off if u touch her hair). This is the regimen she suggests...lol. Do u think she is the type who I shouldnt even bother with(lost cause) or should I try to help her?

sorry Im just venting but Id like to know if it would be a wast of time to try to show her the light...lol.

 

[Allandra]

I have no problem offering hair care advice to those that don't mind hearing me ramble.

However, if people don't ask, I just remain quiet. People can be funny sometimes. Ya know?

 

[NYCQT16]

I think there are just some people out there who can't take advice in the spirit it is given. It also sounds like you have tried. My advice is to try once more, if she doesn't seem interested, drop it. Maybe once she sees your hair growing she will want to know how u did it and ask for tips. That would then be the best time to give her advice. Hope this helps

 

[Leslie_C]

I usually ony talk about hair to my fiance who Im sure is really interested in my new hair obsession. Every time Im on here, hes like "oh great, its hair again"...lol.

well she compliments me on my hair (she didnt know me when it was shorter) when I wear it down, so I might mention a tip here or there, but then she starts giving me tips.

My sister is the same way, shes always talking about my hair and how much its grown out and is trying to duplicate my results. She wears a ponytail piece and instant weaves (I gre mine with a ponytail), but she doesnt properly moisturize and condition her hair and perms it too much.

oh well Ill jus keep my mouth shut and *hopefully* when my hair really starts to get long, the results will speak for themselves Then Ill say, u should have listened! haha...

 

[candibaby]

if they want to know, i'll tell them.
some people i dont bother with because they just don't listen.
i used to shout out hair tips to the world, but i stopped because though it is helpful, everybody doesn't care.

 

[OnceUponAtime]

Re: Do you try to educate others or shrug them off

Just keep leading by example. People seem be in one of three camps:
1- Managing well (and it shows)
2- Seeking better care
3- In denial (and it shows)

I'm in camp #2. I've notice that those in camp #3 usually hate to admit they need help and normally don't take well to unsolicited advice. My theory is that they feel I'm telling them they look a wreck. Also, years of brainwashing is hard to erase. Especially for those that think a pound of grease in their hair is all they need.

Now that I'm showing progress, they still won't ask for help, still won't take unsolicited advice, still treat me as if I'm crazy for washing so much or using non-traditional products, but...they're watching and mimicking. Suddenly #3 campers are, buying Surge revitalizer, EVOO, discussing the new product they purchased and wondering about it's benefits and showing you their growth/health progress. Quietly blending into camp #2.

It's a slow process, but they'll start experimenting on their own eventually. I hope

 

[Leslie_C]

Re: Do you try to educate others or shrug them off

lol @ onceuponatime....I hear u! Im in camp 2 as well, hopefully Ill be in camp 1 soon! And I remember camp 3 very well but didnt know any better at the time!

 

[pressncurl]

Re: Do you try to educate others or shrug them off

Sometimes, when I'm around someone who I know needs help, but may not be open to hearing any advice, I just talk about my own hair to subtlely give 'advice.' I'll say something like, "My ends have been breaking a lot lately. I think I'm gonna start using this . . . " or sometimes I'll just bring up this website like, "Girl, I have been spending too much time online lately since I found this haircare site . . ." That opens it up for them to ask me questions without me having to point out any flaws to them.

 

[Supergirl]

Re: Do you try to educate others or shrug them off

[ QUOTE ]
Allandra said:
I have no problem offering hair care advice to those that don't mind hearing me ramble.

However, if people don't ask, I just remain quiet. People can be funny sometimes. Ya know?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, if they're open to it then I'm all for it.

 

[Isis]

Re: Do you try to educate others or shrug them off

ITA OnceUponAtime! Keep leading by example!

 

[chocolate01]

Re: Do you try to educate others or shrug them off

[ QUOTE ]
OnceUponAtime said:
Just keep leading by example. People seem be in one of three camps:
1- Managing well (and it shows)
2- Seeking better care
3- In denial (and it shows)

I'm in camp #2. I've notice that those in camp #3 usually hate to admit they need help and normally don't take well to unsolicited advice. My theory is that they feel I'm telling them they look a wreck. Also, years of brainwashing is hard to erase. Especially for those that think a pound of grease in their hair is all they need.

Now that I'm showing progress, they still won't ask for help, still won't take unsolicited advice, still treat me as if I'm crazy for washing so much or using non-traditional products, but...they're watching and mimicking. Suddenly #3 campers are, buying Surge revitalizer, EVOO, discussing the new product they purchased and wondering about it's benefits and showing you their growth/health progress. Quietly blending into camp #2.



It's a slow process, but they'll start experimenting on their own eventually. I hope

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree.

 

[carletta]

Re: Do you try to educate others or shrug them off

I only give advice when asked. when you try to offer other boneheaded people advice about their hair they look @ you like

. But as soon as your hair starts growing like weeds they KILL THEMSELVES try find out what ya done to get it that way! When I do tell them it makes me want to tell them, NOW DIDN'T I TELL YOU WHAT TO DO

AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY!

 

[SoAnxious12]

Re: Do you try to educate others or shrug them off

A friend of mine has long hair (to me) thats about 4in past her shoulders. But her ends are horrible and she has a receding(sp) hairline. I always tell her to cut her ends, then I mention how I keep my ends cut. Then she says but your hair is short! I don't want short hair. Then I give up. But the good thing is she got a trim! I usually tell people what I know and compliment their hair ( i usually have to dig deep for these compliments) and then suggest products. They usually listen after that.

 

[Honi]

Re: Do you try to educate others or shrug them off

Somehow a co-worker of mine and I got into a conversation about hair. She didn't ask me and didn't know I was visiting this board. I told her about what I was doing and she got very excited. We talked for about a good week and finally sat down to map out a schedule (she says she's a creature of habit). Today, her hair is past her bra strap and it's been less than a year for her.

She's tried to tell others (her mother, friends, aunts). Only her mother listened to her and today her hair is at her shoulders...NATURAL! She recently attended a wedding and plenty of ladies were complimenting her. These were the same ones that she gave advice to. One lady said..."I can't do that"....."you have that good hair!" I told her to leave it alone and let her hair speak for itself.

 

[hiza]

Re: Do you try to educate others or shrug them off

if they want to know, i'll tell them!

 

[Karonica]

I love doing it, but for people that don't want to listen and then come in my face later with the same questions....I don't bother answering their questions in full detail.

 

[Champagne_Wishes]

[ QUOTE ]
Leslie_C said:
I have a friend whose hair is tore up from the floor up. Its really short and damaged, yet she doesnt want to cut it. First of all she doesnt have anything to lose by cutting it and it would help her make a fresh start. Its really dull and dry with a lot of breakage and split ends. Plus she perms her hair EVERY 4 WEEKS and using a curling iron daily! Then When I talk to her about hair, SHE starts giving me advice, like telling me that washing our hair too much is bad, and that stuff is for white people.

First of all I only wash once a week and maybe co wash another time, and Im interested in increasing co washes. I know thats a myth. She washes her hair every 2 or 3 weeks, plus she packs grease in it(u have to wipe your hands off if u touch her hair). This is the regimen she suggests...lol. Do u think she is the type who I shouldnt even bother with(lost cause) or should I try to help her?

sorry Im just venting but Id like to know if it would be a wast of time to try to show her the light...lol.

[/ QUOTE ]

I look at this way, when she is ready to do something about her hair, she will do something about. Many people don't like getting advice they didn't ask for.

 

[iwantlongerhair]

I agree with Champagne wishes, I just keep it to my self unless they ask.

 

[Guapa1]

When someone compliments my hair, but I think they have to be ready, otherwise its a waste of time.

A lot of people want the excuses that only white people or mixed people can have long hair, and when someone they know with 'normal' texture hair does it, it can make them feel 2 ways 1) Happy, like most of us, because it proves it can be done, or 2) Defensive, because they are obviously doing something wrong to their own hair, and don't want to try and change it.

 

[SoAnxious12]

[ QUOTE ]
guapa1 said:
When someone compliments my hair, but I think they have to be ready, otherwise its a waste of time.

A lot of people want the excuses that only white people or mixed people can have long hair, and when someone they know with 'normal' texture hair does it, it can make them feel 2 ways 1) Happy, like most of us, because it proves it can be done, or 2) Defensive, because they are obviously doing something wrong to their own hair, and don't want to try and change it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I hate that excuse that only mixed people and white people can get their hair long like that. I'm a prime example it's bull! I'm mixed(don't look it though

) and my hair is short. The excuses people make for their own ignorance is starting to get ridiculous.

 

[Super_Hero_Girl]

Re: Do you try to educate others or shrug them off

I would try to help her because she is your friend, but if she isn't receiving your advice well then I would suggest that you move on and let her be. Maybe one day she will come to realize how damaged her hair is, hopefully after comparing it to yours. So... good luck!

 

[moneychaser]

I am tired of people asking me for my stylist's number, like she deserves credit for all my hard work. I try to tell them that I only go to the salon for touch-ups, and a blow-out every now and then

 

[Leslie_C]

lol @ denali, a little hostile are we???? just kidding

I can understand u are at the salon 5% of your time, yet she gets the credit for your hard work. On the other hand, I remember having friends in high school with pretty hair who would offer up no tips, but when I would tell them about stuff as I was learning, they would already know...so I was like why couldnt they offer up any advice every once and a while? I think they liked my hair looking tore up...lol If I knew then what I know now Id be the black rapunzel by now....hehehe

 

[LEOLADYSW]

My aunt has suffered severe breakage lately and started wearing a wig. When she came to visit me last month, she was so impressed by the way my hair has grown in the last 9 months, now she has me doing her hair. She has even started to take some of my advice.

 

[Ayeshia]

theres this one girl at work that Im aching to give advice to. Her hair is thin becasue her hair is relaxed bine str8 and it hasnt grown an inch since ive started working. Her hair is shoulder length but its looks thin and the ends clump together (it doesnt look dry or anything though). Shes capable of having thick hair becasue her new growth is very thick compared to the rest of her hair. Oh well

Dont ask dont tell.

 

[bellydancer]

i don't give anyone advice unless they ask for it, but i can't stand when my friend tells me what i'm doing is wrong. I mostly just shrug it off and say "do whatever works for you". One of my friends has some pretty damaged hair and when she sees me doing my hair or washing it she throws a fit like "STOP WASHING YOUR HAIR SO MUCH!! IT'S ALL GOING TO FALL OUT!!! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED..." At first i tried to explain what i was doing, but now... i just let it go because my hair has grown so much. I'll just wait for her to ask for advice when I hit waist length.

 

[myco]

ITA.

 

[Stylepink]

If people ask, I tell them. If they act all crazy about it, i have no problem telling them, "Then why did you ask me?". If they hair is tore up, let walk aroun dlooking funny if they don't want to try better.

 

[rowandaP]

It seems like she does'nt want to listen to you, but your hair should be a testiment to what you say. I mean people looking at her dry overworked hair and comparing it to yours - common sense should add up.

I've had people ask me my regime cause my hair is long and healthly and when I tell them it's the same thing like you said "That's for white people" or "I need grease", "Ihave to use heat", "I use a box perm and my hair gets straight".

If people are satisfied, there's nothing you can do. Just take care of your hair and shrug em off. Unless they sincerely want help. My cousin asked me for help I told her somethings and she said, I can't be bother with all that. Soooo, I mean it takes time. I just wanted to take the time to see if it would make a difference and it did now it's second nature to me.

 

[rowandaP]

Re: Do you try to educate others or shrug them off

[ QUOTE ]
pressncurl said:
Sometimes, when I'm around someone who I know needs help, but may not be open to hearing any advice, I just talk about my own hair to subtlely give 'advice.' I'll say something like, "My ends have been breaking a lot lately. I think I'm gonna start using this . . . " or sometimes I'll just bring up this website like, "Girl, I have been spending too much time online lately since I found this haircare site . . ." That opens it up for them to ask me questions without me having to point out any flaws to them.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey, Good idea.....