Wow...after reading all of these stories I see that I wasn't that bad. I shampood/conditioned every 3 days or so with Pantene. I DC'd with something from their line once a week (not with heat, just in the shower for 5 mins). My hair always had slip. I never scratched my scalp or piled my hair on top of my head. I only shampooed once per session.
I would spray some of their light conditioning spray in my hair--I never had tangles, I just thought it would help add some conditioning. Then I would blow dry with a round brush. After that I'd use a shine spray/thermal protectant from Bubbles Salon called Sashini. I loved that stuff! It left my hair so shiny (reminiscing). Anyway, I would use that as I flat ironed.
Honestly, I don't think my troubles came from the way I washed. My troubles come from the fact that I don't self-relax very well (over process), I wore too tight ponytails which tore away at my length, and the blowdry/flat iron deal every 3 days was just too much. Plus, I NEVER protected my ends. I didn't know how!