Do you have to tell your man.....

[Kinkyhairlady]

to be romantic, to treat you like a queen, to make you feel special? If so does he do it or continues to take you for granted. The reason for this question is because I feel like the man I am seeing now, I have to constantly tell him to be romantic and make me feel special. We had a long conversation about that last night and he said he understood so today he called several times to see how I was doing, just to show he cares. Well this is not the first time I had to call him out and say I want more attention. He always complies and is good for like a couple of weeks then goes back to his same old self,it is frustrating. So yesterday I told him if he does not act right I will find someone else that will treat me better. I know it probably sounds needy but what women does not want to feel like important to the man she is with. My ex use to spoil me like crazy and he was so romantic and sweet so I want to continue to be treated like that. I am trying to figure out should I just walk away or work with him and hope he changes. He has a really nonchallant attitude and likes affection to be given to him but neglects to give it back. I don't know what is going on in his head. Has anyone had a man they had to pretty much mold into the type of man they felt they deserved. I know some men cannot change but others are willing to work with you or meet you half way.

 

[Fedoralova]

Men will not change until they want to so it really doesnt make sense to threaten to leave. As you've seen he will change just enough to appease you then go back to the way things were. Change who you are with him and you'll see a difference. If he's use to you showing him attention, pull back and see how he reacts. Its not about playing a game with him, its about your actions speaking louder. My mother use to always tell me, " those who cant hear, will feel". Its the truest thing she's ever said.

ETA: Do I have to tell mine to be romantic? No, but I've been with men who werent. He just happens to be one who likes to wash my hair and bathe me. Not all men are into that kind of thing though.

 

[Cloud06]

I have been there, done that. I felt like I had to teach this man how to love me and just when I think he had it down pack, he'd turn right round and let me down. So I let him down! After he realized he caused that reaction, he changed for a little while, but soon I was being taken for grated again only because I allowed it. I went back reassuring him that I wasn't going anywhere, so he could get away with murder and I'd still be there. I left for good!

Moral of the story, you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but then again you can give up and blame it on ADHD.

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

I have been there, done that. I felt like I had to teach this man how to love me and just when I think he had it down pack, he'd turn right round and let me down. So I let him down! After he realized he caused that reaction, he changed for a little while, but soon I was being taken for grated again only because I allowed it. I went back reassuring him that I wasn't going anywhere, so he could get away with murder and I'd still be there. I left for good!

Moral of the story, you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but then again you can give up and blame it on ADHD.

I will probably have to do the same thing, but that is his only flaw and I don't know what else I will get out there.

 

[lexi08]

I will probably have to do the same thing, but that is his only flaw and I don't know what else I will get out there.

Please, Please don't stay with this man based on wheather you may or may not find another man that is better than this one. Been there done that and I so regretted having that line of thinking.