Do you have to fight...

Nixx22jam

Nixx22jam

New Member
Everytime I am walking down the street or in public in general I have to fight with myself not to offer hair advice. I think I need a soap box so i can just stand in the middle of town with a mega phone and denounce unhealthy hair practices and preach about healthy ones and hand out LHCF flyers. I have been in the hair shop many times and I see people buying stuff and I just want to
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I know not everybody wants my advice, plus I aint got the time to be standing there explaining the what's and whys to them. Also tellin everybody about LHCF is not gonna work because people are so stuck in there box, and are convinced that it would work for u and not for them, Mostly because they dont want to put in the time, they just want to wake up with WL hair. Sometimes some ppl are receptive to the information e.g Once I was in the BSS and this girl asked the man for a relaxer and grease that wouldn't break her hair. But yet still her mom had natural lil past shoulder length plaits. And her sister had horrid raggedy braids with the gel down babyhair. I gave them a mini lesson in the shop. I just had to.


What are your experiences?
 
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Sometimes I have to stop myself with my coworkers. One of them said "girl I got to get a relaxer this weekend because it's getting rough." So I asked how long has it been, and she said "right at 4 weeks." I couldn't see new growth if someone gave me a magnifying glass, binoculars and a microscope. Then I wanted to get into stretching but I had to stop myself because her hair and what she does to it is not my business. I did get one of my coworkers to start using a satin bonnet. She thanked me because she could tell the difference. I could tell because her hair didn't look as dry.

I fight the urge with outside folks. I look at random people on the street with jacked hair and a regimen just pops in my mind. I see women at BSS looking at the wrong stuff and I want to tell them put it down, it's full of such and such.....but I don't. And please don't let me stand in line behind some chewed up haired woman...oh it takes everything I have in me to keep my mouth shut.

I have gotten my mom on the healthy hair bandwagon so I can share stuff with her and she listens. I'm also seeing a change in her hair so that's a plus. :)
 
I dont ask and I dont offer. I dont have time, patience nor inclination to be captain save a h*e. NOT when there are sooo many sensitive folks in the world. If someone asks me something, fine, but if they negate everything I say, then they need to leave me alone and I tell them so.

Though I do get the urge to fix some folk's wig cause it looks like a misplaced frisbee on their head.
 
Nope because I know that the information is out there and that if people really wanted ti do what was best for their hair then they would do like I did. Go to google.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I897 using Long Hair Care Forum App
 
I learned my lesson a looonnng time ago. I don't give unsolicited advice, and when I am asked I keep it extra basic-so basic they probably wonder why they even asked in the first place.


Sometimes I wish I just had hair forum business cards so I can tell people to do research themselves.
 
i dont say anything unless i'm asked. and even then i hesitate, b/c i hate when they ask for advice, just to go do the opposite.

my friend is/was natural, but she was never into healthy care, she just stopped getting relaxers because all she did was get full weaves or extension braids anyways. her hair is like 4b/c...its not thick, its very kinky but fine and fragile...she decided she wanted the kim k middle part swoop weave, and asked me what i thought... i told her thats not a good idea because she would have to either relax it to blend, or the heat that it would take to get the leaveout straight would wreak havoc on her hair...for a week she kept asking me like my answer would change, and i kept telling her the same thing. she went home for a weekend and came back with not only her leaveout relaxed, but dyed too! it looked cute, but i knew it wasnt gonna end well...since the damage was done i gave her tips on how to maintain it, and told her about moisturizing and sealing, and told her to use rollers to keep the curls instead of using heat, and how she should condition often...i even offered to help her if she needed me to...but she aint listen to me. from the beginning of october till thanksgiving she washed her hair not one time, but flat ironed it with this hot arse hades flat iron almost every day(idk the brand but it was scorching...like you could see smoke and steam coming off the plates when it was heating up), and her idea of moisturizing was adding ic fantasia frizz buster and spraying it with oil sheen:nono:...

fastforward to present day and she still has the same weave in...but tell me why the ENTIRE SECTION of leaveout is burnt/broken off down to the new growth!!:perplexed it looks horrible...she texted me last week talkin bout she goin bald:lachen::lachen::lachen: but when i saw it in person :blush: i was speechless...the whole horseshoe section is gone with the wind...it literally looks like a 'U'....she has to wear beanies until the semester is over lol...all i could say was i told you so...idk what her next style would even be because its nothing there to grip for braids or cornrows for tracks :ohwell:

i have one friend who is going natural that i'll help because she's really serious about it and will take my advice...all my other friends dont care about healthy hair as long as they can cover it up with weave:nono:...my cousin is tryna grow her relaxed hair longer, but she wont listen to me since i BCd (it never occured to her that my hair was longer than hers when it was relaxed, and stretched out its almost the same length as hers now)...so i dont even bother...i dont even give my momma advice no more, she dont listen either.:look:
 
A colleague at work asked me for advice, she automatically assumed that I had 'that good hair' I had to set her straight and fast! I even gave her my Cathy Howes book (which she has yet to return hmph :look:). I just hope she takes something in!
 
iri9109 said:
i dont say anything unless i'm asked. and even then i hesitate, b/c i hate when they ask for advice, just to go do the opposite.

my friend is/was natural, but she was never into healthy care, she just stopped getting relaxers because all she did was get full weaves or extension braids anyways. her hair is like 4b/c...its not thick, its very kinky but fine and fragile...she decided she wanted the kim k middle part swoop weave, and asked me what i thought... i told her thats not a good idea because she would have to either relax it to blend, or the heat that it would take to get the leaveout straight would wreak havoc on her hair...for a week she kept asking me like my answer would change, and i kept telling her the same thing. she went home for a weekend and came back with not only her leaveout relaxed, but dyed too! it looked cute, but i knew it wasnt gonna end well...since the damage was done i gave her tips on how to maintain it, and told her about moisturizing and sealing, and told her to use rollers to keep the curls instead of using heat, and how she should condition often...i even offered to help her if she needed me to...but she aint listen to me. from the beginning of october till thanksgiving she washed her hair not one time, but flat ironed it with this hot arse hades flat iron almost every day(idk the brand but it was scorching...like you could see smoke and steam coming off the plates when it was heating up), and her idea of moisturizing was adding ic fantasia frizz buster and spraying it with oil sheen:nono:...

fastforward to present day and she still has the same weave in...but tell me why the ENTIRE SECTION of leaveout is burnt/broken off down to the new growth!!:perplexed it looks horrible...she texted me last week talkin bout she goin bald:lachen::lachen::lachen: but when i saw it in person :blush: i was speechless...the whole horseshoe section is gone with the wind...it literally looks like a 'U'....she has to wear beanies until the semester is over lol...all i could say was i told you so...idk what her next style would even be because its nothing there to grip for braids or cornrows for tracks :ohwell:

i have one friend who is going natural that i'll help because she's really serious about it and will take my advice...all my other friends dont care about healthy hair as long as they can cover it up with weave:nono:...my cousin is tryna grow her relaxed hair longer, but she wont listen to me since i BCd (it never occured to her that my hair was longer than hers when it was relaxed, and stretched out its almost the same length as hers now)...so i dont even bother...i dont even give my momma advice no more, she dont listen either.:look:
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Wow, just wow! :nono: Why don't people listen!
 
I don't bother too much, I'm learning to keep my excitement to myself. The only people I share it with are 2 of my friends who went natural and know some of the stuff I know (not all). My mom listens, but she doesn't do all I tell her although she stopped moisturizing her scalp, at least that's a first step. She wanted to blow dry her month old relaxer and I offered to roller set it, it looked great &she was happy with it. I think that it helps when u offer to help the person sometimes, such as styling the hair for them or giving them products.

One of my friends took out her braids one day, &relaxed her whole head the next day. She was texting me right after she relaxed, and she told her she's getting braids. I told her to wait for a few days or so because it's not a good idea. She said nah she's JUST getting a weave.. as if that's any better or even makes sense!:ohwell: I don't remember the last time I saw her hair out anyway. One thing I know for sure is that it wasn't healthy or long.
 
Most of my friends are pretty informed about healthy hair practices so I don't really have to tell them...But, even if they weren't, I don't think that I would be the "healthy crusader"...I'm more of a "I can show you better than I can tell you" kind of girl...So, I would have just quietly grown my hair to TBL...

Strangers, although I will admit there are some JACKED up heads in Atlanta (natural, relaxed, weaved up, and free), I just have a lil conversation in my head and keep it moving...If someone asks, I definitely would not withhold knowledge but I'm not going to walk up to someone with jacked up edges and say..."Blah, blah, blah"...because even when solicited for advice, sometimes she (the solicitor) isn't reallly ready for the answer...
 
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Nope. I don't just go around ambush makeover style and give people advice, but if the topic of hair is up I'll talk about what's worked for me and whatnot. Even if folks don't heavily take it in, it plants the idea of healthy haircare. Most of my friends laughed at me when they realized how I was into my hair. They thought I was crazy. But I kept learning and my hair has gotten a lot thicker and grown over the past two years. Major health improvement. Now they hit me up if they have the slightest issue and they're willing to try a lot of things they would've never considered.
 
No, I don't give unsolicited advice. People are crazy. I lose patience easily, anyway. I do give advice to kin, though. When they don't listen and do what they want to do anyway, I keep it moving. Went so far as to give my 15 yr old niece some advice and products. I did her hair for her to show her how to use each product. When she went home, back to Atlanta, she left the products. I took them back home with me.
 
My family doesn't listen to me, so I'm sure strangers won't either. My sister has literally said, "I don't want to take care of my hair, I just want it to get longer." :/ When I'm at work people assume that my hair just grows so effortlessly and all I do is look in the mirror and gain an inch. I've learned to gently correct them, "no, I've actually put a lot of care and effort into growing my hair" and I leave it at that. If they ask for advice I have to control myself to reign in my response. It's hard, but I've learned the hard way.
 
I mind my own business and KIM. Most people aren't ready for an honest answer and I am not going to walk up to a complete stranger and talk to them about their hair. Even when I'm asked, I just tell them I wash and DC my hair once a week.

Yeah I don't have to fight it cos I really don't care :kanyeshrug:
 
I have learned to mind my business and keep it moving. Especially working in the field and being a hair stylist for so long, I feel compelled to tell people sometimes. After telling some family members and getting the my hair is great (looking like hay) I just keep it moving. I wear my hair and let them come to me and surely they have :D and the ones who don't oh well, I will be loving my hair while they are broken brittle and shredded and won't offer any advice unless asked.
 
Nope. I help if asked - that's it. I collect theories and techniques of hair care but I don't think I know it all.
 
When I see strangers on the street with short, zig-zag ends and no edges and so dry that it looks like the wind would take it away, I dont say ANYTHING when they pick up some blue grease and a flat iron talking about "This is what may Shaniqwa's hair shiny". People are crazy and I dont have time for that. I just KIM and thank GOD that my hair doesn't look like that. :nono: When it comes to family and friends, I try to offer as much advice as possible, but as soon as I get the :perplexed, :ohwell: or :rolleyes:, I shut up and walk away. I'm not trying to force beautiful, luscious hair on nobody!
 
I learned not to give advice b/c some people don't want to put in the effort of growing the hair but want results. If asked, I will give information but I will not give unwanted advice to anyone.
 
Nope.. I don't offer unless it's my mom, sister or niece..

Some people want it but they don't want to put in the work to get it. They want overnight success and it just don't work that way.. So I don't offer, I just keep it moving. Some people don't want advice nor do they know how to take constructive criticism.
 
The reason why I don't give out advice as often as I want is because I realize I don't have all the answers. Also I want to come off as I'm overly conscious of other women jacked up hair.. I don't want to come off as if I have contempt for a person I don't even know. Not saying that situation would be a result from that, just women are pretty sensitive and overly analytical of situations.
 
ive learned to keep all my hair advice/expertise to myself unless im asked...and even then im reluctant to even go into detail

one of my bestfriends has thick SL relaxed hair. Its been stuck at SL since middleschool and now we're in college:ohwell: so ive constantly been trying to offer her hair advice but it goes in one ear and out the other. She relaxes every month so the other day i told her that every month is too soon and tht she should try to wait at least 8 wks and how i wait every 9-12 wks. and you know what her response was? "Girl please 9-12 wks?I have African roots giiirl you Haitian yall got that good hurr yall aint got no African roots i cant wait that long!!!"[last time i checked most haitians are direct decendents from Africa..but whatever lol] So she went and got her hair relaxed and came back to me all upset because i guess the relaxer overprocessed and it broke off her hair pretty bad so now her hair is NL. My other friend who isnt even black, she's Colombian, even said that she should stop putting chemicals in her hair and make her hair look the way mine was last yr[by that she meant going natural..she doesnt quite understand black hair so ive been trying to educate her:lol:] but of course she looked at her like she was crazy and started talking about how "bad" her hair was etc etc.
Everytime i try to offer her advice she claims that the only reason i have long hair is because i have it "in my blood" since my father has 1b hair:rolleyes:
oh well,you cant help them all[shrugs]
 
People ask all the time, but for some reason they expect results overnight, and they usually quit right after I've told them.

The only people I see benefitting from my advice are my two cousins and sister. They didn't believe me at first, but my hair progress helped them see it was possible for them too.

Otherwise, no. Especially because I'm so used to using LHCF lingo, they'd be so confused.
 
empressri said:
I dont ask and I dont offer. I dont have time, patience nor inclination to be captain save a h*e. NOT when there are sooo many sensitive folks in the world. If someone asks me something, fine, but if they negate everything I say, then they need to leave me alone and I tell them so.

Though I do get the urge to fix some folk's wig cause it looks like a misplaced frisbee on their head.
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:lachen:
save a hoe, empressri? bahahahahahahahahaha
 
I wish I could but people would give me the side eye with my TA. I only talk hair with my older sister who weeds out the advice she does and doesn't want to hear. She basically boils everything down to "I don't have the time" or "I don't have the money" so I just leave it be. When my hair passes hers (which it almost has, and she's been natural a year and a half longer than me) she'll be following my advice for real.
 
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