Do you get upset when other women question...

[hairfanatic]

whether your hair is really all yours. Normally I don't wear my hair down and tonight I did because (I don't know, I just did) a friend saw me and swore up and down because my hair was thick that I had a weave. Why is it so hard for some women to believe that you can't have thick hair or naturally curly hair, etc. It was one thing for her to admire my hair but then she started pulling it and that's when I got annoyed. What if I was wearing a weave, is pulling someone else's hair a politically correct thing to do...I THINK NOT!

 

[henrilou]

That happened to me. Actually I was at the grocery store and there were two girls that I noticed were standing really close. At first I was sort of wondering if they were trying to pick-pocket me, but then I realized they were looking closely at my hair. I backed up and sort of looked at them and they both turned around (Oh, the girls were black) I was annoyed. It would have been better if they just asked me since I love talking about hair...

 

[VALLEYGIRL]

yes especially when they think that my hair is texturized b/c black hair just can't do 'that'. These are women who have always relaxed their own hair and have no idea what their own natural hair would look like. But yet they feel that black hair 'can't' do what mine is doing?!!?
WHATEVER
Valleygirl

 

[DiamondDoll]

I get the looks and questions from random people on the road....my friends some family members AND hairstylists......you would think THEY would know if you have a weave or not! They don't believe me until they go into my hair to do a service!

For heavens sake...it's just hair. it's not THAT serious.

I even had one close friends ask my hairdresser if I had a weave and when the lady told her no she STILL didn't believe.

I give up...I know it's not weave so I am happy...and if it looks SO good people think it came from out of a bag I must be doing something right!

 

[sweetcocoa]

Diamonddoll, it's funny you should mention stylists who <font color="red">should</font color> know better...I was looking at a new book of hair styles(one of the ones that feature different salons)a co-worker brought in and we both noticed how almost every stylists in the book used hair weaves. I have no problem with weaves, but it sends the message that it is the only way to achieve any sort of length...and I totally disagree with that. No wonder people(especially our own) think it's not possible to have <font color="blue">your own </font color> long beautiful hair. My co-worker is relaxed and has bra strap length hair. We both rinse everynight. We have both been told many times that we shouldn't do that(this is coming from ladies whose hair looks very dry and frizzy). But like me she knows what works for her hair and she ain't paying them any attention.

 

[Guest]

YES, I sho' do!!!!!!!!! Everyone should remember my chronicle with the Korean lady that works at the beauty supply store who always harasses me about my hair. Asking do I need to "buy more track??" (not tracks, but track b/c that's the way she says it... and who insisted on putting her hands thru my hair, w/o asking I must add, to confirm for herself that my hair was real! The nerve of some folks.... /images/graemlins/mad.gif

 

[MSCHICHI]

Often, and in certain settings, even the question is inappropriate. I think the line in the sand though, is questioning in an ugly, argumentative manner, or worse, someone touching or pulling your hair just to see if it is real.

I get asked if this is my hair a lot by people at my church, because it is a mixed church, and they see my hair so many different ways (different colors, lengths and texture,-my hair, wigs and weaves). When they see my hair "short" and natural, then past my shoulders and straight, they ask if it is mine because some may not know the characteristics of our hair. I don't mind educating people like this.

 

[Eyvonne7131]

LOL...Caramela, girl stop! I remember when you posted that a while back. I think for many of us that might be a reason why we are here to prove that AA women can grow long healthy hair...unfortunately many are so nieve to the fact they act ignorant. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[hairfanatic]

Hi Henrilou,

I have looked at other women's hair out of admiration but definately not to see if it's real or not. Some people really need to get it together. I am one that will go and tell a woman how beautiful their hair is. I have also encountered women with beautiful hair that had a terrible attitude also when you inquire as if they don't want you to know their secrets. I'm glad you are one that has no problem discussing it because I feel the same way.

 

[hairfanatic]

Hi Valleygirl,

I can definately say that our hair comes in many shapes and forms and depending on whether or not I use Back to Basics Gel, some people have asked me the texurized question also. Do you find yourself willing to explain your hair/regimen or is it their attitude and disbelief that makes you feel annoyed. Has anyone ever tried to touch or pull your hair to see?

 

[hairfanatic]

Hi DiamondDoll,

Your friend did what! /images/graemlins/mad.gif Who does she think she is...that is so DclassA.

 

[hairfanatic]

That is an excellent point Sweetcocoa.

You do see a lot of weaving in the hair magazines. A friend of mine had one of those hair weaves that you use a pin to sew in the hair and she went from long hair to patches in some areas. She was just getting it to protect her hair doing the Winter. The magazines make it seem like it's something worth while but put in the wrong hands it's a disaster.

 

[hairfanatic]

Hi Caramela,

Now see, she has gone too far. She wants someone to patronize her store, yet she is willing to lose a customer by harassing them? /images/graemlins/mad.gif Oh by the way, your hair is LOVELY!!! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[hairfanatic]

Hi Mschichi,

There is a time and place for every thing. I believe that if a woman came up to me and said, "Excuse me, you have beautiful hair and I really would love to get my hair in shape. Do you mind telling me some of the things you do to get it to look so pretty". I would be inclined to want to share but if someone like the woman last night comes up to me and say, "Girrrrl, get out of here, you know you got a weave", then pulling, then yes, I'm furious and want you to get out of my face because you don't deserve to have pretty hair.

 

[hairfanatic]

I agree with you 100% on that Eyvonne.

 

[adrienne0914]

yes, i get that all the time when i wear my hair down. it doesn't really bother me anymore. i don't like people touching my hair unless i offer though. "umm... excuse you!" /images/graemlins/mad.gif

when my hair was shorter, i used get asked if it was a wig. i guess because i never had a hair out of place. lol!

i think people basically just trip off of our hair when it's really HEALTHY...

adrienne

 

[henrilou]

Oh Yes! I will talk hair anytime, anyplace. I have been in the starbucks talking with the girl behind the counter. My b/f just rolls his eyes. But for me talking hair is really the same as him talking about the superbowl-uh-I mean world series....

 

[Honey Vibe]

Well, try not to get annoyed with admirers, ladies! /images/graemlins/smile.gif Most likely, they would like to ask you how you did it and what are your secrets, because healthy beautiful long hair always has been, and always will be, an eye-catcher. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[UmSumayyah]

bump! (i'm doing the bump today.

)

 

[Karonica]

I don't get upset, I see it as a compliment, to be honest.

I do get upset when people ask me the same questions over and over again. Like, what do you do to make your hair grow? I don't mind sharing the information to you, but realize that I what I do may not work for you, and don't get upset when it doesn't (I've had that happen before). The nerve. And then, I have this one lady at church constantly asking me the same questions that I asnwered the previous Sunday. It annoys me terribly.

 

[HippyChick]

Yes, I get that question all of the time especially when my hair was three inches from waist ( now two inches past bra strap). I don't like when people pull it though (too hard!) and without permission.

 

[melodee]

Happens to my lil' sis alot. She's in high school, and the black girls are always pulling her hair and teeling her she has a weave. They also start with that "you're not really black" thing. We are Latina and black, but definately black. I look like my sister, but my hair type is 4a as apposed to her 3b/c. My hair is about an dinch past my shoulders, so no one really raves or is overly inquisitive about it. But I like how alot of my white friends will ask about how often I wash.(1-2x a week) They are shocked and act as if I'm the dirtiest person known to man. When they hear we ADD oils they just about keel over.

 

[honey_jammz82]

I was at the gym today, and this man was there with his wife...he came up to me and was like "Is that all your hair?" I started cheezin and said yes. He walked off and goes "see baby I told you it was her hair!".

That is a great feeling, it has to be, because obviously having healthy and long hair for black women is not the norm, and when you know that all the hard work and dedication you put into your hair shows and others notice....it feels soooo good!

 

[Mahalialee4]

What I find particularly OFFENSIVE RUDE AND INSULTING!!!!

is the PACK ATTACK!!!You know when 2-5 sistahs get in your face LITERALLY in a public place and in front of strangers...(white and all...demanding to know..."is dat yo haiahuh?" Girl, dat aint yo hair)....and trying to put your business on the street...I feel embarrassed for them and for me. It's like they are trying to publically call you out. The other thing I HATE IS BEING TOUCHED and anyone putting their hands through my hair. I go out of my way to avoid that nonsense because I feel like I need to go and wash my hair. (thinking..."who are these people...where have those hands been out here in public...and why are they acting so spitefu/familiar? I hate being GROPED!!!

I have no problem responding to reasonable respectful approaches, but keep your hands down unless you ask and I say okay, and if my word is not good enough when you ask if it is mine, please do not insult me by calling me basically a liar and then sticking your hands in my hair like I am for sale!!!!

Hair is not public property. It is a part of your body, too. Bonjour. (outraged dignity ya'll

 

[LavenderDutchess]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Mahalialee4 said:
What I find particularly OFFENSIVE RUDE AND INSULTING!!!!

is the PACK ATTACK!!!You know when 2-5 sistahs get in your face LITERALLY in a public place and in front of strangers...(white and all...demanding to know..."is dat yo haiahuh?" Girl, dat aint yo hair)....and trying to put your business on the street...I feel embarrassed for them and for me. It's like they are trying to publically call you out. The other thing I HATE IS BEING TOUCHED and anyone putting their hands through my hair. I go out of my way to avoid that nonsense because I feel like I need to go and wash my hair. (thinking..."who are these people...where have those hands been out here in public...and why are they acting so spitefu/familiar? I hate being GROPED!!!

I have no problem responding to reasonable respectful approaches, but keep your hands down unless you ask and I say okay, and if my word is not good enough when you ask if it is mine, please do not insult me by calling me basically a liar and then sticking your hands in my hair like I am for sale!!!!

Hair is not public property. It is a part of your body, too. Bonjour. (outraged dignity ya'll

[/ QUOTE ]

Well you said it all for me, so now I dont really have to write anything

 

[Momstar]

My own cousin who braids my hair asked me if my hair was real when I had it pressed. Now I know I am making progress. She always braids my hair when it's in its natural texture but she should still know that hair is longer when you straighten it. I was happy but at the same time, I wouldn't consider my hair long. It's not long yet. Maybe she couldn't believe it had grown so much because last year I had like an inch of hair and now it's trying to kiss my shoulders.

 

[AZJeepgurl]

Sigh! Still waiting for that day....sniff

 

[Guest]

not really,, cause.. well yall know the story of where i live. but when i got to the city thats another story. black men stare, do a double take. black women follow me down the aisle in the mall. i had this one woman follow me and my mother from one store to the next. and finally my mother gets mad and goes up to her and asked if there was a problem. the lady whips back her 3 inch barely movable hair and says with a smirk. "you know that aint your own hair who are you trying to fool" my mom literally grabs the womans hand and forces her to finger her hair and she said " do you feel tracks? do you feel knobs?" turns around nearly hitting the lady in the face with her hair and we walk off. lol i love ma mama i think i get her attitude from her.

 

[PapillionRouge]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
emgurl said:
not really,, cause.. well yall know the story of where i live. but when i got to the city thats another story. black men stare, do a double take. black women follow me down the aisle in the mall. i had this one woman follow me and my mother from one store to the next. and finally my mother gets mad and goes up to her and asked if there was a problem. the lady whips back her 3 inch barely movable hair and says with a smirk. "you know that aint your own hair who are you trying to fool" my mom literally grabs the womans hand and forces her to finger her hair and she said " do you feel tracks? do you feel knobs?" turns around nearly hitting the lady in the face with her hair and we walk off. lol i love ma mama i think i get her attitude from her.

[/ QUOTE ]

ROTFLMAO

This happened is Canada, how long is ur moms hair? That was toooo funny!
LOL!

 

[OnlyErin]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
emgurl said:
not really,, cause.. well yall know the story of where i live. but when i got to the city thats another story. black men stare, do a double take. black women follow me down the aisle in the mall. i had this one woman follow me and my mother from one store to the next. and finally my mother gets mad and goes up to her and asked if there was a problem. the lady whips back her 3 inch barely movable hair and says with a smirk. "you know that aint your own hair who are you trying to fool" my mom literally grabs the womans hand and forces her to finger her hair and she said " do you feel tracks? do you feel knobs?" turns around nearly hitting the lady in the face with her hair and we walk off. lol i love ma mama i think i get her attitude from her.

[/ QUOTE ]

She's lucky your mom didn't slap the mess out of her for real? Following? That some ish. People today are some kind of crazy, I'm telling you.

I haven't heard anything said down here, but the last time my hair was this long, I was at home in Philly and I went to a "noted braid salon" (it had been featured in Essence) for a consultation. I walk in and the braider takes one look at me and says, "I thought my receptionist told you that I can't give an accurate consultation if you have tracks in your hair!" When I told her it was all mine, and she confirmed this by feeling it, she was very excited. I didn't get my hair done there because she wanted $650 for micros!!! (This was before everyone and their ferret were doing them), but I still remember her outrage when she thought I had tracks. My hair is an inch-two inches longer than it was then . . . I wonder what she'd say now?!

OE