Do You Get Sick of Grading Your Hair?

kblc06

kblc06

Well-Known Member
Do You Get Sick of People Grading Your Hair?

Because I know I do :perplexed I was in the cafeteria getting something to take back to my room when one of the ladies that work that asked me if "that was all my hair" (it was up in huge messy bunned braidout w/ a part on the side with a rose). When I replied yes, she practically exclaimed "lawd you got a good grade of hair" to which every other cafeteria worker (~7) proceeded to batter me with questions and comments. I was quite embarrassed since I'm the low-key type, but when I proceeded to explain it was not about my hair texture, but that I really go out of my way to take care of it NO ONE was hearing me....and I might add the at least 6 of these ladies could have used a LHCF card with some tips on how to stop receding edges from massive extensions and braids :nono:
 
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No not really. Some people still subscribe to the good hair/bad hair school of thought. There's really nothing you can do.
 
I do not necessarily get tired of it, but it is annoying when the first thing that I am asked is are you mixed? When I respond with, why?, they say because you have a beautiful grade of hair or just plain out because you have "good" hair. I get frustrated and I think to myself, yes i am mixed, but why does it matter if I am mixed, or not. Not all Black women have "bad" hair and not all mixed women have "good" hair. Just because I have same waves and curls I must be mixed. I just say thank you for the compliment, but I never give them the satisfaction of thinking only mixed chicks have "good" hair.
 
Nope, since people normally don't tell me have a good grade of hair!:look: When I receive any positive comments about my hair Im elated!:lachen:
 
When I was younger a few of my cousins used to always do it. They would sometimes stretch my hair to see how long it was. It was just shoulder length but they always had short hair so mine was the longest and "good" :rolleyes:

I had a hair dresser tell me once part of my hair was "good" and that I almost had good hair. I guess she was referring to all these different textures :wallbash:.
 
yes i do. because when they say "good" it usually means "like a white person's." so only loose waves and curls should be considered "good," and only if they don't have "afro-tendencies" (i.e. puff up too much). but then if you have coarse black hair that somehow grew past APL then it suddenly becomes "good" because it's long. or if you have healthy natural hair it's "good" because it isn't dry/dull/coarse/rough/short. um yeah... so i need a true definition of what "good" is. cuz it seems to me that when someone is told they have "good" hair, it's really that their hair is healthy, soft, shiny, smooth, and possibly long. basically not crappy-looking. and that has nothing to do with texture, it has to do with proper care.

i guess really i'm tired of people not putting the credit (or blame) where it belongs... :wallbash:
 
Well at least they gave you a compliment...sort of :-/ lol People odn't know things unless they are told, and like most people I've been told my hair could only grow if I were mixed....they prolly believe this too lol....maybe one day they'll b led out of the dark lol
 
Yes, I sorta cringe...because it's a lot of negativity about themselves. I really don't like to hear "you got a good grade"....who estabilished what's a good grade? I'm envious of a lot of ladies that have a coarse texture because relaxers seem to hold up better resulting in less damage. But I don't categorize into good or bad.

By the way, before joining this board in January, I had never heard of the "3a-4b" stuff of grading hair. I understand that it gives other members a baseline by which the success of different products can be evaluated. But I don't consider one category good, better, or best over the others.
 
No, it really doesn't bother me. I just take it as a compliment, thank them, and keep on moving. Now, when they stop asking and compimenting, then I'll start worrying.
 
ladylibra said:
yes i do. because when they say "good" it usually means "like a white person's." so only loose waves and curls should be considered "good," and only if they don't have "afro-tendencies" (i.e. puff up too much). but then if you have coarse black hair that somehow grew past APL then it suddenly becomes "good" because it's long. or if you have healthy natural hair it's "good" because it isn't dry/dull/coarse/rough/short. um yeah... so i need a true definition of what "good" is. cuz it seems to me that when someone is told they have "good" hair, it's really that their hair is healthy, soft, shiny, smooth, and possibly long. basically not crappy-looking. and that has nothing to do with texture, it has to do with proper care.

i guess really i'm tired of people not putting the credit (or blame) where it belongs... :wallbash:
Click to expand...

Uh oh, my hair must be really crappy-looking because I've never even once had anybody say I have "good hair".:lachen:ok, i know you didn't mean it like that, just saying, there's more to it than not looking crappy. so while it's possible for me to get complimented on the style, outside of pro-nappy hair boards, i don't get "complimented" (if it can even be called that) on the texture. i'm like the other women who don't get tired of it because no one ever says it to me. but i will say that i find it all insulting. booo! :nono:
 
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ladylibra said:
yes i do. because when they say "good" it usually means "like a white person's." so only loose waves and curls should be considered "good," and only if they don't have "afro-tendencies" (i.e. puff up too much). but then if you have coarse black hair that somehow grew past APL then it suddenly becomes "good" because it's long. or if you have healthy natural hair it's "good" because it isn't dry/dull/coarse/rough/short. um yeah... so i need a true definition of what "good" is. cuz it seems to me that when someone is told they have "good" hair, it's really that their hair is healthy, soft, shiny, smooth, and possibly long. basically not crappy-looking. and that has nothing to do with texture, it has to do with proper care.

i guess really i'm tired of people not putting the credit (or blame) where it belongs... :wallbash:
Click to expand...

Thank you! What bothers me most is the mentality behind WHY they think this way :perplexed. Looking at my family, I fairly certain I'm not mixed, if at all. But many black women before they went natural or stretched for months at a time had no clue as to what their natural hair could or could not do. It's just tiresome because the ignorance seems so rampant but is so deeply embedded that it may take years to undo all of that mental baggage about black hair. At least it was a semi-compliment and not someone saying "You're too dark for that to be your natural hair...what kind of texturizer do you use?" :wallbash: (and yes this has happened before)


eta: and thank you loca :grin:
 
Yeah, it's a little bothersome because it's not really a "compliment" to which I can respond. If you say "oh your hair is pretty," then I can say "thanks." But if someone says, "Oh, you're hair is prettyy--I have a friend who wears her hair likes yours, and she has a good grade of hair too," I'm not comfortable saying "thanks." I mean, it's sort of a backhanded compliment because to accept it, I have to acknowledge that other people have a "bad" grade of hair, and I refuse to do that. And there are a lot of people out there who would indeed say that I don't have a "good grade" of hair by their books anyway, so what's it all mean? :nono:
 
When I first told my family that I plan to grow my hair long....my sister replied that we don't have the long hair "gene"! WTF:wallbash:

Now that it is thick, healthy and almost APL ...she claims that "you" always had that good hair! :wallbash:

I never had long hair because I never knew how to care for my hair before....now it is thriving!

It is not because I'm mixed, not because I have a certain "grade" of hair or because I used a magic growth (well MN has helped :yep:) grease!
 
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