Do You Feel That Your Natural Hair Is A Lot Of Work?

[SAPNK]

How long is your wash day?
How much time do you spend on your hair per week? Do you feel like it's too much or will be too much when you gain length?

 

[Maracujá]

How long is your wash day?
How much time do you spend on your hair per week? Do you feel like it's too much or will be too much when you gain length?

Great topic. My answer: yes and no. Kimmaytube tackled this topic in a very innovative way, on this video:



As Black women, we’re constantly told to grow our hair long, just to prove the naysayers wrong. With very little regard for our particular lifestyle or whatever stage of life we find ourselves in.

Just mentioning to Black women that I was going to cut my hair, caused so much uproar . Now they all love it . My washing + dcing + styling routine has been cut in half, which in turn gives me ample time to focus on things that matter to me, at this particular stage in my life. Such as skincare, exersicing and spending time with loved ones. In short: there is a time and place for everything ( my 0.2 cents ).

 

[SAPNK]

I don't feel like it's a lot of work at the moment. My rule is that a style should last one week for every hour it takes to install, so right now I don't really do anything that takes more than an hour.
Detangling is the most difficult part so I only do it when it's the easiest; in the shower with a lot of conditioner.
My wash day is about 45 minutes. If I deep condition with heat, it would be an hour or so. Then styling is up to an hour (but not always that long), so almost 2 hours a week at most. So that's 17 minutes a day, a most, if I were doing it everyday, and I don't think that's a lot considering I have the kinkiest hair type.

 

[SAPNK]

Great topic. My answer: yes and no. Kimmaytube tackled this topic in a very innovative way, on this video:



As Black women, we’re constantly told to grow our hair long, just to prove the naysayers wrong. With very little regard for our particular lifestyle or whatever stage of life we find ourselves in.

Just mentioning to Black women that I was going to cut my hair, caused so much uproar . Now they all love it . My washing + dcing + styling routine has been cut in half, which in turn gives me ample time to focus on things that matter to me, at this particular stage in my life. Such as skincare, exersicing and spending time with loved ones. In short: there is a time and place for everything ( my 0.2 cents ).

Love this! And I agree. I've
noticed that a lot a naturals feel that their hair is too much wok or not easily manageable, and I think part of the issue is balancing 1. time, 2. achieving a certain aesthetic, and 3. Care (stretching, detangling, preventing matting) which can be difficult.

 

[Britt]

Absolutely! And I don't have a fraction of the hair a lot of naturalistas have.

When I say a lot of work, I mean mainly the time and commitment it takes. It takes time and $$$ to figure out what works. Natural hair is incredibly nuanced and you need time and interest to devote to researching and figuring out styles that work for you. I'm gonna watch KimmayTube's video. My challenge has always been styling and longevity. When I was natural previously, I would retwist my hair .. nightly. That gave me the perfect twist out daily, my hair was also a little looser and a lot smoother then so detangling was a breeze. I have a baby now and my hair has changed some. I cannot retwist daily nor do I desire to do so. On wash day detangling takes time but moreso, putting my hair in a twist out and having to wear the twists until they dry is frustrating. Frustrating b/c if I have somewhere to go, I don't necessarily want to leave the house in twists.. it can look homely. Also, my twist out will be beautiful the day I take it down but the following days ehhhh, not so much. You gotta find the right styling products, making sure your twists or braids are fully dry before you take them down. It's high maintenance af !!!

I think natural hair is beautiful but you have to know how to style your hair, know what works for your hair and be willing to devote time to it. You have to be a 'hair' person, if you aren't you could mess around and start to look homely and just cave in from frustration. I think most of us on the board are hair people, which is why we're on a hair board but the average person wanting to go natural may not be and by looking at them, I can see that. There's so much to factor in, like length, texture, density. All of these things make a huge difference in your appearance and how you style your hair. That's why it's hard to ask someone for advice. There's a lot of unrealistic expectations in the natural hair community.

I don't feel the freedom that comes with it. In fact, it's the opposite to me. I haven't fallen into the 'sweet spot' territory as yet.

 

[nyeredzi]

Grrrrl, let me hold my spot. I will fill on all the rants in a bit.

Okay, back.
So, I had to hold my spot because I was too busy to answer at the time. Which brings me to the crux of the matter: I don't have time. I work full time and have two small kids and no family out here other than my husband of course. I am always busy, I don't have time for this hair. I also have a daughter whose hair I have to do, and it's almost as long as mine.

Yes, my hair is time consuming and difficult. Before I had kids, i had time to take care of it, and my hair was usually pretty. Now? Well ... anyway, i usually wash weekly if i can, because otherwise my head itches. But ideally i only comb every other week. Generally it takes me somewhere around 2-3 hours weekly, and i think that's a lot. Especially as it needs to happen all at once, or maybe over 2 times, which means i need a large block of time at once. And it is hard to get with the kids.

I spent a long time envying people with easier hair. I still do. I saw some 4a/3c girl on youtube the other day say she hadn't combed her hair in 3 weeks, it still looked decent, she hopped in the shower and combed it with a wide tooth comb in like 10 minutes. I cursed her out. Even though I envy people, I've now stopped trying to emulate them. I've been natural for decades. Literally, like 3 decades nappy, and even before then mostly a straight hair natural. I know by now that even though there's always some new method or whatever that supposed to allow you to have nice hair with ease, that thing is not going to work for me. Nothing is going to change what is just the fundamental nature of my hair.

I'm about MBL now, but cutting it shorter doesn't help. I'd have to go down to like an inch or two for me to spend less time on my hair. I know because I've cut my hair down to as short as 5 inches which introduces its own styling problems.

I have never laid my edges in my life. This is not about me trying to have flawless hair with laid edges. However I do think I should look halfway decent. And it just takes a long time. I don't want locs, and I don't want a 1-2 inch fro. I have no idea what I'd do with relaxed hair, and I usually don't like the look of relaxed hair. So I put up with it because I prefer the look of long natural hair. But the upkeep is annoying.

 

[Cheekychica]

I selected "yes and it's difficult to deal with" which is why I protective style almost exclusively. I have not worn my hair out for longer than a few days in a good while now. I workout at least 5 times a week and if I wore my own hair I'd need to re-braid my hair (I do braid outs) nightly since the exercise sweats out that hold. I feel tired just thinking of adding that task to my daily routine. Maybe when my hair is longer I'll be able to achieve a style with more longevity.

Right now for my lifestyle, wigs or braids work best for me. Wigs, so I can get at my hair when I want to and braids for a completely hands-off break (not including washing my scalp).

 

[icsonia22]

How long is your wash day?
How much time do you spend on your hair per week? Do you feel like it's too much or will be too much when you gain length?

If my hair is in braids, wash day is no more than the time it takes to take a shower but when my hair is out and has to be detangled.....THE STRUGGLE IS OH SO REAL! I have to tackle it in sections with a ton of conditioner and patience to keep my arms up. By the time I add in deep conditioning, sitting under the dryer, blow drying and moisturizing, I'm about ready to chop it all off. I protective style for 5-6 weeks at a time because I hate wash day when I'm not in braids.
I don't spend a lot of time on my hair until I take it down from a protective style. Then I spend a day or 2 (good old henna dye release) fighting it.
I definitely can't to anything past WL...shoot I don't know if I can do MBL. I'm apl on top and sl in the back and that's a hassle. Maybe it'll get better when I can throw my hair into a high bun.

 

[SAPNK]

Absolutely! And I don't have a fraction of the hair a lot of naturalistas have.

When I say a lot of work, I mean mainly the time and commitment it takes. It takes time and $$$ to figure out what works. Natural hair is incredibly nuanced and you need time and interest to devote to researching and figuring out styles that work for you. I'm gonna watch KimmayTube's video. My challenge has always been styling and longevity. When I was natural previously, I would retwist my hair .. nightly. That gave me the perfect twist out daily, my hair was also a little looser and a lot smoother then so detangling was a breeze. I have a baby now and my hair has changed some. I cannot retwist daily nor do I desire to do so. On wash day detangling takes time but moreso, putting my hair in a twist out and having to wear the twists until they dry is frustrating. Frustrating b/c if I have somewhere to go, I don't necessarily want to leave the house in twists.. it can look homely. Also, my twist out will be beautiful the day I take it down but the following days ehhhh, not so much. You gotta find the right styling products, making sure your twists or braids are fully dry before you take them down. It's high maintenance af !!!

I think natural hair is beautiful but you have to know how to style your hair, know what works for your hair and be willing to devote time to it. You have to be a 'hair' person, if you aren't you could mess around and start to look homely and just cave in from frustration. I think most of us on the board are hair people, which is why we're on a hair board but the average person wanting to go natural may not be and by looking at them, I can see that. There's so much to factor in, like length, texture, density. All of these things make a huge difference in your appearance and how you style your hair. That's why it's hard to ask someone for advice. There's a lot of unrealistic expectations in the natural hair community.

I don't feel the freedom that comes with it. In fact, it's the opposite to me. I haven't fallen into the 'sweet spot' territory as yet.

This sums it up perfectly.
Our hair (some of us) requires prep work.
It always has to be stretched. That's the most annoying thing for me right now. I stretch in plaits after washing and I feel weird about not being comfortable leaving the house until it dries. It really bothered me. I deal with that by washing at night and styling the very next morning. The thing is, any change in schedule or any loss of time, or just being tired, can make you feel uncomfortable going out with your own God given hair. Hmm.

 

[SAPNK]

It's interesting hearing why people feel it's a struggle.
If plaits and celie twists were socially acceptable, that would change a whole lot.

 

[waff]

Yes it is. I wash my hair twice a week and it can be broken down this way:
-45 mins to shampoo and detangle (twice a week)
-20 mins to apply DC (one a week), I won't count the time I am just waiting with the DC in my hair since that doesn't require physical work from me
-1.25 to 1.5 hours to style (twice a week)
total approx 5 hours a week

I think this is enough time to consider it a "lot". Hair is kinda of a hobby to me though, and I think like any hobby it requires time and effort. I enjoy experimenting and trying out new products, so it doesn't feel like a burden.

Even when I wore my hair straight 100% of the time, my weekly wash days were probably around 5 hours, so I still spent the same time doing my hair in a week. The longer the hair gets the more maintenance, and the more work it is because retaining moisture becomes harder since the hair is older, avoiding breakage is harder. I can definitely tell a difference on how much time/effort my hair took at WL vs HL vs TBL.

 

[SAPNK]

Yes it is. I wash my hair twice a week and it can be broken down this way:
-45 mins to shampoo and detangle (twice a week)
-20 mins to apply DC (one a week), I won't count the time I am just waiting with the DC in my hair since that doesn't require physical work from me
-1.25 to 1.5 hours to style (twice a week)
total approx 5 hours a week

I think this is enough time to consider it a "lot". Hair is kinda of a hobby to me though, and I think like any hobby it requires time and effort. I enjoy experimenting and trying out new products, so it doesn't feel like a burden.

Even when I wore my hair straight 100% of the time, my weekly wash days were probably around 5 hours, so I still spent the same time doing my hair in a week. The longer the hair gets the more maintenance, and the more work it is because retaining moisture becomes harder since the hair is older, avoiding breakage is harder. I can definitely tell a difference on how much time/effort my hair took at WL vs HL vs TBL.

You're hair is tbl now? Wow!
What is your hair type, and how are you styling it? Just curious.

 

[waff]

You're hair is tbl now? Wow!
What is your hair type, and how are you styling it? Just curious.

It use to be TBL last year, but I trimmed it to WL and this last weekend I blow it out after months of avoiding heat, and I am sitting just above HL right now. I am trying to recover my curl pattern from all the heat damage left, so I am thinking of chopping it back to WL again. I use to be a straight hair natural for years, but since last year I decided to commit to a healthy lifestyle and get serious about my health, workout regularly, which led me to drop straightening my hair since it doesn't last. I have been exclusively wearing WNGs.

I personally do not know how to identify the type of my hair fully yet. I have mainly S and O curls spread here and there. I still cannot identify my porosity, I would assume it's high since it drinks up moisture fast and doesn't retain it for a long time as well. In the other hand my hair takes a long time to dry if I style it on wet hair, and I don't feel like the cuticle is rough or raised. Medium to high density, fine strands. If we are talking about the hair chart system than I am somewhere in the 3 category.

 

[Alma Petra]

How long is your wash day?
How much time do you spend on your hair per week? Do you feel like it's too much or will be too much when you gain length?

Unfortunately I can't get my wash and go to continue to look good after day 1 and maximally day 2. It takes me about 2 hours to style and another 30-45 minutes to dry and I end up putting my hair in a bun for most of the days. So I'm still trying to find the products and the techniques to give me longer lasting results for shorter times of styling. Or maybe I should just accept the wild frizzy look.

 

[SAPNK]

Why does it take so long to style wash and gos? Is it the drying time?

 

[OhTall1]

My hair isn't a lot of work but it does take a lot of time. My hair is fine and dense. My full routine takes a bulk of my Sunday because of treatments (ex. Olaplex, Aphogee, etc.) and deep conditioning. My WNGs take a long time to dry even with it cut in a tapered TWA. But styling time during the week is short because I just mist it in the morning or use curl refreshers from Curls or Cantu.

 

[Alma Petra]

Why does it take so long to style wash and gos? Is it the drying time?

I have to style in 4 sections so this means repeating everything 4 times. I have to make sure my hair is soaked in water. Then finger detangle. Then apply and rake my products and smooth them down. The front of my hair is of a rougher and less defined texture than the rest and it takes time to shingle it (the Tightly Curly method) and also to separate the clumps because it tends to over-clump. My coils are very tight so overclumping is a big no no. Sometimes separation causes frizz and I have to re-smooth then re-separate, sometimes more than once until I feel satisfied.

If I decide to deep condition before I style, this will add so much more time to the whole thing. Hopping in and out of the shower and under and out of the drier. You can imagine

 

[Alma Petra]

In fact I am going to wash my hair now. I am going to time myself and try to get it done as quickly as possible. I was going to deep condition but I think I will skip it now. I hope I won't regret this decision tomorrow haha.

 

[SAPNK]

I have to style in 4 sections so this means repeating everything 4 times. I have to make sure my hair is soaked in water. Then finger detangle. Then apply and rake my products and smooth them down. The front of my hair is of a rougher and less defined texture than the rest and it takes time to shingle it (the Tightly Curly method) and also to separate the clumps because it tends to over-clump. My coils are very tight so overclumping is a big no no. Sometimes separation causes frizz and I have to re-smooth then re-separate, sometimes more than once until I feel satisfied.

If I decide to deep condition before I style, this will add so much more time to the whole thing. Hopping in and out of the shower and under and out of the drier. You can imagine

Wow. Didn't know it was such a process.

 

[Britt]

This sums it up perfectly.
Our hair (some of us) requires prep work.
It always has to be stretched. That's the most annoying thing for me right now. I stretch in plaits after washing and I feel weird about not being comfortable leaving the house until it dries. It really bothered me. I deal with that by washing at night and styling the very next morning. The thing is, any change in schedule or any loss of time, or just being tired, can make you feel uncomfortable going out with your own God given hair. Hmm.

Precisely to every single word.
As I wrote this post, I'm thinking.. Hmmm, I'll likely be going out tomorrow night and need my hair to be done. Saturdays are my wash days, so I usually wash n twist. However, now I would have to take the twists down for the same night which will shorten the longevity I'll get out of the twist out for the week. I feel like I sound neurotic and it bothers me, but I can't really see a way around this as much as I try. It's like any way I slice and dice it, my hair has to be prepped somehow and the fact that I have to give so much thought to it annoys me. I have to schedule in and do mental gymnastics with my hair. It's the total opposite of freedom.
I'm going to wash, condition and blow dry and put in some flat twists and then wear out that evening. Ideally, I would like to wash my hair twice a week (especially in the summer) but the time it takes to detangle and style prevents me from doing so.

I was having this candid convo with my stylist and she said she gets it, she said that's why she wears wigs, braids, or will only wear her natural hair in a short cut. She said quite a few of her natural clients have the same complaints but it's kinda taboo. While I don't exactly want a relaxer, mainly because I do love the look of my natural hair and big hair, it's really a pain in the butt. Wigs and weaves are not an option so I feel torn.

 

[Britt]

It's interesting hearing why people feel it's a struggle.
If plaits and celie twists were socially acceptable, that would change a whole lot.

To my mom they are
Hi mom if you're reading
I went out the other day and felt self conscious of my celie twists pulled in a low ponytail. Did I look terrible? No...
Did I feel good ...
I felt my hair just looked homely... thank goodness my entire look sorta pulled it off.

 

[Alma Petra]

Wow. Didn't know it was such a process.

It doesn't have to be, but I have very frizzy rough hair and I don't like to let it do what it wants to do. If I accept frizz, everything will become much much easier.

 

[SAPNK]

Precisely to every single word.
As I wrote this post, I'm thinking.. Hmmm, I'll likely be going out tomorrow night and need my hair to be done. Saturdays are my wash days, so I usually wash n twist. However, now I would have to take the twists down for the same night which will shorten the longevity I'll get out of the twist out for the week. I feel like I sound neurotic and it bothers me, but I can't really see a way around this as much as I try. It's like any way I slice and dice it, my hair has to be prepped somehow and the fact that I have to give so much thought to it annoys me. I have to schedule in and do mental gymnastics with my hair. It's the total opposite of freedom.
I'm going to wash, condition and blow dry and put in some flat twists and then wear out that evening. Ideally, I would like to wash my hair twice a week (especially in the summer) but the time it takes to detangle and style prevents me from doing so.

I was having this candid convo with my stylist and she said she gets it, she said that's why she wears wigs, braids, or will only wear her natural hair in a short cut. She said quite a few of her natural clients have the same complaints but it's kinda taboo. While I don't exactly want a relaxer, mainly because I do love the look of my natural hair and big hair, it's really a pain in the butt. Wigs and weaves are not an option so I feel torn.

Yeah, I feel you. I've been wearing my real hair all the time lately, because I want to feel beautiful with the hair I have. I honestly think the growth has helped me a bit, because I know there are some quick styles I can do that are still flattering. That's why i think my hair is much easier now. I used to be near tears trying to do my hair for work or school when it hadn't stretched/dried enough and it was short, lol.

There's an underlying theme though, of what is presentable, and having to go through a multitude of steps to achieve that look, and feel attractive.

 

[SAPNK]

To my mom they are
Hi mom if you're reading
I went out the other day and felt self conscious of my celie twists pulled in a low ponytail. Did I look terrible? No...
Did I feel good ...
I felt my hair just looked homely... thank goodness my entire look sorta pulled it off.

I actually wear plaits . Small ones. I think they're cute. But I do 4-6 large ones to dry my hair, and I feel I can't leave the house with them. I had to once, and I was embarrassed.
I see what you meant about not feeling free. I don't want to be trapped by my hair, so that's been part of my journey. Simplicity, fun, length, confidence, and freedom. All in one. Sounds impossible, but what the heck. I'm still going for it. I don't want to be miserable with my super long locks!

That's why I asked the question. I've been reading a lot of forums, and communities, just trying to figure out where all the waist length 4cs are and the overall feeling a lot of people have about their kinky hair is that it's such a burden.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

No. I've simplified my routine by wearing a wash and go 90% of the time. Wash day is an hour and a half tops. 30-45 mins of that is deep conditioning.

If it took me 3 and 4 hours each time I did my hair, I'd chop it off. Not even joking.

 

[Alma Petra]

No. I've simplified my routine by wearing a wash and go 90% of the time. Wash day is an hour and a half tops. 30-45 mins of that is deep conditioning.

If it took me 3 and 4 hours each time I did my hair, I'd chop it off. Not even joking.

How many days do you usually get out of it?

 

[oneastrocurlie]

How many days do you usually get out of it?

At least 4. My front is the first section to start to poof up by day 4 so I've recently started adding a cute little top knot or twisting the front up in flat twist. That'll give me an extra day or 2. A week is the absolute max. At that point the back of my head is full fro.

 

[LivingInPeace]

Well, I said it was a lot of work but I don’t mind. And I’m really just comparing it to the lack of work I put into my relaxed hair. And I’m reading other posts and I guess I don’t really feel a sense of burden when it comes to my hair.
If my hair isn’t acting right, the easiest solution is soaking it with water and putting a styler in it for a wash and go.
I usually have my hair in a Bantu knot out. It takes me about twenty minutes to put it in the Bantu knots at night and a few minutes to take out and fluff in the morning.

 

[Alma Petra]

At least 4. My front is the first section to start to poof up by day 4 so I've recently started adding a cute little top knot or twisting the front up in flat twist. That'll give me an extra day or 2. A week is the absolute max. At that point the back of my head is full fro.

This is awesome! If I can get up to 4 days out of my wash and go, I'll be more than satisfied.

What's your best combo at the moment, and how do you preserve your hair at night? Do you refresh in the morning?

 

[Alma Petra]

In fact I am going to wash my hair now. I am going to time myself and try to get it done as quickly as possible. I was going to deep condition but I think I will skip it now. I hope I won't regret this decision tomorrow haha.

So I timed myself and it took me exactly 40 minutes to wash and style my hair. I didn't deep condition and I didn't dry my hair. I will dry it tomorrow morning and I'll then let you know how it turns out.