Do you breath life into old relationships?
- Thread starter JLove74
- Start date
sexyeyes3616
New Member
Its hard to forget about the person and release it when there is a soul tie there. Some women can heal fast and some women it may take awhile.
robot.
New Member
it depends on who i'm pining over, i suppose. but i've been raised not to lose my head over some random dude. if it's over and i'm sure there's nothing i can do, then i respect their decision. i mope for a bit because it's part of the healing process and then i go on with life. :]
BrownSkin2
Well-Known Member
It depends on how serious the relationship was. Either way, I can move on after moping for a few about it especially if I wasn't happy.
Ramya
New Member
I'm rational before emotional when it comes to things so I'm the type that once it's done it's done. I might miss his company but other than that I'm probably the one that will move on more quickly. I see the relationship for what it was and not what I wished it would have been and keep it moving.
I agree with this. It depends on who it is for me.
I agree with this. For me most of the time no, once its over that is it. But this one man
I had a rough time over...... so he was different. Soul ties are very hard to over come, I found out the hard way.
Pheonixx
New Member
Typically no...I've only had 3 serious relationships. Every relationship in between I ended and felt nothing afterwards. They were just 'some dudes'.
My first relationship just ended. I cared him but it was best that we split.
The second relationship he cheated so I was like, "Bye...".
But 6 yrs later, why does this fool STILL call me his wife whenever he sees me? Talking about some, 'I love you...lets' get back together..."
I told him, "to eat ish and die..."
My last relationship...really tore me up inside.
But we were right for each other. I felt it.
It was an issue of circumstance that stopped us. It took me almost 2 yrs to get over him. And it only ended because I broke it off and moved away.
Because whenever we saw each other, It was like, time actually slowed down...and we'd both be looking at each other with the same dazed expression.
LOL
It's weird. I don't know.
I'd never even felt that level of feeling for my FIRST love.
No lie.
There aren't too many men who get under my skin like --and I don't get caught up like that. But my ex just did it for me.
I still forced myself to move on and date others (like that weekend following the week that i'd broken it off). I was rebounding HARD. I thought that was the best way to get over it---and it usually is. But it didn't help really.
I'm cool right now. I'm dating right now. He's a wonderful man. I like him more than I've liked someone in a long time--but I haven't actually committed myself to him. I still have thoughts of another in the back of my mind, so how could I?
The fire is smoldering...but it's still alive.
Ah well....
My first relationship just ended. I cared him but it was best that we split.
The second relationship he cheated so I was like, "Bye...".
But 6 yrs later, why does this fool STILL call me his wife whenever he sees me? Talking about some, 'I love you...lets' get back together..."
I told him, "to eat ish and die..."
My last relationship...really tore me up inside.
But we were right for each other. I felt it.
It was an issue of circumstance that stopped us. It took me almost 2 yrs to get over him. And it only ended because I broke it off and moved away.
Because whenever we saw each other, It was like, time actually slowed down...and we'd both be looking at each other with the same dazed expression.
LOL
It's weird. I don't know.
I'd never even felt that level of feeling for my FIRST love.
No lie.
There aren't too many men who get under my skin like --and I don't get caught up like that. But my ex just did it for me.
I still forced myself to move on and date others (like that weekend following the week that i'd broken it off). I was rebounding HARD. I thought that was the best way to get over it---and it usually is. But it didn't help really.
I'm cool right now. I'm dating right now. He's a wonderful man. I like him more than I've liked someone in a long time--but I haven't actually committed myself to him. I still have thoughts of another in the back of my mind, so how could I?
The fire is smoldering...but it's still alive.
Ah well....
Divine Inspiration
Well-Known Member
I agree with Sexyeyes.
One of the biggest mistakes I made in my last breakup was trying to make myself be over him just because the relationship was over and I "shouldn't" care anymore. Fighting my overwhelming grief and disappointment only prolonged the process. Too many people repeated the "Just move on"/"There's somebody better out there"/"You'll be fine"/"Just focus on other things" mantras when what I really needed to hear was that it is completely fine for me to be sad, to cry, and to feel a little misplaced.
I had to discover on my own that a broken heart heals at its own pace. Every relationship will not be the same and will not have the same impact on you and therefore you will not be "over it" in the same length of time.
I would say I spent a little more in depth recovery time on this last breakup because it did impact me in a major way but also because I was determined to learn all I could from the experience...about him, about me, and about the dynamic between us. I squeezed the juice out of it, and now I feel so much better for it.
So, I agree that oftentimes, revisiting the situation is not always the best course of action, and I tend to be an all or none type of person when it comes to those types of things...but I do know that there are exceptions, and I realize now that just because you take a little longer to process the breakup doesn't mean something is wrong with you or that you should rush or that you want to get back with him. It may mean that a profound work is being done in you that will serve to strengthen you and present you impeccably prepared for the next opportunity before you. It happened to me and now that there's a new guy I'm considering, I'm actually glad that I took my time and moped and processed the grief. I'm stronger and wiser for it.
One of the biggest mistakes I made in my last breakup was trying to make myself be over him just because the relationship was over and I "shouldn't" care anymore. Fighting my overwhelming grief and disappointment only prolonged the process. Too many people repeated the "Just move on"/"There's somebody better out there"/"You'll be fine"/"Just focus on other things" mantras when what I really needed to hear was that it is completely fine for me to be sad, to cry, and to feel a little misplaced.
I had to discover on my own that a broken heart heals at its own pace. Every relationship will not be the same and will not have the same impact on you and therefore you will not be "over it" in the same length of time.
I would say I spent a little more in depth recovery time on this last breakup because it did impact me in a major way but also because I was determined to learn all I could from the experience...about him, about me, and about the dynamic between us. I squeezed the juice out of it, and now I feel so much better for it.
So, I agree that oftentimes, revisiting the situation is not always the best course of action, and I tend to be an all or none type of person when it comes to those types of things...but I do know that there are exceptions, and I realize now that just because you take a little longer to process the breakup doesn't mean something is wrong with you or that you should rush or that you want to get back with him. It may mean that a profound work is being done in you that will serve to strengthen you and present you impeccably prepared for the next opportunity before you. It happened to me and now that there's a new guy I'm considering, I'm actually glad that I took my time and moped and processed the grief. I'm stronger and wiser for it.
SunySydeofLyfe
Well-Known Member
I agree with Sexyeyes.
One of the biggest mistakes I made in my last breakup was trying to make myself be over him just because the relationship was over and I "shouldn't" care anymore. Fighting my overwhelming grief and disappointment only prolonged the process. Too many people repeated the "Just move on"/"There's somebody better out there"/"You'll be fine"/"Just focus on other things" mantras when what I really needed to hear was that it is completely fine for me to be sad, to cry, and to feel a little misplaced.
I had to discover on my own that a broken heart heals at its own pace. Every relationship will not be the same and will not have the same impact on you and therefore you will not be "over it" in the same length of time.
I would say I spent a little more in depth recovery time on this last breakup because it did impact me in a major way but also because I was determined to learn all I could from the experience...about him, about me, and about the dynamic between us. I squeezed the juice out of it, and now I feel so much better for it.
So, I agree that oftentimes, revisiting the situation is not always the best course of action, and I tend to be an all or none type of person when it comes to those types of things...but I do know that there are exceptions, and I realize now that just because you take a little longer to process the breakup doesn't mean something is wrong with you or that you should rush or that you want to get back with him. It may mean that a profound work is being done in you that will serve to strengthen you and present you impeccably prepared for the next opportunity before you. It happened to me and now that there's a new guy I'm considering, I'm actually glad that I took my time and moped and processed the grief. I'm stronger and wiser for it.
Wow mama!! That was very well put!! Thank you for that perspective!