Divorcees: People Who Try and "See Why" You're Divorced

[auparavant]

That's something I cannot stand - people who stand back, learn you're divorced and thereafter are examining every single piece of you to satisfy their curiosity on why you're divorced. Ever dealt with such people? You see them at church, on the job, via other acquaintances. With every idiosyncracy you have or even being late for work once...they are there, calculating "oh, this is why, she is irresponsible..." or "she's upset about this particular xyz so she must have an anger problem" or whichever measures they measure you with.

It never ceases either. How could they know unless they ask? And they rarely never do cuz it's impolite. Well, so is judging and measuring another person. I figure that they weren't in it, so they can't possibly know all the variables. Shrugs. Anybody else???

 

[auparavant]

How did this double post? I only posted it in the "divorce" forum...can the mods please delete this????


ETA: Nevermind...that was a quickly rectified glitch.

 

[MyCoilsGoBoing]

Yep. I tell them to talk to my ex-husband. Will whip out the cell phone and everything. They don't ask anymore after that.

 

[Lucie]

I tell people it did not work out. I do find the smugness funny though.

 

[DarkJoy]

No. I don't give people a chance to act like that. I just cut off conversation. Because I don't care.

Matter of fact, most people I know are on their second (and some 3rd or 4th!) marriage, so they give their sympathies mostly.

 

[auparavant]

It's not so much them asking...it's them trying to figure you out and it's obvious...they are looking at everything you do to form an opinion on something they know absolutely nothing about.

 

[simone103]

The only thing that I noticed when I went through a divorce was that most of the time the people who either had the most to say to me and/or judged were single never-been married people. Most of the time those who were either married or divorced said their condolences to me and kept it moving.

 

[sunnydaze]

It's not so much them asking...it's them trying to figure you out and it's obvious...they are looking at everything you do to form an opinion on something they know absolutely nothing about.

This. I've had men (single) who find out I am divorced and assume I divorced b/c I was cheated on and say it (which is not the reason). I get irritated and offended at the same time.

 

[shortycocoa]

Yep. I tell them to talk to my ex-husband. Will whip out the cell phone and everything. They don't ask anymore after that.

I know that's right!

I dislike those kinds of people though.....and the ones who just want to know why you're divorced, just to be nosy.