Divorce

[nikipovi]

I am in the process of the beginning stages of filing for divorce. This is definitely not something that I am wanting. I am having a hard time dealing with it. I have missed a lot of time at work because I just don't want to get out of bed. When I do wake up, I have really bad anxiety and nervousness. Anybody that has gone through a divorce, can someone please help me out. I really need some advice on how you made it through it. I pray and I have a really strong support system but I still can't seem to get over it. I can't take any medications because I am pregnant so that doesn't help the situation either (yes, it is my husband's child).

 

[kisz4tj]

Sorry to hear about this. I'll pm you.

 

[Caramela]

(((( Niki))))) I'm so sorry. I haven't gone through this, and don't have any advice to offer but your post is heartbreaking.
Everything is intensified when you're pregnant, so I know this is extremely difficult to go through right now. Try to focus on the beautiful baby you're carrying and try to surround yourself with people you love. Do things that make you happy.
If you need me, you can PM me. I might not have a lot of useful advice but I am here to listen to you and be a shoulder.
Again, I am truly sorry.
I promise it will get better

 

[blueabyss333]

Same hear, I don't know what it's like to even have been in a relationship so serious. But I would like to offer my heartfelt condolences. I pray that everything goes well, including the birth of your child. Stay strong, I'm sorry.

 

[SweetCaramel1]

i am so sorry about this. i haven't been divorced but i lived with a man for 10 years (my first love) and we seperated which was very painful.

i cried alot about it, everything was new. i was not used to being alone at all. many nights i cried myself to sleep thinking that i was not going to make it.

it helped alot to stay busy. i started working out more and did whatever i could (tv, books, writing, exercising.....) to keep my mind off it. church is also a good outlet and place to go to for motivation and support. my best friend helped by listening.

what i think is really important is counseling. alot of us (blacks) don't or have never been to counseling. it can really help. i went for the first time a few months ago and it helped to go have a non-judgemental ear and it's free!

i hope your heart heals soon. again, i'm sorry this is happening. please feel free to contact me for support.

god bless

 

[NoNapNique]

I am so sorry... I have some things to share, I will pm you...

 

[kisz4tj]

I co-sign 1000% re: counseling.

 

[nikipovi]

I really appreciate everyone's comments. I am actually going to do some counseling. I have my first session tonight.

 

[LizLeila]

I am sorry that you are going through this right now, especially during such a sensitive time as pregnancy. I will pray for you and your family. Dont be afraid to lean on those who are there to support you. Wish I had better advice, but know that my thoughts are really with you.

 

[MzTami]

I feel your pain and I am sorry that you have to go through this at such a sensitive time in your life. I would suggest time and prayer to heal all wounds. I believe in the saying, "What don't kill you, will only make you stronger." I know that you will pull through this stronger than ever.

I don't know your husband, but leaving or divorcing a woman while she is pregnant speaks a lot about ones character. I personally wouldn't want him!

 

[MizAvalon]

Aww, I'm really sorry to hear this Niki. I don't really have any advice, just wanted to say God Bless You and good luck with the baby.

 

[MissYocairis]

Nikipovi, why do you have to file NOW? I mean, is there a particular reason why this has to be done during your pregnancy versus maybe a year from now when you are stronger and less vulnerable? You may want to consider waiting. I filed for divorce but I did not do so for a full 2 years after I had left my husband. I just wasn't ready. Was I sure I wasn't going back? Yes. Did that make it easy to just up and file? Nope. I just had to grow to be ready. Become accustomed to my new life choice of leaving the marriage, etc. Put things in perspective over time. Then, I was comfortable and ready after two years. It's okay to separate and take your time with the rest if you are having this hard of a time. I wish you the best.