DISCOURAGED....Just when I thought everything was going well.

[Mandy4610]

My natural hair has been doing really well over the last 2 months or so and I have really been enjoying it. It was doing so well that I thought for sure I can do this for at least until my nappiversary. I made a commitment to stay natural for at least a year (March 09)
Well, in the last two weeks I have been noticing that my ends did not look great at all. So yesterday I decided to do a thorough inspection, I did not see any split ends, but I knew that I had to do something to clean up the ends a bit, so I decided to dust my ends.

OMG...I COULD NOT BELIEVE HOW MANY SINGLE STRAND KNOTS I HAD

I am not exaggerating, I had tones of them.

There is not way I can do this with this many knots.
I am very frustrated, man I wish I could find a good stylist who does natural hair in my city. I am so sick of tackling this myself.
Natural DIY is starting to be too much.

I really want to make it to one year..I owe myself that, but I am very discouraged right now.

Oh and my should has been giving me so much pain lately to a point that detangling is becoming too much (I have a problem with my muscles suspected fibromyalgia)

I was doing so well

Sorry, I know I have made a lot of many threads over the last two days

 

[Nonie]

Why don't you braid or twist your hair and leave it alone for a bit? I rarely get knots but that is probably because I mostly wear my hair braided or twisted.

How do you wear your hair at bedtime? What's your daily styling routine?

 

[Jaxhair]

Hey girl,

I get you on the high maintenance issue with nappy hair, but I'd encourage you to stick it out some. I'm only new to proper haircare too and it certainly isn't an easy ride, however, natural is the only option for me and would never be tempted to alter my texture with chemicals. My hair is at it's healthiest since I was a kid and I just love it this way. The longest I ever had it relaxed/curly permed was shoulder length but it was always thin and nasty looking and breaking. I'm looking at getting to SL and I'm loving the thickness of it from root to tip and I'm not dealing with excessive breaking.

How do you wear your hair and how do you detangle etc? I find that as my hair grows longer, I'm having to alter the way I handle it. I only have 4 maybe 5 inches of hair right now and leaving it lose for days on end has become a most definite no no for me as it tangles something wrong. I'll wear an afro occassionally but I'm mindful of the tangles as I always twist or braid afterwards even if I'm as tired as death, then I'll gently detangle in sections when I'm less tired. If I wash my hair I must do it in braided sections too as my strands have a tendency to hold on to each other and hang on for dear life if I let them shrink up into one big messy ball - I cannot deal with the detangling afterwards - plus it ruins my hair big time if I try to do it without sections - I cannot just pick at my hair like I did when it was shorter, I can hear the tangled knotted hairs snapping apart and almost can feel the splits and knots building up . My new motto is to do everything I do to my hair in manageable sections. I can get 7 big twists or box braids on my head comfortably now or when I'm super tired/lazy, I can get 3 untidy corn rows - the only time I leave it lose is when it's stretched for an afro though I still have to do a mini detangling session after that. I also try to twist all the way to the very last ends so there's no chance for the ends to knot together. Hope you get some encouragement girl. Fotki and these wonderful haircare forums are my lifeline... browse away when you feel discouraged and you'll perk right up and get your attitude to your hair a much needed lift. Fotki in particuloar is great for me as I can see the evidence staring at me in the face and I feel all positive afterwards.

Hope you feel better soon - don't forget to moisturise those ends well and proper too! HHG and HTH!

 

[Mandy4610]

Why don't you braid or twist your hair and leave it alone for a bit? I rarely get knots but that is probably because I mostly wear my hair braided or twisted.

How do you wear your hair at bedtime? What's your daily styling routine?

I wish I could braid or twist. I can not find a stylist that knows one bit about natural hair and I can not twist to save my life because my shoulder hurts too much

I always wear a satin cap to bed, I moisturise daily (some times twice), I know I need to seal more often.
I wear my hair one week in shrunken TWA and one week stretched (blownout)

Hey girl,

I get you on the high maintenance issue with nappy hair, but I'd encourage you to stick it out some. I'm only new to proper haircare too and it certainly isn't an easy ride, however, natural is the only option for me and would never be tempted to alter my texture with chemicals. My hair is at it's healthiest since I was a kid and I just love it this way. The longest I ever had it relaxed/curly permed was shoulder length but it was always thin and nasty looking and breaking. I'm looking at getting to SL and I'm loving the thickness of it from root to tip and I'm not dealing with excessive breaking.

How do you wear your hair and how do you detangle etc? I find that as my hair grows longer, I'm having to alter the way I handle it. I only have 4 maybe 5 inches of hair right now and leaving it lose for days on end has become a most definite no no for me as it tangles something wrong. I'll wear an afro occassionally but I'm mindful of the tangles as I always twist or braid afterwards even if I'm as tired as death, then I'll gently detangle in sections when I'm less tired. If I wash my hair I must do it in braided sections too as my strands have a tendency to hold on to each other and hang on for dear life if I let them shrink up into one big messy ball - I cannot deal with the detangling afterwards - plus it ruins my hair big time if I try to do it without sections - I cannot just pick at my hair like I did when it was shorter, I can hear the tangled knotted hairs snapping apart and almost can feel the splits and knots building up . My new motto is to do everything I do to my hair in manageable sections. I can get 7 big twists or box braids on my head comfortably now or when I'm super tired/lazy, I can get 3 untidy corn rows - the only time I leave it lose is when it's stretched for an afro though I still have to do a mini detangling session after that. I also try to twist all the way to the very last ends so there's no chance for the ends to knot together. Hope you get some encouragement girl. Fotki and these wonderful haircare forums are my lifeline... browse away when you feel discouraged and you'll perk right up and get your attitude to your hair a much needed lift. Fotki in particuloar is great for me as I can see the evidence staring at me in the face and I feel all positive afterwards.

Hope you feel better soon - don't forget to moisturise those ends well and proper too! HHG and HTH!

Thank you so much. I always detangle with conditioner and oil. I usually don't have a problem detangling, it hurts my shoulder some times, but with ORS mayo and some oils, I can detangle fairly quickly.
May have to satrt the hunt for a natural stylist again. I just need someone that can braid my own hair. I can not stand extentions and they just chew up my hair line.

 

[trj1922]

I get ridiculous single strand knots too. I agree with Nonie that the key to reducing their number is to keep the hair contained rather than loose. Also, frequent detangling when the hair is loose and tons of moisture seems to help with the hair snagging on itself.

Truthfully, though, some hair types are just prone to this and once you have them minimized as much as possible, you may want to ignore the few that are left if they are not causing any problems.

 

[Tallone]

Detangle! Get a good wide tooth comb like Jilbere. Do you cowash? Also alot of ladies swear by castor oil to keep the knots at bay.

 

[Bint Yusef]

Ive found with natural hair you cant ignore it for a week at a time, at least not mine. The major setbacks Ive had with tangling is because I thought I could just leave my hair out a week at a time and throw some leave in on and it was fine...nononono. So if you are wearing it in its shrunken state and just putting on a cap at night , then you will probably have issues. I would advise you to devise some sort of nightly routine if you must wear your hair out during the day...some kind of moisture and hair containment routine(bantus, plaits, braids, even a few buns) and focus on those ends with something like castor, and use your fingers for very gentle detangling...shouldnt take more than 15 minutes. If you want to do less work keep it braided up or twisted up.

 

[Mandy4610]

Ive found with natural hair you cant ignore it for a week at a time, at least not mine. The major setbacks Ive had with tangling is because I thought I could just leave my hair out a week at a time and throw some leave in on and it was fine...nononono. So if you are wearing it in its shrunken state and just putting on a cap at night , then you will probably have issues. I would advise you to devise some sort of nightly routine if you must wear your hair out during the day...some kind of moisture and hair containment routine(bantus, plaits, braids, even a few buns) and focus on those ends with something like castor, and use your fingers for very gentle detangling...shouldnt take more than 15 minutes. If you want to do less work keep it braided up or twisted up.

Thanks.
See the thing is that my hair is not that long when not stretched, so what can I do to protect the ends when I am wearing a TWA. Even when t is stretched there is not much I can do with it. I normally just moisturize it and put on a satin scarf before bed. In the am I moisturize again (if I am wearing a blown out puff) or I cowash (if I am wearing a shrunken TWA)

 

[Bint Yusef]

I would suggest plaiting your hair or putting it in a few mini buns at night after having put extra moisture and a sealant on those ends before you put on the cap. Are you literally just putting your loose hair under your cap at night before bed?

 

[locabouthair]

Honestly, I think it's almost impossible to have natural hair and not have single strand knots. I had knots galore when I was natural, I just accepted it as something my hair does. Lots of naturals here get them as well.

I think if you keep trimming to get rid of them , you'll always be cutting your hair. For some reason the hair just likes to knot onto itself..

 

[Mandy4610]

I would suggest plaiting your hair or putting it in a few mini buns at night after having put extra moisture and a sealant on those ends before you put on the cap. Are you literally just putting your loose hair under your cap at night before bed?

Yes
Is that bad?


Ok, here are some pics to show my length when shrunken and my length when stretched: I wear a satin scarf to bed on top of both of these. I never do anything with it (ok..Sometimes when it is stretched, I band it, but when shrunken, I have no idea what I can do with it.)

 

[Mandy4610]

Bumping...................

 

[Rain20]

Mandy your hair looks pretty healthy. I have never had knots before, but maybe laying on the hair at night is causing matting and tangling. Maybe you should keep your hair stretched/detangled and do individual braids at night. The braids do not have to be pretty and then cover with a scarf.

 

[TrustMeLove]

Well, I see that you have some type of muscle issues which inhibit you from doing two strand twist and other hands in the air for a long period of time styles.

Alot of the styles that might help to alleviate the single strand kntos, which I am also a victim of, are these styles such as twist and plats that help to keep the hair from tangling.

Since you do have this condition or situation with your muscles I am going to offer some unpopular advice.

Either you find a lovely friend or family member to help you with the twist and pay them because it is alot fo work, you just become comfortable with the single strand knots, or you can start heat stretching your hair....ya know become a pressed sista.

If you start heat stretching you need to revamp your regimen to be able to handle heat etc.

I really do sympathize with your situation. It's like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place on the single strand knot issue.

 

[Mandy4610]

Well, I see that you have some type of muscle issues which inhibit you from doing two strand twist and other hands in the air for a long period of time styles.

Alot of the styles that might help to alleviate the single strand kntos, which I am also a victim of, are these styles such as twist and plats that help to keep the hair from tangling.

Since you do have this condition or situation with your muscles I am going to offer some unpopular advice.

Either you find a lovely friend or family member to help you with the twist and pay them because it is alot fo work, you just become comfortable with the single strand knots, or you can start heat stretching your hair....ya know become a pressed sista.

If you start heat stretching you need to revamp your regimen to be able to handle heat etc.

I really do sympathize with your situation. It's like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place on the single strand knot issue.

Yeah, it is starting to feel like that.

 

[msa]

Mandy, I completely understand what you're going through. I have lupus and sometimes I physically just can't do my hair because my hands are in too much pain.

You've already gotten some good advice. I only get knots when I let my hair shrink up. Also, you should be doing something to your hair before you put your cap on. I usually put it in four braids (that stick out weird cuz my hair is short when it shrinks) and then put on my cap. If i'm wearing a bantu knot out then I just do some bantu knots and put on my cap.

The main issue you have is you need to find a style that you can do within your limitations. I suggest that you NEVER let your hair shrink up...make wash-n-go's and shrunken fro's a thing of the past. I've actually decided to prohibit myself from doing them for all of 2009 because it causes way too many knots, we can be buddies if you want to join me.

I stretch my hair two ways: braids and bantu knots. I do them both on damp-wet hair and dried overnight. If I do braids then I usually just pin it up some kind of way once I take the braids out. Braids stretches my hair the most. If I do bantu knot outs then I wear a curly fro for the next 1-2 days and then pin up. Both I'm able to do pretty quickly 30mins-1hour.

I also do two strand twists on my hair, but I never wear them down only pinned up. It takes longer but I can also keep them in for at least a week. I usually take some tylenol if I'm going to do twists cuz my hands do start to hurt while I do them.

It is possible to avoid knots. When I only wear stretched styles I do not get ANY knots. Shrunken hair automatically means knots, no matter how moisturized or detangled my hair is. Continue to experiment because believe me, you don't need anyone else to do your hair. You can do it yourself, it will just take practice and patience.

 

[Mandy4610]

Mandy, I completely understand what you're going through. I have lupus and sometimes I physically just can't do my hair because my hands are in too much pain.

You've already gotten some good advice. I only get knots when I let my hair shrink up. Also, you should be doing something to your hair before you put your cap on. I usually put it in four braids (that stick out weird cuz my hair is short when it shrinks) and then put on my cap. If i'm wearing a bantu knot out then I just do some bantu knots and put on my cap.

The main issue you have is you need to find a style that you can do within your limitations. I suggest that you NEVER let your hair shrink up...make wash-n-go's and shrunken fro's a thing of the past. I've actually decided to prohibit myself from doing them for all of 2009 because it causes way too many knots, we can be buddies if you want to join me.

I stretch my hair two ways: braids and bantu knots. I do them both on damp-wet hair and dried overnight. If I do braids then I usually just pin it up some kind of way once I take the braids out. Braids stretches my hair the most. If I do bantu knot outs then I wear a curly fro for the next 1-2 days and then pin up. Both I'm able to do pretty quickly 30mins-1hour.

I also do two strand twists on my hair, but I never wear them down only pinned up. It takes longer but I can also keep them in for at least a week. I usually take some tylenol if I'm going to do twists cuz my hands do start to hurt while I do them.

It is possible to avoid knots. When I only wear stretched styles I do not get ANY knots. Shrunken hair automatically means knots, no matter how moisturized or detangled my hair is. Continue to experiment because believe me, you don't need anyone else to do your hair. You can do it yourself, it will just take practice and patience.

Thank you. I would love to partner up. I need to find a style that works, especially given my length of hair.