Disappointed and need to vent...

[FAMUDva]

This is not a long rant... just a quick vent.

I've been on LHCF since Nov 05 and certainly had some great progess at points during that time... but right now I'm so disappointed. I feel disappointed not in my journey to transition or the health of my hair, but in the look of my hair

I mean it's still thick, BUT it has parts in the back that are growing out longer than other parts. And the main reason why I wasn't seeing progress for years before LHCF and haven't seen the type of progress I could see is because my hair ALWAYS has to be trimmed neat to match the shorter side

I have not trimmed yet, but certainly do plan to start back going to get my hair done regularly. I figure with the help of somone who specializes in hair care and the things I've learned here, I should be alright. I'm just tired of looking like a broke college student when I'm not. The type of frustration I feel right now is usually when I feel like it's not worth trying. I will think positively after I post this vent, but I had to get the negative out so that I can move on...

URGGGGGGGGGHHH!

 

[Whimsy]

AWWWWW ((HUGGZ))
Don't be down.
Why do you always trim to match the shorter side? Try curly styles so the length difference isn't so noticeable?
Maybe hide your hair in braids or under wigs/weaves till everything evens out?

 

[Angelicus]

I feel the SAME way! But you know what makes me feel better? Looking at old pictures of my damaged, thin, short hair! I look at those pics and notice how far I have come. Even though my hair isn't as long as it was before, it sure looks better than when I started.

Dust yourself off and try again!

 

[gymfreak336]

Don't give up. Make some adjustments and then get back on the horse. We all have to do that time to time. I think you have beautiful hair btw

 

[TrendySocialite]

I go through those moments pretty often.

I use phony buns, ponies, half wigs, etc. when I feel like my own hair isn't at its best. That has helped me with the frustration. I'm sure your hair isn't quite as bad as you think, we are often are own worst critics.

I agree with maybe wearing updo's or rollersets to help disguise any unevenness until it gets to length you want.

From that pic in your avatar, your honey seems to like it...LOL

 

[ackee walk]

Aww, I understand how you feel FD. I feel that way sometimes too.

But I just checked out your fotki. Do you need to trim to even it all up seeing as how you will be BCing eventually anyway? If you plan on wearing your hair kinky/curly, maybe the different lengths won't be so obvious and maybe your hair will eventually even up on its own.

Either way, your hair is beautiful and you are doing a great job with your transition. Be encouraged!

 

[audacity.]

my hair is the same way...i mean EXACTLY the same...

since i stopped going to the shop, i now notice how uneven and just UGH my hair is. i never noticed this before because my stylists always kept my hair nice and even - picture perfect so to speak.

i am at the point in my journey that i am learning to love my hair in its "raw" state.

what i mean by that is loving my hair even though it doens't look like what i "think" it should look like.

don't give up and introduce scissors back into your regimen. they aren't the debil, but if long hair is your desire, frequent trims/dustings won't get you there (trust me, i know...)

definitely try some curly styles while you are growing so that your imperfections aren't so noticable. and know that EVERYONE deals with something about their hair that they don't like. it's just like a woman's body...we may look at "her" and be like WOW she is amazing! while she's looking at herself like ugh, i can't stand the sight of x, y or z...

hope i've helped, sis!

you truly aren't alone!

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

Must be something in the water because I feel the exact same way.

I feel so homely. Even though I'm a few inches away from BSL (again) I feel like it's just not worth it if I always have to look unpolished and always have to wear it up...

 

[Quest4healthyhair]

Whimsy,
I hear what you're saying, but you know when one side of your hair is shorter than the other, you just don't feel right. The same thing happened and I tried to hide it, but I knew deep down I had to cut, so I did.

AWWWWW ((HUGGZ))
Don't be down.
Why do you always trim to match the shorter side? Try curly styles so the length difference isn't so noticeable?
Maybe hide your hair in braids or under wigs/weaves till everything evens out?

 

[FAMUDva]

I'll try to answer in parts

AWWWWW ((HUGGZ))
Don't be down.
Why do you always trim to match the shorter side? Try curly styles so the length difference isn't so noticeable?
Maybe hide your hair in braids or under wigs/weaves till everything evens out?

I've tried twist outs and roller sets. They are cool sometimes, but honestly twist outs tend to make my hair look matted after the 1st day and so I'm good on day 1 and have to shampoo the next day. And since I have thick hair, I'm at the point where roller setting at home is becoming unbearable sometimes.

Unfortunately I'm not a fan of wigs/weaves for myself. I will get my mom to cornrow my hair in the spring/summer, but that's about it.

I feel the SAME way! But you know what makes me feel better? Looking at old pictures of my damaged, thin, short hair! I look at those pics and notice how far I have come. Even though my hair isn't as long as it was before, it sure looks better than when I started.

Dust yourself off and try again!

That's the thing... Before LHCF I had "Oprah" hair according to my old stylist... the only issue was that it was never health or thickness, but length And unfortunately I STILL don't have length to show for it right now

But thanks girl, I'm gonna dust it off and chalk it up to a feeling that will pass

I go through those moments pretty often.

I use phony buns, ponies, half wigs, etc. when I feel like my own hair isn't at its best. That has helped me with the frustration. I'm sure your hair isn't quite as bad as you think, we are often are own worst critics.

I agree with maybe wearing updo's or rollersets to help disguise any unevenness until it gets to length you want.

From that pic in your avatar, your honey seems to like it...LOL

Girl, he'd love me bald! LOL! That's what makes him so special

Aww, I understand how you feel FD. I feel that way sometimes too.

But I just checked out your fotki. Do you need to trim to even it all up seeing as how you will be BCing eventually anyway? If you plan on wearing your hair kinky/curly, maybe the different lengths won't be so obvious and maybe your hair will eventually even up on its own.

Either way, your hair is beautiful and you are doing a great job with your transition. Be encouraged!

I won't be BC until December (probably). I do wear curly sets that do hide it, but I like getting jazzy like the next chick and sometimes I like to wear it straight and swanging . So while I don't have to even it out, it does look healthier and more polished when it's not lopsided and with spaces in the back. I think my bun may be a problem too. Even though I bun with satin elastics, I think I bun too often.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

I feel this way too. I just got my hair cut a few months ago, but it seems like I need it again because my right side is longer than my left. *sigh*. I agree with others, you should let it grow out and catch up before trimming. I doubt it's that noticeable as you think. We criticize our own selves hard

 

[FAMUDva]

my hair is the same way...i mean EXACTLY the same...

since i stopped going to the shop, i now notice how uneven and just UGH my hair is. i never noticed this before because my stylists always kept my hair nice and even - picture perfect so to speak.

i am at the point in my journey that i am learning to love my hair in its "raw" state.

what i mean by that is loving my hair even though it doens't look like what i "think" it should look like.

don't give up and introduce scissors back into your regimen. they aren't the debil, but if long hair is your desire, frequent trims/dustings won't get you there (trust me, i know...)

definitely try some curly styles while you are growing so that your imperfections aren't so noticable. and know that EVERYONE deals with something about their hair that they don't like. it's just like a woman's body...we may look at "her" and be like WOW she is amazing! while she's looking at herself like ugh, i can't stand the sight of x, y or z...

hope i've helped, sis!

you truly aren't alone!

Thanks for the encouraging words everyone. It does help to know I'm not alone...

I guess what bothers me most is that I have friends that are or have transitioned while I'm in the process and their hair is ALWAYS swanging! I think my progress (or lack thereof) bothers me more than anything. When I wrote this vent I was thinking, "dang, I know about 3-4 people personally that started transitioning when I did and either are done or still going and their hair looks better than mine!". In most cases their hair is already longer when they started out shorter than my start length. And although I did get a 2 inch trim in June, my hair is about the same length now as it was then

I'm gonna dust it off like y'all said and keep it moving. There is nothing I can really do in the short term anyway. So, I'll go back to not watching this pot boil.

Thanks again ladies for the encouragement!

 

[FAMUDva]

I feel this way too. I just got my hair cut a few months ago, but it seems like I need it again because my right side is longer than my left. *sigh*. I agree with others, you should let it grow out and catch up before trimming. I doubt it's that noticeable as you think. We criticize our own selves hard

Maybe you're right about the criticizing ourselves harder than others... That's the primary reason I didn't even take pics last night after I pressed my hair.

I'll be going to a guy who specializes in natural hair care on Feb. 4th to get him to flat iron my hair and do a steam treatment. The friend who recommended me to him told me NOT to let him cut because while he is fierce with the scissors, she said he will cut/trim so that everything looks neat and even and that's not exactly what I want right now. Although I'm not the chick that will have raggedy looking hair for the sake of length.