"Did you put your hair back in that bun thing?""

[MrsSmitty77]

Okay so here's the situation. My mother don't seem to understand why I wear my hair in a bun all the time for growth. She has always believe that ponytails breakoff your hair and wraps grow it. In her words it not healthy for the hair not to get any air.erplexed I'm like the air is what robs your freakin hair of moisture so she's like do you oil you scalp every night. Her idea of oiling hair is Blue Majic to the scalp every night. I told her puting grease on your scalp and actually moisturizing your hair is two different things. Okay to the quote title quote.
This weekend I blew out my hair with a cool blow dryer and flat ironed with my Chi products. (we had a family BBQ) She was commenting on how nice my hair is growing and how soft it was yadda, yadda. So she calls me this morning and says "Are you still wearing your wrap or did you put it back in that bun thing?" I started laughing and told her it's back in the bun. So that's where all of the convo from the first paragraph came from. Noted, my hair is currently longer than both she and my sister and they are always giving me advice, that is unwarranted and that does not work for me. Then she goes on to say she don't understand why people look to computers and the internet for all the answers.. (Well I know where this is going) so I love you mom I'll call you later.

*There was much more but I didn't want to kill you guys with a super long story and that is about the brunt of it.

* Is there anyone else that puts up with this mess?**

 

[Glamorous_chic]

lmao. that story was funny, but yes i've dealt with it also. i used to think wraps were my saving grace too, until i was trying to figure out why my left side always was supershort, and looked raggedy, and someone on the forum suggested it was the constant wraps. and my family always believed in greasing scalps daily, but my hair cant handle that type of heavy grease. i listen nod my head and go about my business. i really try not to get into those types of discussions with them. its one of those arguments that will never be won.

 

[anon123]

Okay so here's the situation.

My parents went away for a week's vacation and . . .

Moral of the story: Parents just don't understand.

Just ignore it and keep doing what works for you. I won't even tell you what my parents said when I stopped straightening my hair.

 

[MrsSmitty77]

lmao. that story was funny, but yes i've dealt with it also. i used to think wraps were my saving grace too, until i was trying to figure out why my left side always was supershort, and looked raggedy, and someone on the forum suggested it was the constant wraps. and my family always believed in greasing scalps daily, but my hair cant handle that type of heavy grease. i listen nod my head and go about my business. i really try not to get into those types of discussions with them. its one of those arguments that will never be won.

You are so right, but my mother she picks them. I had the same issues with wraps and unfortunately I haven't mastered wrapping my hair in reverse order. Also like I told her, I'm currently laid off and have no where to go so why constantly wear my hair down and manipulate it. I used to "oil" my scalp evey night, thinking I was moisturizing my hair and was wondering my there was always hair in the sink. I figure I will just show them better than I can tell them. I have come to understand that when she says "I just don't understand" she's not seeking understanding, she just expressing her dislike of how I have turned from how she taught us to care for our hair.

 

[LushLox]

I have to agree with you mother about the ponytails, as that's how my hair broke off, but then I always wore a ponytail so there was no break in routine. As for the wraps, yes they are nice occasionally, especially after a fresh relaxer, but then these can be tricky too because of the potential risk of thinning to the edges.

I think as Glamorous chic said, it's best not even get too much into a conversation with folks about hair, it is too much of a sensitive subject; besides you can just let your results speak for themselves.

 

[Lucia]

Just ignore the comments and KIM, I mean if they ever get really snarly just point blank say that obviously what your now doing is working for you cause your hair's healthier and longer than it was before.

 

[jgreen0579]

ME TOO! I HAD A CONVERSATION WITH MY OLDER SISTER YESTERDAY. I TOLD HER IM GOING TO WIG IT OUT FOR 6 MONTHS. IM TRYIN NOT TO PUT HEAT ON MY HAIR. SHE WAS LIKE THATS ALL WRONG. YOUR HAIR NEEDS AIR SO IT CAN GROW. I WAS LIKE WHATEVER IF YOU SAY SO... THIS IS MY HAIR IM GOING TO WIG IT OUT IF I WANT TO. SOME PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THEIR WAY IS THE ONLY WAY. AS LONG AS YOURS HAPPY WITH YOUR HAIR, OH WELL WITH OTHER PEOPLE THINKS AND SAY. KEEP DOIN YOU!!!

 

[SvelteVelvet]

I see where your moms thought process is. When I first started my hair care journey I also believed ponytails or buns were damaging due to the tension of cinching and pulling. When I made it a point to never let a scrunchie touch my head and wrap only is when my hair reached lengths it never had.

But now I bun alot and realized when my hair was breaking from pony's and bunning I was pulling and cinching too tight. Now that I know to use only a thick silk scrunchie and not pull or cinch too tight I see the benefits of bunning. Not to mention I've grown to like the look itself.

I've known people who shun the bun and think if a woman has hair she should show it and look glamourous all the time. I pay them no mind because I know when I WANT to wear it out and look glamourous I can and big part of being able to do that is because of how I take care of it in between.

 

[MrsSmitty77]

I see where your moms thought process is. When I first started my hair care journey I also believed ponytails or buns were damaging due to the tension of cinching and pulling. When I made it a point to never let a scrunchie touch my head and wrap only is when my hair reached lengths it never had.

But now I bun alot and realized when my hair was breaking from pony's and bunning I was pulling and cinching too tight. Now that I know to use only a thick silk scrunchie and not pull or cinch too tight I see the benefits of bunning. Not to mention I've grown to like the look itself.
Exactly, what I have come to also realize that I cannot tell her is that it is all in the process. My hair hates wet bunning so I have to air dry a little before I can bun.

I've known people who shun the bun and think if a woman has hair she should show it and look glamourous all the time. I pay them no mind because I know when I WANT to wear it out and look glamourous I can and big part of being able to do that is because of how I take care of it in between.

I also rotate my bun, sometimes it in the middle, the right or the left.

 

[SmartyPants]

Okay so here's the situation. My mother don't seem to understand why I wear my hair in a bun all the time for growth. She has always believe that ponytails breakoff your hair and wraps grow it. In her words it not healthy for the hair not to get any air.erplexed I'm like the air is what robs your freakin hair of moisture so she's like do you oil you scalp every night. Her idea of oiling hair is Blue Majic to the scalp every night. I told her puting grease on your scalp and actually moisturizing your hair is two different things. Okay to the quote title quote.
This weekend I blew out my hair with a cool blow dryer and flat ironed with my Chi products. (we had a family BBQ) She was commenting on how nice my hair is growing and how soft it was yadda, yadda. So she calls me this morning and says "Are you still wearing your wrap or did you put it back in that bun thing?" I started laughing and told her it's back in the bun. So that's where all of the convo from the first paragraph came from. Noted, my hair is currently longer than both she and my sister and they are always giving me advice, that is unwarranted and that does not work for me. Then she goes on to say she don't understand why people look to computers and the internet for all the answers.. (Well I know where this is going) so I love you mom I'll call you later.

*There was much more but I didn't want to kill you guys with a super long story and that is about the brunt of it.

*Is there anyone else that puts up with this mess?**

Yes... my stretching relaxers past week 8 drives my mom completely up a wall. (I'll be at twelve weeks on Friday). I have been wearing phony buns for the past 11 weeks. That seems to have calmed her down because she doesn't have to look at my messy non-straight hair.

 

[ellebelle88]

I think my mother has similar sentiments. She is always wondering why I "worry so much about my hair" and then sometimes she will ask why I do so much to my hair (wash, deep condition, etc.), just to put it in a ponytail. Because I know she would give me the side-eye if I told her my LHCF journey, I don't even bother to explain it to her.

My mother is balding now and I'm still not brave enough to introduce her to this site or offer her any pointers because I feel as though she probably wouldn't even listen to me.

 

[brucebettye]

Don't let what your family say bother you. My sisters & my nieces always had something to say when I first started wearing my own hair curly. But since it has grown that don't say bad things anymore, they just tell me how much my hair has grown.

 

[twinkletoes17]

I know what that's like, but my issue is about stretching because I usually stretch for 5 months. By 12 weeks my hair is coiling... and I love my coils I get happy and run to my mom and sister, telling them to touch it. They make faces and go "EW!" out loud. When they see my rows of coils they say it looks like cockroaches.

My hair is on it's way to BSL now and they're like "How do you do it? Will you do mine?"

I know it's family, but you do have to ignore them sometimes. She did say your hair is soft and growing nicely, and your hair is in better shape than your mom's and sister's... that's your answer right there.

 

[Essensual]

In 2003 went I did my BC, my mom thought I had gone nuts and joined a cult...nono:

...6 years later, SHE asks ME to cut her 3c coils down to 3 inches every few months or so.

Whodathunkit?

 

[Essensual]

bumping...