Did I overreact? [long read, friendship related]

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Nelli04

Well-Known Member
Okay so at my job, I work every other weekend. I switched to this weekend so I Can work with the people I hang out with the most, I'll call them B (a female) and J (who is male). I am also training someone, who I'll refer to as C.

A couple weeks ago, C brought up to me that I look weird when I sip on a straw (I was drinking from a carton of juice), we laugh about it for a second and it's over, I shrug it off (but I became more conscious of the way I sip from a straw :ohwell:).

So today B, J, C, and I are all having fun at work chatting and whatnot. All of a sudden C brings up the way I sip from a straw again with a demonstration (sorry, the demo is not available with this thread), everyone laughs, including me. But C and I only laugh for a second and move on, but B and J laugh EXTREMELY hard for over 2 minutes. I start to get annoyed and make a comment that it is not that funny, but they continue to laugh anyway. So I just turn away and get back to my work. J comes over to me and apologizes and asks if I am mad. I tell him that I am just annoyed by the way they had reacted and that I felt it was childish, but I'd get over it.

So fast forward a few hours, everything is cool and we're all talking because we have some down time. C brings up the joke again and B and J start laughing EXTREMELY hard again. I am looking at them with a straight face and J starts apologizing as he is laughing and B just does not care and keeps laughing.

So I say 'You both need to stop, it is not that funny and I find it disrespectful that you are laughing that hard when you know I already got annoyed the first time. You're starting to piss me off.' J stopped laughing and apologized, but B kept laughing, so I just got up and went back to my desk and didn't talk to her for the remainder of the shift. J came over and apologized again and said 'I'm sorry for laughing, I would be mad if someone did that to me, it was wrong.' I just said 'yea it was' and he asked how long am I usually mad at people...I told him 'I'm not mad long, but it does affect how I look at them.'

So my whole issue is the fact they felt it was THAT funny to laugh that long at my expense, even after knowing it upset me. My thought process is that if they can laugh that hard to my face off of something someone said about me, who knows what they're doing behind my back. B and J are people I considered friends outside of work, C not so much. So, in your opinion, did I overreact?

All this over the way I drink my juice, it feels so silly :drunk:

*sorry for the typos and grammatical errors
 
It sounds like C is the instigator. They have now brought up the straw thing three times? But then bow out when everyone laughs hard. I think it's strange that someone being trained by you would feel comfortable teasing you so much. I think it is generally best to not get too comfy with people you work with. That's all I got. And I wouldn't go out of my way to work on B or J's shift anymore. I think they were all rude but I also think they are all too familiar as well.
 
Sorry, but you must drink really weird from a straw. I can see you being annoyed but if is the only thing you see wrong with your relationship with these people I would not look to deep into it.

If it's a one time laugh at your expense I would try to look past it. If it happens often I would separate myself.
 
Yea I also feel we are too familiar, but even the other coworkers who were there today would not do what B, J, and C did and I am pretty close to them too. There's been more instances where they have laughed at my expense, but I shrug it off because we all get a share, just not anywhere near the level I got today.

B kind of slipped up a few days ago and said they talk about me sometimes, but now I am starting to think it's not in a positive light. But I did not think it was before because we've discussed J before, but it was not in a negative way.

And I probably do sip from a straw weirdly, but C only saw me do it once and I stopped doing it, so it is weird he brought it up 3 times, so I definitely need to put boundaries back up.

Thanks for your responses...
 
B and J were probably laughing really hard because it's something they noticed but never thought to comment on. I would probably exaggerate my straw drinking, be even more obvious about whatever it is I did while drinking from a straw and stare them down while doing so. Like randomly show up outside their car window drinking from the straw and staring them down.

Let's see how much they're laughing now.
 
Sorry lol no offense but now I am even curious about this straw sipping. For it to be funny enough to bring up three times and have people howling in laughter, I'm just really curious what it's like.

Anyway, it sounds like they are too comfortable around you. And if you feel as if they are laughing in a hurtful way more than in a joking harmless type of way then I would distance myself if I were you. Though if you guys are the type who always rag on each other then perhaps you are overreacting a bit. Have you all ever laughed at something J or B does in the same manner like with you and the sipping? Also, if anything I am most suspicious of C since he keeps bringing it up to kind of step back, and let you deal with B and J's laughter.
 
I can definitely understand not wanting to be laughed at but I also think you over reacted a little.
 
How someone drinks from a straw can't be at funny. It almost sounds as if there are jokes you are not in on hence why the other two are laughing so hard...
 
growth2come said:
How someone drinks from a straw can't be at funny. It almost sounds as if there are jokes you are not in on hence why the other two are laughing so hard...
Click to expand...

I think there is some underlying clowning and bullying going on. Think back to high school. There is some low level disrespect going on.

Dial back the friendships and keep the focus on your job. It is possible that the uncomfortable feeling you have is because subconsciously you know they are conspiring against you. Watch your back and keep your job.
 
drappedup said:
Sorry lol no offense but now I am even curious about this straw sipping. For it to be funny enough to bring up three times and have people howling in laughter, I'm just really curious what it's like.

Anyway, it sounds like they are too comfortable around you. And if you feel as if they are laughing in a hurtful way more than in a joking harmless type of way then I would distance myself if I were you. Though if you guys are the type who always rag on each other then perhaps you are overreacting a bit. Have you all ever laughed at something J or B does in the same manner like with you and the sipping? Also, if anything I am most suspicious of C since he keeps bringing it up to kind of step back, and let you deal with B and J's laughter.
Click to expand...

We do joke with each other, but not like this and esp not if the person is offended. But this time they kept going after they knew I was upset by it. I am just going to focus more on my work, I don't want anyone to think I would tolerate that type of behavior.

And I agree with those who said there's probably some inside joke or something. Also, I don't work at a call center, I work in a hospital.
 
C reminds me so much of a friend I had years ago. She would point out some quirky thing I would do in supposedly lighthearted funny way but it would make me self conscious about it. Then she would bring it up in front of a group of friends for a laugh. When she noticed it made me uncomfortable than she would faux apologize and say she was just joking around but later on down the road she would bring up a new funny thing about me to point out for a laugh and the whole thing recycled again. She turned out to be a manipulating, backstabber who brought me down to build herself up in front of others.
 
C bringing up the joke 3 times is over doing it.

B... if something is extremely funny to me I can laugh uncontrollably and I can't help it so I get her laughter. I don't think that B or J were being 'disrespectful'.

I do think that you blew it out of proportion and C over did it on the joke.
 
Definitely not overreacting. No one likes being laughed at and you've clearly been discussed behind your back. It's so disappointing - particularly from the "friends" that you've worked with for some time. Maintain a nice professional distance with them. Past the training, avoid "C" altogether. "C" is a climber and apparently thought it was a smart move to align themselves with B and J at your expense.
 
The entire situation, particularly the duration and intensity of B and J's laughter, stems from the fact that you are a regular topic for discussion in your absence. C has most likely been privy to some of these discussions, but on a smaller scale given her status as a newcomer. What is clear, though, is that each person has a very distinct role in the group:

C = the "I wanna be down, so watch me manufacture some bravery and say sumthin" person
B = the "*** her, I'm gonna laugh in her face bogus keepin it real" person
J = the "Y'all so crazy, but I'm gonna get my laughs in before I apologize so that she can STHU pseudo-passive bystander" person
You = the "butt of the jokes/source of the hidden animosity and the glue that holds the group together" person

IMO, they're all playing you, and I suggest that you opt out of their juvenile games immediately.
 
You are being talked about & made fun of when your back is turned hence the way things went down....you are not being overly sensitive I think your gut is telling your something more is going on when you are not around. Keep your distance from these fools and focus on work.
 
Thanks again for the responses.

I went to work today and distanced myself from them and just focused on my work. It was very quiet for the most part on the unit today because of this, although J tried to invite me to come sit with them on break, but I declined. At around lunch, they (B and J, C was not around) tried to invite me to come eat lunch with them, but I declined. They then sent me a text asking if I am mad at them still. I responded by saying 'No, but I don't feel like we're that call anymore' and right after that they sent me a text begging for me to come into the break room so they could explain.

We talked it over and I just told them exactly how I felt. They apologized and said they were shocked and worried that we weren't going to be friends anymore. They also said they don't talk sh*t behind my back and anything they say when I'm not around they tell me, and to an extent that is true. They also said that I know how immature they are (they are very immature) and how B laughs uncontrollably. The convo ended with me telling them that IDC if you can't control your laugh, if you can see I am not okay with you laughing at my expense, stop or step away, but don't continue to laugh in my face. They agreed. They also agreed that they went too far.

C was not around today, so IDK what to do with him, but they feel he didn't do it to hurt me. But IDK I'm going to have to discuss it with him since I'll be training him for the next month.

Thanks again for all the responses, I felt so silly initially that I let it affect me. I thought I had overreacted since it was just about how I sip from a straw, but it was really more than that. If I had just sat there and taken it, I feel they would have continued to laugh even more and then they'd feel comfortable doing it all the time. This situation triggered flash backs to a best-frenemy I had in HS who would do this to me...turns out she really hated herself and took it out on me.
 
No you didn't overreact. You allowed them to get their kiki on but they took it too far. No one needs to be ridiculed at their place of employment in order to seem 'cool' or 'fun'. Screw that. People need to grow up and you might take it as a warning to never allow people to get too comfortable with you at work. I'd never hang out with them again, only a 'hi' and 'bye'. Who cares if they get mad or beg you to come back. I'd take it as them being fake and trolling me. Can't believe people are cosigning ignorant behavior in a professional environment. SMH
 
They were clowning/joning/snapping. Learn to clown back. Don't get all emotional about it, it's not worth the energy.
 
I always say that I don't have friends at work. Once in a while u will find someone u can be very good friends with outside of work. It doesn't matter what they told u just focus on ur work
 
I just can't believe how bold and STUPID C is.:nono: The wrong person would have him all jacked in a nice nasty way.

“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
― George Carlin
“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
― Maya Angelou
 
I don't think you were overreacting. I agree with everyone who said to keep your distance.

Just take it as a lesson learned. The "friend", "aquaintance", and "associate" labels are separate for a reason. Keep them in their appropriate compartment and everything should be fine.
 
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