DH doesn't get it and I am tired of explaining

[Blackoutzangel05]

If I here one more comment talking about "I don't understand why you cut all your hair off to go natural but still do just as much to it"....well duh idiot I still have hair I am tired of hearing how he hates short hair, and how I do just as much to it. I swear if I hear something else about it I am going to scream. I don't complain about the hours that he spends on his xbox 360, I don't complain about how much time he spends on the computer. He is growing his hair out as well to start dreads and I don't complain that he needs a shape up...

Oh just wait until its flowing down my back he better not touch!!!!!

 

[curlcomplexity]

If I here one more comment talking about "I don't understand why you cut all your hair off to go natural but still do just as much to it"....well duh idiot I still have hair I am tired of hearing how he hates short hair, and how I do just as much to it. I swear if I hear something else about it I am going to scream. I don't complain about the hours that he spends on his xbox 360, I don't complain about how much time he spends on the computer. He is growing his hair out as well to start dreads and I don't complain that he needs a shape up...

Oh just wait until its flowing down my back he better not touch!!!!!

I know that's right. If I can recall...didn't he give you the "go ahead" to do the BC anyway? Umm hmm...those "wishy washy" men! he'll be aight!

 

[Mook's hair]

My suggestion...do exactly what you just did...Come on here and vent to all of us. Instead of blowing up on him. Hair arguments are futile with these men. While it's short, they're gonna feel how they wanna feel.

You know a large majority of black men love that long hair. You are on a mission and he may not understand your methods. Just let him complain while it's short and lovingly hit him with the "I know baby, but just wait and see how long and luxurious my hair will be soon."

You know you love his dirty drawls! Sometines they just need to complain and be annoying.

I had to learn to look at it and be amused.

 

[Blackoutzangel05]

I know that's right. If I can recall...didn't he give you the "go ahead" to do the BC anyway? Umm hmm...those "wishy washy" men! he'll be aight!

Yeah he did...girl he act like he forgot all about that!!!! I am so tired of explaining myself I am just going to let him talk and ignore him whenever it comes to my hair...

 

[Blackoutzangel05]

My suggestion...do exactly what you just did...Come on here and vent to all of us. Instead of blowing up on him. Hair arguments are futile with these men. While it's short, they're gonna feel how they wanna feel.

You know a large majority of black men love that long hair. You are on a mission and he may not understand your methods. Just let him complain while it's short and lovingly hit him with the "I know baby, but just wait and see how long and luxurious my hair will be soon."

You know you love his dirty drawls! Sometines they just need to complain and be annoying.

I had to learn to look at it and be amused.

Thanks Mook!!! I am going to be venting on here alot I don't want to get into him with it because I don't believe its worth it but he is NOT running his hands through it at WL, at least for the first week LOL

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

Gurl...I got one too.

 

[glamazon386]

Tell him that being natural does not mean not do anything to your hair. You still have to take care of it. He may not ever truly understand but its your hair so I guess he has to tolerate it to some degree whether he likes it or not. It happens...

 

[Hair Iam]

Mine was like this when I first began..men don't like change, just say "yes dear" when he starts up ..and soon he'll be ..baby... your hair is really growing..and you'll say...yes dear

 

[Blackoutzangel05]

Thanks ladies! I will continue to say "Yes, uh huh" but I am not explaining it anymore. I guess he feels that because he is natural too and doesn't do crap for his hair that I should do the same. But get this, every product that I buy shampoo, conditioners, etc...he wants to use!!!! men......

 

[glamazon386]

Thanks ladies! I will continue to say "Yes, uh huh" but I am not explaining it anymore. I guess he feels that because he is natural too and doesn't do crap for his hair that I should do the same. But get this, every product that I buy shampoo, conditioners, etc...he wants to use!!!! men......

You should tell him hands off

 

[Hair Iam]

Encourage him in the use of your products , this will help him better understand that even men need to add moisture , shine and care for their hair..it will also be a mutual interest that can grow as both your hair grows

 

[Blackoutzangel05]

You should tell him hands off

As hot as I was today I sure was about to tell him, when I went to the shower and noticed my conditioner was out.... But yet you are going to complain you dont understand why I get all these things for my hair.....

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

Oh girl... people in general are so assumptive.
I remember I went natural...
And I would do things to my hair and my mother would ask, "Well why are you doing that? I thought you wanted to be natural?" and it drove me fricking nuts!!!

lol.

 

[Blackoutzangel05]

Oh girl... people in general are so assumptive.
I remember I went natural...
And I would do things to my hair and my mother would ask, "Well why are you doing that? I thought you wanted to be natural?" and it drove me fricking nuts!!!

lol.

My point exactly...just because I am natural I don't have to take care of my hair!?!?!?

 

[kokodiva524]

Gurl...I got one too.

Just smile, nod, and keep it moving. It's not worth the drama.

 

[meia]

being honest with you, the same thing happened to me actually. my boyfriend at the time of 2 and some change years gave me the go ahead saying "if it makes you happy do it". I go ahead and do it and he clearly (and you could tell in his face) wasn't attracted to me anymore. In fact, I think he was embarrased to be around me.

Now almost a full year later, i'm almosst full APL and, meanwhile i still don't think its his thing (i think he's always loved straight hair on me and, more particularly, his women) other men absolutely DROOL. The confidence I feel is incredible and HEY! he's going bald anyways and losing his hair (he's TOO young for it) and I secretly think to myself- SEE THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR HASSLING ME ALL THAT TIME AND MAKING ME FEEL UNATTRACTIVE. but im' so happy with my decision that im glad for once I thought about myself first and did as I wanted to do fearlessly and I never let any of it get me down...

if you aren't immeadiately happy now, once you start attaining more length and he starts to realize short hair ISN'T permanent then i'm sure he'll be balking at all the attention YOU'LL be receiving in the biggest of ways from other females, and DEFINITELY males because of how beautiful natural hair thats all you makes you feel.

let me tell you this experience makes you really find yourself and stand up for yourself in ways you couldn't believe. and the ladies here are always there for you. it couldn't be any better...

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

You know what's funny?

My boyfriend of 2 years... has seen me have some horrible hair days...
I mean HORRIBLE... to the point my mother would scold me in front of him...

We now live together and now that I don't perm anymore... he's even more happy to play with my hair.
The other day, we were sitting on the couch... and he pulled my pony tail out... and gave me Dragon Ball Z hair... ... my baby has issues.

 

[Jaegermany]

Im not surprised. Our men can be very oppinionated when it comes to our hair.

Im sure he said it was cool to do the BC because he was trying to be supportive but in all reality he would have rathered you didnt.

As long as you feel comfortable with you then do what you do.

Me, personally I try to accomodate where I can because I dont want to feel like Im coming home to a person who doesnt find me attractive or sexy because of a stage. Key word is STAGE. This will pass and you both will be glad that you did it.

They complain about whatever, whenever but we say NOTHING when they decide to go shave off their hair because they are going bald, or when they wear things that just look down right foolish (we still hold their hands), or when they attempt to grow beards that just dont come in right we grin and bear it but us we cant have ONE off day or month without them bringing it to our attention that theyve noticed!

 

[*Michelle*]

Im not surprised. Our men can be very oppinionated when it comes to our hair.

Im sure he said it was cool to do the BC because he was trying to be supportive but in all reality he would have rathered you didnt.

As long as you feel comfortable with you then do what you do.

Me, personally I try to accomodate where I can because I dont want to feel like Im coming home to a person who doesnt find me attractive or sexy because of a stage. Key word is STAGE. This will pass and you both will be glad that you did it.

They complain about whatever, whenever but we say NOTHING when they decide to go shave off their hair because they are going bald, or when they wear things that just look down right foolish (we still hold their hands), or when they attempt to grow beards that just dont come in right we grin and bear it but us we cant have ONE off day or month without them bringing it to our attention that theyve noticed!:rolleyes:

I guess thats the visual part of them.

OP, he'll learn to not only live with it but he'll be happy one day, especially if you are! (((HUGS)))

 

[hopeful]

Yes, don't explain it to him anymore. I have found that what drives me nuts is when I keep explaining myself about anything (hair or whatever), it becomes draining and frustrating. So yeah, just ignore him and stay focussed. A year from now you will be shocked at how long and pretty your hair will be and so will he.

 

[Naturallong81]

VENT GURL VENT

 

[NuMe2004]

That is too funny! I especially like the part about you not complaining about him playing video games. I don't know what's up with guys and xbox's either. I almost died laughing when you said he needed to shape up his hair too LOL!

Keep doing what you're doing. He may not understand it, but he'll love the end result.

 

[balisi]

Stop explaining, ignore him and do what you need to do with and for your hair. One of my clients shared with me that her husband CRIED when she BC'd to go natural. She admitted that she thought it would be the end of her marriage. Thankfully, it wasn't and now her hair when straightened is approaching APL. They are very much in love and expecting their second child.

 

[meia]

yeah and as for my crumbum- we're going on almost three years in January. lol i probably should've finished my story but we didn't break up. we had it out a few times when I didn't have much hair but lately things have been great in terms of that...lol.

and as another poster hysterically said, he LOVES playing with my hair in dumb ways. but i remember telling him (now that i think about it) when i was deciding to BC i said "either I can continue to have my hair straight and you run your fingers thru it and snag on ends and have split ends in your hand or you can run your hand through soft curly hair." After watching him shudder, he reluctantly agreed. lol but also like another poster- i think they generally pretend they are supportive of us but once we take that step they realize how much of a commitment their so-called "support" would actually mean,

its funny too because ever since i've gotten it done, i've been wanting to do more and more things that separate me from the bunch so to speak. I think in a way I like to feel different instead of feel like everyone else- it really helps you tell who will stand by you through thick and thin (for instance when I pierced my septum) and dyed my hair all inky black.

lol and now? i get to pick on him as much as he used to pick on me. goodness i love being me sometimes...

 

[Blackoutzangel05]

Thank you ladies for the great comments, love, and support! I know that my husband and I won't break up over my hair but its still very annoying to have to keep explaining your reasons over and over again. Every little action that you do. I could really do without that part. However, I know in the end that he is going to love it, but still no touching. I will kindly remind him..."I don't see why you do all that to your hair if you want to be natural" I am glad to hear that no one has broken up over hair changes....I know that he likes my hair straight and I will probably wear it straight more once its longer because I do like straight hair but one of the main reasons that I went natural is because of the versatility that I know I can have without permanent damage to my hair.