Developing your Character in Relationships....

[PinkPebbles]

After a meeting last night with a volunteered org I said Lord I want to step down from this leadership role. I don’t like so and so ways.

After venting and prayer, a peace came over me. The Lord began to minister to my spirit and said be encouraged; I will use this to develop your character. I pondered on that thought and the Lord brought back a prayer to my remembrance. A few months ago I asked the Lord to prepare my mind and soul for what He has in store for me. I don’t want to receive anything prematurely and unable to handle the task.

As I continued to meditate, I realize that the Lord had started working on me last month on my job. My new responsibilities require me to work with someone that is similar to me. In a sense we both can be bossy, pushy, and stubborn. I had to pray for wisdom and guidance. And the Lord simply told me to humble myself. I had to swallow my pride and I immediately saw change in how we work together. There are still some challenges but we’ve come a long way.

I believe that relationships and interaction with others are very important. That’s how we learn and grow. It’s easy to be perfect when you are alone and limit your interaction with people. But the true You comes out when you are in relationships

So Ladies, is God leading you in unfamiliar territory to sharpen, and prepare you for greater works? Is the Lord using people or situations to develop your character?

Do you have any testimonies, encouragement, or words of wisdom to share?

My granny‘s speech to everyone comes to mind. Is not what you say, but how you say it. Your attitude will determine how far you go in life.

And Lord knows that is the truth!

I also like Proverbs 25:28 He that has no rule over his own spirit is like a city, which is broken down, and without walls.

 

[loolalooh]

Thank you so much for posting this! You're in my head. This really speaks to me.

I'm in a situation that has been really trying me. (So much so that I ran away from it a couple of times.) It's only recently that I see it is actually shaping me spiritually.

The Lord has helped me to see, through this friendship, that I need Him to overcome certain character traits. Had it not been for this friendship, I would've thought I had everything under control.

 

[paradise79]

Totally agree! Sure, the Lord is using us sometimes and we have to go far from our comfort zone. I experienced it and I'm so thankful because it has definetely changed me and mold my character. It was hard and I meditated a lot on it, and the answer comes from prayer. It concerns humility, simplicity, pride as you say for you PP.

Things are not just black or just white, and being in contact with other (different from or similar to one's personnality, character) people. I think we are tools and it happens that you have to be somewhere at a particular moment, cooperating and interacting with some persons for His Plan to be accomplished.
I will come back for more.

 

[PinkPebbles]

Thank you so much for posting this! You're in my head. This really speaks to me.

I'm in a situation that has been really trying me. (So much so that I ran away from it a couple of times.) It's only recently that I see it is actually shaping me spiritually.

The Lord has helped me to see, through this friendship, that I need Him to overcome certain character traits. Had it not been for this friendship, I would've thought I had everything under control.

Amen!!!

I just thought about two teachers that God used to shape and mold me.

I thought that my 8th grade teacher was tormenting me. He used to make me cry everyday! But all along that man was pulling out my potential; he challenged me in a subject until I was able to soar. The subject that I disliked the most had become the subject that I excelled in high school and college which led me into my career.

My 8th grade teacher thickened up my skin and taught me how to fight the good fight of faith, and not to give up.

God works in mysterious ways....we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us .

 

[PinkPebbles]

Totally agree! Sure, the Lord is using us sometimes and we have to go far from our comfort zone. I experienced it and I'm so thankful because it has definetely changed me and mold my character. It was hard and I meditated a lot on it, and the answer comes from prayer. It concerns humility, simplicity, pride as you say for you PP.

Things are not just black or just white, and being in contact with other (different from or similar to one's personnality, character) people. I think we are tools and it happens that you have to be somewhere at a particular moment, cooperating and interacting with some persons for His Plan to be accomplished.
I will come back for more.

Yes indeed!!!

Thank you for sharing.

 

[Rainbow Dash]

Thanks for sharing.

I am dealing with a relationship that I want to end. This person just keeps attaching themselves to me and I want out soo bad. This person is a christian but the manipulation gets to me. She seems to want a friendship but she is also very jealous and insecure that whatever it takes to get her way she will do it. Whether it is from crying, talking bad about someone to others, or flattery. I have seen the jealously and I just cant consider this person a friend.

I have prayed and asked God to help my heart to be right. When things are going well. I let my guard down and forget all the pain she has caused me and I say to myself " I will be a true friend to her" but then the manipulation shows back up as soon as I decide to let my guard down.

I need advice.

I want to please God. I dont want to hate or be in malice. I just dont want to share my personal life and a friendship with this person who is a Christian. She has been to my leaders crying when I tried to pull away and I turn out to be the bad one because she wants to be my friend. I sometimes feel like there is a spirit on her that wants to harass me and disturb my peace. I could be wrong, it could be me or maybe God is working something out in me.

Has anyone dealt with this before from another Christian?

Thanks for your input.

 

[PinkPebbles]

Hi Health&Hair28 -

I don't want you to be confused with what I shared in this thread. I'm talking about situations and people that God uses to build you up and not tear you down. That is a big difference.

If someone is jealous and envies you, and then manipulates you that person is not your friend nor have your best interest at heart. You have every right to distance yourself from that person.

Sidney's thread has some excellent advice about friendship. HTH!
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/ch...ts-friendships-renewing-ones-mind-2011-a.html

Thanks for sharing.

I am dealing with a relationship that I want to end. This person just keeps attaching themselves to me and I want out soo bad. This person is a christian but the manipulation gets to me. She seems to want a friendship but she is also very jealous and insecure that whatever it takes to get her way she will do it. Whether it is from crying, talking bad about someone to others, or flattery. I have seen the jealously and I just cant consider this person a friend.

I have prayed and asked God to help my heart to be right. When things are going well. I let my guard down and forget all the pain she has caused me and I say to myself " I will be a true friend to her" but then the manipulation shows back up as soon as I decide to let my guard down.

I need advice.

I want to please God. I dont want to hate or be in malice. I just dont want to share my personal life and a friendship with this person who is a Christian. She has been to my leaders crying when I tried to pull away and I turn out to be the bad one because she wants to be my friend. I sometimes feel like there is a spirit on her that wants to harass me and disturb my peace. I could be wrong, it could be me or maybe God is working something out in me.

Has anyone dealt with this before from another Christian?

Thanks for your input.

 

[PinkPebbles]

I felt led to come back to this thread to give some examples on how relationships and interaction with others develop our character.

Examples:
1. A lot of us don’t like constructive criticism but when we accept constructive feedback it helps us to recognize and work on our weaknesses.

2. Personality clashes. Someone may have a hard time working with a passive person or two aggressive/ controlling people will clash. God may use individuals as a self reflection of who they are to become a better person, or be more sensitive to the needs of others.

3. A shy person maybe surrounded by outgoing individuals that cause them to become uncomfortable. This will be an opportunity for them to get from underneath their shell.

4. A person of status may be put in a situation where they have to interact with underprivileged children/adults. This will cause the person to learn a few lessons on humility.

 

[tyrablu]

I felt led to come back to this thread to give some examples on how relationships and interaction with others develop our character.

Examples:
1. A lot of us don’t like constructive criticism but when we accept constructive feedback it helps us to recognize and work on our weaknesses.

2. Personality clashes. Someone may have a hard time working with a passive person or two aggressive/ controlling people will clash. God may use individuals as a self reflection of who they are to become a better person, or be more sensitive to the needs of others.

3. A shy person maybe surrounded by outgoing individuals that cause them to become uncomfortable. This will be an opportunity for them to get from underneath their shell.

4. A person of status may be put in a situation where they have to interact with underprivileged children/adults. This will cause the person to learn a few lessons on humility.

This is something that I struggle with from birth. I was asked to participate in something at church and normally I would have already said no. But I believe that God wants me to gain something from this experience. We'll just have to wait and see.

 

[mrselle]

This is a timely thread for me. I have been dealing with difficult people for several years. It's not easy for me to walk away or cut them off because it is my husband's family. God has dealt with me before on allowing the things they do to cause me to be bitter and resentful. I have been so quick to believe that they are the issue and not me. Well, for the past few weeks God has been showing me that I am to blame too. He has shown me some of my flaws and to be quite honest I am embarrased and ashamed. My flesh wants to justify my actions, but I know it wouldn't be right. Shimmie kindly pointed out to me over a year ago that it has nothing to do with me or even the other people involved; it is the devil trying to discredit me as a Christian. I see that now more than ever and when I say that I am ashamed, I mean that I am really ashamed. Nothing about my behavior points to me being a Christian. I have been quick to get angry and slow to forgive. What God has shown me over the past few weeks is that He wants me to be loving and kind in ALL situations. It's easy to love those who love you, but the real test comes when you have someone who mistreats you. How do you treat that person? Do you give them the same treatment back or do you love them anyway? God wants me to love anyway. The other night I prayed with an open heart and told God that I want an open heart. I want to forgive and I want to love. It's not easy, but it's getting better. I know a test is coming and I know that as long as I stay in prayer everything will be fine.

 

[PinkPebbles]

This is something that I struggle with from birth. I was asked to participate in something at church and normally I would have already said no. But I believe that God wants me to gain something from this experience. We'll just have to wait and see.

The Lord will be with you, and indeed you will be blessed and others too! Look forward to your testimony !

 

[PinkPebbles]

This is a timely thread for me. I have been dealing with difficult people for several years. It's not easy for me to walk away or cut them off because it is my husband's family. God has dealt with me before on allowing the things they do to cause me to be bitter and resentful. I have been so quick to believe that they are the issue and not me. Well, for the past few weeks God has been showing me that I am to blame too. He has shown me some of my flaws and to be quite honest I am embarrased and ashamed. My flesh wants to justify my actions, but I know it wouldn't be right. Shimmie kindly pointed out to me over a year ago that it has nothing to do with me or even the other people involved; it is the devil trying to discredit me as a Christian. I see that now more than ever and when I say that I am ashamed, I mean that I am really ashamed. Nothing about my behavior points to me being a Christian. I have been quick to get angry and slow to forgive. What God has shown me over the past few weeks is that He wants me to be loving and kind in ALL situations. It's easy to love those who love you, but the real test comes when you have someone who mistreats you. How do you treat that person? Do you give them the same treatment back or do you love them anyway? God wants me to love anyway. The other night I prayed with an open heart and told God that I want an open heart. I want to forgive and I want to love. It's not easy, but it's getting better. I know a test is coming and I know that as long as I stay in prayer everything will be fine.

Mrselle - I understand and can relate. So please don't feel ashamed.

You are right that the enemy is behind a lot of things that causes one to be easily provoked. But the good news is that you are aware. You have the love of God in your heart to know that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, and to always put on the whole armor of God :Rose:

The Lord is with you .

 

[paradise79]

Just believe and trust Him, let Him get in your heart and transform it through that mission. I'm repeating myself but prayer will help you through it. I think one should always ask God to allow him/her to see what he/she is supposed to do or not, and recognize that His Holy Will is sovereign and that it is accepted no matter how hard it is. I also look forward your testimony on that

This is something that I struggle with from birth. I was asked to participate in something at church and normally I would have already said no. But I believe that God wants me to gain something from this experience. We'll just have to wait and see.

 

[paradise79]

mrselle, the thank button is not enough because I've been there, and I can totally relate myself to what you wrote. God is really good because that was exactly what I was about to post. To love someone who loves you is soooo easy and there is nothing extra in it. But what we're asked as christians is to love each other. He didn't say lovo those who love you but love and pray for your ennemy. I'm not out of the topic PP, I just want to point this out because it affects the relationship with what I call "difficult people" and may interfer with how your character can be developped in that relationship....erplexed don't know if it's clear...

That was my 1st real work and it was in may back in my country. Oh man, this was an amazing and blessing experience and the Lord shape me through my manager. He was smart, intelligent and a very competent and.....I hated him. He helped me a lot but was so demanding, so strict, so annoying. I was under pressure, I felt harassed and was about to quit that job but I prayed, I hung there and God did the job.
I'm the one who was changed. I was very laid back and will wait all my life for things to get on my way, was so "the sky is blue, people loves me so everything is perfect". I can't get into details but this man was a godsent, he made me desillusional about the workplace, he taught me what ambition, humility, hard-working, dream are, that I have to stand for what I want, He wanted me to be the perfect PA, to look into details and to make sure what I'm doingis the best. He couldn't go a week without encouraging me to go continue my studies and get a master, a Phd. I understood later that, it was planned for me to be that way and sometimes it's not just about "you" but about what is meant to be, God's plans for you, to develop you.

I can still remember this period and I had the opportunity 2 years ago to talk to him and I thanked him. This experience served me 2 years ago with another worker (superior) here. This man is the most detestable person I've met and I've gone a hard time again. He was abusive with employees, controlling, he likes humiliation and the whole climate wasn't just right for me. I hate to say it but it was so "parisian" that I didn't want to get myself mixed into that. Oh man.....I spent time praying and asking for guidance. My faith saved me from this because I was hating, wasn't forgiving, wasn't just christian so the whole situation was escaladating. In my prayer, the Holy Spirit ministered me about love, how to say things, how to deal with "difficult people". Believe me or not but as I started to pray for these persons, I changed (again !!!), I was kind of sharp in talking, very proud and was reluctant to critics. I opend myself to the Spirit and things changed drastically. I came out of this stronger in faith, more loving and caring about others and I just love that.

This is a timely thread for me. I have been dealing with difficult people for several years. It's not easy for me to walk away or cut them off because it is my husband's family. God has dealt with me before on allowing the things they do to cause me to be bitter and resentful. I have been so quick to believe that they are the issue and not me. Well, for the past few weeks God has been showing me that I am to blame too. He has shown me some of my flaws and to be quite honest I am embarrased and ashamed. My flesh wants to justify my actions, but I know it wouldn't be right. Shimmie kindly pointed out to me over a year ago that it has nothing to do with me or even the other people involved; it is the devil trying to discredit me as a Christian. I see that now more than ever and when I say that I am ashamed, I mean that I am really ashamed. Nothing about my behavior points to me being a Christian. I have been quick to get angry and slow to forgive. What God has shown me over the past few weeks is that He wants me to be loving and kind in ALL situations. It's easy to love those who love you, but the real test comes when you have someone who mistreats you. How do you treat that person? Do you give them the same treatment back or do you love them anyway? God wants me to love anyway. The other night I prayed with an open heart and told God that I want an open heart. I want to forgive and I want to love. It's not easy, but it's getting better. I know a test is coming and I know that as long as I stay in prayer everything will be fine.

 

[PinkPebbles]

mrselle, the thank button is not enough because I've been there, and I can totally relate myself to what you wrote. God is really good because that was exactly what I was about to post. To love someone who loves you is soooo easy and there is nothing extra in it. But what we're asked as christians is to love each other. He didn't say lovo those who love you but love and pray for your ennemy. I'm not out of the topic PP, I just want to point this out because it affects the relationship with what I call "difficult people" and may interfer with how your character can be developped in that relationship....erplexed don't know if it's clear...

That was my 1st real work and it was in may back in my country. Oh man, this was an amazing and blessing experience and the Lord shape me through my manager. He was smart, intelligent and a very competent and.....I hated him. He helped me a lot but was so demanding, so strict, so annoying. I was under pressure, I felt harassed and was about to quit that job but I prayed, I hung there and God did the job.
I'm the one who was changed. I was very laid back and will wait all my life for things to get on my way, was so "the sky is blue, people loves me so everything is perfect". I can't get into details but this man was a godsent, he made me desillusional about the workplace, he taught me what ambition, humility, hard-working, dream are, that I have to stand for what I want, He wanted me to be the perfect PA, to look into details and to make sure what I'm doingis the best. He couldn't go a week without encouraging me to go continue my studies and get a master, a Phd. I understood later that, it was planned for me to be that way and sometimes it's not just about "you" but about what is meant to be, God's plans for you, to develop you.

I can still remember this period and I had the opportunity 2 years ago to talk to him and I thanked him. This experience served me 2 years ago with another worker (superior) here. This man is the most detestable person I've met and I've gone a hard time again. He was abusive with employees, controlling, he likes humiliation and the whole climate wasn't just right for me. I hate to say it but it was so "parisian" that I didn't want to get myself mixed into that. Oh man.....I spent time praying and asking for guidance. My faith saved me from this because I was hating, wasn't forgiving, wasn't just christian so the whole situation was escaladating. In my prayer, the Holy Spirit ministered me about love, how to say things, how to deal with "difficult people". Believe me or not but as I started to pray for these persons, I changed (again !!!), I was kind of sharp in talking, very proud and was reluctant to critics. I opend myself to the Spirit and things changed drastically. I came out of this stronger in faith, more loving and caring about others and I just love that.

Paradise79 - thank you so much for this encouraging post! You have spoken much truth that I can definitely identify with.

I've also learned that I can't change anyone but myself. And when I've changed or my perspective had changed things ran much smoothly. I was able to overcome, walk in love and victory.

God is amazing...and Paradise79 you have a beautiful spirit. Thank you for sharing God's love sis

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

OP this is real on time.I just started working and I can already see the people that are there are hot messes to me.One is my supervisor and he is very honary.I was told he is a pastor on the side as well..I notice how our clients running from him.They would rather wait 30 minutes extra to see someone else than him..really its sad.He is very uppity and its a totally turnoff for me as new employee.The others are women who have nothing to me in the way of happiness.So much attitude and carrying on.

Then I think of my clients(I work as a career coach at my local workforce) and its a real sad thing to see so many unwed mothers with so many kids.One came in yesterday with a 4 yr old and she is 17..then another who is 28 has 8 kids one on the way..so much dysfunction.I know God has placed me there for a reason even if its not for my growth which I can say I do feel like I'm growing but to brigthen the lives of my clients and maybe the office.

 

[MSee]

Thanks for sharing.

I am dealing with a relationship that I want to end. This person just keeps attaching themselves to me and I want out soo bad. This person is a christian but the manipulation gets to me. She seems to want a friendship but she is also very jealous and insecure that whatever it takes to get her way she will do it. Whether it is from crying, talking bad about someone to others, or flattery. I have seen the jealously and I just cant consider this person a friend.

I have prayed and asked God to help my heart to be right. When things are going well. I let my guard down and forget all the pain she has caused me and I say to myself " I will be a true friend to her" but then the manipulation shows back up as soon as I decide to let my guard down.

I need advice.

I want to please God. I dont want to hate or be in malice. I just dont want to share my personal life and a friendship with this person who is a Christian. She has been to my leaders crying when I tried to pull away and I turn out to be the bad one because she wants to be my friend. I sometimes feel like there is a spirit on her that wants to harass me and disturb my peace. I could be wrong, it could be me or maybe God is working something out in me.

Has anyone dealt with this before from another Christian?

Thanks for your input.

I can relate word for word. My advice would be to end it now. Deal with the backlash and drama now. I've learnt that the hard way and when I finally had to deal with it God showed me how many years I wasted not living up to my potential, holding back my light, not accomplishing what He wantd me to because I was being manipulated and controled by some one whose insecurity was causing them to be hateful. Unfortunately because they are a Christian who had the art and skill of whining and appearing to be disadvantaged when they don't get their way and I had a strong character, they actually got away with slandering me so badly that there are people who still treat me with suspision and contempt because of what, and how this individual told them about me. If it goes on long enough you will have to seriously fight off the temptation of bitterness and malice because they will wound you over and over again to the point of emotional bleeding. The thread about friendship is a good place for advice.

I have a lot of wasted painful years that seem to be resurfacing in my memory lately. I know God is allowing it so that I don't make the same mistake again because I had found myself starting to feel sorry for her as I see her still trying to control and kill my character when it is obvious that she is fighting with my God. I just don't have the strength and time to fight back and God has intervened on my behalf on many occasions. This lady has screamed in my face how bitter she was against me and that she couldn't come to places I was perfoming at because she felt I was a hypocrit. In that dramatic conversation it popped out of my mouth that I knew she always hated me and immediately she startded whining and in a teary voice said she doesn't hate me she just want to be my friend It was scary, to say the least. For years something inside kept telling me I was dealing with an envious person and I needed to keep away from her but, I kept rebuking it. Then it got so bad.....enough. Pray and ask God the best approach to end it, ask Him to protect your name and character and cover your mind and emotions. You are going to need His help. I'll pray for you too.

I write all that and have left out much to let you know there are some people also assigned to stop what God wants to do in your life. The devil also knows what weakness may be in your character that he can use someone to infiltrate destroy you. I wanted friends and wanted to fit in and wanted peace whatever the cost because I was new to the Church, none of those things are bad but at that time of my life it was a place of weakness and I should have turned it over to God and do it His way.

I like this thread and to relate to the OP, I've had my sand paper people who polished me to a bling, bling shine. They too were hateful, not Christians but they caused me to learn how to work through challenges and become better for it. I also was able to learn a lot from them and years later saw them show appreciation for me, something I never thought possible while working with them.

Then again, how can I forget the "good people" whose ways were the perfect trigger to reminded me that I was not perfect. Thank God for forgiveness

 

[Rainbow Dash]

Thanks PinkPebbles and Msee for your advice and replies.

This thing has put me through years of heartache and pain but I thank God for allowing restoration and healing to begin. I feel like I'm getting my spiritual strength back. The enemy used this situatiuon to zap my strength. What hurt the most, was people I did nothing wrong to, treated me bad because of this person. I mean, people that I cared for. I was depressed and bitter. But God has been healing and restoring me.

Msee, I too wanted peace and tried to be the nice one but now I am beginning to stand up in the boldness of the Lord. There was much more that I could write as well. Thanks for sharing your testimony.

Thank God for the Christian forum.

 

[paradise79]

Yes, God is amazing and this comes right on time; that's God's time. :blowkiss:, that's for you.
So true!!! I think the mistake we are doing generally when dealing with others is that it's always somebody else's fault. Here is another one, I believe the Lord used my MIL this summer. I don't think I was that patient and loving before. she visited us for 3 months, I was highly pregnant and later struggling with hormons, new baby, bf....and she wasn't easy to live with. I prayed every day and the Spirit poured more love everyday in my heart towards her and co. I find it kind of funny that this development seems to come most of the time from a conflicting climate. I was trying to remember if someone I love and I get along very well with has been a tool of God's love and plan.

I will not say that she was sent to develop my character but it's happen that while interacting with her, her attitude and behaviour sharpen some points in my character. To be able to manage the relationship with her, I prayed and was guide by the Holy Spirit to handle the situation differently. Humility, let one's pride in the closet , being patient, socialize (I love being alone with myself) were part of the plan....I always thank God for every person that is on my way, nice or not; it's always positive even if it doesn't seem at first sight.

Paradise79 - thank you so much for this encouraging post! You have spoken much truth that I can definitely identify with.

I've also learned that I can't change anyone but myself. And when I've changed or my perspective had changed things ran much smoothly. I was able to overcome, walk in love and victory.

God is amazing...and Paradise79 you have a beautiful spirit. Thank you for sharing God's love sis

 

[MSee]

Thanks PinkPebbles and Msee for your advice and replies.

This thing has put me through years of heartache and pain but I thank God for allowing restoration and healing to begin. I feel like I'm getting my spiritual strength back. The enemy used this situatiuon to zap my strength. What hurt the most, was people I did nothing wrong to, treated me bad because of this person. I mean, people that I cared for. I was depressed and bitter. But God has been healing and restoring me.

Msee, I too wanted peace and tried to be the nice one but now I am beginning to stand up in the boldness of the Lord. There was much more that I could write as well. Thanks for sharing your testimony.

Thank God for the Christian forum.

I am still amazed at how much this sounds exactly like what I've been through. I hope your healing journey is faster than mine. I always thought I was quick to move forward and actually have been doing well, but what you described in the bolded happen to me just last week. When I was in the presence of someone who had totally turned against me based on slander, I thought I did well be just showing genuine concern, showing no retaliation to their attitude but the next morning while praying it was like an overwhelming turrent. I felt such pain I just cried like a baby

It is written that a good name is more desirable than riches (Proverbs 22:1) and when you see and feel yours being blackened without you doing actual wrong, it is painful. However, I can assure you that everything said in this thread is also true for that kind of relationship, God will use it for your good. It is also written, Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evil doers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ. For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing. 1 Peter 3:16-17 Actually 1 Peter 3 is a very comforting chapter although I have told God in prayer "It still hurts!!!"

Having said that I actually am beginning to see some good of having gone through that. The people who are quick to not only believe the slander but to take sides and treat you badly based on hear say should be blamed for their own response. Reject offense, bitterness, unforgiveness, malice and returning evil for evil. These only hurt you and keep you under the control of the one causing those emotions. Keep praying and guarding your heart because I know it is easier said than done but, God is faithful.

 

[Laela]

I believe God is leading us (me and DH) into uncharted territory now. There are family members I was holding on to but God has been dealing with me concerning them. He's been showing me that I'm taking on battles that aren't mine. As I minister in this Forum, I minister to myself.

When I look at past relationships and how I've dealt with them and where I am now in my heart concerning those relationships, I see the end result of that refining process: Forgiveness. Every time. I've learned that there has to be conflict, for some development to occur. So I see difficult relationships or difficulties in relationships as part of the refining process. When I ask God for forgiveness, I know He CAN'T forgive me if I have unforgiveness in my heart. It's like a boulder of weight off my chest every time I forgive and it really is a great sense of peace. Changes everything.... Unforgiveness is what can keep me from going to Heaven. It's a sin.

In my heart, I CAN'T wish death or hell on anyone, no matter what they did/said to me. This thinking doesn't line up with God's
Oh, I had my days.... I used to wish the girlfriend of the athiest I used to live with would just die, because of all the pain and heartache she put me through. She even wished me dead and tried to run me off the road to prove it. In retrospect, things weren't working right in my life during those dark days long after I'd moved out of their home. The negative thought stayed in me and my heart was dark.. Until the day the light came on, I realize those negative thoughts were all about how I felt.. ME and not anyone else. It's a selfish place to be. Today, if she comes across my mind, I just pray she gets saved and make it to heaven. I'm no longer angry at my nieces' dad (the athiest). When I see him, I'm cheerful and say hello ( he always looks surprised ). But he's not a part of my life, to corrupt my character like he did before -- that's something God had wanted me to see all along: I can Love from a distance. If I had unforgiveness I'd be rude to him on purpose, not say hello, moan, groan when I see him. How then can he know I've changed and God is in me???
If I were to meet the man who killed my sister I'd tell him about Jesus, that I'd forgiven him (which I did years ago). The more people I forgive, the less room there is for this sin in my life! That's a secret I'm in on ....

Here is the scripture that stands out for me concerning character development to line up with God's:


Malachi 3

The Coming Day of Judgment
1 “Look! I am sending my messenger, and he will prepare the way before me. Then the Lord you are seeking will suddenly come to his Temple. The messenger of the covenant, whom you look for so eagerly, is surely coming,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.
2 “But who will be able to endure it when he comes? Who will be able to stand and face him when he appears? For he will be like a blazing fire that refines metal, or like a strong soap that bleaches clothes. 3He will sit like a refiner of silver, burning away the dross. He will purify the Levites, refining them like gold and silver, so that they may once again offer acceptable sacrifices to the Lord. 4Then once more the Lord will accept the offerings brought to him by the people of Judah and Jerusalem, as he did in the past.
5 “At that time I will put you on trial. I am eager to witness against all sorcerers and adulterers and liars. I will speak against those who cheat employees of their wages, who oppress widows and orphans, or who deprive the foreigners living among you of justice, for these people do not fear me,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.

A Call to Repentance
6 “I am the Lord, and I do not change. That is why you descendants of Jacob are not already destroyed. 7Ever since the days of your ancestors, you have scorned my decrees and failed to obey them. Now return to me, and I will return to you,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.
“But you ask, ‘How can we return when we have never gone away?’
8 “Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me!
“But you ask, ‘What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?’
“You have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me. 9You are under a curse, for your whole nation has been cheating me. 10Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test! 11Your crops will be abundant, for I will guard them from insects and disease.a12“Then all nations will call you blessed, for your land will be such a delight,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.
Your grapes will not fall from the vine before they are ripe,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. 13“You have said terrible things about me,” says the Lord.
“But you say, ‘What do you mean? What have we said against you?’
14 “You have said, ‘What’s the use of serving God? What have we gained by obeying his commands or by trying to show the Lord of Heaven’s Armies that we are sorry for our sins? 15From now on we will call the arrogant blessed. For those who do evil get rich, and those who dare God to punish them suffer no harm.’”

The Lord’s Promise of Mercy
16 Then those who feared the Lord spoke with each other, and the Lord listened to what they said. In his presence, a scroll of remembrance was written to record the names of those who feared him and always thought about the honor of his name.
17 “They will be my people,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “On the day when I act in judgment, they will be my own special treasure. I will spare them as a father spares an obedient child. 18Then you will again see the difference between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not.”

After a meeting last night with a volunteered org I said Lord I want to step down from this leadership role. I don’t like so and so ways.

After venting and prayer, a peace came over me. The Lord began to minister to my spirit and said be encouraged; I will use this to develop your character. I pondered on that thought and the Lord brought back a prayer to my remembrance. A few months ago I asked the Lord to prepare my mind and soul for what He has in store for me. I don’t want to receive anything prematurely and unable to handle the task.

As I continued to meditate, I realize that the Lord had started working on me last month on my job. My new responsibilities require me to work with someone that is similar to me. In a sense we both can be bossy, pushy, and stubborn. I had to pray for wisdom and guidance. And the Lord simply told me to humble myself. I had to swallow my pride and I immediately saw change in how we work together. There are still some challenges but we’ve come a long way.

I believe that relationships and interaction with others are very important. That’s how we learn and grow. It’s easy to be perfect when you are alone and limit your interaction with people. But the true You comes out when you are in relationships

So Ladies, is God leading you in unfamiliar territory to sharpen, and prepare you for greater works? Is the Lord using people or situations to develop your character?

Do you have any testimonies, encouragement, or words of wisdom to share?

My granny‘s speech to everyone comes to mind. Is not what you say, but how you say it. Your attitude will determine how far you go in life.

And Lord knows that is the truth!

I also like Proverbs 25:28 He that has no rule over his own spirit is like a city, which is broken down, and without walls.

 

[PinkPebbles]

He's been showing me that I'm taking on battles that aren't mine.

Laela - thank you for sharing.

I needed this reminder today. Right on time. I need to stay in my lane at the workplace. A lot of distractions...