Detangling Very Matted Hair After Illness

[SelahOco]

Please help! My mother has been very ill and has been bed ridden for several months. She is finally able to sit up and wants me to detangle her APL relaxed hair, which is now matted in a bun.

We were gonna cut it all off but she decided not to do chemo so we're going to try to preserve her hair.

I'm thinking I should just spray her down with a water bottle and coat the hair in conditioner - I was thinking Trader Joe's or Aussie Moist or Nutrogena Triple Moisture and slowly try to release the tangle with a wide tooth comb.

I'm expecting it to take a couple hours.

Do any of you have experience with this? Any tips to make it easier or less painful.

My hair is natural and so is my 5-year olds so I'm used to detangling. But my mom is tender headed and will have curly roots with relaxed ends, which I'm not used to dealing with.

Thanks for any help you can offer

 

[Chicoro]

NO WATER OR CONDITIONER, yet!

My mother has been ill and could not get to her natural hair, which has matted. She has been in and out of the hospital since September. Her hair was untouched for 8 months!

GLYCERINE.

I told my mother to get some glycerine. Mix 1/2 cup of oil with 1/4 cup of pure glycerin.

 

[Chicoro]

Start this process in the very early morning because it is going to be slow if you want to try to save the hair. Put a towel around you mother and protect her furniture or bed, too.

Drench the hair with the olive oil and glycerine. Work it into the hair. Squeeze it into the inside of the matted ponytail. It will soften the hair. You may have to put a plastic grocery bag on her head to let her body heat warm up her head and soften it some more.

The glycerine dissolves oil and dust. Next, you may need to work the tangles out patiently with your fingers.

I do not recommend putting conditioner on the hair before this part. Conditioner has water in it. The water will make the hair strand expand and tighten up the 'knots' and mats. Matted hair is intertwined or wrapped up by other shed hair that didn't shed, combined with product build-up and dirt and dust.

 

[Chicoro]

Let that plastic sit on her hair. If she doesn't have the energy, let her keep the cap on overnight and get to it the next day when she has fresh energy.

Also, you may want to get a sewing needle. You can use this to dig into the middle of some the matted sections and literally direct the knot/mat. You can use it to stab into the tangled hair and pull toward the ends of the hair to try to dislodge and/or loosen some of the shed hair.

Once you have removed the shed hair and gotten the mats out, then you add water or conditioner. The water in the conditions may swell the hair strands and tighten the knots, as I mentioned before. And the conditioner has chemistry in it that it will then make the hair de-swell. This is fine to do when the hair has minor tangles or is completely detangled.

But when the hair is matted, conditioner can sometimes make the situation more complex and complicated. Good luck! If you take your time, I believe you can save her hair with the oil/glycerine combination, your fingers and the sewing needle!

 

[SelahOco]

Thank you so much, @Chicoro ! Such valuable info! You can't know how thankful I am.

 

[Chicoro]

It is a blessing that you are able to be present with your mother.

My mother used the process and got her mats out herself. I'm too far away to be able to come and help her. She has very sore, tender fingers from her illness and she is extremely tender headed. She got all the matts out and was able to have the energy to get her hair done at the beauty shop!

 

[Chicoro]

Thank you so much, @Chicoro ! Such valuable info! You can't know how thankful I am.

You are welcome!

I think it will work. It may take you 2 to 3 days. Also, hold the hair at the root to minimize the tug and pain she may feel as you try to detangle from the ends up. It's going to hurt, some though.

 

[FadingDelilah]

Remove the tangle a few strands at a time with your fingers. If the strand isn't ready to come out yet, try another one. I don't know if a comb can help with that type of matting but finger detangling this way helps me when my hair dreads up.

I hope her hair and health both make a full recovery.

 

[Chicoro]

Scurl and Shea Butter:

As your mother heals, her energy will wane and flow. So, you may want to put her hair in 4 to 8 plaits and use Scurl to keep the hair moist. You can put some Shea butter on the ends of the hair and maybe pin the little braids into bantus. That way, if she doesn't have the energy or interest to have her hair touched, you can leave it alone without the danger of it getting matted again.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

I used detangling spray in the past but I get frustrated with how the nozzle always gets clogged. I’m going to try this next time. It’s much cheaper and probably more effective.

 

[Blessed&higlyflavoured]

I was going to suggest a copious cheap silicone oil or serum.


But definitely avoid products that have water in them

 

[gn1g]

Same process as mentioned above but different products
Pantene comb thru
Evoo
Scurl spray

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

How caring of you!

This may or may not work for matted hair. But this shingle and peel detangling method changed everything for me. The lady in the video uses the term "matted," but I don't see matted hair. However, the method is the best I've used.

Basically, you elongate as much as possible the 4 or 5 strands (or however many) that you are trying to detangle from each other. Then you "peel" strands off.

I used to try to just pull strands apart (before "shingling" them to elongate them, because I hadn't thought to do so). It is MUCH easier to separate strands that are lengthened as much as possible.

I don't know if it's really all that possible to do much shingling/elongating with matted hair, but I wanted to share in case the method would become useful to you at some point in the process with your mom.

 

[krissyhair]

I made this thread a few years ago for caring for hair of people who are sick or elderly. I shared some advice from a doctor as well.

https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/sick-and-elderly-hair-care.711361/

 

[Honi]

I just did this for a friend of mine 2 weeks ago. Her waist length hair matted into a bun right in the middle of her head. I mixed vinegar and water in a nozzle and saturated her hair squeezing it through the matted bun. Next was a lot and I mean alot of olive oil. I poured it on the matted bun squeezing the oil letting it sit for about 10 minutes. I slowly and carefully began to pick away at the sections and pieces that did release with a rat tail comb starting outside in. Took me 3 hours total.

You can do it. Just takes time and patience.

 

[Chicoro]

@SelahOco ,

How did things turn out?

 

[SelahOco]

@SelahOco ,

How did things turn out?

My mom is stage 4 and she's increasingly exhausted. I don't think I'm going to have the chance to do it, honestly. I'm just in a daze y'all.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

My mom is stage 4 and she's increasingly exhausted. I don't think I'm going to have the chance to do it, honestly. I'm just in a daze y'all.

Sending you and your mom positive vibes of light and love, @SelahOco.

Take care of yourself so that you can continue to take care of your mom. If you can and it would be prudent, have a good friend or family member or church member come over and give you a 4+ hour break. Then use those 4 hours to revive and rejuvenate.

 

[Chicoro]

My mom is stage 4 and she's increasingly exhausted. I don't think I'm going to have the chance to do it, honestly. I'm just in a daze y'all.

I understand. Make sure you are eating well and getting as much rest as you need. Maybe you can get a tooth brush and oil around the edges, gently and brush those down. I bet that would feel so good to her.

 

[Sosoothing]

@SelahOco

I'm so sorry your family is going through this difficult time. I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[caribeandiva]

@SelahOco I’m sorry to hear about your mom. Please remember to take care of yourself during this very difficult time. Sending you lots of love. I’ll keep you and your mom in my prayers.

 

[NappyNelle]

((hugs)) Prayers for you and yours @SelahOco

 

[GraceJones]

I have this brush and it really helps me

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Goody-Ta...33806&wl11=online&wl12=29233214&wl13=&veh=sem

 

[Garner]

My mom is stage 4 and she's increasingly exhausted. I don't think I'm going to have the chance to do it, honestly. I'm just in a daze y'all.

My prayers go out to you and your family. Keep strong @SelahOco . With Christ all things are possible.

 

[NaturalShe94]

Sending prayers and blessings to you and your family! Stay strong and trust God hun .

 

[ThursdayGirl]

Prayers, love, and strength to you and your family. I pray she will still pull through.