Why do you detangle after you shampoo? Try wetting your hair thoroughly with warm water, glob on the conditioner, then comb through WHILE you rinse it under the shower. Then shampoo, applying the shampoo to your scalp and then just pulling the suds down the length of your hair. Don't pile it on your head and rub it and dont apply shampoo directly to your hair. After shampooing, condition/deep condition again and rinse out.
Some people also like to use a paddle brush to detangle, but this is ONLY if you are talking about sopping wet hair that is completely saturated with conditioner.
Most of all, it takes patience. Start at the ends and work up.
I like Kenra Moisturizing for detangling.