Dealing with Racist, Haughty and Arrogant People

[Guitarhero]

Seriously underemployed at the moment and looking to move past this recession....just got called "uppity" by an older white woman at work. She threw her keys in disrespect on the belt and there were maybe 25 discount cards. I only need ours and KIM. This is business. I politely got the scanner and asked her which one was our and she got huffy, "well, I've never had any problem with anybody getting it before...can't you LOOK for it?" I politely told her that "I respect other people's property." No lie. Some of them don't want you to touch them or their things. I'm surprised they even eat the food I check out. You'd think I was a big black gorilla like Sasquatch in a zoo...but I'm not. Even if I were smelling like foul rotten eggs, dripping from disease, I'd still deserve respect as a hominid.

Why me, God? I don't deserve this. This woman had a very nasty disposition of privilege and authority over others (unrighteously so) and I just got her things going and checked her out. But she was looking at everything, every movement, she knew what she was doing. She made me nervous and I kinda dropped something....by total accident. Wasn't broken or damaged...but she just wanted to make me miserable. I was smiling at her and said, "Ma'am, nothing's wrong." This was after she had the audacity to tell me, "you have a temper." She has the manipulative temper and was Satan in an old lady suit to try and hurt me.

Where in the bible does it tell white people to hover, berate and bludgeon people of color so they can get their stripes of glory in heaven? I just kept it civil and respectful. But she was a major manipulator and I'm trying to let it go. Just wanted to vent. I've forgiven her but she was an evil wicked ugly ungodly woman! I'm not trying to judge...but just put yourselves in my shoes...with all that I'm responsible for and where I work, 80% of these people are horrible! They walk all over folks they don't know. Some of them treat you like you are barely human or literate. Sigh.

Please pray that I get a real job soon. This recession has got me suffering big time. Am I a baby? No. Am I judging her unjustly? No, I'm pointing out the harm another has done me in order to vent. It's done every single day and I'm tired of these folks treating me as though I'm picking their cotton. I guess there's no humbling of the rich and untouchables in the recession. When my money wasn't tied up and I was swimming freely, I was still the same nice person, friendly, caring.

I'm grateful for any job but it's inadequate to my needs, seriously. Then to suffer from this racist horrid person! And this multiplies by the second. They all treat all us like dirt...but since I'm brown, well, it's worse. Somebody else whistled "Dixie" the other day as I went on break, passing them. erplexed

 

[8HoursFromHome]

I feel for you. That is the worst part of being in the service industry. I made myself get a job in retail so I could learn that particular skill-set. My sister tried to teach me that people like that are ALREADY miserable. There is nothing we can do to make it any better or worse. People that are miserable will ALWAYS dump on the cashiers/waitstaff of the world.

In my book, you did VERY well. I have a short temper and other issues...I would have slashed her tires or something.

I see (especially in my boss's children) that many white children are being groomed. It makes me SICK, like they're being trained to be the next generation of a$$holes or something.

I think there needs to be a 'Watermelon Man' experiment on all white folks so they can 'walk that mile'...

I have no solution for you, just an ear...

 

[Guitarhero]

Thank you, Displaced Creole.....although I'm in tears right now, I'm laughing from your post between sobs. I feel miserable. I hate racist people ('s behavior...hehehe).

 

[SND411]

Thank you, Displaced Creole.....although I'm in tears right now, I'm laughing from your post between sobs. I feel miserable. I hate racist people ('s behavior...hehehe).

I feel exactly the same way. Sometimes I feel like the whole world is fake and everyone is playing some manufactured role.

 

[Crown]

May the Father bless you with a new job!

 

[Guitarhero]

I feel exactly the same way. Sometimes I feel like the whole world is fake and everyone is playing some manufactured role.

I have to confess I was very angry with God this morning. But I can't help feeling like He chooses some makes (races) of people who get everything and then there are some who have to struggle through a breath of air. I hate feeling that way but it's honest. Why on earth should I have to put up with people who do not see you as quite human when everybody else's troubles simply are not so complicated? That's what gets me. Never mind the regular stuff, just dump all this nonsense right on top of it so my shoulders can break down!erplexed

Thing is, although I will address "whyte" attitude in a second (in my mind, in prayer, with friends), I truly see PEOPLE...not a color. I'm not trying to classify folks when I see them. I'm honest and true and have been kicked in the guts all through life. It's simply not my culture to sit down and be "less human" so somebody else can feel more secure about themselves. I have dignity. That's where my heart is, truly. I'm tired of it and realize I'm not the first nor will I be the last. But just tired.

 

[Prudent1]

First of all here's a BIG hug for you! IRL, I am a hugger. Now, let's talk about what happened, the likely reason why, and how to respond ok? If you haven't already seen it please refer to my post in the thread below. In it I share of the worst job I have ever had but how I see WHY I went through that stuff. Now I am on the other side. Some one threw some keys at me too.
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=477002

I feel for you. That is the worst part of being in the service industry. I made myself get a job in retail so I could learn that particular skill-set. My sister tried to teach me that people like that are ALREADY miserable. There is nothing we can do to make it any better or worse. People that are miserable will ALWAYS dump on the cashiers/waitstaff of the world.

In my book, you did VERY well. I have a short temper and other issues...I would have slashed her tires or something.

I see (especially in my boss's children) that many white children are being groomed. It makes me SICK, like they're being trained to be the next generation of a$$holes or something.

I think there needs to be a 'Watermelon Man' experiment on all white folks so they can 'walk that mile'...

I have no solution for you, just an ear...

We could just shut it down after the bolded was said. Misery loves company. All day everyday! It doesn't make you feel any better at the time but a person who is confident, together, and truly happy, does not feel the need to flaunt $$, looks, or whatever. On the flip side, someone messed up mentally, spiritually, emotionally or whatever does seek out someone they perceive to be 'less than them' and try to dump on them as they perceive they have been dumped on. This is human nature 101. It will continue to manifest until Jesus returns-literally.
Most of us here are the descendants of slaves. We know that black ppl were not considered human etc (still are not in some cases) or were at best considered partially human. Why? So that these sick slave owners could abuse our ancestors and lessen the natural God given guilt that would've caused restraint to be exercised. Things didn't start out that way. History tells us the first Africans arrived here as indentured servants. At some point shortly thereafter (probably after they saw the Native Americans were not willing to be enslaved and would commit suicide) the thinking/ reasoning began to change. It was all a lie but we know if you tell a lie loud enough long enough and especially to the children (so that they grow up knowing only the lie) it begins to be accepted as truth. One's conscious becomes scabbed over like a wound that is repeatedly picked open and never allowed to heal. The slave owner's wives in their frustration blamed the women for all of the little mulatto babies popping up. This is the same behavior we see when a side piece comes around and the home is destroyed. The women want to duke it out but very few hold the man accountable. The bigger his bank account, the more likely they are to turn a blind eye and blame the other chick for their pain and shame. We see this same behavior of distorted truth today in hot button issues such as abortion, gay marriages, adultery, lying church leaders, etc. All lies accepted as truth a little more daily. Numbing yourself to truth. Dumbing down yourself. Why do you think there are textbooks in schools featuring homosexual characters? Yet statically the most censored books are books based on Christianity. You get to the children while they are young and impressionable. Hitler was a master at this but he was not the only one. Think Margaret Sanger. There were many before them and there will be many in the future. It kind of goes with the discussion on a reprobate mind we had in this forum. My point is this, know your enemy, know yourself, & know your weapons. We do not wrestle against flesh and blood. When attacks come be ready. They are coming. I have worked as a server, in retail, as a cashier, and in fast food. I have been dumped on by some of the most ridiculous, ignorant ppl. Some couldn't spell, couldn't speak correct English, were only capable of simple thought processes. You name it (but they want to dump on me based solely on my ethnicity) LAWD, some of the stories I could tell. You handled that the correct way but I want you to clearly understand that the enemy does not care how he upsets you (therefore causing you to waste time you will never see again in unproductive thoughts, being upset, pity parties [my old personal fav]or whatever) he just wants to upset you. Keep you off balance. He is as a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. I had to look at some adult customers as a condition SO refers to as FI. Forever Ignorant. I would not respond to a child or person who was mentally disabled the same way I would someone who was not. Once we know what we are dealing with, we must start to respond accordingly. Lower those expectations. Even now in my current job I have to thank God under my breath sometimes for the sand paper ppl he puts around me to shape me into the Prudent1 he wants me to be. The more I do it the easier it gets. Satan knows he can't get you to respond to certain things so he sends who... 'Ms. Daisy' to you to push your buttons.

Let me share 2 scenarios that happened to me on the job from HADES:heated:. I was at work assisting an elderly WW select merchandise. Nothing I suggested was what she wanted according to her. I made sure I had a clear understanding of her needs. We must've spent 90 minutes before she informed me in a nasty tone of voice she was leaving. Well, about 20 minutes later the phone in the store rang. I answered the call. The cx on the other end asked if we carried a product capable of doing 'x'. The voice sounded remarkably like the one from my agitated elderly WW from earlier. I suggested the same products as before explaining the same way. She oooed and ahhed and thanked me excessively. Told me that was exactly what she needed. Told me she had been to the store earlier and a rude ****** girl was no help at all. She advised me (I identified myself as the manager on duty when I picked up the phone) that we needed to careful hiring such n****rs. Afterall, they were the most useless ppl ever. She ended the convo by saying she only wanted to deal with me whenever she came into the store. She wanted to know how she could be sure she got me. I spitefully told her I was the rude ****** girl who helped her earlier. She slammed that phone down. Funny now. Not so funny then.
In this same store, I was checking out a man and his daughter at my register. His child was out of control. Running around the whole nine. Everyone regardless of race was looking at her and then at him. He proceeds to say, "Becky (not her real name), you should stop that or daddy is going to give you this lady or something about I would make her stop running around." I was like. I smiled and leaned close to little Becky and said, "Oh no I'm not sweetie. We don't have use for little white girls where I'm from. It's your daddy's job to make you be still." Shoal did. Coulda' lost my job but I was sick of being the bad guy in the store. Control your own offspring.

Everyone should work retail, FF, and some sort of cx oriented business at least once.**singing** If you can make it there you'll make it anywhere it's up to you NY, NYooork. (Ok, sorry. I'm pretty silly IRL.)
You get my point. Don't be deceived or caught off guard by the tricks of the enemy. I started to pray and ask God to make me sensitive to Satan's tactics. I did not like getting sucker punched and realizing after the fact who it was. I wanted to slap him 1st or at least be quick on the defense- sheesh.

 

[Prudent1]

I have to confess I was very angry with God this morning. But I can't help feeling like He chooses some makes (races) of people who get everything and then there are some who have to struggle through a breath of air. I hate feeling that way but it's honest. Why on earth should I have to put up with people who do not see you as quite human when everybody else's troubles simply are not so complicated? That's what gets me. Never mind the regular stuff, just dump all this nonsense right on top of it so my shoulders can break down!



Thing is, although I will address "whyte" attitude in a second (in my mind, in prayer, with friends), I truly see PEOPLE...not a color. I'm not trying to classify folks when I see them. I'm honest and true and have been kicked in the guts all through life. It's simply not my culture to sit down and be "less human" so somebody else can feel more secure about themselves. I have dignity. That's where my heart is, truly. I'm tired of it and realize I'm not the first nor will I be the last. But just tired.

God is a God of fairness and righteousness. I had this same question. We may never know everything but unless something like a generational curse is broken it will continue unchecked. I do know that there are many instances in history where Africans enslaved Israelites. You reap what you sow.erplexed Sometimes the reaping takes place many generations later. So, while it may seem some races get everything, the reality of it is still that God is fair and does not have favorites. All ppl have good times and bad times in this life. That is a divisive weapon Satan uses to divert your attention elsewhere. We can choose how we respond to whatever life hands us at all times. We can't control the stuff of life but we can control how we respond. Subtle but very real differences.



I'm on the other side of a lot of stuff I went through when I was younger. I see why now for many things. The things I went through and did not give up on made me stronger. Oh they hurt like heck but I am such a better woman b/c of it. Don't ever develop a victim's mentality. It is ok to feel these things. Don't stay there emotionally. God is and always has been for you. You must never quit. I don't think you will. You be encouraged. There is light at the end of the tunnel and it's not another train headed towards you.

 

[Guitarhero]

First of all here's a BIG hug for you! IRL, I am a hugger.




Some couldn't spell, couldn't speak correct English, were only capable of simple thought processes. You name it (but they want to dump on me based solely on my ethnicity) LAWD, some of the stories I could tell. You handled that the correct way but I want you to clearly understand that the enemy does not care how he upsets you (therefore causing you to waste time you will never see again in unproductive thoughts, being upset, pity parties [my old personal fav]or whatever) he just wants to upset you.

Thank you!!! But please understand this is not a pity party. I live in a very racist area. I moved her 3 years ago, not knowing about how the people are. HOw could I? My realtor is white. Where I attend church, people don't wish to extend to you the sign of peace sometimes. It's that strong an issue. Now that I'm facing constant humiliation in a temporary job, it just makes the cake. It's not a pity party, I know the enemy is at work and I'm trying to put together a plan. Sometimes catharsis is good. There are those who hold it in and die from disease. I'm attempting to apply the faith to this situation. Lawd knows He uses positions like these to make us greater. He served...the first will be last and the last first. He surely was that example. Your situation...encouragement I'll make it over. Thank you!!!

 

[Prudent1]

Thank you!!! But please understand this is not a pity party. I live in a very racist area. I moved her 3 years ago, not knowing about how the people are. HOw could I? My realtor is white. Where I attend church, people don't wish to extend to you the sign of peace sometimes. It's that strong an issue. Now that I'm facing constant humiliation in a temporary job, it just makes the cake. It's not a pity party, I know the enemy is at work and I'm trying to put together a plan. Sometimes catharsis is good. There are those who hold it in and die from disease. I'm attempting to apply the faith to this situation. Lawd knows He uses positions like these to make us greater. He served...the first will be last and the last first. He surely was that example. Your situation...encouragement I'll make it over. Thank you!!!

Oh no, no, no. I was the one who used to indulge in the pity parties.
I want to verify what you've already shown you know. There is light at the end of the tunnel. No. I think you did great with how you are handling things.

 

[kayte]

I totally identify with being the recipient of racist behavior.....
In those moments......
remember.... I am the daughter of the Most High fearfully and wonderfully made

I think part of the pain...might have been that you felt your own personal power
being disrupted and compromised...but that is the enemy's lie....

she didn't take your power.....tho she wanted to...
you handled it so well

but she just wanted to make me miserable. I was smiling at her and said, "Ma'am, nothing's wrong." This was after she had the audacity to tell me, "you have a temper."

I think you felt you HAD to,but there's nothing here to smile for
and it was probably jarring to your lovely spirit... cas you didn't want to smile.
Keep your smile for YOU...for when you WANT to
not because you feel threatened....

She didn't deserve a smile and she didnt deserve a Maam and she didnt deserve an answer

you can STILL be civil...businesslike..keep your job...
without doing any of those thing in the face of abuse.

I ALWAYS feel better no matter how rude someone is..if I can match them
not in rudeness......... but in keeping focused on what I want,and completely DETACH..
{takes practice! }
I get a kick out of..wow ..she/he tried to get me but I did XYZ
and it didn't work..ha-ha!

here's a few technical ways...how
Some one who is being rude deserves only minimum conversation & contact
in the future......... say as little as possible......nothing is best..if you can
and do not answer or ever attempt to justify or defend any insult...
even if it's posited as a service statement....like.... "People have always found it before"
Don't answer that!
that...stupid meaningless judgement

you have a temper

.
That's a personal unprofessional out of bounds statement
Don't answer that! Do not defend yourself..why? It's not about you
It's ONLY Misery Mary looking for company. Understand?

Dont feed into it. Don't even look up. Act as if you are deaf....work on some papers
She's not privileged.......she's sick

Just repeat what you said in a monotone... or
better yet.... say nothing
and stand there waiting for the card....

excuse yourself for a sec ...if you can...pardon me I need to check
with some thing and go take a breather and a 1 sec prayer
I am YOUR daughter..praying for peace and understanding
it will be about connecting with God ...to the peace that surpasses all understanding
and NOT about them

the gift of these situations are to teach how me to handle them because
this will come back to me in another form until I master it ...then another level comes up

Maybe a wholistic look?

I'm grateful for any job but it's inadequate to my needs, seriously. Then to suffer from this racist horrid person! And this multiplies by the second. They all treat all us like dirt...but since I'm brown, well, it's worse. Somebody else whistled "Dixie" the other day as I went on break, passing them

Consider a serious change in location at some point?
I find living in a toxic environment whether because it's extremely isolated
or physically uncomfortable...or racist...motivation to find a home
home is your sanctuary and you are not feeling safe in your homes
church and house


Remember,dear, you are beautiful ..you are daughter of the MOST HIGH
fearfully and wonderfully made.........

nobody can take that away from you

((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[kayte]

Please pray that I get a real job soon.

Girl..I am ON it

 

[Guitarhero]

she didn't take your power.....tho she wanted to...
you handled it so well

That's why that trick said I had a temper, to turn the tables on me. She was initially rude and condescending to me. Absolutely.


You don't HAVE to suck it up...I think you felt you HAD to
There's nothing here to smile for.....and it was probably jarring to your lovely spirit
cas you didn't want to smile.
Keep your smile for YOU...for when you WANT to
not because you feel threatened....

She didn't deserve a smile and she didnt deserve a Maam and she didnt deserve an answer in the future you can STILL be civil...businesslike..keep your job...
without doing any of those thing in the face of abuse.

Well, it's in customer service and we HAVE to...barf! We get mystery shoppers who grade us and also management in our faces all the time about this issue. It's disgusting how people will cater to the rich and be "nice" to them, letting them think they run the show...just to get more of their money. That's the fake life NOT FOR ME! But I digress...I have to keep this employ until a real one comes along.

I ALWAYS feel better no matter how rude someone is..if I can match them
not in rudeness......... but in keeping focused on what I want,not on them
I get a kick out of..wow ..she/he tried to get me but I did XYZ
and it didn't work..ha-ha!

Actually, the reason she told me I had a temper was that I pulled the scanner to enter her data card on her keychain...which was amidst 5,000 others...and she had the audacity to tell me she never had a problem with others. I solved it by simply saying I'd scan our card if she will tell me which one. I went the distance ....she didn't agree. She was pissed lolol! She didn't win. That was base one!

here's a few technical ways...how
Some one who is being rude deserves only minimum conversation & contact
in the future......... say as little as possible......nothing is best..if you can
and do not answer or ever attempt to justify or defend any insult...
even if it's posited as a service statement....like.... "People have always found it before"
Don't answer that!
that...stupid meaningless judgement

Unfortunately, this was addressed just a little above...customer service... They suck. I'll keep it christian.
.
That's a personal unprofessional out of bounds statement
Don't answer that! Do not defend yourself with non-sense
Don't even look up. Act as if you are deaf....work on some papers

Just repeat what you said in a monotone... or
better yet.... say nothing
and stand there waiting for the card....

Are we related? LOLOL. Cuz part of her be at CHINg was that I wasn't overly joyed to deal with her. Monotone, and at the appropriate time, a smile ....forced and to the point.

excuse yourself for a sec ...if you can...pardon me I need to check
with some thing and go take a breather and a 1 sec prayer
I am YOUR daughter..praying for peace and understanding
it will be about connecting with God ...to the peace that surpasses all understanding
and NOT about them

I'l looking for my St. Benedict's medal now that I will keep at the register for all evil wretches who dare come to me.

the gift of these situations are to teach how me to handle them because
this will come back to me in another form until I master it ...then another level comes up

Maybe a wholistic look?




Consider a serious change in location at some point?
I find living in a toxic environment whether because it's extremely isolated
or physically uncomfortable...or racist...motivation to find a home
home is your sanctuary and you are not feeling safe in your homes
church and house


Remember,dear, you are beautiful ..you are daughter of the MOST HIGH
fearfully and wonderfully made.........

nobody can take that away from you

((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

:blowkiss: I love you too and you are also wonderfully made!!!