dealing with fokti comments..... that border on the good hair bad hair notion..(rant)

[Wildchild453]

That tends to lead into a dialogue about the amazing effect of using water on ones hair more than 12 times a year can have.

Freaking Dead

 

[sweetascocoa]

Re: dealing with fokti comments..... that border on the good hair bad hair notion..(r

yeah, that's a lot of black, LOL....but that 1/16th is enough for all of us to be able to see. plus, most of us black folks in the US have other stuff mixed in, due to slavery and stuff back in the day....i would bet good money that NO ONE on this board is 100% black....

..............................

I've looked at your fotki several times, and to be honest I did not
think you were multi-racial. My only thought was "What a nice
head of hair; it's so healthy".

Me too.......

 

[naturallylovely]

Re: dealing with fokti comments..... that border on the good hair bad hair notion..(r

..............................

Most of us, in America, have something else mixed in somewhere down the line....some just have it closer than others

 

[EMJazzy]

I get the good hair comment on occaision, I'm sure to a much less extent than the OP, but I always say "Thank you, I bet you'd be surprised by what your own natural hair looks like with proper care."

That tends to lead into a dialogue about the amazing effect of using water on ones hair more than 12 times a year can have.

That is so damn true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get the same comments now!

 

[Vshanell]

so today i noticed one or two comments on my fotki i dont suspect its anyone from here, though i could be wrong.

but how do you deal with comments that border on good hair or bad hair notions. normally i just state that all good hair is good hair,, which it is as long as its healthy. but this person asked me if i was mixed...

now Irl when im asked that, (an i am ...alot). just telling that no is not good enough. they never seem to believe me, saying "but you HAVE to be mixed with something" is the answer that i usually get. then ill sigh an say 'well my grandpa is 1/2 chinese if that means anything" and they are usually satisfied with that... my rant is that that would make me like 1/16 for what its worth, i dont understand how 1/16 of anything could rise up above my black genes and make me have good hair or lighter skin lol. i personally dont believe any of this , my skin is average color for a black person and my hair to me is normal black hair.

should i just copy and paste this rant in my fotki lol. should i just ignore it, ignoring it may seem like im accepting it. it just boggles my mind everytime i get asked questions like that.

how do you deal with those types of comments?

I get asked this a lot, more in my real life than online. I did get a comment in my album asking if I was mixed. I left it there and I even answered it because it's not something I'm trying to hide. For the record though....I'm not mixed . People always give me the "yeah right" look when I tell them that.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I've looked at your fotki several times, and to be honest I did not
think you were multi-racial. My only thought was "What a nice
head of hair; it's so healthy".

You will never be able to satisify everyone, whether they mean
well or not. So why try? IMHO, all hair is good hair if it is on
our heads. There is no bad hair, only bad hair care.

Ultimately, the best response you can give is the one you are
most comfortable with. If that is no response, it's okay. There
are many fotki posts that are not responded to.

I like that. I will steal this!

 

[melodee]

Silver, you're a beautiful lady--no matter what!

 

[GoldenBreeze]

I like that. I will steal this!

Locks, go right ahead. I hope someone's day can be brightened
by it, if only just a little.

 

[Bosslady1]

It just gives her an excuse not to take care of her hair and not to strive to have hair as healthy as yours. You should have just said "No" and left it at that, knowing some one's family tree is not going to help you take better care of your hair.

You are so right.

 

[facets]

Re: dealing with fokti comments..... that border on the good hair bad hair notion..(r

I wouldn't let it get you down nor would I get so quick to be mad at the other person. Like I said, I don't think that the people who asked you that were trying to be malicious and/or hurt your feelings.

I will be honest, when I look through fotkis I have a certain preference. Just like some naturals prefer to look at natural albums, relaxed heads like to look at relaxed albums, women with type 4b hair etc. I think it is only natural to have these preferences. Now this may be my own thing ( I personally call it a preference but some people look at it as a fault) but when I look through fotkis I look for inspiration. I like to look through fotkis of people who have hair like me (via hair type or relaxed) or who I think are like me (racially).

I don't think the person asked you if you were black to put you down moreso to get confirmation that you don't have to be mixed to have long hair. It's like "Oooh she has pretty hair, but before I get all hyped thinking this can/will be me, lemme make sure she is LIKE me first." Some women are still under an impression that it is 'easier' for mixed women to have long hair-and I will admit that a part of this rings true to me too. Though everything that is said on this board is contrary to this belief, I still think so. Probably always will.

Now I am not saying I thought it was easier for you personally, since I never seen your fotki before this post, just giving you light from the other side of the spectrum. It might just be a confirmation type thing. I hope you get what I am saying.

i think that's true too, it's don't think it's meant as accusation/calling out etc. just trying to figure out if you both(u and the admirer) have similar backgrounds/'blackgrounds'...if they can realistically achieve your look.

'Black' is a huge umbrella in the US. There's also lots of great hair on the African continent. Maybe the fokti fans are just trying to collect more info.

 

[chica_canella]

I think it is rude to ask someone what they are mixed with and maybe you should just say in your fotki, "I am black."

 

[Wishin4BSL]

Re: dealing with fokti comments..... that border on the good hair bad hair notion..(r

i tell people this all the time.....it's so true. i was natural for a long while before i found the boards, but my hair did not look ANYTHING like it does now....

No problem! I love the biological method of psychology! (even though it's not my first choiceerplexed )

 

[neena]

I thought she was Asian (bi-racial) too.

So did I.

 

[DahomeyAhosi]

Re: dealing with fokti comments..... that border on the good hair bad hair notion..(r

FYI there are many Africans who are racially mixed. Being from Africa does not indicate that a person is 100% black. There are many ethnic groups that have a high percentage of mixture, primarily Arab. Tuaregs and Fulanis are in this group. A good book on African ethnic and religious mixtures is The Africans: A Triple Heritage by Ali Mazrui.

I would have to respectfully agree. I would not ask you what you were mixed with, because I feel like I would have already known that answer. I'm not saying this to downplay the health of your hair, cause I'm sure if you did not take care of it, it would be jacked up. But, my point is that 1/16 is a lot compared to people who don't have anything mixed in. I feel the ingnorant part comes in when people neglect the fact that they are tribes in Africa with light skin and "good" hair, so I would not doubt it possible for someone to have a softer texture of hair and not be mixed. I know people from the Fulani tribe, who have hair in the 3a3b area and they are straight from Africa.

Don't know if Im rambling, but to me, you do appear to be mixed, and you are probably going to be asked if you are mixed a million times, whether it's on fotki or not...because to me, you don't look like the "average" black person, but one of mixed decent.....just my two cents

I will add, that you hair looks awesome and that you are very pretty....