Daughter's Hair Won't Grow! Help!

*Knotty_By_Nature*

*Knotty_By_Nature*

Member
Hello everyone! It's been years since I've been on LHCF and I'm glad to be back. I'm desperate for help with my daughter's hair. She's 10 years old and I have never been able to get her hair to grow past ear length. I feel really bad for her as she's beginning to get a bit self conscious when around other girls her age. Here are some pictures of her hair. It's also extremely frizzed. Not matter how much gel or edge control I put on it. Seconds later it's frizzy and all over the place. Any thoughts, tips, advice, etc. would be much appreciated!
 

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Moisture, moisture, moisture is the key! Based off the pictures, I can already tell her hair looks like it's in the type 4 category. Type 4 hair cannot function on gel alone. It needs water, oil, and a conditioning product. Otherwise known as the LOC method (liquid, oil, & cream).

The easiest way to do this is buy making sure her hair is soaked with warm water before ANY styling. Blot out the excess with a towel. Then apply an oil such as Africa's Best Herbal Oil (very moisturizing - don't use too much), then finally a conditioning agent such as ORS Hair Lotion or Hawaiian Silky 14-1 leave-in. Get rid of picks and invest in a detangler comb for Afro hair that won't hurt her such as the Fromm MT952 shower detangler (this literally saved my hair). And her hair should absolutely thrive from this method.

Type 4 hair is all about retaining moisture and taking it nice and slow when it comes to detangling. As long as you remember those keys, she should be fine and see ultimate growth. Make sure she wears a bonnet or cap to protect her hair before she goes to sleep. Sleeping on hair is a huge no-no and contributor to breakage. The last thing I would suggest is to switch to a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner brand best suited for her hair type such as Herbal Essence Hello Hydration series (tried it and loved it) or Mane N' Tail (love it and makes hair grow fast).
 
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Is her hair being washed once a week with a Moisturizing shampoo, and Moisturizing deep conditioner?
does she sleep with a satin scarf?

Those bonnets that are sold in the bss/Walmart on loose dry natural can cause snagging and damage.

What is being used to moisturize her hair throughout the week?

And maybe you should start getting her hair two strand twisted. Use Moisturizing products to twist the hair. Stay away from gels and pomades

She might not have the type of hair where her edges can be on fleek...lol so don't force a round peg into a square hole.

And I would use a Moisturizing detangling spray after washing and conditioning her hair. Detangle in sections and use a wide toothed comb. Be gentle.

Don't go spending money on a bunch of teas, products, potions, etc.,
Be mindful of a bunch of products laced with protein. Shea Moisture and Cantu products have protein in them, as well as Elasta QP.

Go to the Children's hair section of this board, search through the hair challenges to get some more tips and ideas.
But remember, you can't comb her hair when it's dry. And having it in her shrunken fro may lead to single strand knots/tangles. You may need to trim her ends a bit as well.
 
I'm VERY new to the long hair/health journey! Some blogs to follow, which I've stumbled upon are... lots of awesome advice/tips. Just Grow Already chronicles her journey from shoulder length damaged hair to incredibly healthy waist length hair!!

Longingforlength.com
justgrowalready.com
bellemocha.com

Maybe also consider her shampoo? Could it be too harsh? I am learning that products. Matter!!
 
First, her hair IS growing! If you were to shave it, it would grow back. The problem is retention which means her hair is breaking off, not that it is not growing.

So you have to think about what might be causing it to break. Dryness? Rough detangling? Harsh styles? It could be any number of things.

If dryness, up the moisture as someone stated.

If rough detangling, get a seamless wide tooth comb to detangle. Fingercomb first to separate into manageable sections then use the comb. Best to detangle in the shower with a detangling condifioner in her hair.

If it is harsh styles, use protective style more. Twists, braids, etc. where you can leave the hair alone for at least a week at a time.
 
Thank you for the replies! I am soaking in every bit of information. I believe the dryness is the main culprit. I would also like to add that my daughter does competitive cheerleading. And unfortunately I am having to brush her hair up into a ponytail more often than I would like for competitions. Any ideas on how best to help her hair recover from this? Keep the comments coming. Thanks, ladies!
 
I wash her hair every other week and try to keep a moisturizer on her hair consistently in between washes. I will co wash in between or go to every week if she has a lot of product build up. I detangle her hair with a paddle brush. When it has to be in a ponytail I brush it up with a boar bristle brush. Which I know is not great but her hair has to be up for competitions and I'm not sure what else to use. I've realized from these responses that I am not sealing her hair like I should be.
 
*Knotty_By_Nature* said:
Thank you for the replies! I am soaking in every bit of information. I believe the dryness is the main culprit. I would also like to add that my daughter does competitive cheerleading. And unfortunately I am having to brush her hair up into a ponytail more often than I would like for competitions. Any ideas on how best to help her hair recover from this? Keep the comments coming. Thanks, ladies!
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Braided ponytail bun. Something like this:
 
What products are you using? Maybe if you named them someone here could see if that may be where you are going wrong?
Also a paddle brush on her type of hair isn't a good detangling tool I don't think. I have 4ab hair and I use a wide tooth comb followed by a denman to detangle, and only on hair fully saturated in water and conditioner.
I think @Holla 's suggestion of the braided bun is a good one... Do you often have her in protective styles?
 
You should wash her hair more often than twice a month. You only really condition your hair when you wash it and at this point, you are only conditioning her hair 24 days out of 365 days a year. That is way too little, esp for someone experiencing such breakage.

Also make sure you are using GOOD products. I look for conditioning products with ceramides, protein (not heavy but light), oils that penetrate, etc. Personally, I avoid products with shea butter (bc it is a waxy product that coats the hair and does nothing for me).


*Knotty_By_Nature* said:
I wash her hair every other week and try to keep a moisturizer on her hair consistently in between washes. I will co wash in between or go to every week if she has a lot of product build up. I detangle her hair with a paddle brush. When it has to be in a ponytail I brush it up with a boar bristle brush. Which I know is not great but her hair has to be up for competitions and I'm not sure what else to use. I've realized from these responses that I am not sealing her hair like I should be.
Click to expand...
 
I think you may be breaking her hair when you detangle. My hair is similar to your daughter's. The way I detangle is crucial because it is a major source of hair breakage if I am not careful. I also agree her hair needs to be conditioned more often. Well conditioned and balanced (moisture and protein) hair is much easier to handle. Less tangles, etc.

I would also start braiding her hair up with extensions. That would solve the issue of hair for cheer practice and you would spend less time manipulating the hair, which means fewer opportunities for breakage.
 
I would do two strand twists as a second option to the cute cornrow ponytail that was posted. Those are easy to pull up into an updo. The hair tools that you are using are very rough for her hair type. I would also switch to finger detangling or a seamless comb. I wouldn't be surprised if your daughter is 4a too. Though I don't see too many coils in the first pic, the texture reminds me of my hair when it's dry and over manipulated. 4a hair is super fragile, so if you notice she has larger coils here and there, then I would skip the hair tools complety. Here are some products I would try for moisture:
Mielle Organics DC
Trader joes tea tree conditioner for Cowashing
Design Essentials deep moisture milk souffle
Shea Butter mix for a sealant
Extreme Wetline gel for a non drying hold
Shea moisture hair smoothie
Shea moisture hi po shampoo
Shea moisture moisture retention shampoo

Tools:
Turbie twists or micro fiber towels
Ribbon ties
Satin scrunchies
 
I did a search for "homemade" protein treatments. And I found one with 2 eggs, grapseed oil followed by coconut oil. Google that and many blogs, YT videos will pop up. I am learning that healthy hair is a true balancing act and those who take the time time figure it out have great success!

This is one YT video that I stumbled upon and will be doing this tonight. I am not necessarily doing it for overnight hair growth but I want to try it for moisturizing sake.

 
Isn't frizzy hair a sign of lack of moisture? Dry hair breaks off so if her hair is frizzy and breaking off leading to lack of retention, it's probably because her hair is not being moisturized properly. Make sure you are using a leave in conditioner underneath the gel.
Start using moisturizing deep conditioners after each wash as well.
Sealing is also important to keep the moisture in. Use an oil that works well for her hair on the length and ends after applying a leave in conditioner.
 
KenyafromCT said:
I did a search for "homemade" protein treatments. And I found one with 2 eggs, grapseed oil followed by coconut oil. Google that and many blogs, YT videos will pop up. I am learning that healthy hair is a true balancing act and those who take the time time figure it out have great success!

This is one YT video that I stumbled upon and will be doing this tonight. I am not necessarily doing it for overnight hair growth but I want to try it for moisturizing sake.

Click to expand...


I didn't get a chance to watch & my hair does not play well with coconut oil, but heads up, Eggs & coconut oil sounds like dryer/stronger hair vs. Moisture.
 
KenyafromCT said:
Ok! I'm still new at this...makes sense. I also have advocado, honey and Greek yogurt! Is that a good homemade moisture treatment?
Click to expand...
I'm sorry that I can't give any advice on the natural mixtures, but it sounds nice. Have you tried it before?
 
*Knotty_By_Nature* said:
Thank you for the replies! I am soaking in every bit of information. I believe the dryness is the main culprit. I would also like to add that my daughter does competitive cheerleading. And unfortunately I am having to brush her hair up into a ponytail more often than I would like for competitions. Any ideas on how best to help her hair recover from this? Keep the comments coming. Thanks, ladies!
Click to expand...

I would definitely incorporate prepoo treatments no matter what route you take - Something as simple as using Olive Oil or purchasing a prepoo product, or looking up different mixes you can concoct at home will help condition and protect the hair during the wash day process which is especially beneficial for dry hair.

I would wash and deep conditioner her hair once a week.

I can suggest a complete line that is totally focused on "Moisture" if you are concerned with products having too much. The creator is a chemist herself and very ingredient conscious. I've used the line for years now and it's a staple and extremely moisturizing. Check out Obia Naturals. The products can now be found on the ground in select Sally's, Harmon's, Walmart, Target and other stores (use the store locator). There's moisturizing creams from light to heavy and specifically for twists and braids, and a non drying/moisturizing Custard that can be used to smooth and slick back styles without guilt vs some of the less healthier gels.

Considering twists or cornrows up into a ponytail style that was mentioned is worth considering to minimize the manipulation. Even if you use twists/braids after washing to stretch the hair as it dries you may find it easier to manipulate into smoothing into a ponytail than working with her hair in an unstretched state and may have less breakage.
 
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*Knotty_By_Nature* said:
Hello everyone! It's been years since I've been on LHCF and I'm glad to be back. I'm desperate for help with my daughter's hair. She's 10 years old and I have never been able to get her hair to grow past ear length. I feel really bad for her as she's beginning to get a bit self conscious when around other girls her age. Here are some pictures of her hair. It's also extremely frizzed. Not matter how much gel or edge control I put on it. Seconds later it's frizzy and all over the place. Any thoughts, tips, advice, etc. would be much appreciated!
Click to expand...
OMG! She is my hair twin. I had the exact same problem, coupled with the fact that my people didn't know jack about hair...I heard many a bald-headed joke and that teasing can cut to the soul and last a lifetime. Her hair is growing or she wouldn't have any. The trick is to keep the ends healthy enough not to break off as fast as it grows. Her hair needs care, moisture and protein and a regular regimen. I'll bet her hair is fine and coily. Look for gentle shampoos and conditioners. I would invest in a couple of satin bonnets so she's not sleeping with her head on a cotton pillowcase. Help her to understand the beauty of her hair and how to treat it. I would keep the styling simple. I'm sure this board will give you what you need. Good luck to you and your beautiful daughter.
 
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Looking at her hair, I echo what others have said. Her hair needs moisture. I would wash or at least wet it 1-2 times per week. Do not manipulate it dry. For buns, you can either wash and wet bun after adding leave-in, or spritz with water and add a hair milk before bunning. I regularly bun and do both methods.

Her hair is likely high porosity, which means you should do the LOC (liquid oil cream) or LCO method to moisturize each day. If it is low porosity, however, you can skip days and do LO or LC because low porosity hair retains more moisture and is more easily weighed down.

She likely needs more moisture than protein, but don't ignore protein altogether. I would start with once per month, and see if it needs to increase because the strands are weak.

For reference, my hair is just above waistlength in the back (I just cut 1.5-2 inches off my ends), and BSL in the front.
 
I would keep her hair braided up using the deep moisture method (w/ or w/o extensions). I would redo her braids every 4-6 weeks and deep condition with heat using Queen Helene Super Cholesterol for at least an hour, then braid her hair back up. If you must shampoo, only shampoo once using a mild shampoo (like CON). I suggest a co-wash though.

While she is in braids, spray her hair DAILY in the morning and evening with water and/or aloe juice and seal with oil (jojoba, or grapeseed, or hemp or shea butter, etc.). Have her sleep with a satin scarf.

Good luck and happy hair growing for your little one!
 
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I didn't see you mention deep conditioning her hair.

I would do the following:

Once a week:
Detangle on damp hair with a light oil...maybe coconut, olive, or grapeseed. Use a wide tooth seamless comb and your fingers ONLY. No paddle brush.
Shampoo or cowash (alternate weeks shampoo or cowash) with a cleansing conditioner. Make sure her scalp is CLEAN.
Deep condition with a good moisture DC...EVERY WEEK.
Moisturize, seal (use a leave in, a moisturizer, and a nice thick oil like castor or some type of butter).
Put into twists or do a cornrow updo for competitions. The twists will hold the moisture better than loose hair.

Bi-Weekly:
Light protein treatment.

Monthly: Clarify for buildup with a gentle clarifying shampoo, then use a sulfate free moisturizing shampoo.

Every Few Days: Spritz with water or water/ leave in conditioner and heavy seal with a butter of some sort (whatever her hair likes) in the twists that she already has in.

My DD is BSB and she has the type of 4c hair that would be short and broken off w/out my consistent care. A proper regimen works.
 
I kinda have same texture, I find when I leave hair out in a ponytail ( I go hard with the EcoStyler, Lol), hair rarely grows. My hair benefits from being elongated, twistouts, etc, with these styles they can last days then take out for free hair, rinse and recycle
 
Your daughter's hair is beautiful. My daughter is 9 almost 10 these are the things that have helped:

- sleeping w/a satin or silk sleep cap since 6 months old.
- Wash and deep condition under a hooded dryer every 2 weeks.
- 2ming aphogee protein once a month
- Mainly finger detangle.
***- If you want to jump start her growth put her in single braids for 6 months + (redoing every few weeks) using either her own hair or add extensions.
- Massage her scalp and make sure the scalp has no product build up

Happy hair growing :)
 
A ton of information here! Thank you everyone for your advice! I am going to set a regimen for my daughter, stick with it and see where it goes from there. I just deep conditioned her hair tonight. I braided it up and sent her to bed with her satin bonnet on. I will take braids out tomorrow and let her wear a braid out to school. Will post pictures. Thanks so much, ladies!
 
KenyafromCT said:
I did a search for "homemade" protein treatments. And I found one with 2 eggs, grapseed oil followed by coconut oil. Google that and many blogs, YT videos will pop up. I am learning that healthy hair is a true balancing act and those who take the time time figure it out have great success!

This is one YT video that I stumbled upon and will be doing this tonight. I am not necessarily doing it for overnight hair growth but I want to try it for moisturizing sake.

Click to expand...


This treatment dried my hair out.
 
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