Dating After Divorce?

[antoine]

Have any of you ladies gone through this? I am going through a divorce and am wondering about dating. No, I am not AT ALL ready to date again, but I am just wondering since I have been out of the dating game for about 9 years, what is an appropriate timeframe to start to consider dating and being social again after divorce.

I was telling a close friend of mine that I could see me being single for the rest of my days - she of course thinks i am way too young to think like that (mid 30's), but I dont have any trust, repect or belief in relationships right now, so I know i'm still healing.

Those of you that have found boyfriends after your divorce , how long did it take you to feel comfortable out on a date again and start believing in the whole relationship concept.

 

[blasianbeauty]

I'm sorry that you're going through a divorce. Hopefully some of the ladies here can give you input, I would like to know too.

 

[PinkSkates]

It took me 1 year before I went out on my first post-divorce date. And I know its cliched...but time will heal your wounds. Good luck with your new life

 

[antoine]

It took me 1 year before I went out on my first post-divorce date. And I know its cliched...but time will heal your wounds. Good luck with your new life

Hi and thanks for the words of encouragement! Yes, time will tell. I am notorious in my circle for burying myself in my work and home and shutting down socially and I promised myself this go-round I would force myself to be social - even if it means going to museaums, movies, and malls alone just to get out of the house and keep active.

 

[Sosoothing]

IMO I think you can just enjoy the company of the opposite sex (dinner, movie, walk in the park) even soon after the divorce is final. It doesnt have to mean you are seeking a boyfriend or a serious relationship, just some good male company once in a while and at the same time something to boost your confidence.
But you should wait until you feel ready. There is no definite time frame for these things. Only you will know when its your time.

 

[tarheelgurl]

It took me about a year also before I had my first Post Divorce date. It was weird at first. You eventually find your groove and I don't know about anyone else but my tast in men changed drastically post marriage!

ANNND, for me, it is so easy to cut a dude loose after my divorce. When I was back in the dating game, I would be like "holla" in a minute. If somebody seemed just a little off, or a little crazy, I wouldn't return their calls and I wouldn't answer the phone when they called. Basically, I started dating like a dude!!

 

[antoine]

It took me about a year also before I had my first Post Divorce date. It was weird at first. You eventually find your groove and I don't know about anyone else but my tast in men changed drastically post marriage!

ANNND, for me, it is so easy to cut a dude loose after my divorce. When I was back in the dating game, I would be like "holla" in a minute. If somebody seemed just a little off, or a little crazy, I wouldn't return their calls and I wouldn't answer the phone when they called. Basically, I started dating like a dude!!

See, this is how I feel now. I'm like hmmm that kind of man USED to be cute to me. Well, if nothing else, this next phase of my life should be very interesting. Thanks for the replies ladies!

 

[DragonPearl]

IMO I think you can just enjoy the company of the opposite sex (dinner, movie, walk in the park) even soon after the divorce is final. It doesnt have to mean you are seeking a boyfriend or a serious relationship, just some good male company once in a while and at the same time something to boost your confidence.
But you should wait until you feel ready. There is no definite time frame for these things. Only you will know when its your time.

I agree.

As for me, I was back to dating 1 or 2 months after I separated with my first husband. I was too through...

 

[life_is_great]

HI ANtoine. I sent you a PM.

 

[antoine]

HI ANtoine. I sent you a PM.

Hi Mrs_No_More! I'll check out the link and thanks bunches for the support.

 

[klb120475]

I was just thinking about this topic the other day. It's been about 9 years for me too since I've been outta the dating game...and it's really weird. Things have changed since my dating days.

My sister says dating is kinda like jumping rope. You gotta eye the rope so you'll know when to jump in....lol Problem is, I've never been good at jumping rope...especially double dutch.

I've been separated for a year now. My divorce will be final in a few weeks...Praise God! I'm not at all ready to date. What's working best for me is enjoying my singleness, until I feel I'm ready to jump in.

 

[Whimsy]

I just made a similar thread!!

I was out of the dating game for 6 years.
My relationship ended a month ago.
I had my first date last night.
It works for me, but everyone's different.