Dating a Man 10 or more years older than you!

[femalegold]

I met a man about two weeks ago that is 13 years older than me! Things are ok I'm not really trying to jump into a relationship because I just ended one over a month ago.

I'm wondering has anyone dated men 10 + years older. How did it work out? Was he posessive? Was he more nurturing? Was age constantly a problem for you? Did you often think this man is why to old for me?

 

[Lilakoi’s_Sister]

yep, i have. i dated a man that was 14 years older than me. actually, i've dated a couple of guys 10+ years older than me. well, i don't know if i am the best person to ask because none of those experiences went very well. in my experience, those men tried to take advantage of me because they thought i was young and naive. i found that funny because i am no where near naive and it's not like i'm 18 and right out of high school plus i can spot foolishness a mile away. so... needless to say, those relationships did not prosper.

 

[TwistedRoots]

Yes ma'am I'm a fan of older men...I'm about at a 10-15year age gap. Sometimes its difficult because my 21years to there 30+ there are some general differences. I've learned alot about myself and about many other things from being with older men. I talk to younger guys every now and then, but it doesn't really go any further than that...all my friends think I weird but hey thats my just my cup of tea!

 

[femalegold]

yep, i have. i dated a man that was 14 years older than me. actually, i've dated a couple of guys 10+ years older than me. well, i don't know if i am the best person to ask because none of those experiences went very well. in my experience, those men tried to take advantage of me because they thought i was young and naive. i found that funny because i am no where near naive and it's not like i'm 18 and right out of high school plus i can spot foolishness a mile away. so... needless to say, those relationships did not prosper.

Yeah I've dated one other guy 10 years older and that experience was awful. I keep thinkiing about how controling the other guy was, now I'm comparing both men. I know thats bad.

 

[Lilakoi’s_Sister]

Yeah I've dated one other guy 10 years older and that experience was awful. I keep thinkiing about how controling the other guy was, now I'm comparing both men. I know thats bad.

yeah try not to compare but it's hard. i find myself doing it too. i'm working on that though.

 

[misskris816]

I recently dated a man that was 17 years older than me. It wasn't anything to write home about..he wasn't very romantic, but I'm still a fan of older men in general.

 

[Nola Darling]

I honestly think it's a good thing. A while back when my current boyfriend and I were broken up I found that the older guys made for the best dates.

One guy in particular was almost 40 and I was 22!! He fooled me though because he looked no older than 25 since he was big on working out. He was sweet, held the door, paid for the tab unlike my younger dates, suggested items on the menu for me, called and checked to see if I made it home ok, and never played any games.

The only thing that bothered me was that the generation gap was so obvious in our conversations. I never continued dating him because of my own life changes. But he was a really nice guy.

So I say go for it!!!

 

[DarkAngell]

I *usually* do. My ex was 10 yrs + and he played with my emotions for a very long time. The last guy i was seeing was 13 yrs + and it didnt work out cause he didnt know whether he was coming or going. I dated someone who was 20 yrs + and he treated me great and the connection we had was 1 in a million but in the end THAT age gap bothered me to much and was something i realized i'd never accept.

My SO now is 6 months younger then me. He treats me better and plays waaay less games then guy #1 played and guy #2 TRIED to play.

Im still attracted to older guys and would probably date one still if i wasnt with SO. But if i had known then what i know now i would've been more cautious of the games they try and run on you.

 

[FemmeCreole]

I met a man about two weeks ago that is 13 years older than me! Things are ok I'm not really trying to jump into a relationship because I just ended one over a month ago.

I'm wondering has anyone dated men 10 + years older. How did it work out? Was he posessive? Was he more nurturing? Was age constantly a problem for you? Did you often think this man is why to old for me?

what's the big deal about that? I've only have one b/f within my age group. I've always had boyfriends 10+ yrs older. Men are men at any age. Simple as that.

 

[smasherette]

I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 36. I've never dated anyone substantially older than me before, and I always thought it would be strange...but this is the best relationship I've ever been in, and after the first few months, I've all but forgotten that there's a difference in age.

 

[PapillionRouge]

Great thread!

My current love interest in 10 years older than me EXACTLY Right down to the date! ( we have the same birthday)
I"m an "old soul" anyway, I love it, and I love him! We get along so well and have so many things in common its unbelievable!

 

[bbdgirl]

I dated a man 17 yrs older than me when I was 25 and really I never thought that he was too old for me. I used to kinda wish that I was older so that we could have had more to share. But I never really thought that age was our problem. He looked really good for his age like ten years younger than his actual years. He was king and nurturing and encouraging me in my career and any thing else that I wanted to do. I think that he was a little off kilter being so much older than me b/c ofcourse he had a lot of competition and he knew it and I think may have been a little preoccupied by it sometimes.
Age isn't a problem if he is young at heart and you are mature...Best of luck to you.

 

[bbdgirl]

I meant kind and nurturing...lol

 

[femalegold]

Thanks ladies! He doesn't look his age and he's very sweet. I'll just let things play out and see how it goes!

 

[NYLegalNewbie]

Just go with it.

Don't limit yourself according to age. There are lots of great guys of all ages.

I've dated someone who was 2 years younger than me.

I've dated someone who was the exact same age as me (as in, like, one month apart).

I've dated someone who was 17 years older than me.

All nice gentlemen.

 

[Gryphyn]

I dated a man that was 11 years older than me a few years ago. Yes, he was possessive, but I don't think that had anything to do with his age. A major problem that often surfaced for us was that I like to go out and he liked to chill at home. I guess he felt he was at that age where he was over going out to clubs, parties, etc. He gave me a hard time whenever I was out, he never wanted to do anything, never wanted to go out to eat, etc. The only thing I could get him to do with me was go see movies.

 

[Cincysweetie]

Currently involved with a guy 13 years older than me, the biggest gap yet.

I went into the relationship thinking he would be more settled than the guys my age...he has a good career and his own ish.

The reality is, he doesn't have his ish together as much as I expected. He's got some baggage. At times he acts rather childish and he's not exactly possessive, but he does like to show that he's the older one at times. I can't really explain it, but other than those times I very rarely notice the age gap.

 

[sonce]

I met a man about two weeks ago that is 13 years older than me! Things are ok I'm not really trying to jump into a relationship because I just ended one over a month ago.

I'm wondering has anyone dated men 10 + years older. How did it work out? Was he posessive? Was he more nurturing? Was age constantly a problem for you? Did you often think this man is why to old for me?

I was engaged to a man 18 years older. He spoiled me rotten financially, was very possessive, and nurtured me but in a way that threatened to make me emotionally and financially dependent on him. Age was not really an issue for us. We only thought about it when others brought it up and I think it actually worked for us...so much so that I still have a preference for dating men in the 35-42 age range.

I have since dated several men in 10, 15, 20 (the most was 22) years older than me, and the pleasantness or unpleasantness of the experiences have depended on the level of attraction, our natures and whether they worked together, and our values. Rarely have I felt that age was the root cause of incompatibility between these men and myself. In two cases, I fled like the devil was after me after seeing early signs of the dishonesty and immaturity of the men. In another case, he demanded more of my time than I was willing to give him. In quite a few cases, I just didn't feel the guys were attractive enough for me (I had an ongoing "diversity" experiment in which I dated guys of looks that weren't my "type" just for the sake of being able to say I gave "diversity" a chance, lol.). Only in one case have I even suspected that age was perhaps part of the problem--dude seemed to be in the throes of a mid-life crisis IMO. But then again, he might have just been an emotionally immature douche. I didn't bother psychoanalyzing before tossing him in the garbage.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

I was 17 and he was 27. He lied and said he was 22. It was over a bout 2 weeks after that...

He was really nice, caring, respectful, and somewhat "worshipful" if you will. It's just that I knew my dad would kill me.

 

[chichibean]

I had a serious boyfriend who was 12 years older than me when I was 25. He didn't look it so I didn't know how old he was when we first met. But he was fantastic! He was very established, from a career and lifestyle perspective. Although I didn't expect it, he paid for all our dates and offered to take me away on trips. Most importantly though, he was smart, we had a lot in common, and he was a real gentleman. The only reason we broke up was because he was very ready for marriage and children and I just was not there yet.

But I say go for it... don't limit yourself... amazing people come in all shapes, sizes and ages!

 

[Connie]

Men are men at any age. Simple as that.

Okay then, when you and the rest of the ladies in this thread see a post about a 50-year-old woman marrying a 30-year-old man, just remember you said this...LOL!

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

 

[Chanel's Tresses]

I just started dating a guy that is almost exactly 10 years older than me. This is a first for me and so far it has been very refreshing. It has only been about a month so far but we have spent a lot of time together. He is different from any of the men I have ever dated and right now in a good way. Anyone got any tips???

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

I dated a guy that was 14 year older than me and it was a wonderful experience. He was extremely attentive and thoughtful, a great friend, a wonderful listener, and wasn't possessive or controlling at all. I actually miss him a lot

In the end though, the age difference really bothered me because I felt that I could scale up to his level (political dinners, receptions, etc.) and be able to hold my own but that he couldnt do the same as far as being able to just kick-it and fit-in with my friends...so I felt I would be sacrificing my twenties to be with him....plus he was also divorced and had a child and so that was just too much for me.

The experience itself was great...and dating younger guys now...I can tell the difference in maturity, approach, and outlook....older men definitely have their advantages.

 

[LaShanne]

I have a friend who's dating a guy 13 yrs older (she's 35, he's 48). He treats her very well in every way. Eventhough she continues to see him, she has a problem with it. She keeps making comments like...he wears old man underwear. He takes a lot of pills. He doesnt like to go out much and his gray hair emphasizes the age difference. She worries what others think when they go out together. Also, she makes comments like she wants her and her future husband to grow old "together". I think she's afraid she may have to "take care of him". She says she's just being honest about how she feels, but I think her "pampered" treatment has alot to do with why she wont break it off. Not cool

 

[bLackButtaFly]

My SO was 12 years older then me, adn b4 him I briefly dated a man 20 years older then me. Being with my ex was a good experience, but he could never get over our age difference, so it didn't work out.

 

[ThickHair]

My SO is 23 years older than me, I am 36 and he is 59. I was very hesitant in the beginning but we have been dating since July and we have had maybe one or two bumps in the road but other than that it is great.

I am divorced with no children, he has never been married and has an adult daughter with 3 granddaughters. I like that he is established in his career and he has a life. We really enhance each other.

He is very supportive of me getting my graduate degree and I love that. My ex husband really didn't care about anything except Playstation and sex.

 

[LaShanne]

My SO is 23 years older than me, I am 36 and he is 59. I was very hesitant in the beginning but we have been dating since July and we have had maybe one or two bumps in the road but other than that it is great.

I am divorced with no children, he has never been married and has an adult daughter with 3 granddaughters. I like that he is established in his career and he has a life. We really enhance each other.

He is very supportive of me getting my graduate degree and I love that. My ex husband really didn't care about anything except Playstation and sex.

Whoa! That's a big difference! May I ask you a question? How did you meet? Have you had any issues in your relationship related to the age difference? Do you see yourself maybe marrying him one day?

ETA: ok, that was more than one question, sorry.