damaged hair. (long)...

princess me · Jan 6, 2008

so i really like weave because taking care of my own hair was always just too much to deal with and my hair isnt even close to long! just the naps, the kitchen, the tangles, dryness... etc. and to make it worse, my mother doesnt know how to do hair so i've been in and out of hairdressers for at LEAST the past 8 to 9 years and no they didnt know what they were doing.

so, now that i found this site 2 months ago. i was so excited! maybe my hair could grow past my naps... oh what a struggle its been already. i just want to say that i've been wearing weaves since sept straight til last week or so and i havent gotten a perm since sept 5/6th??? now my hair is really damaged as usual and i dont know where to begin.

so i do know that my hair is dry and needs moisture so i DC with some conditioner i have here. maybe i use mizani moisturefuse or the pantene mask... i use something. and my hair doesnt seem to liek protein, so i just try to work it in by way of a pre-poo with like v05 or something like that. but my hair is still dry and unmanageable. im just happy i dont go back to school until the 28th or else i dont know what i would do. im leaning towards getting another weave cuz my hair condition is embarrassing esp living in NY.

anyway, i digress... my question to you ladies is... ever since i could remember i could never grow hair in the back of my head.

so i created a fotki so you all could see what im talking about and maybe give me some advice as to what i can do to grow some hair at my nape.

its greatly appreciated. thanks in advance.

this is the link....: http://public.fotki.com/ANGELICI0US/

my pword is in my profile... i cant let the world see this...

Je Ne Sais Quoi · Jan 6, 2008

Hi

It seems to me that you are using the weave as an end all for styles but not taking care of the hair underneath the weave. I think you need to leave the weaves alone and let your hair breathe :yep:

How often are you washing your hair and how often do you deep condition?

FlawedBeauty · Jan 6, 2008

I agree with Bre. You should really try to stop with the weaves for a while and baby that nape.

*Bre~Bre* said:
Hi

It seems to me that you are using the weave as an end all for styles but not taking care of the hair underneath the weave. I think you need to leave the weaves alone and let your hair breathe How often are you washing your hair and how often do you deep condition?

princess me · Jan 6, 2008

well now i've been washing my hair twice a week. but when i had the weave in, it was probably like every 2-1/2 to 3 weeks if i was lazy. and i deep condition my hair whenever i wash it. i always had this steam cap thing i use. im curious to know if my hair would ever grow... if not, i dont really have a problem wearing weaves.

i get what u ladies are saying though about stopping the weaves but i dont think its the weaves cuz my hair has been this way for like 5 yrs now and ive been wearin weaves for like 2 yrs.... yeah, it wasnt as bad as it is now, but my nape wasnt normal either

hairmaster · Jan 6, 2008

You get a relaxer and deep condition, flat iron with a ceramic iron you don't need no weave. The only reason you have the spot I believe is from the weave, (GLUE) and :nono:

no care being given to the nape, you still have to comb through the hair , shampoo and condition. Your hair.
You have a good thick head of hair take time to give it some care... :grin:

princess me · Jan 6, 2008

hairmaster said:
You get a relaxer and deep condition, flat iron with a ceramic iron you don't need no weave. The only reason you have the spot I believe is from the weave, (GLUE) and no care being given to the nape, you still have to comb through the hair , shampoo and condition. Your hair.
You have a good thick head of hair take time to give it some care...

i agree with what u have said, but really and truly, my hair is very thin i wish i had some pictures...i think its been from maybe my last stylist who used to run the perm thru my hair every time she permed it (which was like every 5 weeks when i wasnt wearing weaves) to make me get that and i quote: "straight, coolie (which is a term for like jamaican indians) hair"... it never worked.

and i wish this was because i used glue or something so at least i could have a reason, but i didnt use any glue in my hair, i always had sew-ins... oh boy... and since ive always been so worried about my nape i try to moisturize it everyday but its just so non-growable. oh well... :ohwell:

thanks...

FlutterGirl · Jan 6, 2008

I had the same thing happening to my nape for years and going natural solved my problem. :grin:

If you decide to relax again, I strongly suggest you NOT to relax the nape for a while (months to a year).
Good luck !

Je Ne Sais Quoi · Jan 6, 2008

princess me said:
i agree with what u have said, but really and truly, my hair is very thin i wish i had some pictures...i think its been from maybe my last stylist who used to run the perm thru my hair every time she permed it (which was like every 5 weeks when i wasnt wearing weaves) to make me get that and i quote: "straight, coolie (which is a term for like jamaican indians) hair"... it never worked.

and i wish this was because i used glue or something so at least i could have a reason, but i didnt use any glue in my hair, i always had sew-ins... oh boy... and since ive always been so worried about my nape i try to moisturize it everyday but its just so non-growable. oh well...

thanks...

Yes that is a huge nono and the reason why your hair has thinned out. You need to give your scalp and hair time to recoup from all the damage that has been done. Stop washing your hair 2 x a week. Go down to 1 x a week (if that) and see if you are able to incorporate cowashing into your routine 2-3 days a week. This will help give your hair some moisture. After cowashing I would just slick the hair into a low bun (and NOT one that is pulling or tight). Make sure you are using your leave ins and try sealing with oil everytime you cowash for starters.

Also, keep dc'ing, it will help :yep:

The biggest thing i can recommend for the next couple of months is to leave the weave alone and if you perm, perm your edges and nape LAST.

FlawedBeauty · Jan 6, 2008

i'm not saying its the weaves that is causing your nape problem. just saying it would be much easier to take care of it and help it thrive if you weren't wearing them. if it's been that way for 5 years now then you weren't taking care of it properly back then either. your hair can grow but you are going to have to work really hard at it and slappin weaves over it is not going to be much help.

i would also cut out the relaxing very often and try to stretch them if you are still relaxing. if you are relaxed and you absoloutely have to have one i would be sure that that nape area doesnt get touched for a very looooonnnggg time.

princess me said:
well now i've been washing my hair twice a week. but when i had the weave in, it was probably like every 2-1/2 to 3 weeks if i was lazy. and i deep condition my hair whenever i wash it. i always had this steam cap thing i use. im curious to know if my hair would ever grow... if not, i dont really have a problem wearing weaves.

i get what u ladies are saying though about stopping the weaves but i dont think its the weaves cuz my hair has been this way for like 5 yrs now and ive been wearin weaves for like 2 yrs.... yeah, it wasnt as bad as it is now, but my nape wasnt normal either

locabouthair · Jan 6, 2008

*Bre~Bre* said:
Yes that is a huge nono and the reason why your hair has thinned out. You need to give your scalp and hair time to recoup from all the damage that has been done. Stop washing your hair 2 x a week. Go down to 1 x a week (if that) and see if you are able to incorporate cowashing into your routine 2-3 days a week. This will help give your hair some moisture. After cowashing I would just slick the hair into a low bun (and NOT one that is pulling or tight). Make sure you are using your leave ins and try sealing with oil everytime you cowash for starters.

Also, keep dc'ing, it will help

The biggest thing i can recommend for the next couple of months is to leave the weave alone and if you perm, perm your edges and nape LAST.

I agree with the bolded. When I saw your pics, I thought it might have been due to overprocessing because that's what happened to me. I know it's hard girl, I've been there and still going through it.

For the nape area, have you tried massaging it?

Get some essential oils and dilute them with a carrier oil (eg. olive oil) and massage the nape once or twice a day.

those oils and massaging are known for stiumlating the circulation to the scalp.

read this article about scalp massages.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/312616/mastering_the_perfect_scalp_massage.html

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/312494/try_essential_oils_for_improving_scalp.html

eat a balanced diet and drink lots of water to get encourage optimal growth.

princess me · Jan 6, 2008

yes. i will relax the nape last. hopefully that works... :ohwell:

im pretty sure that going natural would help fluttergirl but, i like the versatilty that comes along with relaxed hair. it seems nice, but i wouldnt know what to do with my hair.

thanks for the advice.

princess me · Jan 6, 2008

locabouthair said:
I agree with the bolded. When I saw your pics, I thought it might have been due to overprocessing because that's what happened to me. I know it's hard girl, I've been there and still going through it.

For the nape area, have you tried massaging it?

Get some essential oils and dilute them with a carrier oil (eg. olive oil) and massage the nape once or twice a day.

those oils and massaging are known for stiumlating the circulation to the scalp.

read this article about scalp massages.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/312616/mastering_the_perfect_scalp_massage.html

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/312494/try_essential_oils_for_improving_scalp.html

eat a balanced diet and drink lots of water to get encourage optimal growth.

thanks for the links.
yes. ive been massaging my nnape areas recently. i see ur in NY also, i dont know if you know about the megacare oils i see them everywhere in the tubes for like 1.49... i have the vitamin e one. i try to use that. or since my family is jamaican, i use some castor oil. but i dont know the difference between carrier and essential so i couldnt tell u much in that respect. but whenever i remember which is usually every night and morning, i just rub some into my scalp.

but my sister said that its too greasy and im putting too much... but no matter how much i put, when i wake up each morning, i have to thank God for my life because I coulda started a fire over night with the friction from my dry hair. i guess its just one step at a time...

i will be getting a relaxer this week. (cuz i obviously need one...)

locabout hair, if ur in the city where do you go to get a perm? because im scared to go to my regular hairdresser since i know what shes gonna do...

locabouthair · Jan 6, 2008

princess me said:
thanks for the links.
yes. ive been massaging my nnape areas recently. i see ur in NY also, i dont know if you know about the megacare oils i see them everywhere in the tubes for like 1.49... i have the vitamin e one. i try to use that. or since my family is jamaican, i use some castor oil. but i dont know the difference between carrier and essential so i couldnt tell u much in that respect. but whenever i remember which is usually every night and morning, i just rub some into my scalp.

but my sister said that its too greasy and im putting too much... but no matter how much i put, when i wake up each morning, i have to thank God for my life because I coulda started a fire over night with the friction from my dry hair. i guess its just one step at a time...

i will be getting a relaxer this week. (cuz i obviously need one...)

locabout hair, if ur in the city where do you go to get a perm? because im scared to go to my regular hairdresser since i know what shes gonna do...

are oils like olive, castor, almond oil

essentials oils are oils that are known for stimulating and tingle the scalp such as peppermint, lavendar, rosemary, thyme. i really like the peppermint oil.

essential oils MUST be diluted with a carrier oil, they are too strong to be put on the scalp alone because they can irritate the scalp.

As far as salons, girl i am in the same boat as you. I went to the dominicans and they would put the relaxer way past the new growth and my hair thinned out. so now i am trying to relax my hair myself. i've been burned by stylists too many times. i wish I could suggest a good stylist for you to go to because i was desperately trying to find one myself.

what are you using to moisturize?

oils and grease do not moisturize the hair. all it will do is coat your hair.

Make sure you use a water based moisturizer and seal in the moisturizer with an oil. castor oil is good. make you moisturize and seal your hair at leats once a day but preferably twice since your nape is damaged. you want to make sure you keep the nape moist to prevent it from breaking off even more. moisture=length retention.

princess me · Jan 6, 2008

i guess i really use anything to moisterize. I thought castor oil could moisturize...

so whats an example of a water based moisturizer?

oh boy, i thought u had a hairdresser girl! maybe i can just do it myself.

remnant · Jan 6, 2008

What is your regimen?
Here are some links for you to start a healthy hair journey it wil take patience consistency, commitment and motivation (that what LHCF is for) to reach your goal!

Here are the basis steps for most of relaxed hair:

Stretched relaxer
Do protective style
moisturise your hair daily
seal moisture with oils
Conditionner washing
Deep conditionning your hair twice a week
Clarifying your hair once in awhile (like once or twice a month)
Shampoo with moistrising poo
Don't use heat frequently

princess me · Jan 6, 2008

thank you for the advice soun. I enjoyed reading the information in those links.

I dont really think I have a regime per se... But I do have some products I use regularly but not always together in a specific way since everytime I wash my hair, it ends the same way... Tangled and hard... Anyway, my products are:

jason biotin shampoo
pantene intensive shampoo
v05 volumizing shampoo
nexxuss aloe rid
mizani botanifying shampoo

intensive mask
jasons biotin conditioner
mizani moisturefuse
v05 moisturizing/ conditioner
suave humectant condtioner
garnier fortifying conditioner

ors replenishing pack
organics leave in mayonnaise
garnier fructis leave in sleek and smooth (i use this everytime)
sea breeze

organics olive oil grease
castor oil
vitamin e oil

lboogie2679 · Jan 6, 2008

First things first, I would start with a short cut to get the damaged hair off. Since your hair is already short in the nape I would go with a cute pixie cut. then you can start with more styling options while you get your in shape. Then you can build a good regimen and find what works with your hair. Eventhough we hate to lose length sometimes it is the best thing we can do to get back on the right track.

princess me · Jan 6, 2008

I know I have to get a cut. Im not too scared of getting my hair cut because Im so used to it. I used to go to the hairdresser every 2 weeks religiously and like every 4 weeks I would get a trim/cut. So I'm used to having short hair (im talking ear length here)...

Its just that the amount of times I cut my hair and the back just hasnt grown. Actually now that I think about it, when I was in 8th grade then again in 10th grade, I had gotten a cut where the back was completely cut off and one side was a little longer than the other (not as exaggerated as rihanna though).

Anyway, after the first cut in 8th grade, I had gotten braids and the back grew in but I got a perm and it broke off again so I had it cut again the same way. Ever since then, it hasnt grown in...

SO I said all of that to say this... I am not afraid of cutting my hair if thats whats gonna work, BUT I dont wanna cut it and then I am faced with the same issue...

tkj25 · Jan 6, 2008

it sounds to me like the perm is the culprit for your nape problems. from your pics it looks like a slightly different texture than the rest of your hair, which would account for it being overprocessed & breaking off more easily. (your stylist needs to be slapped for pulling the relaxer through your already processed ends)

you've gotten some great advice & links. i would suggest giving your hair a break with protective styles -- braids (not too tight) or your favorite weave. there is nothing wrong with weave as long as you don't neglect your real hair in the process. you still have to take care of your hair, give it tlc, even in a weave -- moisturize daily, shampoo/no-poo (at minimum weekly) you've done a good job of stretching your relaxer, i just don't want to see you rush into a solution. take your time.

find a good protective style & continue reading, learning, practicing. then in a couple/or several months not only will your nape & hair have grown out some more, you should have a better game plan & healthier hair to start from. this problem wasn't created overnight, and the soulution won't come any quicker, but with time, thought and care, you can get you hair & nape growing and on the healthy track.

hhg

*Luscious*Locked*Doc · Jan 6, 2008

First let me say that the top portion of your hair looks healthy but I think you really need a good trim. If you are determined not to cut your hair at least get a little trim. I would say that you also need to start off by doing some serious research on these boards and get a regimen built here is a link by sistaslick relating to this:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/288340/hair_regimen_building_for_newbies.html
and also one by gymfreak and artemis
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=186237

Frankly I would read all her articles including the one about scalp massages. You shouldn't really be using a lot of oils in your hair to do this. See this link:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/312771/four_keys_to_a_healthy_scalp.html
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/312494/try_essential_oils_for_improving_scalp.html

Also I honestly think you need to stop what you are doing and really reassess the needs of your hair. I wouldn't put another weave in right now or really relax the back at all. I would probably wear the low pony...bunned and loose to hide the broken off area in your nape. I would definitely start moisturizing and sealing everyday and babying that area (nape) in particular. If you can't bear to have it show why not try a lacefront or a fall? I would also try using emu oil - which has been proven to treat allopecia and has provided great results to some members of this board or I might look into bountiful tresses which has also helped some members with allopecia. It's sold by naturallady who is a member of this board.
Right now you need to concentrate on bringing the moisture levels back up in your hair and filling in some of those broken off areas. You have some good products but it sounds like you aren't maximizing their use. Try this link for that purpose:
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=186229

Good luck and don't give up. Most importantly don't be stubborn about change. Obviously what you have been doing isn't working and it's time to try something new. Even if it means that you don't look your best 100% of the time. What is more important healthy hair or looking good while your real hair is being damaged?

Rain20 · Jan 6, 2008

I am new and am struggling myself. But, everyone talks about baggying the ends for moisture at night. Instead of weaves, try half wigs or ponytails and baggy underneath those. Also consider the WEN line. This seems to be very moisturizing. Check out Charmtresse's(sp) fotki. She really started out with very damaged hair and her hair is gorgeous now. Dont be afraid to get rid of your weave. There are other styling options. Also what kind of perm are you using? Maybe it is too strong for your hair. There was a thread about perms and ph so you may want to see where your perm falls on the ph scale.Why keep doing the same thing, if you are not getting results? There are lots of people on the board that can give you advice. Do not give up. HTH

phyl73 · Jan 6, 2008

Mine looks like yours. (Check out my fokti :nono:

) I was wearing a weave, but like you this has been a probelm area for me for years. Since high school. It also falls out when I'm stressed badly. Anyway, I use to wear a satin bonnet and I think the rubber from the bonnet was rubbing against it and further damaging it. I took the weave out and am now going natural. I can see a difference, not huge, but it's growing. Since I've been taking care of it, I notice that this part of my head of hair needs the most moisture. It's sooooo dry back there. I give it lots of attention and hopefully, it will forgive for the years of abuse I've given to it.

Rain20 · Jan 6, 2008

I forgot:
Are you stressed from school or have any other stress? Stress can affect your hair growth. Make you sure take the basic vitamins. There are several threads about this. Dont go overboard or anything but consider a multi or a hair, skin,and nails vitamin with MSM in it, biotin, and Flaxseed oil. Drink water daily. Also, do you have any medical conditions or are you on any medications that may contribute to the health of your hair? Just trying to help. Keep checking in.

hairmaster · Jan 6, 2008

Get rid of the VO-5 and the Pantene, the rest of your products look good now take the time to use them at lease once a week. get a Mazani Butter Blend Relaxer from a stylist to start you off on the road to healthy hair.

damaged hair. (long)...

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