Cutting off people!

**SaSSy**

**SaSSy**

3rd Big Chop on 7/18/2016
Has anyone ever experience cutting off more than 5 people in their lives in one year?
Whether romantic or pure friendships?
And how did it make you feel? Did you regret it? Or felt better and moved on either to better people or being better off along?
 
I actually have a hard time cutting people out intentionally. And instead it's usually God that just magically moves them out. :look: Seriously.

These days I just trust my gut and move subtlely. So, if I feel that something is off by somebody, I just let that motivate my actions. And instead of trying to figure out what's "wrong with them", I just step back and decrease contact.
 
I call this "cleaning house"

I make it a point every year to cut off any one in my life (friends, family, boyfriends) if I feel they are not adding to my life. Most ppl I've met take and take whether it be my time or money and never can give in return.

I admit at first it is lonely and I feel bad about it. But the I realize I'm making room to receieve my blessings and if I keep God first then I will never be lonely and he will make a way out of no way.

Just hold your ground and keep the faith and know we are never alone.
And God does help with the "moving" process.
I agree with the above statement don't try to figure ppl out if they seem off or you get a bad vibe just walk away!!!
 
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I've cut off a few. I think you have to cut out the garbage to make way for new positive relationships.
 
I havent cut out 5 in one year, but I have cut people out (some even family, sadly), because they were not giving what I was giving them. Sometimes, they sincerely learn the errors of their ways, and come back to make amends, at which point Im not really checking for them anymore :nono:
 
I cut a few, but not 5 in one year. With me, I felt really great afterwards. Less drama, less unhappiness, less trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with them. I could breath for once.:grin:

Then I felt a little sad when I thought about the good times.

Then I overheard all the problems their new 'friends' were having. They would ask me how the heck I dealth with them for that long. Then I remembered the reason I cut it off and now I breath easy.:yawn:
 
I have. Some were not intentional, but in hindsight were for the best. Others were intentional. I have felt a thousand time better. I did get curious and call some, but it was only one phone call and that was that. I got that heavy feeling when I was talking to them, so I knew I made the right decision.
 
Not five- but one that really hurt, didn't want to initially, but he was getting on my last nerve, and we weren't even together anymore, lol! Hindsight is only because i had affections for him previously he was allowed to get as far as he did, as far as continously getting on my nerves. I miss' em but he had to go lol.
 
Sassyb4Classy said:
Has anyone ever experience cutting off more than 5 people in their lives in one year?
Whether romantic or pure friendships?
And how did it make you feel? Did you regret it? Or felt better and moved on either to better people or being better off along?
Click to expand...

ME ME ME!!! :grin: Girl, last year, I had to cut off several people, at one time. Some of them were in my lives for more than 15 years, others just came recently. THey all had one thing in common, they were toxic. :nono:
I prayed and fasted and God took them out of my life using certain circumstances. I am FINALLY freed from them, thank goodness. :yep:
Now I try to surround myself with positive people that want good for me.
 
I have. At first I did regret it and I felt lonely and that I had no other friends but, I got over that real quick and in the end realized that there was a reason for me cutting them off and it was a good move.
 
It's not easy for me to cut people off completely unless they're really done something terrible and even then I'm pretty forgiving if they're genuinely contrite. Last year I had to let go of family and phony friends and they earned it alright. Sometimes I miss them but when I think of what they did, they're not worth it.:nono:
 
I know it's hard to cut people off, but last year the first time in my life I cut off more people than I ever had! More then 5, but less than 10. And the worst part was people that I knew since I was a child. The hardest was a guy that I throught I couldn't live without, and other drama issue people that if I kept them in my life I would be kicking myself later on about how stupid i was to keep them in my life. Now I'm at peace with less people in my life.

It's still hard ever now and then, but it's much easier everyday.
 
Oh I have its easy for me because either that person is really getting the point where they are detrimental to my health and my life so i will cut them off.

I cut off my old best friend twice and the last time was back in July 2006, she hadnt made any changes in her life for the better and wasnt growing up and being wise about decisions that she would make. And her activites were effecting me. I had known her since we were elementary age. I cant say her and I will never be friends again, but she just has some growing to do. And at this time in my life i dont need anyone that is like her. I have too much going on(school, work and personal) to be concentrating on her not having a man and always worrying about having a boyfriend instead of improving herself and taking care of her kids and home.

I dont think that people should do more harm than they should good. I have cut off 5 in a year, whatever it takes to make me feel better about myself and to keep moving toward my goals.

Most of the people that I do cut off their are good reasons behind it. I cant stand men that hate on women and i cant stand negativity. I try to think positive and be around positive goal oriented people.

Gaining friends should not weigh you down it should uplift u or doesnt cause a burden to you this is basically how i look at it. Also by cutting people off this makes room for better and healthier relationships with other people. And hopefully learning from the last person.
 
I've never kept a head count, but I'm in a huge phase of expansion in my life and the nay sayers/negative people are naturally just falling off.

It funny how people you thought were 'friends' will disappear when you stop 'playing' by their rules. No even a phone call.......no need for a big explainantion......most will "leave" you once they realize that you are not at their disposal anymore.
 
Last year, I let go of more than five persons, including my best friend and some family members. It wasn't easy, I was afraid and frightened for wanting to move on, but I knew I was making the right decisions. Relief was the main only emotion I felt once I did. I felt lighter and happier each and every time.

I'm a forwarding moving person, I'm always looking to build and expand myself in positive ways. I've made many mistakes in life, including building relationships with people during my down cycles only to struggle with them once I start dusting myself off and moving into the positive. My experiences last year taught me that I have to be very careful how, when, and on what issues I form bonds with others. This is absolutely crucial. Now I watch myself and see what I have in common with others and what we talk about the most. If it isn't positive, I distant myself from them and then work on the issue in myself.

It is lonelier, absolutely. But I am happier on a day-to-day basis. I don't feel that nagging sense that I'm disappointing someone because I don't believe in or support their beliefs or issues anymore. I can breathe easier now. The loneliest is only temporary, I've made space for more like-minded and positive people to come into my life. I'm looking forward to meeting them.

Note: I don't view the people who I've let go of as bad people. They aren't. They wouldn't have been my friends/comrades otherwise. With some I didn't say anything, the "moving on" just naturally occured, but with others I had to say/do something.
 
MJ said:
Last year, I let go of more than five persons, including my best friend and some family members. It wasn't easy, I was afraid and frightened for wanting to move on, but I knew I was making the right decisions. Relief was the main only emotion I felt once I did. I felt lighter and happier each and every time.

I'm a forwarding moving person, I'm always looking to build and expand myself in positive ways. I've made many mistakes in life, including building relationships with people during my down cycles only to struggle with them once I start dusting myself off and moving into the positive. My experiences last year taught me that I have to be very careful how, when, and on what issues I form bonds with others. This is absolutely crucial. Now I watch myself and see what I have in common with others and what we talk about the most. If it isn't positive, I distant myself from them and then work on the issue in myself.

It is lonelier, absolutely. But I am happier on a day-to-day basis. I don't feel that nagging sense that I'm disappointing someone because I don't believe in or support their beliefs or issues anymore. I can breathe easier now. The loneliest is only temporary, I've made space for more like-minded and positive people to come into my life. I'm looking forward to meeting them.

Note: I don't view the people who I've let go of as bad people. They aren't. They wouldn't have been my friends/comrades otherwise. With some I didn't say anything, the "moving on" just naturally occured, but with others I had to say/do something.
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Hey MJ,

ITA, I've observed that some people will be drawn to you because of your energy/light (they recognize something in you that they need/want to develop in themselves) but then get resentful/jealous/spiteful because of it.

I used to stay in these relationships to serve as a 'good' example (my ego :spinning:) for the other person, but I realized that this is just too draining.

I believe that Napoleon Hill (think and grow rich) stated that you will have/be the average of your five closest friends - if all of your friends are on a downward slope you will not bring them up, they will pull you down to their level. :yep:
 
I went through a massive cleaning at the start of '08...I said I wasn't carrying the drama from '07 into a fresh, new year.

I am also notorious for up and changing my number...and not giving it to some people.
 
Cincysweetie said:
I went through a massive cleaning at the start of '08...I said I wasn't carrying the drama from '07 into a fresh, new year.

I am also notorious for up and changing my number...and not giving it to some people.
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lol I ALWAYS do that

my good friend always jokes that i am a spy

when i cut ppl of i change my # and email and sometimes move
 
HAHAHA girl I do that all the time! Everytime I feel too many "losers" have it, it's time to change it to clean house.

I'm notorious for changing screen names, and e-mail addresses too!
 
Well, I've never cut 5 people off in one year, but I have cut people off (friends, bf) for bringing negativity into my life. Some I just stopped calling or e-mailing, and taking their calls. Others I had to tell them. It is hard for me to actually tell people, but when I think of all the negativity and unhappiness they have brought into my life, it just makes it easier. I know that once the negativity is cleared out, you make space for the positives to come in.
 
I will cut people off in a heartbeat. I don't do drama, negativity, or messing with people I don't like. I'll cut off a grocery store if I feel like it. People that know me, know I'm like that.

I just don't have time for it. Even though family always stays in your life, I've learned to slide away from them too. My mom says they're scared to say anything to me. I already know their toxic so I stay away from them or when I see them I keep it short and wait to leave. I'm working on my mom about this. She has been beaten down by toxic friends and family. I refuse to live my life like this and will not let them do it to her either.

I believe in telling a person point blank, " I don't like you, I need you to stay away from me. or "You're too much so I have to cut you off. "
 
:yep:I did it and it's the best thing I ever did! My life changed soooooooo much. The people seem to have been dead weight that caused me to not to flourish in many ways. Never again will I fall in friendship loyalty traps:nono: People can be toxic!
 
Yes, I have... Most were guys I dated for a short time and realized that it wasn't going to work out. I'm pretty good at cutting people off. And yes, sometimes when the loneliness hits, you wonder if you did the right thing, but it usually was for the best. :yep:
 
I had a girl friend that I had been friends with for years but she was a user. She would constantly want or expect me to pay her way at the club or buy her food to eat, or drinks, I'm like "I'm not your man, I'm a college student just like you and only have enough money for ME to live off of." DO NOT EXPECT me to take care of another grown individual. (sorry for the long post)!

THen she was negative bout things that I wanted to do w/ myself and would bash my bf(well ex now). Then I break up with bf she constantly became an informant about my ex? Telling me things about him like I cared. It would hurt me to hear her say things like, "He was messing with so-and-so while he was with you, anyway" What kind of friend is that? She knows my bf was cheating on me and didnt tell me? Gots to go! She has been calling but I dont respond.

She would call only if she was upset about her relationship! It drained me to have to listen and build her up while I would be left drained.
All of this just happened recently I thought I was being disloyal but now I'm feeling relieved!
 
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