Could you date someone who's PARENTS have completely opposite morals from yours?

vivEz daNs lamouR

vivEz daNs lamouR

Well-Known Member
What if your potential SO's mother was a serial mistress?

Or his father was a known sex offender?

I know that we say that parents have absolutely nothing to do with the relationship or the boyfriend/fiancee/husband, but how far does that statement ring true?

Have you ever dated someone who's parents' morals were just so opposite of yours?

Let's discuss, I'm REALLY eager to hear some opinions!!
 
If I found out, I couldn't do it...it would end the relationship. I would be on edge wondering when he's going to morph into them. Also, I believe the key to a successful relationship is a common value system.

Although DH and I had the same value system, if I had met his parents before our marriage...I wouldn't have shown up at the courthouse. They were two absolutely miserable people...full of negativity and no hope!
 
I could because I'm dating their child, not the parents. Some people are brought up in atmospheres that they do not wanna reciprocate in their actual lives. He might be totally different from his parents. I would keep my eyes open though lol. But, I wouldn't have a problem dating.
 
My DH's family have very little morals. His grandmother had a long term relationship with a man and then years later started dating his brother, now she's dating the cousin. His mother and grandmother dated the same man. His mother stayed married to a man who not only cheated on her and had two children outside of the marriage, and has made advances towards me and his own brother's wife, not to mention countless others. Icould write a book about how disgusting these people are.
 
Possibly.

It would depend on HIS morals and how well he was able to set and honor boundaries. If his parents are immoral but he maintains distance and understands my desire to keep my children away from them then it's possible.

I generally subscribe to the idea that people are products of their environments, but there are exceptions and some adults choose to be, do, and have better, regardless of where they came from.

It would not automatically DQ him, but it would certainly give me pause, and he would need to show and prove that he can effectively navigate our dealings with them before we got married.
 
I married him. Just because it is their environment, doesn't mean that they take them on.

His father hit his mom which resulted in divorce. His mom dated on and off, had 'sleepovers', then lived with her FI. His sister shacked with her BF. When I brought up the idea of us living together, he went off on me and refused. He said that it wasn't in his 'morals'. I was shocked. How could he not want to do something everyone else was doing? They were all raised by his grandparents.

My father has been living with another woman for the last 14 years, he's been married to my mom the whole time. All my life, I've known him to always 'flirt' with other women. Now that the divorce preceedings have started, my mom is pulling out all of her 'notes' of all of them throughout the years. My paternal grandmother has a rep as a 'ho'. She was even caught by my grandfather with his friend.
^ That was my environment and I rebuke that 'spirit'. I even loathe homewreckers.
 
it could be these very things/morals that are lacking in his family that will make him not only stand out but stand up to be a better man in spite of his family. He is not his family.
 
bimbabe said:
I would date them. But monitor them to ensure that they do not share the same traits.
Click to expand...

Ditto. :yep: They may be the total opposite due to seeing the consequences of their parents/guardians actions. However, some may have seeped into the subconscious, so I'd be real careful in that type of relationship.
 
Having been through what I have been through I would tell my younger self DON'T DO IT. Even though that person may not be doing those things, they are not their parents, etc....it DOES have an impact on your relationship. But I come from a defunctional family to, so......

I'm teaching my kids to marry people like us. Marrying into familes that are so different from the families you were raised in is just asking for problems and why put yourself through that.
 
I think my SO would be the one that comes from a family with morals according to most people. I'd hope he wouldn't judge me and not want to be with me based on things that people I had no choice in bringing into my life do.

I didn't choose my parents, nor any of my other family. If he noticed that all of my friends were amoral then yeah he'd have a valid point.
 
My own parents morals are completely opposite of mine! His parents morals and lifestyle have nothing to do with him.
 
Hmm... thats a tough one. I would say no, but their are plenty of good people who come from destructive and plain ole' weird households. But in the same respect your upbringing truly molds you into the person you are so i would have to keep my eyes open especially if I really like the guy and see that he is a good person.
 
It really depends on the person's character and their views towards their parent's actions. While it is possible for them to become like their parents, I think they can overcome that if they are personally working toward it.

I have dated someone who's parents made poor relationship-decisions and he was determined not to be like them. Unfortunately by his own admission he made the same mistakes his Dad made with me. But that doesn't make me want to avoid all men whose families have differing morals.
 
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