Confused, Hurt, Disappointed, Need Help!

D

diamondlady

Active Member
November 21, 2015, I got a sew in. I've doing sew-ins for years. The last stylist I was with was not very good so I didn't keep the sew-in very long. It was start coming out after 4 weeks.

I decided to take the sew-in out right after Christmas and my hair is a mess. Broken, thin, damaged and I don't what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't want to put in another sew-in. I'm afraid. I want to relax (last relaxed 2008), condition and wear my own hair but it's so thin and damaged, I just don't know!!! My natural hair doesn't stay pressed more than three days, natural styles are not an option for me. Reasons - I don't want to get into but there are many reasons why natural styles are not an option.

This is what my hair looked like on November 21, 2015. You would not believe it was the same person if I put up a pic of how it looks now, less than 2 month later. I'm so ashamed of the way my hair looks now, I've been wearing a wig. I HATE wigs.

Nov 21 2015.3jpg.jpg
 
So sorry this happened to you. Sending you hugs, love and support!

What have you been doing since taking the sew in down? I would suggest for the next 3 months to go back to the basics. Wash and deep condition weekly with products that have a nice balance of moisture and protein. Braid it up under your wig and spritz daily for moisture. Re-assess then.

If 3 months is too long to wait (as I see you hate wearing wigs), at least give it time to bounce back or get to a state where you feel it is healthy and strong enough to handle the relaxing process. Good luck Sis!
 
Sorry this happened to you. Do you think the damage was caused during the braiding process or take down? I wouldn't suggest getting a relaxer if your hair is damaged. I would let it rest for a couple of weeks and do braids if that's an option or crochet braids.
 
I'm sorry this happened to you but the last time I wore weaves, I wore them for 2 years and they damaged my hair irreparably and I had to cut it all off and start all over again . I will never do that again. Wigs are my new bffs. I can take them off nightly and make sure I get my weekly deep conditioning in on a regular basis. I know that weaves are NOT for me.
 
Black Ambrosia said:
Please forgive my ignorance but how could a sew-in cause so much damage? Your hair was braided down, right? Or am I confusing my braid/weave styles?
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I don't know what happened. Yes my hair was braided and I discovered some spots where my stylist had cut my hair the last time he took it out. Usually I take it out but just once I let him do it. I have been doing sew-ins for years and retained many, many inches that way. I thought my hair would never grow beyond shoulder length and it was mid-back and there were a few stands that got to waist but I would trim them because the end looked terrible. Each time I took down my sew-in, I would be surprised and pleased at the additional inches. I don't know what happened. I just know my hair is a mess.
 
lulu97 said:
So sorry this happened to you. Sending you hugs, love and support!

What have you been doing since taking the sew in down? I would suggest for the next 3 months to go back to the basics. Wash and deep condition weekly with products that have a nice balance of moisture and protein. Braid it up under your wig and spritz daily for moisture. Re-assess then.

If 3 months is too long to wait (as I see you hate wearing wigs), at least give it time to bounce back or get to a state where you feel it is healthy and strong enough to handle the relaxing process. Good luck Sis!
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I did an aphogee protein treatment as soon as I took down the sew-in. I have been doing wash, & deep conditions weekly. I braided under the wig but I hate the wig. It is uncomfortable, feels like it's going to fall off, and it's itchy. I tried several wigs and I'm just not a wig person.
 
What was your regimen under the sew-in? What is your usual protective styling regimen? Do you deep condition and moisturize/seal under your sew ins?
Another possibility is that this particular sew in created mid-shaft splits- the sewing needle doesn't always damage hair, but the reason why I stopped relying on sew-ins as a protective style was the fact that it only takes one bad placement of the hair needle for it to slice right through multiple hairs at once, let alone if the thread itself was abrasive and was also cutting through your hair. This also depends somewhat on the health of one's hair at the time. A person's hair might not be damaged by something that would destroy their hair at a different point in time.

Either way, I'm so sorry about your setback @diamondlady you'll bounce back, I know it! :flowers: :theteam:
 
alex114 said:
Another possibility is that this particular sew in created mid-shaft splits- the sewing needle doesn't always damage hair, but the reason why I stopped relying on sew-ins as a protective style was the fact that it only takes one bad placement of the hair needle for it to slice right through multiple hairs at once, let alone if the thread itself was abrasive and was also cutting through your hair. This also depends somewhat on the health of one's hair at the time.

Either way, I'm so sorry about your setback @diamondlady you'll bounce back, I know it! :flowers: :theteam:
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This is news to me!!! I had no idea about mid-shaft splits or abrasive threads. I have done sew-ins for years with great results. I knew my stylist wasn't very good but he was cheap, quick and always available. I'm so confused and sad right now. I have re-evaluated my diet, vitamins, along with everything I have been doing including products but your could be very right. It makes a lot of logical sense to me.
 
Technique is so important when it comes to sew-ins, so I think it was probably a bad install that caused your setback. Since it was mechanical damage that most likely damaged your hair, don't put any heat or do any chemical services for a while. Just put it in cornrows or something and wig it. That would be my advice. I would also say that you should start using JBCO or something to thicken up your hair under your wigs, since I know your thickness is very important to you.

Also, aliexpress has some nice human hair wigs. It's a bit of an investment but they last forever (I wore one of them almost every day for 6 months while studying abroad and I was still getting compliments on it that summer) plus they are much more natural and comfortable than BSS human or synthetic wigs.
 
pre_medicalrulz said:
Sew-ins can def cause damage if not properly installed. Especially tight sew-ins.
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I knew that tight sew-ins or braids could cause damage. I never let anyone pull my hair tight. I told one stylist if she pulled my hair too tight, I would leave and not give her a dime. But I didn't know about mid-shaft damage and that may be what happened to me.
 
alex114 said:
Technique is so important when it comes to sew-ins, so I think it was probably a bad install that caused your setback. Since it was mechanical damage that most likely damaged your hair, don't put any heat or do any chemical services for a while. Just put it in cornrows or something and wig it. That would be my advice. I would also say that you should start using JBCO or something to thicken up your hair under your wigs, since I know your thickness is very important to you.

Also, aliexpress has some nice human hair wigs. It's a bit of an investment but they last forever (I wore one of them almost every day for 6 months while studying abroad and I was still getting compliments on it that summer) plus they are much more natural and comfortable than BSS human or synthetic wigs.
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Yo pass that link from where you got your wig from
 
((BIG HUG))
ITA with the ladies. It's best to put it away and baby it. Wigs are so versatile these days that you can find one that feels more natural to you. Also, I rock a mens satin skull cap under my wigs. It helps protect my strands and I don't get the itchy scalp. The benefit of the wigs is that you can treat your hair underneath and you have access to assess your progress.

You can also try a crochet braid set or braid extensions. I hope you find a PS that'll work for you! GL! :)
 
Aggie said:
I'm sorry this happened to you but the last time I wore weaves, I wore them for 2 years and they damaged my hair irreparably and I had to cut it all off and start all over again . I will never do that again. Wigs are my new bffs. I can take them off nightly and make sure I get my weekly deep conditioning in on a regular basis. I know that weaves are NOT for me.
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OMG! you had to cut it off and start all over!!! When did you start to notice the damage? I will probably have to do the same thing. I haven't trimmed yet but really need to. I have some very long strands but they are strands and just look tacky. There is no need to hang on to them.
 
Same crap happened to me a few months ago when i tried to go the cheap way. And got someone who tore up my head to put in single braids. When i took them down my mbl hair was sl... And ends were thin, and they were only in for 3 weeks!!
 
@GraceJones the website is aliexpress.com.
they have a wide range of products but if you just type in something like Brazilian wig in the search bar, you'll find a bunch of stores that each have certain pieces. And the range of prices is relatively flexible too
 
This reminds me of my own experience with sew-ins where I paid a considerable amount of money for a sew-in I took out two-weeks later because my scalp was itching like crazy. In that two-weeks alone I lost a heap of strands. Sometimes, we have to listen to our hair. It doesn't appear your hair can take the stress of sew-ins and that's okay. The money you spend on buying hair and paying for an install is money you can use to request a custom-made wig that looks super natural for your face. I'm looking to get some custom wigs made by Hadiiya Barbel.
 
Rastafarai said:
. It doesn't appear your hair can take the stress of sew-ins and that's okay. The money you spend on buying hair and paying for an install is money you can use to request a custom-made wig that looks super natural for your face. I'm looking to get some custom wigs made by Hadiiya Barbel.
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I have been using sew-ins for your years and got good results with them. I retained many many inches. The difference was the stylist, and after 4 weeks my hair was not feeling right and the weave was coming out so I took it out and found a horrible mess.
 
My former stylist was sooooo good but she doubled her prices, and started being very hard to contact. She asked me not call her phone anymore, call the salon. You called the salon and they just kept you on-hold and never come back to the phone. There were never any appointments on-line, it would like the calendar was always full. I would go by the salon and make the appointment and there were openings if I went in.

Then she left me sitting outside the shop for an hour one day and told me she forgot about me. No apology. It just seemed that she was no longer interested in her business after she got married.
 
MileHighDiva said:
That sucks!
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She had been my stylist for 3 years and she had the most beautiful Mid-Back length and very thick hair. She did her own sew-ins, but from time to time she would wear her own hair and she was so good. She invited me to her wedding, I didn't go but sent a nice gift. After her marriage things when down hill at her business. She didn't seem to care anymore so I started looking else where.
 
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I know you said you're not a big fan of wigs, but would about 3/4 or half wigs? Is your real hair long enough for a faux bun? Crochet braids, maybe?

I'm so sorry that stylist messed up your hair. :(
 
Lady S said:
I know you said you're not a big fan of wigs, but would about 3/4 or half wigs? Is your real hair long enough for a faux bun? Crochet braids, maybe?

I'm so sorry that stylist messed up your hair. :(
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I can't put all the blame on him, because I knew he wasn't good. My husband said "train him baby' but I pay him, I shouldn't have to train him. I kept going to him not knowing the damage that was being done and the amount of damage that could happen. I'm still wondering what I'm going to do. I think a bun will probably work. I think I'm going to cut about 5-inches of strands that are long but thin and see-thru. I have patches of 5-inch hairs and 3-inch hairs and some cut to the scalp when he took the weave out. Then I have some hairs that are mid-back to waist but they don't look good, they look pitiful. Been growing my hair for years. I was so happy with thick, healthy, mid-back length hair and I could never imagine in two months, my hair would be a source of shame. A thin chewed-up mess.
 
diamondlady said:
OMG! you had to cut it off and start all over!!! When did you start to notice the damage? I will probably have to do the same thing. I haven't trimmed yet but really need to. I have some very long strands but they are strands and just look tacky. There is no need to hang on to them.
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I guess I did at 18 months but never truly paid any REAL attention to it until I was ready to wear my hair out again. That was a sad day for me and needless to say, I did not enjoy that experience at all:nono:.
 
diamondlady said:
My former stylist was sooooo good but she doubled her prices, and started being very hard to contact. She asked me not call her phone anymore, call the salon. You called the salon and they just kept you on-hold and never come back to the phone. There were never any appointments on-line, it would like the calendar was always full. I would go by the salon and make the appointment and there were openings if I went in.

Then she left me sitting outside the shop for an hour one day and told me she forgot about me. No apology. It just seemed that she was no longer interested in her business after she got married.
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Wow. Just... wow :angry2:
 
Aggie said:
I guess I did at 18 months but never truly paid any REAL attention to it until I was ready to wear my hair out again. That was a sad day for me and needless to say, I did not enjoy that experience at all:nono:.
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I'm so sorry this happened to you. I know it can be heart breaking.

I would take out my own sew-in and give myself a deep condition, I would wear my hair for a couple of weeks but the sew-in was so convenient - it went from a couple of weeks to a couple of days. I started noticing how my hair was getting really long so I was very happy.

I let my new stylist take out my sew-in and place right back in, the next time I took it out, it looked really thin. I talked to him about it and he told me as you get older you hair thins. The next install was Nov 21th, my head started feeling really funny so I took it out after 4 weeks. I wanted to cry.
 
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