meia
New Member
Hey all!
I had a strange occurence the other day and i'm still not sure what to make of it... the other day I washed my hair in the morning as i do everyday (i'm one of those 3C's that have to wet their hair daily if they are going out into public at all), then i used organic coconut oil to moisturize and then when i found out i was going out (i had fallen asleep after i did my hair and it dried) i wet it and i had the most CURLIEST curls ever that fell over one shoulder and met lower than my chest.
well i was waiting for public transportation later on in the day. My hair had managed to dry more than 85% at the time and the curl pattern was better than usual for me...well i ended up talking to a lady (she was mexican) and the first question she had for me (in broken english) was "is that a (and then she started making gestures to her hair roots)?" i blinked thinking what the hell was she talking about? then i realized she was asking me if i had WEAVE!!!
i said "no its not- its my own hair" and she said "ohhhh" and then she asked in broken english "is it really that curly?" and i nodded. she then asked me "what are you?" and i told her i was black and rican and she said "ohhhhhh...." so basically she, for the next few minutes, interrogated me as to whether it was my hair or not. then it got worse, fast- she randomnly without asking tugged at my new growth!!
like i was lying!?!?! 
who does sh*t like that? i mean really- you're going to tug at someones hair (mind you not too softly for that matter) and see if they are telling the truth. then she mentioned something about "a lot of girls *i'm assuming she meant my people* using a lot of (and she made that damn hair gesture again to show she was talking about weave)...
then we got on the train and she asked me if i'd sit with her so i said "okay"...then in what seemed like the longest 10-15 minute conversation she continued to talk about my hair "your dad is rican?" i said "no, my mom is" then she proceeded to ask me if i had any pictures. i said "yes" and actually (i don't know what i was thinking...) whipped out my cell and showed her pictures- a terribly grainy picture of my mom and she said "ohhh she don't look rican" and i glared at her (mind you ricans come in all colors and sizes and i don't even know why she made that observation). She said "you look dominicana.." i smiled and shook my head (every spanish person i run into thinks i'm dominican because i'm not pasty light...ughhh and thats all a terrible misconception) then she tugged on my hair again (at the ends which were feeling like butter that day) was talking about how "i like your hair, i wish i had" and i smiled and said "i like your hair" (i'm assuming she was a 2B at least, coarse only because she seemed to lighten her hair) and she smiled and then continued to ask me "why does here (the roots) look different (i'm assuming another hint at whether i was wearing weave or not) and i explained i'm growing out a relaxer to cut it. she said "nooooo don't cut it...it's very nice long. men like long hair.."...
and then i smiled....
shortly thereafter i got off the train and walked my merry way....and i still don't know what to make of that conversation!! was she just plain talking to me to offend me because she was trying to hurt me or was she genuinely interested and curious which is why she asked so many questions? sigh....i didn't even know what to make of that because whenever someone talks to me about my hair its hard for me to find someone that doesn't give out backhanded comments! what do you ladies think? should i perceive this as garden-variety ignorance or as plain wonder?
I had a strange occurence the other day and i'm still not sure what to make of it... the other day I washed my hair in the morning as i do everyday (i'm one of those 3C's that have to wet their hair daily if they are going out into public at all), then i used organic coconut oil to moisturize and then when i found out i was going out (i had fallen asleep after i did my hair and it dried) i wet it and i had the most CURLIEST curls ever that fell over one shoulder and met lower than my chest.
well i was waiting for public transportation later on in the day. My hair had managed to dry more than 85% at the time and the curl pattern was better than usual for me...well i ended up talking to a lady (she was mexican) and the first question she had for me (in broken english) was "is that a (and then she started making gestures to her hair roots)?" i blinked thinking what the hell was she talking about? then i realized she was asking me if i had WEAVE!!!
i said "no its not- its my own hair" and she said "ohhhh" and then she asked in broken english "is it really that curly?" and i nodded. she then asked me "what are you?" and i told her i was black and rican and she said "ohhhhhh...." so basically she, for the next few minutes, interrogated me as to whether it was my hair or not. then it got worse, fast- she randomnly without asking tugged at my new growth!!
like i was lying!?!?! who does sh*t like that? i mean really- you're going to tug at someones hair (mind you not too softly for that matter) and see if they are telling the truth. then she mentioned something about "a lot of girls *i'm assuming she meant my people* using a lot of (and she made that damn hair gesture again to show she was talking about weave)...then we got on the train and she asked me if i'd sit with her so i said "okay"...then in what seemed like the longest 10-15 minute conversation she continued to talk about my hair "your dad is rican?" i said "no, my mom is" then she proceeded to ask me if i had any pictures. i said "yes" and actually (i don't know what i was thinking...) whipped out my cell and showed her pictures- a terribly grainy picture of my mom and she said "ohhh she don't look rican" and i glared at her (mind you ricans come in all colors and sizes and i don't even know why she made that observation). She said "you look dominicana.." i smiled and shook my head (every spanish person i run into thinks i'm dominican because i'm not pasty light...ughhh and thats all a terrible misconception) then she tugged on my hair again (at the ends which were feeling like butter that day) was talking about how "i like your hair, i wish i had" and i smiled and said "i like your hair" (i'm assuming she was a 2B at least, coarse only because she seemed to lighten her hair) and she smiled and then continued to ask me "why does here (the roots) look different (i'm assuming another hint at whether i was wearing weave or not) and i explained i'm growing out a relaxer to cut it. she said "nooooo don't cut it...it's very nice long. men like long hair.."...
and then i smiled....
shortly thereafter i got off the train and walked my merry way....and i still don't know what to make of that conversation!! was she just plain talking to me to offend me because she was trying to hurt me or was she genuinely interested and curious which is why she asked so many questions? sigh....i didn't even know what to make of that because whenever someone talks to me about my hair its hard for me to find someone that doesn't give out backhanded comments! what do you ladies think? should i perceive this as garden-variety ignorance or as plain wonder?
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. It's funny how when people catch us off-guard, we do things that are out of character. Example: not cursing her out for randomly touching your hair AND show her the picture of your mom.
I think she liked your hair but she was probably in disbelief. Some races don't believe black girls can have long pretty hair. Like its strange to see that so they ask if its a weave. It makes ya mad but unfortunately its a stereotype against us that we are trying to dismiss. 
And still for months this question would come up..like they are not satisfied with the answer
..my question is Why should it matter? If people are trying to give a compliment, then they should just give it and keep it moving!
