Church Humor - Pin your wig on

[Zeal]

Yall...

I think I almost got slayed in worship and praise today. The service was so decent. I had on my favorite braided wig today with the satin cap. No pins so the wig was not stable. First time I wore a satin cap. Why did I choose Sunday to experiment.

I was all into the service. The choir had just finished singing Because of who you are.. now they were singing, "An incredible God deserves Incredible Praise". At this point I was on my feet. I could feel my head getting light. It felt like I was about to start floating. I was like Lord... No, please! Wait, Wait... Then the started singing "Everything" by Tye Tribbet. I had to sit down. Ok.. I did not get slayed.

I could just imagine myself coming to, lying on the floor (with a pink blanket on me) in the church aisle, with somone holding my wig in their hand standing over me.

My sister and I both made vows to each other if anything ever goes down, down't let anyone take my wig off.

Be blessed sistahs, pin your wigs down, and get your praise on.

Have a wonderful/blessed week.

 

[pebbles]

Yall...

I think I almost got slayed in worship and praise today. The service was so decent. I had on my favorite braided wig today with the satin cap. No pins so the wig was not stable. First time I wore a satin cap. Whey did I choose Sunday to experiment.

I was all into the service. The choir had just finished singing Because of who you are.. now they were singing, "An incredible God deserves incredible praise". At this point I was on my feet. I could feel my head getting light. It felt like I was about to start floating. I was like Lord... No, please! Wait, Wait... Then sang "Everything" by Tye Tribbet. I had to sit down. Ok.. I did not get slayed.

I could just imagine myself coming to, lying on the floor (with a pink blanket on me) in the church aisle, with somone holding my wig in their hand standing over me.

My sister and I both made vows to each other if anything ever goes down, down't let anyone take my wig off.

Be blessed sistahs, pin your wigs down, and get your praise on.

Have a wonderful/blessed week.

LOL!! You know you were having CHURCH today!!

 

[Shimmie]

Zeal, I can feel you, girl. I held back once because I forgot to put a pin in the wasit of my skirt; the fabric was a slippery satin type.

Praise and worship was awesome, but every move I made, my skirt kept sliding. I spent the whole Praise and Worship service holding my skirt with one hand and waving praises with the other. I needed an 'Altar call for my clothes, alone. I couldn't get home fast enough that day. I had another day when the elastic on my slip was loose. This was all during a time when I was loosing weight. I was so embarrassed. No one had a pin.

Next time go ahead and let God 'slay' you. I'll be right there holding the wig on your head. When they ask, I'll just say, "The Bible does say, keep her head covered, doesn't it? All awhile, I'll be adjusting things for you...

You have a wonderful week of blessings as well. You too Pebs. You've had a long weekend on the forum.

I'm turning in. Sweet sleep to both of you. All of your cares will keep, for God has taken every care into His heart just as He has with you...

 

[pebbles]

Thank-you, Shimmie! :Rose:

 

[Zeal]

Shimmie is the best.

 

[dreamer26]

Girl, I know what you mean.

A few sundays ago I had a bun on my had that wasn't that secure after I started with my praise and worship. It felt like it was going to fall off. In between songs I sat down and tried to adjust it and push it down and it felt secure, but soon as I started clapping and waving my arms it just felt like it was coming off.

All I could think of was I would start shouting or something and this bun would go flying and they would see this plastic bag on my pony tail and then I would have to fall out even if the spirit didn't hit me just so somebody else could take me out of the church because I would be so embarrassed.

Thank God it didn't go anywhere, but it taught me to secure my head pieces, because I can't be missing my blessings.

 

[Shimmie]

Don't we go through some 'changes'? Men don't have these problems.

We are so focused on getting to church ahead of time for early intercessory prayer, setting up for the guests, Communion Sunday, preparing Pastor's area on the Altar, preparing the nursery/Sunday school for the little ones (I took care of the 'babies' for years and loved it.)

Ladies, you know the drill... . We forget and think we're ready, out the door we go; getting in the car, turning on a worship CD, praising God in song...some of us praying in tongues...(when you don't what to pray).

Our minds are not on us...we're on a mission, truly a mission; getting to church before the devil does... Come on, you know it's true.

Then as soon as the service begins, it happens. Loose, buns, wigs, skirts, slips, some have loose teeth or a loose shoe, twisted pantyhose, cracked heel on our shoe, underwear with loose elastic, chipped nail polish, earrings lose a backing, lipstick falls out of the tube, no tissues in purse...

Oh well, we're just a beautiful gathering of "Loose Women..." We love Jesus, though. Oh yes we do. We love our Pastors, that's why we do like we do; we leave the house without the right shoe...or was the left one

Now where'd I put the scotch tape to fix the loose hem in my skirt...?

 

[pebbles]

Loose teeth!!! BWAHHAAAAHAAAA!

LOL! Your post is funny, Shimmie!! You're right, though. When it's time to praise HIM, all bets are off! LOL!!

 

[dreamer26]

Don't we go through some 'changes'? Men don't have these problems.


Then as soon as the service begins, it happens. Loose, buns, wigs, skirts, slips, some have loose teeth or a loose shoe, twisted pantyhose, cracked heel on our shoe, underwear with loose elastic, chipped nail polish, earrings lose a backing, lipstick falls out of the tube, no tissues in purse...


Now where'd I put the scotch tape to fix the loose hem in my skirt...?

Shimmie girl this is to funny. I remember I wanted to get my nails done but waited to late so I went and bought some lee press on nails, how about during service I picked up my bible "it is heavy" and the weight of the bible popped a nail and it went flying.

Girl, I see why comedians have a field day at church, it is some funny stuff that happens in church. Especially to the ladies.

Thanks for the laugh my soul needed it today.

 

[Zeal]

Girl, I know what you mean.

A few sundays ago I had a bun on my had that wasn't that secure after I started with my praise and worship. It felt like it was going to fall off. In between songs I sat down and tried to adjust it and push it down and it felt secure, but soon as I started clapping and waving my arms it just felt like it was coming off.

All I could think of was I would start shouting or something and this bun would go flying and they would see this plastic bag on my pony tail and then I would have to fall out even if the spirit didn't hit me just so somebody else could take me out of the church because I would be so embarrassed.

Thank God it didn't go anywhere, but it taught me to secure my head pieces, because I can't be missing my blessings.

Yes, thank God.

Ok. So I am not the only one..... I feel a lot better . Lord! Help us all. Dreamer26, Shimmie, Pebbles, and Zeal. We know God has a sense of humor. So.....

 

[Shimmie]

Shimmie girl this is to funny. I remember I wanted to get my nails done but waited to late so I went and bought some lee press on nails, how about during service I picked up my bible "it is heavy" and the weight of the bible popped a nail and it went flying.

Girl, I see why comedians have a field day at church, it is some funny stuff that happens in church. Especially to the ladies.

Thanks for the laugh my soul needed it today.

Oh, there's more:

My Bible is heavy from all those 'extra' offering envelopes...I use them for bookmarks. People think I always have an offering ready...I do...but the envelopes are also good to hold the pages so I can 'fix' my skirt, while Pastor is preaching...

What about the Psalmist who finally has her turn to sing solo with the choir? Why is her choir robe hiked up in the back?

Ever see a 'braid' lying in a chair or slip out of a members' hair when she leaves an Altar call? That's why I won't wear braids anymore. I lost one...or two or three...Oh please who knows how many? I have hair where braid extensions have a tendency to slip. So embarrassing.

There's one still missing and I am too scared to ask if anyone saw it. One day I was trying to do a braid search and someone asked me could they help me find what I was looking for? Well, I didn't lie...I just couldn't summom the courage to say what it was. I just said 'Bless you heart' gave them a hug and did everything but 'run' to get home.

I'm wondering what areas we need more prayer for? I know people need healing and to get saved before service is over...but sometimes I wonder if being a woman needs more prayer than anything?

Even our co-Pastor our Pastor's wife has stories... We're talking the head of our church.

I need to read my Bible and get a word from the Lord... I've had it with 'tattered' garments and other cosmetic malfunctions.

Now, do we need to talk about the children. What we discover with them once we're in church and can't go back home to fix it.

Bring it on....I know you've got some stories with this.

 

[Zeal]

Ok. this has turned into Church humor I see. I would love to hear more hair stories.

OK, About the children. We did a play for Resurrection Sunday. I was Mary Magdalene. , My sister was Mary. "All" Sunday school classes participated. We rally did not have a rehearsal. The boy who played Jesus came down off of the cross looked left, looked right and strolled off of the stage like, "Peace, I'm Out!!" All he had to do to complete the stroll was shake a sideways peace sign at the congregation. The other 2 guys were still on their crosses. Then the curtains closed.

The congregation fell out. Then my sister and I had to go on the stage right after that to go to the tomb. Why wasn't there a tomb on stage? When I walked out on stage I was laughing so hard from the cross scene. It really seemed as though I was crying. (As miry was when she approached to tomb)

I need to get the tape and put it on you tube. The whole play turned out to be a comedy

 

[Shimmie]

Ok. this has turned into Church humor I see. I would love to hear more hair stories.

OK, About the children. We did a play for Resurrection Sunday. I was Mary Magdalene. , My sister was Mary. "All" Sunday school classes participated. We rally did not have a rehearsal. The boy who played Jesus came down off of the cross looked left, looked right and strolled off of the stage like, "Peace, I'm Out!!" All he had to do to complete the stroll was shake a sideways peace sign at the congregation. The other 2 guys were still on their crosses. Then the curtains closed.

The congregation fell out. Then my sister and I had to go on the stage right after that to go to the tomb. Why wasn't there a tomb on stage? When I walked out on stage I was laughing so hard from the cross scene. It really seemed as though I was crying. (As miry was when she approached to tomb)

I need to get the tape and put it on you tube. The whole play turned out to be a comedy

Too cute, Zeal. I can only imagine how everyone thought you were so 'into' your part, tears and all.

I've been there time and again with the Church plays and the children. I used to write the plays and songs for the Christmas and Easter (Resurrection Sunday) services.

One of our plays was about the Kings in the Bible from King Saul to the King of Kings, Jesus. So why in the middle of the play does one of 'babies' just sit on the front step and proceed to take off his shoe and fix his sock and then fix his shoe back on.

Well, it was (after all) a convenient spot for him, but the timing was just what it was....a little child stealing the show. Gotta love em...our babies...

 

[Zeal]

Not to Hijack the Thread.

Um.. Shimmie. This was a teenager that came down off of the cross. Like 15 or 16.