If I may offer an alternative perspective, it's very easy to get caught up in the "spirit" of this discussion and I definately did. I confronted my hubby and asked him, "Why do men seem to get awy with everything and why does 'the church' put all the focus on women???" Well he had some good points.
First point, what church? The Baptist church? Catholic? Pentacostal? ALL churches? How many churches have you attended where this is the case? There are billions of men in the world and I venture to say that each of us have probably only encountered a few hundred. We see the media portrayals and add to that our personal experience and make a blanket judgement of a whole gender, a whole faith based on that. Is that not the same as what whites did to blacks? Or vice versa? How can we lump all men and all churches into a blanket judgement like that? Can anyone even say the "vast majority?" How do we know that? My Pastor for example talks to the MEN more than the women about sexuality. So is our church not "part of" the church? Are we an exception? Where is the documented studies, the scientific proof that this is the case? Sisters this needs to stop. The judging needs to stop. The Holy Spirit really convicted me of this.We meed to STOP juging and lumping everyone into our perception. Remember what ever measure that YOU judge with, you'll be met with the same.
I didn't wait until I was married (far from it), my hubby did. Not because anyone preached at him, but because that's what the spirit laid on him. I was his first (we did put the cart before the horse and surely it was my idea lol, but he did marry me! So although 'technically' since we did do the deed before we were married, he didn't wait, but since we did get married and I was the only one he was with, he did wait...make sense at all? He wasn't a ho like I was
).
So anyway, my point is, you can't accuse the church or judge the curc or the men based on such a small cross section of people. If it's a particular Pastor, a particular man, then take it up with him, but don't you dare make a blanket judgement. That's not of God at all. Think about it. How would you feel if someone said all black women wear weaves and can't grow hair? Or black women don't make good wives because they have ad attitudes? By the same measure we have judge them men and the church, we could not take offense to either of those statements. While sure some of our sisters do have bad attitudes, do you want to be classified or lumped in to that? We're all trying to grow our hair right? Doyou want everyone to assume you got a weave cause "we can't grow hair?" I'm telling you, it's that same spirit that accuses the church and all men. And you all KNOW who the accuser of the bretheren is right? satan. So don't give in to that spirit. You need to look the devil straight in the face, tell him to shut up and go back to hell wwhere he belongs and that he will not pervert your mind with judgemental attitudes because as a follower of Christ, that is not what you're called to do.
Just pray about it.