Chicken

8HoursFromHome

8HoursFromHome

New Member
I'm chicken ladies. I met a really nice guy on vacation. He was staying at the same hostel. One night, we stayed up all night talking about life missions and things of that nature. No sexual advances were made by him or me. I felt an instant connection with him...not sure if he did. Anyhoo, this vacation was all about research and visiting family so I didn't have time to pursue another meeting or even a conversation with him. On my last day, I couldn't bring myself to leave without seeing him again. I waited in the front room until he appeared. We had another nice (but short) conversation then I finally got up the nerve to give him my email address. I said that it would be nice to hear from him from time to time. He then insisted on giving me his phone number, stating that if I ever needed him, to call.

He's 10 years older than me, but that's not a problem. He's a total nerd, an engineer/inventor. (maybe I'm already in love with his mind) I'm torn - is he just a nice guy (lord knows I need to know that there are some left) or was he just shy???

When I got home (after an 8 hour drive) I sent him an email letting him know I was home. He sent a reply that was very warm and friendly. I'm 'stuck' on him already, can't stop thinking about him!! WTH!!! I sent him some haiku that came to my mind and he replied with haiku.

What to do??? My sisters, please help! I can't get him off my mind, he made a HUGE impression on me!! :perplexed
 
It sounds like you met a really nice guy, but from what you've said I don't see any indication that he has a romantic interest in you. If you didn't write to him first would he initiate contact? That's really the only way to know if he's thinking of you as much as you're thinking of him.
In the meantime, now that you're home get out and start meeting more guys. The more you socialize and date the less you're going to dwell on this man. If he wants you, he'll let you know. When a man wants a woman shy doesn't exist.
 
Cheetarah, there was something there...I don't know what it was...a connection for sure. When I was leaving, he insisted on giving me his number when I only asked for his email.

Strangefruit, like the title says, I'm chicken. I've not had very good luck with men...

I've already sent the initial email. I'll wait to hear from him. I know he's busy working on the oil spill clean up, he's got a wonderful proposal and is currently touring the area so I won't bother him too much.

Right now, I'm over-analyzing things. I tend to do that when I'm nervous...
 
He gave you his number and didn't ask for yours or anything from you. Don't dwell on this too much. What could you two even accomplish given you don't live near each other?
 
MissJ, VERY valid point. I think I'll just enjoy the fantasy until the magic wears off...

Oh, and I did give him my email, that's when he insisted on giving me his #
 
displacedcreole said:
Cheetarah, there was something there...I don't know what it was...a connection for sure. When I was leaving, he insisted on giving me his number when I only asked for his email.

Strangefruit, like the title says, I'm chicken. I've not had very good luck with men...

I've already sent the initial email. I'll wait to hear from him. I know he's busy working on the oil spill clean up, he's got a wonderful proposal and is currently touring the area so I won't bother him too much.

Right now, I'm over-analyzing things. I tend to do that when I'm nervous...
Click to expand...
I swear I'm not trying to rain on your parade, so please don't take this that way. I do not doubt that you and this man connected. However, that doesn't mean that he felt the connection in the same way you did. Insisting on giving you his number really doesn't mean anything more than what he said...that if you ever need anything you can call him. If he had said that he really wanted to see you again and would love to keep in touch then that would be totally different. Also, when a man is interested in you romantically he takes matters into his own hands. Why leave it up to you to call him when he could make sure you speak in the future by asking for YOUR number. The nature of the responses to the e-mails you've sent him seem to be friendly but not romantic. I would really hate to see you build something up in your mind that doesn't necessarily exist. You can't read into his actions anything more than what he's directly told you. Unless he comes out and says, "I'm interested," then it stands to reason that the connection you two shared is on the friend level.
 
displacedcreole said:
MissJ, VERY valid point. I think I'll just enjoy the fantasy until the magic wears off...

Oh, and I did give him my email, that's when he insisted on giving me his #
Click to expand...

Still, he did not ask you for anything. You were the pursuer. He gave you his number, putting you in charge of contacting him. A man who is interested would not do that or wait on pins and needles for a woman to contact him. He would have taken your number.
 
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Try just being a friend. In your mind, act as if he was a cool female you met on vacay and wanted to keep in contact with. No expectations, keep it light, but make it somewhat personal, don't start sending him stupid emails he needs to send to 50 other people in 50 seconds or he will have bad luck for 50 years. Maybe pick up on some of the topics you talked about that evening and see how receptive he is. You should have a better feel of things with him within a few weeks. Good luck.
 
You ladies are the best. I haven't dated in forever, too busy with work and research. I swear I don't know what I'm doing most times. Sometimes I don't see when men are interested in me, too busy with whatever I'm doing...

I've had time to think about this, he's on the west coast and I'm in TX. What could possibly happen? He was/is very friendly to me. I'll keep it at that. It was just nice to meet a truly nice man. I think God is showing me that there are some left...
 
frizzy said:
Try just being a friend. In your mind, act as if he was a cool female you met on vacay and wanted to keep in contact with. No expectations, keep it light, but make it somewhat personal, don't start sending him stupid emails he needs to send to 50 other people in 50 seconds or he will have bad luck for 50 years. Maybe pick up on some of the topics you talked about that evening and see how receptive he is. You should have a better feel of things with him within a few weeks. Good luck.
Click to expand...

I did have the nerve to send him a nice haiku on the subject matter we discussed (spirituality and life missions). He replied with haiku along the same lines.

When I was leaving, I gave him my email and asked that we stay in touch. We did have wonderful conversations and I genuinely want to continue. He's very knowledgable on reiki and buddhism. He's a very wise man. When he gave me his email, he insisted on giving me his phone number and stated, "please call me whenever you need me." His exact words.

The reality is that he's WAY over there, and I'm right here... We can still continue to have wonderful and insightful exchanges. I guess I just had to wait for the smoke to clear...
 
Late to the party on this one, but I have to agree with Cheetarah and MissJ.

If I had a dollar for every time I swore on a dead person's grave that there was a "connection" between me and some guy I met... well, I could buy something really nice. There was no connection (at least not romantically)... because in order to have a connection, both people have to feel something.

It was I who decided that a nice meeting/conversation/week/evening together meant that something amazing had happened. In his case, he probably just thought, "Well, that was a nice young lady. I enjoyed meeting her." THE END.

Oh, and another problem comes when women read incorrectly into certain things. You brought up the "he insisted I take his number" thing quite a bit.... well, in my own experience, that sounds like those dates I had that ended with, "Hey, you have my number/here's my number. Call me any time you'd like to hang out/get coffee/get together!"

When I was younger, I'd call those people. We'd hang out and have fun, but it was ALWAYS initiated by me. So, eventually, with other men I met in the future that did this, I decided NOT to call as an experiment.

I never heard from them again.

My wise female mentors who were married or in great longterm relationships constantly told me that I was reading way too much into those situations and that although the men sounded nice, they were not interested in the same way I was. They were always right! They said if a man was interested, HE would ask for MY number, he would call ME and it wouldn't matter if he was far away, traveling, "busy" or whatever... a man who is interested will let you know and there will be no guessing about it.
 
Bunny77 said:
Late to the party on this one, but I have to agree with Cheetarah and MissJ.

If I had a dollar for every time I swore on a dead person's grave that there was a "connection" between me and some guy I met... well, I could buy something really nice. There was no connection (at least not romantically)... because in order to have a connection, both people have to feel something.

It was I who decided that a nice meeting/conversation/week/evening together meant that something amazing had happened. In his case, he probably just thought, "Well, that was a nice young lady. I enjoyed meeting her." THE END.

Oh, and another problem comes when women read incorrectly into certain things. You brought up the "he insisted I take his number" thing quite a bit.... well, in my own experience, that sounds like those dates I had that ended with, "Hey, you have my number/here's my number. Call me any time you'd like to hang out/get coffee/get together!"

When I was younger, I'd call those people. We'd hang out and have fun, but it was ALWAYS initiated by me. So, eventually, with other men I met in the future that did this, I decided NOT to call as an experiment.

I never heard from them again.

My wise female mentors who were married or in great longterm relationships constantly told me that I was reading way too much into those situations and that although the men sounded nice, they were not interested in the same way I was. They were always right! They said if a man was interested, HE would ask for MY number, he would call ME and it wouldn't matter if he was far away, traveling, "busy" or whatever... a man who is interested will let you know and there will be no guessing about it.
Click to expand...


Bolded is something I like to second guess but now realize it can not be ignored. If he wants you, he'll come to you. No ifs about it.
 
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