Changing hair care routine for SO......

[the_UnPrettiest_pretty]

So I have been doing the protective styles routine while on my WL journey. I wear my hair up in buns and ponys and braids so that I can protect the ends and keep my hair moisturized. I know you ladies all know where I'm coming from. Needless to say, SO made a comment to me this past weekend saying that I need to wear my hair down more often and that he's tired of seeing me with my hair always pinned/tied up. He said he liked it better when I wasn't really paying all that much attention to my hair and I wore it down more often (before the hair boards). So of course I get defensive and get him straight (in a nice way though) and let him know that I'm working on a goal, and right now, I don't care to apply any direct heat to my hair, thus, that is why I don't wear my hair down like I used to. Since I haven't quite yet mastered rollersets to get the look I want, the only way my hair looks somewhat presentable is if I flat iron it. I thanked him for being concerned about my appearance, but also tried to get him to understand that back then, I didn't know anything about how to properly care for my hair. I tried to explain to him that I was seriously damaging my hair back then because I didn't know any better (yall, I was flatironing and curling every week!). Now that I do know (and now that I'm getting older), I want to try to protect it and keep it as long as I can. He said he would try to understand, but he really wants me to start wearing my hair pressed out more (he calls it the good ole days).

Anyone else have these hair woes with their SO?

 

[sareca]

I don't do henna treatments when he's home, but that's about it.

 

[the_UnPrettiest_pretty]

He says I spend too much time on the hair boards. He told me that if I already have long, pretty hair, what's the point of having it/growing it out if I'm not going to show it off? I took him up on it and I'll be flatironing tonight. I kinda don't want to, but I guess he's right, I do need to wear it down more often.

 

[neonbright]

I haven't totally change the way I wear my hair, it is usually down or in a low pony tail. But every now and then I like to get a cute updo at the stylist, my SO stated that he likes the half up and half down or most up and some down. So I asked him about my low ponies and he likes them also. So I guess he just wants to see some hair. After we got married I had to chop my APL hair off due to chemical damage to an chin length inverted bob and he loved that style also, I think he just likes to see some moving hair no matter how long it is.

 

[wheezy807]

He says I spend too much time on the hair boards. He told me that if I already have long, pretty hair, what's the point of having it/growing it out if I'm not going to show it off? I took him up on it and I'll be flatironing tonight. I kinda don't want to, but I guess he's right, I do need to wear it down more often.

Sounds like somebody is feeling a little neglected, i think. My bf is always complimenting me everytime i wear my hair down, which is not that often. He had the nerve to tell me the other day that i looked older when i wear my hair in a bun- which is a boldface lie by the way. Men are just like that, always wanting you to wear your hair down. I think they associate it with sexuality.

 

[HoneyDew]

My SO does not like when I have braids and weaves. I got braids anyway recently and kept them in for 4 weeks. He did not say much.

Well, Saturday night was the first time in a month since he saw me without the braids. He said "you look pretty tonight". I thought it was sweet, but then I was thinking - dang have I been looking a hot mess with my braids.

He just does not like them and feels that my own hair suits me better.

I was going to get a weave next month, but I am having 2nd thoughts since he is so against them.

 

[Soliel185]

I want to get box braids and my SO is very against it. He doesn't think it's a "good look". I really don't see what the big deal is since my hair is always in a bun now anyway. The issue is I'm 12+ weeks post and my hair is starting to shed like crazy - I'm so frustrated now with trying to detangle w/o covering the sink with hair that I just want to put it away before I do some major damage. I've had braids before and men had no problem with it but he's never seen them so he's all pouty about it.

 

[the_UnPrettiest_pretty]

My SO cannot stand weaves, so I don't get them (except for synthetic hair when wearing cornrows). He hates it too when I get braids. I also think it's more of a sexuality type thing too when it comes to men. A lot of men associate women with long pretty hair as a sex symbol. Sad, but true. When I tie my hair up at night, he tells me I look like Strawberry Shortcake or the the little mushroom characters of of Mario Bros It makes me mad when he gets impatient with my hair care process. The first thing he'll say is "if you quit puttin all that s*&^ on your hair and leave it alone, maybe it will grow. You keep following up with those damned hairboards and all your hair might just fall out"

As funny/annoying as he can be about my hair care journey, I do agree that he may be feeling a little neglected, so I will start paying him a little more attention (but I won't be giving up LHCF). I just don't want all of my efforts to be in vain or wasted.

 

[HERicane10]

I don't do henna treatments when he's home, but that's about it.

DITTO! on the henna.....or any "Indian" treatment at all! But my DH has commented on "never" seeing my hair. I know he doesn't really prefer the bun or plain french roll thing, but he tolerates it. Sometimes I feel very bad, because I want to be as attractive to him now as I was when we were dating! He really loved it when I had crotchet braids.......because it atleast LOOKED like a real hairstyle. There's just no win-win situation when growing hair.....is there?

 

[Keedah]

the henna thing is funny...the other day my SO called and wanted me to go to the movies. I told him I needed to do my hair (henna). So he calls back a few hours later and wants to watch a movie at his place. I tell him I have henna in my hair and I wont be washing it out for a few hours. He tells me to come over anyway and wash it out over there....umm I dont think he wants his shower stained red OR will he like the smell of henna mixed with applie cider vinegar very much. Needless to say I had to politely decline.

 

[HoneyDew]

My SO cannot stand weaves, so I don't get them (except for synthetic hair when wearing cornrows). He hates it too when I get braids. I also think it's more of a sexuality type thing too when it comes to men. A lot of men associate women with long pretty hair as a sex symbol. Sad, but true. When I tie my hair up at night, he tells me I look like Strawberry Shortcake or the the little mushroom characters of of Mario Bros It makes me mad when he gets impatient with my hair care process. The first thing he'll say is "if you quit puttin all that s*&^ on your hair and leave it alone, maybe it will grow. You keep following up with those damned hairboards and all your hair might just fall out"

As funny/annoying as he can be about my hair care journey, I do agree that he may be feeling a little neglected, so I will start paying him a little more attention (but I won't be giving up LHCF). I just don't want all of my efforts to be in vain or wasted.

Your sweetie sounds like mine

He always has jokes about my scarf "the contraption", as he calls it on my head.

Last weekend, he gave me hug and started smelling my hair and said "Ahh the smell of chemicals, creams and oils in the morning". He was kidding and said he was just playin', but I ALWAYS get joked.

 

[Evolving78]

I guess I'm in one of those moods today because I would tell him to get the hell out of my face. I do what I want to do with my hair. I have always changed my hair up and never stick to anything for long. I will change color, length, style, etc... Whatever I'm feelin that day, that is what my hair will be. I can't stand men sometimes. Women have to go through too much to try to keep a man happy. Men don't have to change if they don't want to and women will just except it. Just like you said, you have a goal. Men never let anyone take them from their goals, so why should you? Once you get to where you want your hair to be, then wear it down or whatever. Let one bad thing happen that will set you back to the point where you have to cut your hair or do something else drastic then what is going to say. I don't think this is about your hair. He started trippin about how you are on these hair boards too much and that he like your hair better before you joined. Now what does that tell you? If I sound snappy, don't mind me, I'm pregnant!LOL!

 

[IntoMyhair]

My S/O was the same when i was first starting out with doing my/our hair and the consistant washing deep coning and such
but now he is better with it some what anyway lol

 

[HoneyDew]

I guess I'm in one of those moods today because I would tell him to get the hell out of my face. I do what I want to do with my hair. I have always changed my hair up and never stick to anything for long. I will change color, length, style, etc... Whatever I'm feelin that day, that is what my hair will be. I can't stand men sometimes. Women have to go through too much to try to keep a man happy. Men don't have to change if they don't want to and women will just except it. Just like you said, you have a goal. Men never let anyone take them from their goals, so why should you? Once you get to where you want your hair to be, then wear it down or whatever. Let one bad thing happen that will set you back to the point where you have to cut your hair or do something else drastic then what is going to say. I don't think this is about your hair. He started trippin about how you are on these hair boards too much and that he like your hair better before you joined. Now what does that tell you? If I sound snappy, don't mind me, I'm pregnant!LOL!

LOL! Dang SD!

I know where you are coming from though. If he did not make certain efforts for me, I would not really care as much. I do like to please my man and look good for him. But, he knows he has to keep his game up for me, as well. I need him to stay fit with no flab. He works hard at it, too. He has long wavy hair and when I told him that I like it better when he does not use lots of product in it and let it look natural while pulled back - he listened. He will even say - "I know you don't like it when I use to much in my hair, but I was in a rush". Also, if I ask him to wear a certain outfit because I like to see him in it, he will do it.

I think I can make some adjustments for him.

But those dudes that just never do anything or make any sacrifices, I would tell him to get out of my faces, as well. I've know plenty of those.

 

[SpiritJunkie]

funny..my guy usually stays away from my hair but ever since i took out my weave his hands have been all up in my hair.

he never said he doesn't like weave but obviously he likes to touch my hair...