Challenges with Explaining your Hair Care with Stylists

[SerenityBreeze]

Hi Ladies,

For the past year and a half I have been texlaxing my hair, so you can imagine the difference in hair textures. Today I decided to go to a salon. The stylist told me that my ends were damaged when compared to the hair closest to my scalp..

I found it difficult to explain to her that I intentially am textlaxing and my hair is not damaged just has two textures. Also, I tried to explain that by blowing only the roots or textlaxed part of my hair after a rollerset will eventually balance out the textures in a healthy manner.


Then when she found out that I did my own relaxer (texlax) then she say's,.."Ahhh, well thats why your hair is under processed..."

What a challenge! How do you ladies explain things like this without sounding too biggedy and not a "know it all" -- because YOU KNOW they think we dont know what we are talking about.

I enjoy caring for my hair, but sometimes, like today, I want the convenience of a shampoo chair and not having to run in and out of the shower a million times on wash days praying that I did not use up all the hot water from my first shower for shampoo. LOL

What are your communication challenges and how do you address them?

 

[fattyfatfat]

I address them by walking out of the salon.

 

[NIN4eva]

I address them by walking out of the salon.

LMAO! You're siggy is hilarious

 

[SerenityBreeze]

I hear you washnset, but isnt there a point where you feel you should be able to communicate with them..Maybe there is some art to it....


Like today what I did was I agreed with them just to get my way by saying, "Your right, my ends are damaged so try combing gently from the ends up to avoid breakage. I am really going to think about that trim you suggested, thanks!"

Any ladies out there use this type of psychology?

 

[fattyfatfat]

its too much at the salon for me to try to communicate with them. I got tired of them after a while and now Im my own stylist and I looooves it!

I hear you washnset, but isnt there a point where you feel you should be able to communicate with them..Maybe there is some art to it....


Like today what I did was I agreed with them just to get my way by saying, "Your right, my ends are damaged so try combing gently from the ends up to avoid breakage. I am really going to think about that trim you suggested, thanks!"

Any ladies out there use this type of psychology?

 

[IDareT'sHair]

My Last T/U was performed by a Kitchen-tician. She has her Comestology License, but has never worked in a shop. And she's a relative.

She saw my Hair at the Onset of my Major Salon Mishap and made suggestions about my hair being overly porous, over processed etc....So, I decided to give her a shot, as I kept underprocessing (on my own) and was never satisfied with the Final Results.erplexed

Well......She did Exactly what I asked/told her to do. I ask her to relax the crown/edges/nape last and I asked her to 'trim' the ends....and I did the Mid-Protein Step after relaxing and before neutralizing.

It took alot of the pressure off because she knows the severity of the damage I experienced and she knows I have been taking care of my own hair since that incident. So, she kept her suggestions/comments/etc....to her self.

I told her I would come back sometime in July for another T/U. So, we'll see if it continues to be a easy, pleasant exchange.....

You know Folx have a way of tryna' tell you what you should be/need to be/ought to be Doing to YOUR HURR.......

 

[PinkPebbles]

I understand...it can be a challenge at times!

I made a decision to only see my stylist for touch-ups / trims. Ocassionally, I may go for a shampoo / style.

However, at my last visit my stylist asked me if I was deep conditioning my hair at home. I said yes. Then she asked with what b/c my hair looked dry. I told her and she said I don't like that conditioner. I said well, do you have any recommendations? She gave one and I tried it but that conditioner did not agree with my hair.

On the contrary, I'm glad she pointed out my dryness b/c I thought it was just due to my stretch / new growth. I found a more moisturizing conditioner that will be better for my relaxer stretches.

Serenity-Breeze to answer your question - if you have the patience then I agree that you have to use reverse psychology. As well as challenging them opposed to them challenging you by asking questions. Ex. Do you have any recommendations; are you into healthy hair care practices, how many of your clients have long healthy hair, if yes, what is their regimen, etc.

 

[Minty]

it has been my experience from observing LCHF members getting services that there is too much going on. A few walked in the salon with a gang of hair supply products...Um, how about planning things out before bringing in the small arsenal.

You can't go on about your entire hair history, I'm sorry but a stylist doesn't have that kind of time. If you are a walk-in, then unless you ask the stylist for a consultation - which is VERY important, then you will receive the same treatment (good/bad/or indifferent) as the other "normal" clients that come in the salon.

Alot of times we come in (whether intentionally or unintentionally) with an "off" attitude, and it is apparent by the body language.

There is nothing wrong with the stylist - its the same as when you go into the DMV and ask a "non-standard" question. The person at the desk gives you the wrong info, tells you to fill out the wrong form, or go stand in the wrong line, just to be told you should go back to the line of the one you originally spoke to. If we keep in mind that there is something alittle different about US, then we will be better able to communicate with salon professionals.

I can not stress this enough - do not walk into a salon, have a bad feeling before you even get in the chair and stay ANYWAY.

Do not let your FIRST appointment with a new stylist - be your retouch appoint, or a wash and blowout when you are umpteen weeks post! And then catch an attitude when she tells you "Ma you need a relaxer!"

Do not go into the salon, start using the coded language of LHCF and catch an attitude when your stylist doesn't know what in the world you are talking about.

Do not go into the salon talking about "what works for you" when you've only tried supermarket, Rite Aid, or cornerstore BSS products on sale, and your stylist uses professional grade brands. (true story for me, non lhcf member)

Do not go into the salon and let the stylist find out after the wash that your hair gets lockjaw when its wet, she washes it, then you catch an attitude when she is over the sink trying to untangle your hair for 1 hour (true story for me non lhcf member) erplexed

Do not go into the salon if you are negative about going to the salon and "all stylists" blah blah blah generalizations. No one wants to work and deal with somebody else's negativity.

Do not go to a stylist with a language barrier

Do not go to a stylist 'just' because she is the same race and you make the assumption that she will know what to do. Or the opposite of this.


Do - pick first chair stylists
Do - take first morning appointments, even if its a walk-in appt.
Do - ask for a 5 min. consultation - in the consult, ask them if they specialize in healthy hair, if not, that may be okay - move on from there by asking other questions or simply say "my hair is very fragile, I'd like to tell you how I've been taking care of my hair lately, and this is what I'd like you to do to my hair today..."

A perfect example of this is the way IDTH detailed how she wanted her hair relaxed. It was detailed, clear and I know she physically showed her what she wanted the stylist to do. Before she started, she saw that the stylist was in agreement with her wishes.

If you are doing things to your hair that may adversely affect how the results of the service will come out, you must be aware of that and inform the stylist too - example, using henna, or using permanent hair color when going in for color services.

Do not let things get out of hand and you get frustrated. Talk to her before, and during if you think things aren't going the way you think they should.

ex. I do not perform blow outs beginning with a round brush until the hair is 60% dry. I use a paddle brush. Mostly all the ladies think there is something wrong with me or that I don't know what I'm doing. I get tapped on the arm, others that walk by ask what I'm doing, etc. So I guess I'm saying - be patient.

We are just alittle different, it does not mean that we are the only ones, it just means sometimes we have to search alittle longer than the next person.

sorry so wordy.

 

[Zawaj]

it has been my experience from observing LCHF members getting services that there is too much going on. A few walked in the salon with a gang of hair supply products...Um, how about planning things out before bringing in the small arsenal.

You can't go on about your entire hair history, I'm sorry but a stylist doesn't have that kind of time. If you are a walk-in, then unless you ask the stylist for a consultation - which is VERY important, then you will receive the same treatment (good/bad/or indifferent) as the other "normal" clients that come in the salon.

Alot of times we come in (whether intentionally or unintentionally) with an "off" attitude, and it is apparent by the body language.

I can not stress this enough - do not walk into a salon, have a bad feeling before you even get in the chair and stay ANYWAY.

Do not let your FIRST appointment with a new stylist - be your retouch appoint, or a wash and blowout when you are umpteen weeks post! And then catch an attitude when she tells you "Ma you need a relaxer!"

We are just alittle different, it does not mean that we are the only ones, it just means sometimes we have to search alittle longer than the next person.

sorry so wordy.

Thank you OP for this post! It's something that I'll be dealing with soon. I'm switching stylists and I've been dreading it for the reasons you stated.

HijabiFlyGirl: Thanks for you detailed suggestions! It's hard not to go into the salon with a little extra cockiness at time lol. I'm going to my SIL's hairdresser and SIL has already warned her since I'm a hijabi to "put the screen up" lol. At least we've got that obstacle dealt with.

 

[Minty]

yes - we have DOUBLE issues.

 

[SerenityBreeze]

it has been my experience from observing LCHF members getting services that there is too much going on. A few walked in the salon with a gang of hair supply products...Um, how about planning things out before bringing in the small arsenal.

You can't go on about your entire hair history, I'm sorry but a stylist doesn't have that kind of time. If you are a walk-in, then unless you ask the stylist for a consultation - which is VERY important, then you will receive the same treatment (good/bad/or indifferent) as the other "normal" clients that come in the salon.

Alot of times we come in (whether intentionally or unintentionally) with an "off" attitude, and it is apparent by the body language.

There is nothing wrong with the stylist - its the same as when you go into the DMV and ask a "non-standard" question. The person at the desk gives you the wrong info, tells you to fill out the wrong form, or go stand in the wrong line, just to be told you should go back to the line of the one you originally spoke to. If we keep in mind that there is something alittle different about US, then we will be better able to communicate with salon professionals.

I can not stress this enough - do not walk into a salon, have a bad feeling before you even get in the chair and stay ANYWAY.

Do not let your FIRST appointment with a new stylist - be your retouch appoint, or a wash and blowout when you are umpteen weeks post! And then catch an attitude when she tells you "Ma you need a relaxer!"

Do not go into the salon, start using the coded language of LHCF and catch an attitude when your stylist doesn't know what in the world you are talking about.

Do not go into the salon talking about "what works for you" when you've only tried supermarket, Rite Aid, or cornerstore BSS products on sale, and your stylist uses professional grade brands. (true story for me, non lhcf member)

Do not go into the salon and let the stylist find out after the wash that your hair gets lockjaw when its wet, she washes it, then you catch an attitude when she is over the sink trying to untangle your hair for 1 hour (true story for me non lhcf member) erplexed

Do not go into the salon if you are negative about going to the salon and "all stylists" blah blah blah generalizations. No one wants to work and deal with somebody else's negativity.

Do not go to a stylist with a language barrier

Do not go to a stylist 'just' because she is the same race and you make the assumption that she will know what to do. Or the opposite of this.


Do - pick first chair stylists
Do - take first morning appointments, even if its a walk-in appt.
Do - ask for a 5 min. consultation - in the consult, ask them if they specialize in healthy hair, if not, that may be okay - move on from there by asking other questions or simply say "my hair is very fragile, I'd like to tell you how I've been taking care of my hair lately, and this is what I'd like you to do to my hair today..."

A perfect example of this is the way IDTH detailed how she wanted her hair relaxed. It was detailed, clear and I know she physically showed her what she wanted the stylist to do. Before she started, she saw that the stylist was in agreement with her wishes.

If you are doing things to your hair that may adversely affect how the results of the service will come out, you must be aware of that and inform the stylist too - example, using henna, or using permanent hair color when going in for color services.

Do not let things get out of hand and you get frustrated. Talk to her before, and during if you think things aren't going the way you think they should.

ex. I do not perform blow outs beginning with a round brush until the hair is 60% dry. I use a paddle brush. Mostly all the ladies think there is something wrong with me or that I don't know what I'm doing. I get tapped on the arm, others that walk by ask what I'm doing, etc. So I guess I'm saying - be patient.

We are just alittle different, it does not mean that we are the only ones, it just means sometimes we have to search alittle longer than the next person.

sorry so wordy.

You have made very valid points that I never considered..what is my attitude with the stylists and am I starting off on a pessimistic start? Thanks for the eye-opener!

 

[Day Dreamer]

I had the same problem. My stylist does not know anything about that mid protein step so I explained what I wanted to her and she refused to do it. I told her to do it and she said that she is gonna use the product as it states on the bottle. As I was preparing to leave the salon, she told me that I should not do it like that because it could damage my hair. I went through alot of talk before she finally gave me what i asked for. I have decided that i aboslutely have to learn how to self relax cause she will not be doing anymore. The one good thing that i can say is that she really does trim the ends only.

 

[Minty]

I had the same problem. My stylist does not know anything about that mid protein step so I explained what I wanted to her and she refused to do it. I told her to do it and she said that she is gonna use the product as it states on the bottle. As I was preparing to leave the salon, she told me that I should not do it like that because it could damage my hair. I went through alot of talk before she finally gave me what i asked for. I have decided that i aboslutely have to learn how to self relax cause she will not be doing anymore. The one good thing that i can say is that she really does trim the ends only.

Before you got to all that - I would have said "That's okay, thank you anyway" and walked out. Everybody who knows me knows once I say that....its over. I'm walking and saving my breath.

And because of that experience, you are determined to "learn" how to self-relax! Why, you should be able to get the service you want. Some people should NOT self-relax. That doesn't mean it is you, but if getting your relaxers from a stylist is what you are comfortable with, in no way should that one lady talk you out of it.

If you walked into ANY other place of business that offered a service you'd question them as to their services and capabilities - and ALWAYS, if they didn't offer what you were looking for, you'd go elsewhere. Why are salons/stylists any different. We have got to change our mindset on this issue, because ALOT of women are suffering. There are LHCF women who come here and get all sorts of information, feel fully equipped and educated, and go out into the real world. Watching a few youtube videos, crawling through a few old threads and purchasing a plethora of products do not supplant the reality that mastering haircare requires time, skill, practice, technique, tools, and imagination.


I remember long ago going to a salon after messing up my relaxer and being truly ashamed to have her look at my hair with that look on her face "what 'da h*ll" because I'd underprocessed my hair. She relaxed the entire length of the strand and then had to cut 1 1/2 inches of "raggedyness."

She was excellent. In fact, I've had lots of truly excellent stylists over the years. But as always, I'd end up severing the relationship with them because they began loosing respect for my unwillingness to be viewed by men without my hijab while in the salon. They start off saying they can respect that wish, but then they become forgetful - and I move on.