Celibacy... when do you tell him?

[Whimsy]

So, you're starting to date a new guy... how soon into your 'courtship' do you tell the dude that you're celibate?

(no this is not me)

 

[aja1121]

As soon as he alludes to intimacy, depending on the guy it could be........1st day, 2nd month

 

[NaturallyGraceful]

As soon as the conversation goes "there" or his hand tries to go "there"-whichever comes first.

 

[Farida]

As soon as the conversation goes "there" or his hand tries to go "there"-whichever comes first.

I would say not on the first date, maybe the third or fourth. I wouldn't encourage waiting for the hand to go there...it may feel so good that the conversation is lost.

 

[Ramya]

I mention early on, probably the 2nd date so that if it's something they can't handle they can keep it moving and nobody gets hurt.

 

[chellero]

Never. Just keep telling him that your "friend is visiting".







Seriously - When he brings it up.

 

[DMJ's Mom]

personally its always been my thing to tell anything that may make a man want to keep it moving ASAP usually on the first date so I'm not wasting my time going out with him

 

[Divine Inspiration]

As soon as reasonably possible. Definitely not on the first day, but hopefully before any kind of physical contact (kissing/touching) happens. It usually comes up in a relaxed & casual way without any awkward moments, but I have been known to bring it up if I felt like we were getting in too deep (feelings) without having that talk. Like a PP mentioned, I like to put it out there so he doesn't have any expectations and so that we can amicably part ways if he can't handle it.

 

[locabouthair]

As soon as the conversation goes "there" or his hand tries to go "there"-whichever comes first.

I agree with this.

 

[Lindy]

Wow, this almost makes me want to do my own experiment and tell all my dates that I'm celibate... I can only imagine how fast they would suddenly disappear!! The next time I have a date that I'm not really digging and want to get rid of ASAP, I'm going to try it... With my luck it will probably backfire on me and they'll look at it as a challenge and try to get me to change my mind!!

 

[Everything Zen]

Before we get involved in the first place. That way neither of us is wasting time.

 

[sky_blu]

As soon as he alludes to intimacy, depending on the guy it could be........1st day, 2nd month

Exactly! .

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Exactly! .

You are looking fly in the avatar, chica! Nice cut!

 

[Paris Belle]

I say whenever sex or intimacy comes up. Some men are bold and will ask you straight out on the first date, others will wait.

I don't think it scares guys off, well at least not a good one, so you shouldn't be afraid. Good luck.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Right before we contemplate becoming exclusive. This way I can weed them out REAL quick. If they seem uncomfortable...I say... "Well it's been fun, but we're looking for different things right now. Keep in Touch!"

 

[DrGucciGal]

Wow, this almost makes me want to do my own experiment and tell all my dates that I'm celibate... I can only imagine how fast they would suddenly disappear!! The next time I have a date that I'm not really digging and want to get rid of ASAP, I'm going to try it... With my luck it will probably backfire on me and they'll look at it as a challenge and try to get me to change my mind!!

Let me tell you, from personal experience...Quicker than the blink of an eye. Don't think about using the A word (abstinent) or C word (celibant) and then getting up and going to the restroom, cause his *** might be gone when you get back! I have told some of my date on the first date and they were like, "good for you, if ever change your mind, then give me a call"

I have done a good deal of internet/online dating. The celibacy thing can come up even before the first date! So if his head is there...and it usually is, then it is never to early to bring it up. Saves your time and his.

 

[Lov3lyHair]

When I was celibate I told the guys during our first or second conversation. I wanted to let them know upfront so we wouldn't waste each other time.

 

[Mena]

bumping......

 

[ChanelNo5]

What made you guys want to go celibate, and how have you benefited from it?

I know it's a personal question, I'm only asking because I am strongly considering this.

Feel free to give me the short answer.

 

[chicacanella]

bump......................................

 

[sr24]

I would tell him as soon as the subject comes up or before that your choice...men are usually very upfront about that anyway so you shouldnt have any problems

 

[divya]

As soon as the conversion seems to move in the direction of intimacy. If you feel a bit too much time has gone by, then just be up front and tell him.

 

[sky_blu]

You are looking fly in the avatar, chica! Nice cut!

Thanks! I just saw this but I know what picture you were talking about Thanks!