Caucasian mom Adopts little Girl relaxes hair at three!

[sterry]

Ladies,

I had the opportunity to meet a young mother who with her spouse adopted three little girls of different nationalities.

The little girl from Kenya is adorable. Only three years of age. I had noticed lot of breakage around the young girls hair and the discoloration on the ends of her hair.

I was aquainted with the young women so I asked about her daughter's hair. She told me that she put a child's relaxer in her hair. That she first got someone to help her with it and now she does it herself about every three months.
It is obvious that the child's hair was damaged. I suggested that she slowly cut the relaxer out and allow her daughter to wear her hair naturally. I gave her suggestion of how I keep my natural hair and products to use.
The little girls hair was extremely dry and spongey. Her edges were almost gone. I worn her of the potential dangers of permanant hair lost from relaxers if they were not applied properly or taken care of properly.
The mother responded by asking me more question. She says she really wants to know how to take care of her hair.
Though the mother appeared to be receptive do you think my conversation was out of place?

 

[Cichelle]

I think it is great that you spoke to her about this. How else will she get educated on the topic if people are afraid to help her out? She might have actually been relieved that you started the conversation. The relaxer in that young girl's hair really makes me sad. I hope she will take your advice.

 

[czyfaith77]

No, not at all! I know a lady who did likewise to her daughter who wasn't even two yet and she is black. The girl hair is really does look like it belongs on somebody's plate for real though. Her mother said she did it because she could not comb through it. I told her she should use a really good detangler and a good moisturising shampoo and conditioner and that she should definitely stop using the relaxer. Now I understand why her hair (the mother) looks like it does too. These are perfect examples of why we (and others in some cases) need to be educated on how to do our hair. I really appreciate this site and others like it.

 

[MeccaMedinah]

Ladies,

I had the opportunity to meet a young mother who with her spouse adopted three little girls of different nationalities.

The little girl from Kenya is adorable. Only three years of age. I had noticed lot of breakage around the young girls hair and the discoloration on the ends of her hair.

I was aquainted with the young women so I asked about her daughter's hair. She told me that she put a child's relaxer in her hair. That she first got someone to help her with it and now she does it herself about every three months.
It is obvious that the child's hair was damaged. I suggested that she slowly cut the relaxer out and allow her daughter to wear her hair naturally. I gave her suggestion of how I keep my natural hair and products to use.
The little girls hair was extremely dry and spongey. Her edges were almost gone. I worn her of the potential dangers of permanant hair lost from relaxers if they were not applied properly or taken care of properly.
The mother responded by asking me more question. She says she really wants to know how to take care of her hair.
Though the mother appeared to be receptive do you think my conversation was out of place?

It wasn't out of place at all.

 

[SherryLove]

these women need to be kicked in their butts for doing this and then educated...lol....just kidding.. i am glad you had the opportunity to speak with this woman. and i hope the damage is not irreversible to that baby's scalp....

 

[sterry]

Thanks you ladies,

I hopes she takes my advise as well.
This little girl is beautiful and would look lovely with a short natural style to start with.
She really needs that relaxer removed. She really had me sad when she told me that everytime she relaxed it she ran the chemical through all the hair.
She was told that the relaxer would make the hair easier to maintain. Pretty soon she won't have anything left.

 

[webby]

Sterry, I think you did the right thing. The woman was probably a little overwhelmed by having to handle hair that she had no experience with.

 

[Allandra]

Though the mother appeared to be receptive do you think my conversation was out of place?

I don't think your conversation was out of place. I'm glad you spoke with her about her daughter's hair.

 

[mahoganee]

I don't think it was out of place at all. I've had white women ask me about hair care because they have either adopted a black child or their child is mixed. There was a white couple who'd adopted or fostered three black children at the barber shop where my son gets his hair cut and the mom asked the barbers about taking care of the little boys hair. A lot of them are happy to get the information because they have no clue.

 

[rosie]

A lot of them are happy to get the information because they have no clue.

So what excuse do black women who do the same thing to their kid's heads have?


No, you were not at all out of place. And since she was receptive, it seems that she wanted someone to help her.

She said that someone esle was doing the child' head, so she probably got some bad information from a black lady who thinks it's okay to relax a baby's head.

Go to any daycare with black children, and you will see the relaxed hair on at least one chile who is about 2 or 3. If that is where she got her first bit of information, then you were a true blessing to her.

Good information from good people.

 

[MomofThreeBoys]

Interesting......

http://transracial.adoption.com/interracial/hair-is-an-adoption-issue.html

 

[sugaplum]

This ish really pisses me off. And I don't think you were out of place at all for saying what you said.

This doesn't shock me though. I remember when I was in the beauty salon a mother and daughter (about 8) came in. When me & my mother saw the were like The little girls head was short, dry, damaged, and balding. I felt so sorry for the little girl. The mother went on to say that she gave her daughter a perm!!!

But when is a good age to give a child a perm?

 

[IrisDaVirus]

Ladies,

I had the opportunity to meet a young mother who with her spouse adopted three little girls of different nationalities.

The little girl from Kenya is adorable. Only three years of age. I had noticed lot of breakage around the young girls hair and the discoloration on the ends of her hair.

I was aquainted with the young women so I asked about her daughter's hair. She told me that she put a child's relaxer in her hair. That she first got someone to help her with it and now she does it herself about every three months.
It is obvious that the child's hair was damaged. I suggested that she slowly cut the relaxer out and allow her daughter to wear her hair naturally. I gave her suggestion of how I keep my natural hair and products to use.
The little girls hair was extremely dry and spongey. Her edges were almost gone. I worn her of the potential dangers of permanant hair lost from relaxers if they were not applied properly or taken care of properly.
The mother responded by asking me more question. She says she really wants to know how to take care of her hair
Though the mother appeared to be receptive do you think my conversation was out of place?

I applaud you for giving her the advice you gave her. I hope she puts it to good use for the sake of that little girl's hair.

Sadly, I'm seeing a lot of young girls age three and under getting kiddie relaxers now. Truth be told I know a few who had their first relaxers before their first birthday! My friend's ex-girlfriend relaxed both of her daughters before their first birthdays. They are twelve and eight now and their hair and scalps are in such pitiful shape. Yet she continues to relax their hair every four weeks.

 

[lovechic]

Sterry, I think you did the right thing. The woman was probably a little overwhelmed by having to handle hair that she had no experience with.

DITTO!!! YOU WERE ONLY TRYING TO HELP!!! THE BABY'S HAIR WILL THANK YOU! lol!!!

 

[lovechic]

Interesting......

http://transracial.adoption.com/interracial/hair-is-an-adoption-issue.html

DID ANYONE NOTICE IN THE PARAGRAPH ABOUT WASHING IT SAID WATER WAS A DRYING AGENT! NOW EVERYONE HERE KNOWS THAT IS NOT TRUE!

 

[LDebagoria]

It's excellent that you told her! How else would she know?

 

[czyfaith77]

So what excuse do black women who do the same thing to their kid's heads have?


No, you were not at all out of place. And since she was receptive, it seems that she wanted someone to help her.

She said that someone esle was doing the child' head, so she probably got some bad information from a black lady who thinks it's okay to relax a baby's head.

Go to any daycare with black children, and you will see the relaxed hair on at least one chile who is about 2 or 3. If that is where she got her first bit of information, then you were a true blessing to her.

Good information from good people.

You are absolutely right. I own a day care and the child I describe attends. I hate to see it and nothing hurts me and burn me up more than to see a baby with bald edges.

 

[Country gal]

Did you direct her to us here? She needs to become a member at least for the next 15 years.

 

[auntybe]

It's great that you took the time to tell her a lot of people would have just not said anything to her.

 

[Cichelle]

DID ANYONE NOTICE IN THE PARAGRAPH ABOUT WASHING IT SAID WATER WAS A DRYING AGENT! NOW EVERYONE HERE KNOWS THAT IS NOT TRUE!

Yup, I noticed that. At least it says this, as well:
"The ideas we offer here are common but are not universally held within the African American community."

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I see white women with biracial kids frequently. Some have type 4 hair that is just all over the place. Others have the type 3 that is a bit more manageable. I always want to say something to them, but would rather they just ask me about my hair, since it's natural. I think you did the right thing by encouraging her to step back from the relaxer!

 

[sterry]

I believe that the information and help she received was from someone none ethnic. She said someone from church helped her and I questioned her about which church she attended.
Rest assure the only thing black there are the their shoes!

Anyway when my girls have gymnastics next week, which is were I met her I will see if she took my advice.
I will love to offer her my services ..........or should I say LHCF.

 

[RainbowCurls]

I don't think it was out of place.
The fact that the mother was receptive to your advice is a good sign, hopefully she'll take it on board...

 

[Country gal]

Keep us posted. I see a lot of biracial kids too with messed up hair. I want to tell their mother that she may be half white but the hair is telling a different story. Can I offer you some advice?