Casual dating for life

[BroadstreetBully]

Is it possible and can anyone ever be happy with this? Say you have a man or woman who decides that they want to spend their life seeing the world without being tied down to one place. As a result, they figure that they can enjoy dating and short term relationships with people wherever they go without forming a long term commitment because they know they'll be leaving in a matter of time. I wonder if this ever works?

That's just one scenario, but I'm sure there are people living in one place who just don't desire long term commitment but enjoy having short term relationships with people. Do you know anyone like this or are you like this? Do these people seem happy?

 

[Bunny77]

I thought about it for a minute when it seemed like my life was headed in that direction (my five years here in my current city is the longest period of time I've lived in one place since I turned 18, so I'm definitely a "wanderer.")

However, I realized it wasn't my thing... but I'm sure for some people who are true free spirits, it could definitely work.

 

[FlowerHair]

My sister is like this, and has in reality been like this all her life. She was married for over 10 years but confided in me that she has never been faithful in any of her relationships, ever.

She has decided to just have casual relationships for a long time, possibly the rest of her life because she just doesn't want the man once she gets him erplexed
She just wants to see if she can get him, then she loses interest. A few have managed to keep her interested for a few years at the most.

I think it's a good decision, both for her (she can have the variety she wants and doesn't have to be faithful) and for the men in her life (she doesn't promise anything so they won't be surprised when she dumps them and moves on to someone else).

Is she happy? I don't think she's happy in her heart of hearts, but there's nothing I can do...

 

[tiara76]

Is it possible and can anyone ever be happy with this? Say you have a man or woman who decides that they want to spend their life seeing the world without being tied down to one place. As a result, they figure that they can enjoy dating and short term relationships with people wherever they go without forming a long term commitment because they know they'll be leaving in a matter of time. I wonder if this ever works?

That's just one scenario, but I'm sure there are people living in one place who just don't desire long term commitment but enjoy having short term relationships with people. Do you know anyone like this or are you like this? Do these people seem happy?

for me really casual relationships are alright....however I like connections with people..the thing that I had to balance out was that i would connect with people, enjoy the connections but know that they weren't going to be long term..however I feel the relationships were important and needed for both of us...lots of growth and learning of self from these....in my early days or relationships i would play into the "committed" girlfriend part but I wasn't her....and that was all wrong for everybody involved...by 25 or 26 i was more honest about my feelings...I would want to be with somebody and enjoy their company but I knew it wasn't for long term commitment or marriage and that I like "openess".......I do feel that if one is going to get into a long term commitment that they know its somebody they want to marry or be with like that...I dont think every relationship is meant to be long term and there can be deep feelings, love and all that good stuff without out it being the ultimate relationship and we can get caught up trying to force a relationship into something it isn't instead of letting it be what it is to serve the people involved (even the "bad" ones).....I just met the guy I instantly felt was the one i would marry right off bat, up until him I met other guys i connected with, love/still love but always knew that i didn't want to marry them but I have grown extremely fast in myself by going through these relationships and so have they so they weren't meaningless, wasted time or anything else.....blessings and preparations for becoming more loving imo....

seasons, reasons or lifetime connections

they all make a big difference and all serve as opportunities for self evolution

so for me its not about casual relationships at all... but relationships with depth to them but not necessarily the "marriage" relationship

 

[Ramya]

My sister is like this, and has in reality been like this all her life. She was married for over 10 years but confided in me that she has never been faithful in any of her relationships, ever.

She has decided to just have casual relationships for a long time, possibly the rest of her life because she just doesn't want the man once she gets him erplexed
She just wants to see if she can get him, then she loses interest. A few have managed to keep her interested for a few years at the most.

I think it's a good decision, both for her (she can have the variety she wants and doesn't have to be faithful) and for the men in her life (she doesn't promise anything so they won't be surprised when she dumps them and moves on to someone else).

Is she happy? I don't think she's happy in her heart of hearts, but there's nothing I can do...

OMG the bold is me. I haven't quite figured it out but no man has been able to keep my interest longer than a few months (if that). I've dated some awesome men whose company I really did enjoy (at one time) but I'm never satisfied.

See I get what I want in the sense that I decide for whatever reason that I want his particular guy. And I get him and then get bored.

If I weren't so traditional (and could have sex), i probably wouldn't desire marriage. I honestly don't think I do but I can't do what I want because of my belief system.

I mean a string of short relationships is more exciting to me than a long relationship with the same guy. Maybe I haven't met the right guy yet. erplexed I mean what am I supposed to do?

 

[MizAvalon]

George Clooney seems to do this. His relationships last about a year and then they are over. Is he happy? IDK.

 

[aribell]

I honestly have difficulty imagining really settling down and staying in one place for the next 20 years. I always thought military brats were lucky. As far as dating goes, I can understand the mentality. If I had a different set of values, I'd likely end up doing exactly that. I think I definitely have the personality for it--it's just that actually falling in love with someone changes everything. I would think that a lifetime casual dater never came across someone that they loved enough to want to be with forever.

 

[Renovating]

Unpopular opinion but it is MHO:

I think casual dating for LIFE is a a sign of dysfunction and instability. Casual dating for a period of time is one thing, but for life .

 

[FlowerHair]

OMG the bold is me. I haven't quite figured it out but no man has been able to keep my interest longer than a few months (if that). I've dated some awesome men whose company I really did enjoy (at one time) but I'm never satisfied.

See I get what I want in the sense that I decide for whatever reason that I want his particular guy. And I get him and then get bored.

If I weren't so traditional (and could have sex), i probably wouldn't desire marriage. I honestly don't think I do but I can't do what I want because of my belief system.

I mean a string of short relationships is more exciting to me than a long relationship with the same guy. Maybe I haven't met the right guy yet. erplexed I mean what am I supposed to do?

Good for you that you realize this at a young age.
My sister is 42 and just realized a few years ago that she is not the long term relationship kind of woman.

I don't know what can be done, but sometimes it's just about not having met the right man, sometimes it takes a little soul searching. There are so many people that are in love with the feeling of being in love...

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Unpopular opinion but it is MHO:

I think casual dating for LIFE is a a sign of dysfunction and instability. Casual dating for a period of time is one thing, but for life .

You make an interesting point and it seems like that, especially considering the type of people who usually engage in this type of lifestyle (casual dating for life).

I do think that for every thousand or so lifetime casual daters, there is one who is totally stable and in control of themselves, but just enjoys forming relationships with a variety of people. Fairy tale together forever isn't for everyone, and those type of relationships are a lot of work and come with many battles. For some people, it's just not worth the effort.