Carolyn Gray\'s tips (VERY LONG)
Also, I got these from her newsletters, which she sent to me. They are large files because it contains a lot of graphics.
Warning: LONG!!
Hair Shedding or Breakage
First, a certain amount of shedding is normal – my hair sheds quite a bit, but everyone's hair is different However, most people experience shedding (you see full strands of hair that have fallen out), but some also experience breakage (you see broken strands of hair in your comb or brush or on the floor). Like I said a certain amount of shedding is fine, but breakage is more of a symptom of how hair is treated on a daily or week-in-week-out basis. So, with that said, if you think you have more shedding than can be considered normal or excessive breakage, there are a number of areas you will want to look at within your own personal hair care regimen:
1) Are you going to a licensed stylist that you really trust to put in your
relaxers? The reason I ask is because damage can be done if a relaxer is too strong or if touch-ups are done too frequently or if the chemical is placed on already relaxed hair (overlapping). Does she put you under the dryer with a deep conditioner each time your touch-up is done? Also does she set your hair most of the time instead of blow drying and hot curling? If not, this can cause shedding and breakage. However, if your stylist is good and you trust her, stick with her -- do not put your own relaxers in, you will only make the problem worse. Leave the chemicals to trained professionals.
2) Are you shampooing your hair regularly (e.g. once a week, or whatever works for you) with products designed for black hair? You mentioned some of the ones I recommend in the book, like Motions and Aphogee -- keep using those, or you can also try Doo Gro Moisturizing Growth Shampoo.
3) Do you follow your shampoo with a deep conditioner (sitting under a dryer/heating cap at least 15 minutes with the conditioner on your hair) at least 3 to four times a month? This is especially important if you regularly use heat appliances on your hair. Also, are you following this treatment with good leave-in conditioners like the ones mentioned in the book? Some of those help to minimize dryness and brittleness, which can help alleviate breakage and shedding.
4) Also, how are you drying your hair after you shampoo? You should not be blow drying more than once a month, if possible. My book recommends ways for air drying your hair naturally. This is what I do, week-in-and-week-out.
5) Are you using a curling iron, flat iron, or electric curlers more than twice a week? If so, you are literally burning your already damaged hair (I call it "damaged" because for us to get straight hair when God gave us kinky hair, we have to change its molecular structure, thereby damaging it) to a crisp. In my book, I give a few alternatives to regular heat styling. One way is a steam hairsetter, which is what I have used for over 8 years when I want curls. This appliance adds moisture to hair instead of drying it out, like curling irons. I also periodically do twist/plait sets.
6) At night are you sleeping in a silk/satin cap? You would not believe how drying regular pillow cases are on hair, which also may cause unnecessary
shedding/breakage.
7) Do you comb your hair from root to end more than 2-3 times a week? Do you brush your hair from root to ends to detangle it? If so, stop it -- this is one of the biggest causes of breakage and shedding. My book talks about this in detail. Try to detangle and style your hair using your fingers as much as possible. When combing, start from the ends working your way up.
Also, I use brushes that black men typically use to smooth out styles, but I
never brush my hair to detangle it. If you want to massage or stimulate the
scalp, use your fingers!
8) Finally, are you oiling your scalp at least once a week? If not, you should be. I use Wild Growth hair oil.
Hopefully, this helps. More information is in the book, if you have not already purchased it.
Natural/Relaxed Hair Care Regimen
Depending on the condition of the hair, you can try one or more of these conditioners throughout the month as suggested in the book.
After natural hair is hydrated and deep-conditioned, just as with relaxed hair, there is a need for added protection from blow dryers, hot combs, combing/brushing, etc. To get this added protection, the book recommends leave-in treatments be used after shampooing and conditioning. The book recommends a number of products – some are best for relaxed hair, while others are better for natural hair. However, most of them work well for both types of hair.
Once the hair is hydrated, conditioned and protected, this is where the sisters with relaxed and natural hair usually go their separate ways, and the book accounts for that as well. In terms of drying and styling the hair, the book addresses a number of different ways our hair can be cared for – set or air-dried straight for relaxed hair, or blow-dried and braid/twist set for natural or relaxed hair.
The leave-in treatments recommended are often based on how the hair will be dried. The book then also recommends products for caring for the hair once it is dry – say if you plan to press/curl natural hair or if you plan to braid/plait the hair instead. Because my hair is relaxed, and I am sharing the regimen I follow, some of the shampoos recommended may appear to be best suited for relaxed hair. However, most of the products I recommend address a multitude of hair issues that can occur in relaxed or natural hair. I was even surprised to find that most of the shampoos I recommend work well on my husband’s hair (natural). In fact, I hide the most expensive ones and let him use Motions, which he really likes.
Be that as it may, I do realize that some women/girls with natural hair often don’t need the heavy duty conditioning that sisters with relaxed hair do. As a result, there is a section in the book for alternative/substitute product recommendations that allow you to pick a shampoo that might be gentler (e.g., Creme of Nature). At the end of each week's regimen, there is a worksheet in the book for you to list the products that you decide to use (e.g., shampoos, conditioners and leave-ins).
If you should decide to follow the regimen for you and/or your daughters, you can select from the list of products recommended in the book or try some of the newer products mentioned under the Helpful Updates & Information link on my website,
www.blackwomansguide.com. Under that link, I just added the names of a wonderful shampoo and conditioner I tried by KeraCare, which my cousin recommended and uses on her daughter's natural hair with great success. KeraCare’s shampoo was a little pricey, but it was well worth it, and a little goes a long way. However, as I said before, you may also substitute the products of your choice into the regimen. It is also worthwhile to note that rotating shampoos is optional in the regimen – you may use the same shampoo and conditioners week-in and week- out, if you choose, but the basic framework of the regimen can be followed.
Finally, in terms of daily and weekly care for natural hair, my book does offer tips on maintaining natural styles. As an example, spraying the hair at night with a little of Fantasia’s Night-time Oil treatment along with the use of a satin cap can help maintain natural styles just as it does with relaxed styles – the cap can save natural hair from the drying effects of pillow cases. Also, the product that I recommend for oiling the scalp in the book works wonderfully for relaxed or natural hair – braided, pressed or whatever you choose to do.
So I said all of this to say, that I appreciate the fact that we, as black women, beautifully sport a myriad of styles. However, regardless of how we decide to wear it, we all need some type of hair care regimen to make sure that we are taking care of our hair, and my 6-week regimen can be that regimen for hair of all types!
No Weaves But Your Hair
So what’s a sister to do?
1) Make sure that you wear just “your own hair” at least 75% of the time.
2) Treat “your” hair to a weekly shampooing & conditioning regimen.
3) Go easy on the curling irons, electric curlers and blow dryers (my book recommends a healthier alternative to curling irons and has a great air drying method that I use to dry my hair straight without a blow dryer).
4) Take care of your scalp (massage and oil it at least once a week).
5) Limit combing/brushing by using your fingers to detangle as much as possible, and only use wide tooth combs and soft brushes.
6) Avoid products that make your hair hard.
7) Find a reputable stylist that you trust to apply chemicals (e.g., relaxers and colors) and add hair.
8) Never use bonding glues on your hair the few times you choose to add hair to
your own, and make sure you continue to take care of “your” hair when you wear
weaves, wigs and extensions.
The lesson I have learned, and want us all to learn, is that weaves/extensions/wigs may be nice, but the hair God gave us, when it is healthy, is so much better!
To Trim or Not To Trim
After careful research and experimentation, if you don’t have split ends, there is not a set time that you have to trim your ends unless that is your personal preference. Remember: “Trimming the ends has absolutely nothing to do with hair growth!” So, if your hair is being trimmed more than you feel is necessary, you may want to discuss this with your stylist, and take a lesson from my mistakes, be completely open with your stylist about your concerns and try to work out a trim schedule that works for you. While you are doing this, you may want to also consider having your ends trimmed while your hair is dry, instead of wet (if you are not doing so already). My stylist admitted that it is harder to tell how much needs to be trimmed when the hair is wet.
If your stylist is not willing to professionally and respectfully discuss trimming with you, it may be time to move on. I personally think many stylists trim for reasons other than split ends:
1) Out of habit and/or a belief that trimming ends makes the hair grow;
2) The ends are frizzy at the time you come in (maybe due to a style such as a plait/braid set or product build-up)
3) The ends are uneven (ends don’t have to be evened all at once, it can be done gradually). The choice of when to trim is entirely up to us, but being able to go for long periods without a trim requires a commitment to take extra special care of our hair and ends (e.g., regular shampoos, deep conditioning, minimal brushing and combing, limited heat, satin cap/scarf at night and protective styles as often as you can) and open communication with your stylist!
