can relationship last if u dislike his child?

If you are capable of or willing to put on an act of liking them 24/7 then maybe...although these feelings can be sensed especially by children.

Don't think it could work. Eventually you'd explode and it wouldn't be pretty. Blood being thicker than water and all.
 
It depends, are both adults doing anything to help/resolve the situation? And why marry someone if you didn't like the child while they were dating?

Another reason I don't date men with children anymore...
 
The child is 18 and will be leaving soon but of course their is a chance she may return and no im not married but i wanted too but didnt think it will work. Its just hurtful because we have a great relationship but.... Ya. Know its just a very. sad situation because we have a 3month old and it looks like another statistics situation!
 
Have you sat down and spoken to her about what the problem is between the two of you? I mean, alone without her Father present?

What has your SO said about the situation?

She is 18 and a woman. Women can clash.
 
Bublin said:
Have you sat down and spoken to her about what the problem is between the two of you? I mean, alone without her Father present?

What has your SO said about the situation?

She is 18 and a woman. Women can clash.
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This is the truth. It can get hard for a mom to like her own girl child as she is coming into her adulthood and feeling new desires for independence. For two women who have not had all those years to bond, with the daughter maybe feeling some intrusion into her life and the older woman maybe feeling some kind of way of the large role the daughter plays in her man's life, it can be tough.

well, there's a lot in this world i don't know, so i could be wrong. but i think it could work. you two just have to work on it, and it would be easier in the future as she gets her own space where she truly gets to be an adult.
 
Maybe I'm optimistic but I think it could work. If you genuinely love the father and she does then there are no bad intentions with both of you. She may be feeling threatened or just being immature. Not saying it won't be painful but I think you would eventually work it out if you wanted to and realized that you are going to probably shoulder the most in terms of being the bigger person and letting go of the past. Hopefully he loves you enough to see that you're trying and that may make him take actions to step in and talk to her himself.
 
beebellkel said:
The child is 18 and will be leaving soon but of course their is a chance she may return and no im not married but i wanted too but didnt think it will work. Its just hurtful because we have a great relationship but.... Ya. Know its just a very. sad situation because we have a 3month old and it looks like another statistics situation!
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Okay...so we are talking about an 18 year old here. When did you enter into this man's life? Did his daughter and you ever get along? Teenagers are hard to get along with period so I don't hold it against you for disliking his daughter.

Now that you have a child by this man, his daughter is now your child's sibling. I say keep trying to form a relationship with her. She may come around as she gets older.
 
If the child was a child then I would say no...however this is an adult child (basically)...so ur interaction after she leaves should be minimal..so maybe it can work..
 
beebellkel


IF his 18 year old daughter is your only issue with the relationship AND you currently have a child with him, I'd say forgot the dumb chit and marry him.

The girl is a young woman (I wouldn't consider her an adult) and she may have her own issues that she is dealing with pertaining to you and her fathers situation. However, she is still a minor and should respect you and your relationship with her father, but it may take some time. So I'd be considerate of that and also speak with him about how you feel.

Why don't you "like" the daughter?
 
You have to remember that this girl is going to be apart of your family? Do you really want uncomfortable holidays and tense family gatherings. It doesn't make sense to me and I think it tears up the relationship
 
I don't think it is possible. You can't plan for the 18 yo to be gone, she is still there. Don't count the chickens before they hatch. She could never leave, then what? You still have to make nice with him and in a way her because you have a child with him. I wouldnt want to have any static with a person who would be around my child.

I would have never let it get this far.
 
Not for me. Especially if it's a minor. I would worry that it may be damaging for the child and I would not want that kind of damage on my conscience.

If you cannot handle a man with child/children and accept him and the kid/s as a package, then you should not be having a serious relationship with him.
 
It can last...she's a grown arse woman. I say provide any help she may need to get going and stay gone so you can enjoy your relationship....Good luck!!!
 
Maybe....depends on why you all aren't getting along, how this plays out, and willingness on your side and hers to find a way to work it out. At 18 she's still trying to figure out who she's going to be as a woman and so not set in stone that who she is today is who she will be forever.

Regardless of how you all get along though, I am a big believer in getting kids out of the house post High School if possible because harder for them to grow into being an adult when they're still living in a parents home.

Gentle nudges, financial assistance, setting her up in a dorm at college, whatever it takes to get her to move on and grow up. It really is better for her and it sounds like it would be better for you too.
 
It depends on how the father mediates the relationship between SO and child. What kind of parent is he to the daughter? What type of rules and guidelines are set in the house? How do you interact with this child and how does she respond to you?

If you dislike one another but can maintain a reasonable level of respect, then it can work - but if you two are cursing and slamming doors -or worse throwing bows, then you have a steep mountain to climb.

With that said: babies complicate things. I feel that two people should do everything possible to maintain a relationship when they have created a child together .
 
Well my stepmother hates me and I live in the house.

Her hatred of me is in no part my fault but rather her personality of becomming angry at little issues.

She has cursed and called me out my name. With any other man she would have been out and maybe physically hurt. But considering my father does not protect me to that extent she is still living in the house doing her. I just avoid her at all cost and only see her about once every three weeks.

Their relationship is not healthy because the same way she acts towards me is the same way she does him and others (including my cousin who no longer talks to her or my dad).

I give this example because I think when someone HATES or dislikes another persons child it is usually deeper than just the child. And the deeper reason is why people will break up, not the actual child themselves.

meesch said:
not if he's any kind of man, no.
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^^^ wish that was my dad :nono: :tears:
 
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cutiebe2 said:
Well my stepmother hates me and I live in the house.

Her hatred of me is in no part my fault but rather her personality of becomming angry at little issues.

She has cursed and called me out my name. With any other man she would have been out and maybe physically hurt. But considering my father does not protect me to that extent she is still living in the house doing her. I just avoid her at all cost and only see her about once every three weeks.

Their relationship is not healthy because the same way she acts towards me is the same way she does him and others (including my cousin who no longer talks to her or my dad).

I give this example because I think when someone HATES or dislikes another persons child it is usually deeper than just the child. And the deeper reason is why people will break up, not the actual child themselves.


^^^ wish that was my dad :nono: :tears:
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This is so true. :yep:
 
Since the "child" is 18, it might be able to work. Stepfamilies are never easy and there is no rule that everyone has to be bffs. You just have to be able to give each step family member respect. Adult stepchildren are often the hardest to deal with.

At 18, she is grown and should be preparing to make her own life for herself, so it can work. There still may be difficulties, but those would be much easier to work on than they would be if his child were still a minor.
 
But I feel like this child is about to become apart of your family, no matter what the age. You just can't be like "Well, she grown and I'm not gonna see her". It still causes a strain in the family
 
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