Can I please vent?

[Bublnbrnsuga]

My hair- well I've been going through some thangs with it. So much to the point that I bring out old pics of my hair when I semi-big chopped and when I was texlaxed. One part of me just wants to cut if all off again and start over and another part, a small part, wonders about a texturizer/relaxer. Another part just wants to get some weave cornrows and call it a day. I am tired of the two strands- my hair's getting longer and they just don't look as cute anymore. Braidouts? That's a no-no for my hair. As soon as I start to unbraid, my ends get all tangled. I know my hair's growing, but it just doesn't look like it especially after washing and allowing it to airdry. It still looks the same length it did a year ago when I do my shake and go's. The puff style has become my staple, mainly because when I try to do something cute to it, it comes out crazy and I have to puff it. I am tired, just tired.

 

[KhandiB]

Im sorry you are going to that.. *hug*

The only advice I could give wouldnt help.. I sowwy

 

[Cheleigh]

Vent away--that's what hair boards are here for.

If I were you, I'd slap some braids, cornrows, or a protective style in it so that it's out of the way for at least 4 weeks. Then I'd look at my short and long term hair desires. Think about what you'd do with your hair relaxed/texturized after 2-3 months, after the bloom is off the rose. What about if you did a major cut? What styles would you wear in the summer? Winter? What are other options, if any, beside permanent ones? What are other options that will achieve similar goals/satisfy desires, if any?

If you can still find more advtanages to disadvantages in the LONG TERM to relaxing/texturizing or to doing a major cut, then I'd seriously start to explore those paths. Most of the time, though, we are disliking some phase our hair is going through, or dissatisfied with some other aspect in our life, and then we make permanent hair decisions based upon short-term or instant gratification. We're fine for a month or two, and then reality sets in and we're back to being dissatsified about the hair again.

Bon chance.

 

[Carefree]

I go through this with my hair too. When I'm going through this phase I'll usually wear a rollerset/straight hairstyle for a couple of weeks just to change things up. Girl whip out the ol' maxiglide - a temporary change might help.

 

[nurseN98]

I go through this with my hair too. When I'm going through this phase I'll usually wear a rollerset/straight hairstyle for a couple of weeks just to change things up. Girl whip out the ol' maxiglide - a temporary change might help.

I agree with this, I just had a little break and now I'm refreshed. Take a breather from having to deal with it all everyday then come back to it. If you want to stay natural, maybe a severe trim will do it....I remember a member here who was about waist-length chopped back up to brastrap. She seemed happy because it was easier to deal with. I already know that's what I'm gonna do, I'm not trying for butt length natural hair, my plan had been for waist length but even that I'm not sure off. Don't stress though, just take a break

 

[hopeful]

What do you want from your hair? Do you want length and health? Do you want length that shows all of the time? Do you want to be able to wear it straight most of the time? What exactly is going on? Do you like your hair texture? Do you like being natural? What style do you feel most attractive wearing? The puff? The wash and go? The maxiglide style? Why are you considering relaxing? Is it so you can wear it straight and it not revert? I think if you really ask yourself: what it is that you want from your hair and then ask what exactly are the possibilities and limits of your hair, then you could make a decision. Maybe you want something that neither relaxed or natural hair can give you and can only come from a wig or weave? Would you be happy with short hair again? What would cutting it do for you? Easier styling, a new look? I don't know I just think you need to ask yourself some questions and answer them honestly so that you can make peace with your hair.

Sorry if too many questions. I know when I bc'd last year I was very frustrated with the things I could not do with my hair, namely a wash-n-go because of my uneven shrinkage. This time I'm like okay let the wash-n-go idea go. Just let it go and focus on what my hair CAN do which is a lot. I've also come to the conclusion that so much of society still does not reward us for being natural, even if no one says anything, I think sometimes we can FEEL that our natural beauty is not as appreciated as say somebody else's, like someone like Traci Ross who APPEARS to have the perfect wash-n-go to some or Ashanti when her hair (real and fake) is slicked back perfectly (lol not a fuzz in sight) and her ponytail swings and flows down her back. Sometimes we care more about the outer influences than we realize and that affects us too and we forget why WE do what WE do to OUR hair and WE like it just the way it is.

I'm just saying sometimes there is more going on than we realize. I wish you the best.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

You're going thru a hard time so vent away. Your album has always been an inspiration to me, even tho I can't do any of the styles you got in there.:notworthy I really hope you find the answers you're looking for. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

 

[remnant]

I go through this with my hair too. When I'm going through this phase I'll usually wear a rollerset/straight hairstyle for a couple of weeks just to change things up. Girl whip out the ol' maxiglide - a temporary change might help.

I agree with Carefree, may be you need to do straight styles for a moment since it's still growing! Have fun with your hair ,buy hair accessories and cute earrings, and new make up stuff, may be you need to change and see yourself in another beautiful way! Springs is here summer is coming! Have fun and enjoy your beautiful long hair in a different way!

 

[sareca]

Of course you can vent. Everybody gets frustrated with their hair every now and again. Natural hair frustrated me too, but relaxed/texturized hair isn't easy street. I agree with whoever recommended straightening it for a minute. Get a nice straight press and flip it around for awhile.

 

[Country gal]

You are my numero uno hair idol!!! We all go through ups and downs. I think your hair is beautiful.

 

[Plenty]

My hair- well I've been going through some thangs with it. So much to the point that I bring out old pics of my hair when I semi-big chopped and when I was texlaxed. One part of me just wants to cut if all off again and start over and another part, a small part, wonders about a texturizer/relaxer. Another part just wants to get some weave cornrows and call it a day. I am tired of the two strands- my hair's getting longer and they just don't look as cute anymore. Braidouts? That's a no-no for my hair. As soon as I start to unbraid, my ends get all tangled. I know my hair's growing, but it just doesn't look like it especially after washing and allowing it to airdry. It still looks the same length it did a year ago when I do my shake and go's. The puff style has become my staple, mainly because when I try to do something cute to it, it comes out crazy and I have to puff it. I am tired, just tired.

You don't seem happy. I would just relax. You have our support. You know how to take of a relaxer now and won't run into the same promblems you did before. Go for it. I only say this because it doesn't seem like the natural styles is in "your heart," and it seems like your shuggling with something you "should do" instead of what you may be passionate about. Are you passionate about the way your hair is going now?

 

[qtgirl]

In what she says, where does it seem like that?

Bub. I say wait a lil while and think on it. If you do relax and don't like it anymore, you will have to transition and cut off your relaxed hair all over again. I'd say get a trim, braid your hair up for a while and then think it over again before you make a decision to go back to relaxing or texturizing.

HTH

You don't seem happy. I would just relax. You have our support. You know how to take of a relaxer now and won't run into the same promblems you did before. Go for it. I only say this because it doesn't seem like the natural styles is in "your heart," and it seems like your shuggling with something you "should do" instead of what you may be passionate about. Are you passionate about the way your hair is going now?

 

[dlewis]

I love your hair, I have often visited your album, maybe a change in style will make you feel better.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I would probably get my hair braided for awhile, a hard press and pin curl it at night to keep the style for awhile, you can also try a rollerset/wrap. But remember awhile back you didn't know what to do, and decided to go get a maxiglide, and you were happy , so don't jump into something so quickly you may not be ready for. But then again if this continues to pop up every few months maybe deep down inside you want to relax, if so it's not a crime and I don't see why you can't.

 

[naptrl]

Bubblin!! I was JUST looking at your two strands so that I can get my hair like that!! Your hair is beautiful. Just wear some braids or something to get your hair off your mind for a little while. Shoot girl, I'm trying to be like YOU!!

 

[S-A]

Ive been through the exact same thing recently so I feel your frustration.
I was just getting fed up with my hair, but for me personally I knew that if I relaxed I would miss my 'fro so Ive just started doing braidouts for a little while till I get some braids and reassess things. I agree with the other ladies, whip out the maxiglide, get some braids or canerows to give you a break and allow you space to breathe and decide what you really want to do rather than what your current impulse is saying.

 

[so1913]

You don't seem happy. I would just relax. You have our support. You know how to take of a relaxer now and won't run into the same promblems you did before. Go for it. I only say this because it doesn't seem like the natural styles is in "your heart," and it seems like your shuggling with something you "should do" instead of what you may be passionate about. Are you passionate about the way your hair is going now?

Wow...that's quite an assumption to make based simply on what she posted.

I think we ALL get frustrated with our hair sometimes, relaxed, natural, texturized, whatever, where at that exact moment in time, we wish we had something OTHER than what is on our heads, lol. It can be that we just need something "new", a new style, change. Like many of the other ladies have said throughout the thread, I'd suggest trying out TEMPORARY changes FIRST before jumping into anything PERMANENT...it will give you time to try various options, yet not commit to anything (the beauty of natural hair) and give you time to think through what you really want to do with your hair as opposed to instantly acting on frustrated emotions. If in the end if you decide that a permanent change is in fact what you want, then, you should take that step should you come to that conclusion.

I'd hate for you to make a permanent change in reaction to what could be a temporary problem, so I would try some of the other options first.

 

[michc]

Bubblin' - girl you KNOW how much you helped me with your pm's when I was going through the same thing with my hair. The thing is the frustration will always come. Only this week I bought a relaxer kit and was so close to putting it in my hair. You know what stopped me? - 2 things: firstly relaxing my hair can't have been all that otherwise I wouldn't have gone natural, secondly: my three hair idols on this board - YOU, Carefree and my newest Testimony777.


BUT having said that, there is nothing wrong in your trying out relaxing/texlaxing/texturising again. You have to do what is right and manageable for YOU. Your hair grows like a weed (you know it's true ), so if you want to go back to being natural at least you've done it before and you'll know exactly what to do again. Just don't let the decision stress you - either way you will have support (and advice if and when you need it) from this board.

Mich x

 

[Plenty]

In what she says, where does it seem like that?

Bub. I say wait a lil while and think on it. If you do relax and don't like it anymore, you will have to transition and cut off your relaxed hair all over again. I'd say get a trim, braid your hair up for a while and then think it over again before you make a decision to go back to relaxing or texturizing.

HTH

I am tired of the two strands- my hair's getting longer and they just don't look as cute anymore. Braidouts? That's a no-no for my hair.

 

[Plenty]

Wow...that's quite an assumption to make based simply on what she posted.

I think we ALL get frustrated with our hair sometimes, relaxed, natural, texturized, whatever, where at that exact moment in time, we wish we had something OTHER than what is on our heads, lol. It can be that we just need something "new", a new style, change. Like many of the other ladies have said throughout the thread, I'd suggest trying out TEMPORARY changes FIRST before jumping into anything PERMANENT...it will give you time to try various options, yet not commit to anything (the beauty of natural hair) and give you time to think through what you really want to do with your hair as opposed to instantly acting on frustrated emotions. If in the end if you decide that a permanent change is in fact what you want, then, you should take that step should you come to that conclusion.

I'd hate for you to make a permanent change in reaction to what could be a temporary problem, so I would try some of the other options first.

What assuptions?! It-says-it-right-here! I am tired of the two strands- my hair's getting longer and they just don't look as cute anymore. Braidouts? That's a no-no for my hair.

Did you read the whole paragraph?

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

Hi ladies! This is what I decided to do:
1. Do smaller two strands on dry hair for a change. This will take me about 2+ hours, time I have never committed to for natural hair.
2. Get cornrows monthly. I know someone who can hook them up for the low-low!
3. Blow dry my hair on medium once a month and style from there.
4. Whip out the maxiglide again. After my wedding hair disaster, I decided to retire my Maxi, but now I am realizing it was a mixture of being in Jamaica's warm climate and staying right on the beach that caused my hair to swell something bad.

 

[CharUK]

I'm glad you've reached a conclusion! You have been an inspiration to me for a long time.

I feel pathetic because I've only twisted my hair twice and was totally fed up last night cos it took me twice as long as the first time, so I was dreading doing it again after this batch!

Good luck to you.

 

[so1913]

What assuptions?! It-says-it-right-here! I am tired of the two strands- my hair's getting longer and they just don't look as cute anymore. Braidouts? That's a no-no for my hair.

Did you read the whole paragraph?

Sounds to me like she's tired of those styles

Bubbln, have fun with your new do's! Hope the change does good for your spirits!