called "NAPPY HEADED & KINKY" by employers ..... any options?

[Nonie]

grooming or styling hair doesnt change the fact that most natural hair is tightly curled, so whether hair is neat or unkempt, it would still be nappy, right? if nappy describes texture, and the texture is still tightly curled and/or nappy, whether unkempt or styled neatly, then when used as a pejorative, nappy would still mean the same thing, and carry the same negative connotation, regardless of if it's combed and styled or unkempt because according to you, it describes texture...which means the word still has basis in this day and age because whether unkempt or not, the texture is the same thats being described by the word. meaning will always be applied to the word as long as its used negatively in regards to natural hair. if no one in the world used nappy to mean unkempt or just as a general adjective describing the texture of our natural hair (whether unkempt or groomed), then it wouldnt matter, and the word nappy would strictly mean tightly curled, and nothing else, so that when some says my hair is nappy, i wouldnt have to wonder if they meant unkempt or ugly or anything else negative...but that isn't the case.

Why do you assume it is the tightly curled texture that carries a negative connotation? Why do you assume that it is because hair was tightly curled that it got a bad reputation? If you watched that video, or if you read the book Hair Story, you would find out that tightly curled hair never carried a negative connotation any more than you being black makes you less human than a white person.

Let me try to explain this another way. If you do not take a bath and you start to smell and everyone in your family follows suit, in time we will start to associate the iri9109 clan with filth and stench. In time no one will want to be associated with the iri9109 clan because they are a filthy and smelly bunch. Anyone who happens to be related to them will want to deny it because it isn't cool to be part of that nasty bunch. Suppose many generations down the line your family changes its habits and starts to take a bath, that ugly reputation of being a filthy, smelly bunch will no longer apply to the iri9109 clan, and the reasons folks avoided you will be deemed void. You will not only be clean but you will also smell good not bad! You will no longer an embarrassment to those who associate with you. With this change of pace, you will actually be a family I would be proud to be associated with because you are no longer the disgrace you once were.

So it is with nappy hair. Back in Africa, before slavery, it was the crown of glory that our people wore to show off their cultures and status in the village. It was groomed beautifully and worn elaborately. Nappy hair was the shizzle. Enter slavery and our people are dragged across the seas like inanimate cargo. They were not given time to pack a travel bag and had to make do with nothing. The hair they groomed so beautifully and wore with pride could no longer be groomed anymore because they didn't bring with them their grooming kits. So the hair became filthy and smelly and ugly to behold. A thing they once treasured became neglected and unkempt. For the first time in all their lives, our people felt ashamed of their hair. And because they were a people, who took pride in how they looked, this hair became a disgrace and had to be kept covered. The combs they found in America were not made for their type of hair so did them no good. So it came to be that having nappy hair was not a nice thing because that type of hair was hair that could not be fixed. Why? Because the combs in America were for hair that looked different.

When they were raped by their masters and mixed kids with different hair were born, our people beheld a type of hair that could be groomed with American combs. A hair that was not a disgrace. It was good hair compared to theirs which had turned bad from neglect. And when our people later learned to straighten their hair, they once again were able to groom their hair with the previously inadequate tools. Finally their hair no longer looked bad but rather became good hair. So begun the story of good hair/bad hair. Good hair was hair that could be styled and bad hair was hair that stayed unkempt because there was nothing to make it look good. And it just so happened that the hair that could not be combed was the tightly coiled hair ie nappy hair. The hair that had to be hidden because it could not be groomed was the nappy hair. A hair became ugly not because it was nappy but because it was unkempt. And everyone who wished to have "good (groomed) hair" would have to "fix" their nappy hair to look more like the master's hair so that it could be groom-able with the only tools available.

But just like the iri9109 clan finally started taking baths and no longer smelled bad and but actually washed away that bad reputation they had, so did nappy hair lose its reputation for being unkempt as people found ways to groom it with the arrival of the proper grooming tools. Once again our people had resources to groom their hair as they once did, and this tightly-coiled mane no longer had to look bad as a rule.

So there you have it. The texture of the hair never had anything to do with it having a negative connotation. NEVER. Slavery's stripping us of our ability to take care of it the way we always did, made us not want to have it. But we got back that ability to groom it. But misinformation continues to brainwash people into thinking that "nappy"--a word that describes the hair of a large population of black people--is really an insult or something to be ashamed of. The same brainwashing that convinced us that having wide noses, dark skin...is also something to be ashamed of. Sad.

 

[Nonie]

Wrong comparison.

Why is it a wrong comparison? On the one hand you say that if someone uses a neutral word that is descriptive of you (TRUE ENGLISH MEANING, NO SLANG HERE) in a negative way, you would take offense to that. Yet if I pick words that I know you have no problem with (to match the way I have no problem with the way nappy) and write a sentence in a negative way (to match your comment about nappy being used in a negative way), that it's a wrong comparison? OK. Guess I am not very good at finding harmless words offensive so I can't come up with good comparisons for things that don't make sense to me.

Have a ball.

Been having it for 40+ years and will continue to have it and give thanks to God for blessing me with a head full of nappy hair.

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

YouTube - "My Nappy ROOTS" Award winning documentary on Black hair.

 

[naheda72]

I don't see the importance of convincing people who do not like their hair to be referred to as nappy to accept it. I don't like the word, and would not appreciate anyone referring to my hair as nappy. I definitely would not accept it from coworkers/manager. I don't know the historical transformation of the word nappy, meaning that its original meaning meant tightly coiled hair(I doubt it and would need the proof on that), so with that in mind, I don't see where the unaccpetance of it some how implies shame or the unacceptance of one's hair. I love my hair, but I don't love the term nappy. There is no argument that can be made that will allow me to accept it, and I think it is sad that people can't be satisfied that answer. People who choose to embrace that term have that right. What do I look like trying to convince them otherwise.

 

[dancinstallion]

That is the best quote ever so thank you for that. Yes it would still smell sweet and look beautiful so I have to remember that! Thank you.

This may come off as very odd, but I find it sad that people get offended by the word "nappy". I really do. I feel as sad as I do that some black people hate to be called "black". Some of you may scoff at that last line, but it is very real for those who find being called "black" derogatory because to them their skin is brown. I feel sad because I am so proud to be black. I don't view that word as bad. Even with all the history of the word "black" being used to talk about all things negative (except maybe the state of a bank account) and white to describe things positive, I still have never felt an aversion to being called a black person.

I understand why nappy is associated with unkempt hair. There was a time when having nappy hair meant you had no choice but to have unkempt hair. It wasn't because the hair was unkempt that it was nappy, it was because it was nappy that it was unkempt. Nappy meaning "having tight curls" --and that is the true meaning of the word nappy. Tight curls that would not allow fine-tooth combs--the only combs available then--to go through and groom the mane. And that lack of grooming led to unkempt hair. Then--way back then--it was not nice for anyone to call your hair nappy because if you had nappy hair, it was without doubt unkempt. For those who haven't seen the movie 400 Years Without a Comb, I implore you to watch it and you'll understand what I'm talking about. I will give a link to it at the end of this post.

So yes, it saddens me that certain things can be so ingrained in our people that we cannot even stop to think rationally about them, no matter how intelligent and educated we are. I know some will want to stone me for this, but it is a fact, that we choose to remain in ignorance if the meaning of a word is as clear as day and we continue to use it incorrectly, just because there was a time it implied that. So effin what if the next person uses it wrongly? Why must we drink from the same cesspool?

There was a time when being black implied you couldn't speak good English or read or do many of the things we are free to do today and do them as well as we do them today. So perhaps back then, there might've been a few who wished they hadn't been born black so they could have had what others had.

But what reason is there today to want to remove oneself from what is true about one? Yes, there are people who will never like your skin color or your hair texture but a rose by any other name will still smell sweet. So running away from words that describe you because of misunderstandings/misconceptions of old and letting those who'd love nothing more than to see you cringe succeed, when there are enough resources and free access to them today to clear things up for you and confirm that what you've been told over the years has been a lie (namely, confirm that nappy doesn't mean unkempt) to me is just.... (Words fail me!)

I am African, and I know there are people who consider it not cool to be African. But it is what it is. I am who I am. So just because some people associate being African with being backward or primitive, will I buy into that bullsh** and take offense whenever someone uses it as an insult or will I enlighten myself about what being African means and who Africans are so that the next time someone uses it to insult me, it rolls off me like mercury?

I have asked this before and I'll ask it again: there are men who look down on women. Everything dumb that is done in life is always some woman's fault. So if they said, "After all, you're just a woman" that would not be meant as a compliment. So suppose you grew up in a culture where women were second-class citizens who had no say and happened to have had those sort of male chauvinists around you all your life--nay, let's even just say you were visiting the village where all that goes on and learned that the word "woman" is used as a derogatory word--would you stop calling yourself "woman" because some ignoramus uses the word as an insult?

The point I am trying to make is NAPPY was never a dirty adjective. It was always a word that described a type of texture made of tight coils. Just because slavery made it out to be a bad thing to have that sort of hair doesn't mean we should continue to buy into that BS when we know very well that tightly coiled hair can be so beautiful and isn't the unkempt mess it once was. Back during slavery days, nappy meant unkempt However, today nappy means hair that, because of its tiny curls and their ability to do so much, is the most versatile hair type there is and can

• be worn in more styles than any other hair
• hold styles better than any other hair
• show off many looks than any other hair depending on what you do to it
• grow long once we stop trying to copy habits of other hair types and embrace it and listen to its needs and none other.

I pray you will open your minds as you watch the movie I mentioned earlier which is linked to in this thread.

 

[ms-gg]

I looked at her hair in the first video, and I don't understand how some people feel something is wrong with it? Her hair looks fine to me. Lord if that is unacceptable to wear to work I hate to see what a potential employer has to say about my hair when I look for a full time gig.

Let me gone head and jump in that soup and bread line now cause I ain't never gonna get a job. erplexed